My one year at school went by very quickly, my grades were good, I had no problem getting into university to study medicine. My parents wanted me to follow them into the medical profession. My first year was good, I found things easy, my parents were so pleased with the marks I was getting. The teachers were giving them good feedback; things were starting to go in the right direction.
In my second year at university my father died. I think it was his heart, he suffered no illness, he just did not wake up one morning. My mother had slept by his side; she had no idea that he was dead. When she woke in the morning he was still in bed. Every morning he was up and dressed by the time she woke. She checked his pulse and soon realised that he had passed away.
Since starting university I had a steady boyfriend, he was also studying to be a doctor. He was very caring, a thoughtful person always willing to help people. All of my girlfriends told me how lucky I was, they all wished they had a boyfriend like him. I notice a lot of girls would flirt with him, he liked to flirt back. This was never a problem for me, I trusted him. One day he was not around, I needed to ask him something important. I asked my friends if they had seen him, no one had seen him that day. It was important so I went to his room at the university. When I got to the door I heard a girl's voice inside. I tried the door, it opened, he had forgotten to lock it. He was naked on the bed with a girl from outside the university, a prostitute maybe. I ran away my eyes filling with tears, he had cheated on me. He tried to say sorry but I could not accept his offer, we were no longer together. I found out that he had been with a lot of girls, some from inside the university, some were my friends.
I had noticed that my body was always aching, I was always feeling ill, I decided to go and take a test for HIV. It was still new here, in its infancy. The spread was becoming alarming, government with the help of the aid agencies and churches were trying to educate people and setting up test centres.
I had taken my test and returned to the test centre for the results. The worker came in and gave me the results that I had been dreading, I was positive. My mother was so sad, being a doctor she knew this was a bad thing to happen to me. She helped me get the medicine I needed and told me to remember that it is only a disease; I can still live a normal life. This was not how it seemed to me, my life had changed, I had changed.
I gave up university, I still had two years to finish my degree but I did not feel it was worth studying anymore. My life was one big mess; the person who I loved had infected me with this disease, a death sentence. I no longer wanted to stay here in the city; I wanted to go back to the place of my birth.
I told my mother that I needed to leave the city and go back to the town where I was born. She told me that I left there when I was small; I knew nothing of the town. She told me my friends are here, “you have no one there.” I told her I could make new friends; my friends here could come and visit me. “You and father have family there; I would not be totally alone.” She finally gave in to my argument and told me she would contact relatives there.
A few weeks went by, I said goodbye to all of my friends in the city. I told them that I would always be thinking of them and they could come and visit me. I was on a bus to start my new life in a new place with new people.
I had been in the town six months when the rebels became more active, travel was very difficult, near impossible. I wanted to see my daughter but it was not possible. My friends could not visit me; it was too dangerous to travel by road. I was feeling very isolated. I was now stuck here alone, I needed work and friends.
I had been here just over one year when I was given the news that my mother had died. This was the worst thing for me to hear. I was already so depressed that I did not feel I wanted to live anymore. I walked into a bar and sat with a beer. There was another man in there, a European, working here has a teacher. We started to talk; he told me his name was Mr Ben. I told him that my mother had died and I could not get to see my daughter because of the rebels. When I told him I was HIV and I did not want to live anymore, he quickly told me that my daughter would need me one day. He talked to me for hours and hours, thanks to him I am here today.
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Chapter 6
The Heat of the Day
Peace drains the last drop of liquid from her glass, “I have to go now Mr Ben, thank you for talking to me.” She stands up, “would you like another drink Peace?” “no thank you Mr Ben, my two beers are enough.” She gives me a hug and leaves the bar, turning she gives me a wave. I really feel for this girl, her life is difficult to say the least, but she never looks down and out, always putting a smile on that pretty face.
A head appears over the bar, “Brenda, you look terrible,” “Ben, I have been sleeping, I always look terrible when I first wake up.” “So did you sleep well?” “yes thank you.” These guy's can sleep anywhere at anytime but I suppose they do have the late finish and early start.
“What are you doing now Brenda?" “I will go to the kitchen and start to prepare for this evening.” “Well before you go pass me another beer, Joseph's gone AWOL,” “what is AWOL Ben?” "doesn't matter Brenda, give me that beer.”
This is the hottest time of the day, must be late thirties. Strange how people go on holiday from England and sit out in this type of sunshine to get a tan. When you live in it the only thing you want is the shade.
“Hello Ben,” looking across the bar I see George. “Hello George, all finished?” “yes, the job is complete, back to work.” A small head appears from behind George's back, “is this your lady George?” “yes.” The girl is a pretty little thing, maybe eighteen; George has daughters older than this one. What these young girls will do for some money. George leaves through the back door, his little conquest goes through the front. On her way she gives me a smile, looking for more business. I've probably taught that one.
Joseph arrives back, “where have you been?” “I went for a sleep Mr Ben.” I could have robbed the place, mind there's probably no money in the till. “Ok give me another beer, that's three you have to put on my tab,” “yes Mr Ben, no problem.”
There's a steady flow of hawkers this time of the day, it's too hot for them to walk around in the sun. The streets will be empty so they will spend one or two hours in the bar. They usually buy a drink and have a sleep. Even me, I fall asleep about this time.
My head drops and I am soon dreaming, these days I seem to dream a lot. I'm drifting on the ocean, why am here? how did I get here? This is not water it's blood, I'm floating in a sea of blood. Slowly the weight of my clothing is pulling me under. My head is the only part of my body that is not submerged. Slowly my head disappears into the sea of blood, it's total darkness, nothing, no sound, no sight, nothing.
“Mr Ben, Mr Ben, wake up,” I open my eyes to see Joseph shaking my arm. “Wow Joseph, I was sleeping,” “sorry Mr Ben, someone wants to talk with you on the phone, they say it's important,” "ok Joseph, thank you.” I go to the phone, “hello Ben speaking,” “Hi Ben it's James, your money has arrived, I will put it on the bus, it should there around midday tomorrow.” “Ok James thanks for that, we will have to get together for a beer soon,” "ok Ben, goodbye.” My pension that's good, money was getting short. James is a very old friend; we worked together a long-time ago. He sorts all of my money transactions for me. I don't have to worry about anything, he pays all of my bills, the money I receive is for food and drink.
I go back to my beer, putting the bottle to my lips I pour the liquid into my mouth. The beer is warm, but it's still drinkable. I don't think I can sleep again now, what a strange dream that was. I have been having lots of weird dreams recently.
We have a new visitor, a bloody dog, followed by two more. It's a bitch on heat, one of the other dog's attempts to mount her. A big lump of wood is propelled through the air and hits one of the dogs. The dog's yelps are deafening, it wakes the hawkers up. The dogs bound out of the bar with Joseph in pursuit. Joseph returns and picks up the lump of wood; his face is one of ac
hievement.
“Hello Ben,” “George you are back,” “yes I have left my phone in the room.” George is one crazy man, I have seen him drink until three in the morning, very drunk and he was going to work at eight in the morning. He is a surgeon; I hope that he was not operating on those days. The patient had no chance or at best fifty fifty. “Got it Ben, see you tonight, bye,” George sprints out of the front door this time.
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Chapter 7
George's Story
My childhood was a wonderful time in my life, we played in the nearby forest, we made our own toys, life was simple. Of course all children had to do chores; it was part of family life. Fetching water, tending the cattle, this was usually done before I went to school and when I came home.
School was run by the Catholic Church, our teachers were local people. There were two classrooms for one hundred students, boys and girls. We did not have books or pens, but we did have a blackboard. When we were naughty the teacher would throw the chalk at us but it did not hurt.
One day some people came to my parent's house, they wanted me to go to the capital to finish my schooling. The school was a big complex belonging to the Catholic Mission in the city. When my parents told me that I was going to a new school I cried, I did not want to leave the village or my family and friends. After one week of pointless protests my mother and father took me to the capital. The place was so big and when we reached the school I could not believe how different it was. There was a library, books and pens, all of the things a school should have. The classrooms were painted brilliant white, the floors polished like mirrors, everything was so clean. My parents left me and I was taken in by a fellow student who showed me what I needed to know.
I spent five good years at the school, my achievements were top grade. One day I was called into the headmaster's office. Sitting inside with the headmaster were two people with strange accents. The people were from Germany, their English was good but with an accent. The headmaster explained to me that these people wanted to take me to Europe and pay for my university education there. Europe, Germany, we had studied about these places in geography, now I was going to live there. The headmaster told me that we needed to speak with my parents first, they were coming to the school the next day.
My parents arrived on a bright sunny morning, one I will never forget. I was called to the office, my parents and the German people were sat with the headmaster. I soon found out that I was going to Germany in one month for my education. My parents had agreed that it was the best thing for me, I was not so sure.
The time passed quickly, the day had come for me to leave my country. My parents came to the airport to say goodbye, I was very sad. Once inside the plane I marvelled at my new surroundings. Taking my seat with the German man, he showed me how to put my seat belt on. The ladies on the plane were talking about safety, I did not understand this. The plane started to move, this was easy, not frightening at all. The plane came to a halt, the engines started to make a lot of noise and we were moving again. Faster and faster we were going, the bus did not go this fast. There was a bang, now I was frightened. The German man reassured me that everything was fine. The plane was at an angle, we were going away from the ground. Quickly the cars and the buildings started to get smaller and smaller until we were in the clouds. I remember looking up at the clouds when I was a child, they always intrigued me. Know they looked solid, could I walk on them I wondered. During the flight we were given food, I did not like it very much but I was so hungry I ate it. When the plane arrived in Germany it was dark so the only thing I remember about the landing was a big bump.
After one night in a hotel I was taken to my new university, here I would also be sleeping. The place was very intimidating, big and lots of people. I soon settled in and found a group of friends. Most of the students were from Germany, there were also a few from England, America and France. I had decided to study medicine, when I was a child I always wanted to be a doctor. While studying I got my first glimpse of racism. I was walking back to the campus one night when I was surrounded by five men. They taunted me; they called me a monkey among other things before they beat me up. It was only by fortune that two policemen came around the corner and stopped their onslaught; otherwise my injuries would have been a lot worse. Racism popped it's head up a few times after this, it made me very sad that people could act like this. Finally I finished my studies, my grades were good I could carry on and become a doctor. Once I had qualified I left Germany and went to England. It was in England that I specialised in general surgery. It was a lot more studying but I was a surgeon, anything from removing a gall bladder to hernia repairs.
My life was good in England, I loved living in London but I felt that I needed to go home and help my own people. It took a lot of my time thinking over this proposal. My living standards were good here; there was a rebel movement which was getting stronger by the day in my country. They were in a mountainous region in the east of the country but were spreading their terror rapidly. In the end I knew I had to go.
On my return to the capital I invested my finances into a small clinic with a house in the grounds. I married my childhood sweetheart who gave me some wonderful children. The clinic grew rapidly; I was becoming a wealthy man. The rebellion was at its height, travelling outside of the capital was impossible. I just remained in the city, building on my wealth. I built a large house in a beautiful suburb of the city and opened another clinic. My kingdom was growing, but I longed to go back to my birthplace and help the people there.
Finally the rebellion was crushed and things started to go back to normal. Travel was once again possible, I needed to go and do something for my people. I told my wife of the plan which she accepted as long as I did not want her to go back also. She and the girls loved the capital; the lifestyle was perfect for them. It took me six months of planning before I finally left my family.
Over time I built a clinic in my village, this served other villages in the area. The clinic was run by local people; I would visit once a week. In the local hospital I did surgery for free for the people who could not afford to pay. I was financially supported by my clinics in the capital so I did not need a salary. I also got support from some aid agencies and we built more clinics for the people.
People ask me if I regret giving up my European lifestyle, the answer is simple, no. Those people from Germany gave me a chance of a better life; this made me want to give other people the chance of a better life too. There is no better place than my own town and village to have done this and with my own people.
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Chapter 8
Return to the Pit
“Joseph get me another beer, I'm just going to the pit,” “ok Mr Ben.” I walk across the yard and open the door to the pit. I see Barbara squatting, her backside hanging over the pit while she empties her bladder. Her feet are dangerously close to the edge of the pit, if that was me I would fall backwards into the slime. “Hello Barbara, how are you?” I'm good Mr Ben, you too?” “yes thank you.” I pull down my zip and release my manhood from within. I start to empty my bladder, here nobody cares about what the other person is doing. “I have not seen that for a long-time Mr Ben,” Barbara says with a chuckle. “We have a saying Barbara,” “what is that Mr Ben?" “you can look but don't touch.” Barbara laughs and says “you never said that a few years ago,” “I was young then,” “you still are Mr Ben.” Barbara stands up her panties around her ankles. She pulls them up and within a few seconds everything is in place. I put my manhood away and we leave together. Outside we wash our hands in the bucket of water supplied by the proprietor. “You are here early today Barbara,” “yes I have a client soon, so one beer before I go to see him.” Barbara is a prostitute for want of a better word. She's originally from the city but got stuck here during the rebellion. She seems to have found plenty of work over the years so never moved back. We take the well worn path back to the bar, my beer is there waiting for me. Barbara sits by me and orders
her beer, she's still a good looking girl, God knows how many men she has slept with.
“So how is life treating you my girl?” “It's ok Mr Ben, men will always want sex, the problem is more girls are doing it now, some are as young as fourteen or fifteen.” What she is saying is very true; I have noticed this over the last two years. Times are not easy for people, no jobs, no money, how do you feed yourself or your family?
“What about you Mr Ben, no girlfriend?” “no Barbara, not since Jenny, I really need to be at peace.” Jenny was a very lovely girl; we lived together for two or maybe more years. I really thought I would marry this girl but there was a tragedy. She was travelling to the capital to get a flight to England when she was in collision with a bus. They told me she was killed instantly; this still didn't lighten the pain. It took me a few years to recover my loss; I don't want to go through that again, so I live on my own. “Yes I understand Mr Ben, she was a lovely girl.” Barbara looks at her watch, “I need to go Mr Ben, I can't keep the client waiting,” she looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Ok Barbara, be careful, use a condom,” she just laughs and shrugs her shoulders. Putting her glass to her lips she finishes her beer and walks towards the door. “Goodbye Mr Ben, see you later,” “Bye to you too Barbara.”
The bar is empty again, I am alone, not forgetting Joseph, he's sat reading a book in the corner. My little talk with Barbara has opened old wounds. I had almost erased Jenny from my mind, in a nice way. Now I am starting to think about her, what I lost that day the police came to the school and gave me the bad news. I suppose it was after losing her that my life went haywire. This bar became my home; I did not want to go back to an empty house.
We have a new visitor, a little naked baby, one year old perhaps. He crawls into the bar stops and sits upright in the centre of the floor space. I am not sure who he belongs to but he will not be far from his mother. He's not staying long, he crawls back towards the door and he's gone.