Back in the bar I am not alone; a couple of men that I don't recognise are sat in the corner sharing A4 size pieces of paper. I take my seat at the bar and let a big helping of this amber liquid slide down my throat, which is good.
A few minutes pass by, my eyes start to close. BANG! I open my eyes to see a bible on the bar next to my drink. This can only mean one thing, slowly I raise my head, my namesake, Ben or should I say Benjamin, or Pastor Ben, whatever. This man is a so called Pastor, he never wants to buy a drink, he wants you to buy one for him. “Hello Pastor, how is your flock?” “waiting for you to join them Ben.” They can bloody wait a long-time for me; religion is not on my list of 10 things to do before I die. “Do you want a soda Pastor?” “I would prefer a beer Ben,” he is a cheeky man, “Joseph, beer for the Pastor.” I really don't like this man; he uses his authority to have sex with the young girls. Brenda was one of them; I remember her telling me what she was asked to do by him. I wanted to punch his lights out at the time. Why do I encourage him by buying him a beer, I should just tell him to go and ask God to buy him a beer. Now I have to talk to this man who hides behind religion for the next half hour.
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Chapter 18
Pastor Benjamin's Story
When I was a child growing up I was always into mischief. I would steal things from people and places. Small things, some sweets, some fruit, some coins. When I became a big boy I was stealing bigger more expensive things. I was only sixteen when I paid a girl to have sex with me, she was my first prostitute. I was also drinking spirits, this is what I used the money from my crimes for. People looked up to me, “he is the one with money” they would say, but they did not know where the money came from. My parent's knew nothing of all this wealth, they questioned me a few times but I always denied it. This made things difficult for me, my parents were poor, but I could not give them money because they would want to know where it came from. I would see them struggle, unable to help them.
When I was twenty my life changed completely. One evening I was counting some money I had just stolen from someone. I was sat in a dark lane between the houses, there were no lights, just the moon. I heard a sound, looking up I saw the figure of a man coming towards me. The man did not seem to be walking; he was floating across the ground making no contact with the earth. Quickly I hid the money in my pocket and stood up. The man stopped in front of me, his face was difficult to see, it was too dark. He told me that I was going to meet a terrible death because of my bad feelings towards other people. I was going to be in a great deal of pain for a long-time. This man was frightening me, who was he? what did he mean “lots of pain" I heard another noise, looking over to my left side I saw a cat hit a bin over. Turning my head back towards the man, I was amazed to find he had gone. If he had started to walk away he would still be in sight, but nothing, just empty space. That night I had many bad dreams, I was frightened for my life.
Next day I went to the church, I had never been into a church before. I prayed for many hours, I was not sure if God would listen, maybe it was too late. While praying I heard a voice tell me to get a bible and preach for my salvation. I knew I had to do this to survive. Leaving the church I noticed a bible on a small table. Looking around I could see no one, so I stole the bible.
I started to preach to people I knew, like friends and family. I was also preaching in the streets, some people would listen, some people would ridicule. I was becoming more and more popular, people were visiting me wanting help with their problems. I was starting to collect money, soon there was enough to build a small church. More money from the congregation built a small house by the church for me to live in. People would give me food, drink and money if I needed. One day I met an American who said he could help me, he gave me some funds and told me that I should call myself Pastor Benjamin. I took his advice and had signs painted with my name to put on the church.
People respected me in the town, wherever I was people wanted to talk to me about the problems they had. I was going to solve all of their problems through God. I would walk into a bar and they would buy me a beer, I would walk into a restaurant and they would give me my food free of charge.
There were parents bringing their young daughters to me, these girls were seventeen or eighteen years old. They were being promiscuous, sleeping with different men. Their parents were worried that they would become pregnant or become prostitutes, they wanted God's help. I would take the girl to my house where she would sleep in my bed. I would put God's love inside her and chase out the evil that had been put inside her by these other men. Some people in the town did not accept my ways, but they had no religion, they did not believe in the almighty God.
On one occasion I stole the money from the congregation pot and gave it to my parents. I informed the police of the theft, within three weeks they arrested a young boy. They told me that all of the money was gone but the thief was in prison. I thanked them for their assistance and blessed them and their families. The young boy spent three years locked in prison. I did not feel any guilt, it was God's way to punish this boy for other wrongdoing he had done.
Several of my flock I had impregnated, the babies were not mine they were God's. I followed the orders of the almighty, whenever he told me in a dream to have his child I would pick a girl from my congregation and impregnate her. All of the girls had to be virgins.
One day there was loud banging on my door. I looked through the curtain to see the school teacher, Ben. He was looking very angry and very aggressive. He thumped the door again, I was not going to open the door, this man was too angry. Finally he gave up and went away. I kept out of his way for several weeks, until one day he found me. He lectured me on the work I do for God, how would he have known God's work, he was a non-believer. He told me he had heard from one of the girls I had saved about the things I made her do to me. I did not make her do these things, God made her do them. When he had finished his lecture he turned his back on me and walked away.
Over time God explained to Ben his workings, now I think Ben understands God's work a little more than he did before. Time has healed, now we are the best of friends, soon he will join my flock I am sure.
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Chapter 19
Born Again
“So how are you Ben?” “I am good Pastor.” This is always hard work for me because I still want to hit this man hard for what he did to Brenda. He has lots of children that he has fathered, but he doesn't look after any of them. He is always looking for money, I give him ten minutes and he will be asking me to help him. “When are you coming to visit my church Ben?” “that's an easy question to answer Pastor, never.” Always the same topic, perhaps I should change it, ask him how many little girls he has had in his bed this week. Calm down, he always riles me like this. “I was in the capital last week Ben, there is a church from the USA that wants to help me,” “oh, that's great Pastor.” I hope they want to help you die, I should not think like this but I hate this man. “What about you Ben, what have you been doing?” “the usual Pastor, my daily routine never changes.” He is trying to make conversation with me, any information I tell him would be broadcast to everyone in the town by this evening. “I have been thinking about going back to England,” everyone will be telling me this evening or tomorrow morning that I must stay here. “Go back to England, but you are one of us now Ben”, “there is a saying Pastor, all good things must come to an end.” I think he has taken the bait, his beer is nearly finished, wait for it Ben, “that would be tragic to lose you Ben.” I could never go back there, I don't even want to think about it. Good, his beer is finished, “Ben I wonder if you could help me with a bit of money? I can pay you back in a couple of days when I get this money from the USA.” I wasn't expecting that, like hell I wasn't, give me, give me, give me, always the same with this lowlife. “Sorry Pastor, I am waiting for my money to come through also,” “oh never mind, thank you anyway Ben.” Please hurry up and leave me alone. “I must go Ben, thanks for the dri
nk, see you soon,” “your welcome.” Thank heavens for that, any longer I am not sure what I would have done to him.
“Joseph, give me another beer.” I watch Joseph rummage around in the freezer, he brings out a cold beer, so cold it's solid ice. “Not that one Joseph,” “ok Mr Ben.” Joseph pulls out another bottle, he wipes it and pops off the top, “there Mr Ben, a nice cold one,” “thanks Joseph.” “I see your friend with you Mr Ben,” “he is no friend to me Joseph.” Most people know how I feel about this fake religious bigot. “Ha-ha, I know Mr Ben, you really hate him,” “yes Joseph I do.”
I feel a sharp pain in my side, turning around I see Brenda with a big smile across her face. “Brenda will you stop doing that.” She puts her arms around my neck and pulls me close to her, she pecks me on the cheek. “I am sorry Ben, let me kiss it better.” This girl is so lovely, “how are the bruises my girl?” “everything is fine, just a little sore where she pulled my hair.” I think the other girl will be feeling more pain than Brenda. “That's good, try to be more careful in the future, make sure they are not married.” I know she will not take any notice of my words of wisdom. “Ben I am always careful, I always use a condom.” With a loud laugh she runs out of the bar.
I can smell smoke in the air from the fires in the street. People are getting their barbeques ready for this evening. All along the street in the evening are vendors, they will be cooking all types of food, the smell is wonderful. If the wind is blowing in the wrong direction, the bar will appear to be on fire. Strange how you don't get a smoky atmosphere from cigarettes, because smoking is not allowed inside the bar, but you can damage your lungs with the smoke from the fires.
“Hi Ben,” I turn to see William going through the bar, “hello William.” William cooks food on the street. I have never seen him wash his hands when handling uncooked meat, going to the toilet, handling money. He is a giant walking salmonella germ. He comes back into the bar and joins me. “Where did you just go William?” “to the toilet,” “did you wash your hands?” I always ask him, it puts him on the defensive. “Oh no Ben, I must do that, I forgot.” He doesn't go back to the water bucket in the courtyard, he goes back out the front entrance. “See you later Ben,” he will not wash his hands, “see you later William.”
I think in about one hour the place should start to liven up. The football is a long way away, they watch English football and the time difference is about three hours I think.
Opposite end of the bar from me is Peter. He has a big problem with sweating. Looking at him now he looks like he has just stepped out of the shower. “Hello Ben, how are things?” shit, I hope he doesn't come and sit by me, when he twists around to talk to someone he showers them with his sweat. “I'm good Peter, are you ok?” “yes, could not be better, just got myself a new lady.” Poor girl, imagine waking up and swimming in Peter's bodily fluids. “That's nice, good luck,” “thank you Ben, she is a nice girl.” Another man comes over and joins Peter, I think they are doing some business. This is good news, it means he is not going to come and sit by me, “thank you God,” perhaps there is a small particle of religious believe in this old body of mine.
I feel a tap on my shoulder, turning around I am face to face with a beggar. This one is a regular visitor, the poor man is blind. I put my hand into my pocket and pull out a few coins, I place them in his already open hand. He moves away touring the bar, he collides with one obstacle after another trying to collect more money.
Slowly my head drops onto the bar, I feel so relaxed, the sounds around me drift away. I find myself sat on an empty beach with the ocean rushing towards me. My peaceful state is disturbed by a loud bang, everyone moves to the entrance of the bar. Probably two cars have collided, but everyone wants to look. Slowly people come back to their drinks. Joseph returns to the bar, “what was it Joseph?” “two cars crashed Mr Ben.”
Here is another stranger, Patrick; I haven't seen him in here for months. “Mr Ben how are you?” "I am good Patrick.” This poor soul was taken by the rebels when he was eleven, he returned home at the age of fourteen. Now he has a lot of confidence, but when he first came back he was a mess. I remember talking to him a few years after he had returned home. The things he was made to do to other people were horrific, no child of that age should have to experience such things.
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Chapter 20
Patrick's Story
It started like any other day, the sun was beating down, it was going to be a hot day. I got out of my bed and dressed myself, I picked up the jerrycan and walked my usual route to the stream. Before I got to the stream I decided to take a shortcut through the forest. My parents always told me never to go into the forest, but today I felt tired and I knew this would be less walking. Inside the forest I saw two men standing idle, when I reached them they asked me my name and where I was going. When I told them I was going to the stream, they said they would come with me. Walking along they talk to me a lot, they seemed to be nice men. They told me to follow them on another track, it was a shorter route. I only knew the way on this path, but I was tired so I followed them. The forest became darker, the trees and bushes became more. We walked for a time, then we came to a group of soldiers. The two men started to talk to the one soldier, they seem to be friends with him. The soldier shouted to his people to grab the boy, the boy was me. I was swept off my feet by a very tall soldier, the jerrycan fell to the ground. They all started to walk deeper and deeper into the forest. I was struggling, I was kicking my feet but the man was too strong, I stopped with fatigue. I am not sure how long we were walking through the forest, but it seemed a like hours. Finally we came to a clearing which was some kind of camp. Now my ordeal was about to begin.
I was thrown to the ground by the big man, this hurt my shoulder. Everyone gathered around me, I could see other children like me, but they were dressed like soldiers and they had guns. The leader called three of the younger boys over, he told them to beat me. The first few kicks hurt, I rolled into a ball and cried, I wanted my mother. After the beating I was given some medicine, this medicine made me feel very strange. I felt I was floating in the sky. Someone in my head was talking to me, they were saying I was strong; nothing and no one could hurt me.
The next day and the next day and the next day were all the same, a beating and then the medicine. Finally one day there was no beating, just the medicine. The man who I later found out was the commander gave me a machete, I did not understand what he wanted me to do. He was shouting, but because of the medicine his voice sounded very strange. A small boy like me was brought forward, he was one of the boys who had been beating me. They held him down and put his arm out straight. The distorted voices were telling me to cut off his hand, if I did not do this I would be shot. I remember swinging the blade and hearing a scream, after that it was darkness. I was made to perform more bad things until I was given my title, I was a boy soldier.
The medicine made things easier; going into villages I would find it easy to kill a person. I remember four of us burning someone because they had told us a lie. We were guided by the veterans, the bigger men. If we found a girl we would hold her down, the older soldier would have sex with her first, then each of us took turns after. Sometimes the girl would be left alive, sometimes she would be killed, either a bullet or a machete, the latter being the most lightly, bullets cost money.
If we raided a village we would try to pick up a few new recruits, young boys. If they resisted they would die like the rest of the people in the village. Sometimes we would meet the army of the government, they were big battles, but we knew the forest too well, they could never catch us.
In the camp there were girls who had been taken from their villages like me. They did not fight, their job was to cook and give the older soldiers sex. They would get pregnant, the baby would be born in the camp with no medical treatment or a doctor present. A lot of times the mother or the baby would not survive, sometimes both would die.
I remember one night a boy tried t
o escape; he was captured and brought back. We were all called to watch the older soldiers give him his punishment. The punishment was so severe, bits of his body were cut from him including his penis, ears, lips, other things I do not want to remember. He did not survive his ordeal, the big men told us that this is what would happen to traitors. They wanted to frighten us all and they succeeded.
One day we were ambushed by the army, they knew where we were, someone must have told them. We had no chance to strike back, I watched everyone around me fall. Some did manage to escape back into the forest. My medicine made me feel invincible, I fired my gun until I felt a big pain in my stomach. Slowly I toppled forward onto my front and darkness prevailed.
I woke in a hospital; the sheets on the bed were so white. The nurse came over and stroked the top of my head, she then gave me some medicine. Over the coming days I became stronger and stronger. The medicine they gave me was not like the medicine I had taken in the forest, it was a good medicine, it made me feel better.
More weeks had gone by, I was now walking again but still in a lot of pain. Some people were coming to talk to me everyday, they talked about my time in the forest. They asked me lots of questions about what it was like being a soldier. Often I would cry when I started to talk about the things I had done. I had killed people, raped girls and women; I burnt their houses and stole their money. I took their food and animals from them. These people had done nothing to me but I had hurt them a lot.
I was finally fit enough to go to a special orphanage where I was educated. I was not allowed back to my village, it had been attacked by rebels, it may well have been the group I was with. The medicine we took in the forest left your mind blank. During the attack my family had been massacred.