“So, you’re tying the knot tonight,” Bruce said quietly, brushing a strand of brown hair out of his eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Is she nice?”
“Very.” Dan wished he could think of something to say that might ease the tension between them. “I like her. Mom doesn’t.”
“I know. She was here today. She’s got this stupid idea that if you marry Mrs. Bentley, it’s going to make things worse for me. I can’t convince her I deserve everything I get – and then some.” He laughed bitterly.
“Mom always has heard only what she wants to hear,” Dan agreed.
“I- I want you to know I appreciate what you’re doing for her. If I could make up for what I’ve done-”
“I know, Bruce. I don’t mind.”
“You’ll take good care of her, and her baby.”
“Yes.”
Dan hated this. He should have tried to help him more. He looked out of place here. Like a frightened little boy who had broken the cookie jar and couldn’t fix it. Except the punishment wouldn’t be a simple spanking. It would be a lonely life sentence, to be served out in prison.
“I’m so sorry,” Bruce’s voice broke on a sob. “I wish you didn’t have to pay for this. I wish I could take it all back. I’d give anything if I had it to do over. Will you tell her that for me? Please?”
“I’ll tell her.” But Dan knew he wouldn’t. Jess wasn’t ready to accept an apology from him. She probably never would be.
“I should have listened to you. If I had, he’d still be alive, and everything would be all right.”
“Bruce, don’t.” Dan felt a lump the size of a football in his throat. “What’s done is done, and beating yourself over the head with it won’t help.”
“I just feel so bad for her. And for you. I never meant to get you into a mess like this.”
“No one’s twisting my arm. I’m just glad I can help out. Now why don’t you settle down, okay? I can’t stay much longer, but I was remembering that time up at Big Star Lake when we were kids, and you caught that little fish. Remember, Bruce?”
When it came down to the wire, Bruce was still his brother. A long-forgotten love surfaced, and with it, his own wish that things might have turned out differently.
~~~~~
“You girls ready?” Ty asked, looking handsome in his black tuxedo. Cal and Ed looked dashing in theirs as well. Emma and Darby, wearing rose colored formals, would walk down the aisle with their husbands, ahead of Ed and Jess. Right now, Jess wished she had about fifty bridesmaids, so she could postpone the moment as long as possible.
“I guess so,” Jess answered quietly, trembling so hard she wasn’t sure she could get through the ordeal to come.
“The moment of doom has arrived,” he whispered ominously, leaning toward her ear. Jess giggled at his tone, and he said, “That’s better. It could be worse. He could be sixty, and fat with no teeth.”
“Ha-ha.” Dan didn’t even come close to that dismal description.
“It’s time,” Emma said, opening the door, and reaching out to grasp her husband’s arm. Cal and Darby followed them out, and Ed came to stand beside her, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. He smiled down at her and said,
“I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but everything will be all right.”
Dan waited at the front of the church, also in black, Cal standing beside him, acting as best man. From the front pew Nate Mulholland smiled pleasantly at her, though his wife couldn’t manage more than a scowl. At least it looked that way, but Jess couldn’t be sure. She’d only glanced their way for a moment.
Too soon, Ed was handing her over to the man who was about to become her second husband. It dawned on her that this would be her second marriage in fewer than four months.
As the words were spoken, Jess recalled the last time she’d heard them. A joyous occasion she’d anticipated with hope and excitement. She and Frank had smiled at each other from beginning to end, when he had kissed her softly, his hand gently cupping her face. The sound of someone clearing his throat brought her back to the present.
“Please repeat after me,” the minister said kindly. Obviously, she’d missed the first request. “I, Jess Marie.”
“I, Jess Marie.”
“Take you, Daniel…”
~~~~~
Dan saw it in the reverend’s eyes a split second before he said it. The surprised horror because the secret he’d sworn to keep was about to roll off his tongue as if no promise had been made at all. A secret Dan had spent his entire life protecting.
And then, suddenly, there it was. He didn’t have to see them to know whose reactions he was hearing. Coach and Sam discreetly clearing their throats. Cal’s sudden, muffled fit of coughing. And Jon…
Jon, who had known deep down how perfectly awful it had to be, and who had tried relentlessly to discover the truth when they were growing up, wasn’t quite so subtle. The low rumble of his laughter could be heard, even in the deepest, darkest corners of the sanctuary.
“…Leslie.”
“Take you, Daniel...Leslie.” Dan closed his eyes, squeezing her hand softly when he sensed she was about to laugh. Jon’s quietly amused, ‘Leslie’ sounded behind him.
Yeah, he was in for it. When he took the wedding ring from Cal, and saw him valiantly trying to hide a smile – Cal, by far the gentlest of the four – he knew it without a doubt. All his precautions turned out to be for naught. All those years of worrying, just to have it broadcast so publicly at his wedding.
Then he wondered why he even was worrying about it. He was twenty-eight years old for heaven’s sake, not some emotional, prepubescent boy, whose feelings could be crushed over something as awful as having your grandfather’s name forced on you. It wasn’t like he’d had any say in the matter.
~~~~~
The rest of the ceremony was a complete blur. Perhaps it was due to the strain she’d been under, but it took all of the self-control Jess possessed not to laugh hysterically. As it was, her shoulders shook from the effort, and she had to bite her lip hard a couple of times to prevent a giggle. It was his fault. He should have warned her.
“You may kiss your wife.” Whoa. Okay. So much for humor. For some reason, Jess hadn’t actually thought about this part of the ceremony, which was rather foolish given that all grooms kissed their brides – because that’s what always happened at the end of a wedding ceremony.
Except most brides had probably kissed their grooms at least once prior to their marriage, something she and Dan had never done. Something Jess didn’t want to do even now. And if she hadn’t been so shocked, she might have protested when the minister spoke the words.
But then Dan’s lips were pressed gently against hers, and all the thoughts racing through her mind fled. Jess was horrified to find it felt nice. More than nice.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Mulholland.”
The guests, numbering very close to seventy, applauded as Dan and Jess, Ty and Emma, and Cal and Darby walked back down the aisle, and Jess pondered the enormity of this change in her life. Mrs. Daniel Mulholland. Jess Mulholland. She tried the new name, in much the same way she’d done with Frank’s. It didn’t feel right like it had with his, and she knew it would take some getting used to.
~~~~~
Everyone who was staying for the reception headed down to the basement of the church, which had been decorated with flowers, balloons, streamers and candles. The wedding party formed a receiving line, and Dan found himself on the wrong end of the ribbing he'd known was coming. Ed found it amusing enough to ask, “So, how does it feel to be married, Leslie?”
And while he’d expected the worst to come from Jon, who only murmured, “Congratulations, Leslie,” it was actually Sam who couldn’t seem to stop chuckling, especially whenever he looked him straight in the eye. Dan put it down to his age, three years younger than the rest of them. Immature little brat.
~~~~~
E
verything that followed was traditionally correct, from the gifts piled on a table by guests who hadn’t been told the circumstances behind the event, to the huge wedding cake and buffet, to the band playing a variety of music, so all present could dance and have a good time.
They cut the three-tiered cake, Dan smashing a piece in Jess’s face like all new husbands did. They danced alone, on display, like all newlyweds did. And almost everyone in the room kept pounding on their tables in what was probably the universal demand for them to kiss, like all wedding guests did.
This was the most difficult part of the pretense for Jess. She didn’t want Dan’s kisses. She wanted Frank’s. Worse yet, she didn’t want to like them. But she did.
Thankfully, at ten, Dan announced they were leaving. Since the minister had told them they could have the reception hall until two, everyone was welcome to stay and have a good time. Finally, he thanked them all for coming, and they hurried to the car in a shower of birdseed.
“I hope that didn’t tire you out too much,” Dan said, pulling onto the road and heading for home. A light dusting of snow had fallen, covering the road, and Dan’s attention was on his driving.
“Not at all.” Now that they were alone, Jess felt like she could relax for the first time that day.
“I think it went well.”
“Except for that one part,” she said quietly.
“Which part was that?”
“Leslie.” Dan glanced at her, rolling his eyes, before turning his gaze ahead again.
CHAPTER 7
Jess woke the following morning and her first thought was she was Dan’s wife now, not Frank’s, and she felt different. Nothing she could really put her finger on, but it was strange. Like last night.
Though she’d tried, she had finally given in to her amusement over his somewhat…different...middle name, and they’d chuckled about it most of the way home. It had only been when Dan turned in to the driveway that the change in marital status really sank in, and then they’d both grown quiet.
Under normal circumstances, they would have retired to their room to get to know one another in the most intimate of ways. Instead, the moment had been tense, Dan insisting that Jess get to bed, while he unloaded the gifts from the car. She’d had, he told her, a long day and should get some rest. When Jess protested that he’d had a long day too, Dan brushed it off and sent her inside.
Much later, she heard him in the hall, stopping for a moment outside her door. She decided he must also have been pondering their bizarre union, the bride and groom sleeping in separate rooms on their wedding night. Then he had continued down the hall, and she’d heard the sound of his door closing quietly.
Now it was just after six, following a night filled with disturbing dreams. She couldn’t remember details, just that they were weird and she’d been relieved to wake up.
Knowing she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, Jess pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed. Oddly enough, she felt well rested, and she made her bed, before dressing in jeans and a white sweater.
Larger pants were definitely on the agenda sometime in the near future. For some reason, her stomach had rounded enough in the past few days to make the ones she owned a bit snug. Maybe she’d go shopping next week, she thought, creeping out of her room and heading for the stairs, not wanting to disturb Dan. But the mouthwatering aroma of breakfast wafting through the house told her he was already up, and her stomach growled in anticipation.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, as he stood at the stove, turning thick, meaty slices of bacon. Her stomach actually growled, loud enough that he heard, and he grinned. “Hungry?”
“What gave me away?” she asked, grinning back at him, and sitting on a stool at the counter. “I didn’t think you’d be up this early.”
“I never sleep in.”
“Not even on weekends?”
“Not even then. Do you want some orange juice?”
“I’ll get it,” she said, starting to get up, but Dan shook his head.
“You just sit there and relax. I’ll get it.”
Soon, a large, frosty glass of juice was in front of her, and Dan leaned over to rest his arms on the countertop. Jess couldn’t help but notice he looked especially nice in a black cable knit sweater, or that he smelled really good. Things she really shouldn’t be noticing, even if he was now her husband.
“I should probably be helping you,” she murmured, lowering her eyes.
“Nah. I’m so used to this, I could do it in my sleep.”
“Do you always eat like this when you cook?” she asked nervously, recalling breakfast with everyone the previous weekend. The rest of the week Dan had done no more than grab a cup of coffee on his way out the door.
“Only on Saturdays.”
“That’s good.” She glanced out the huge bay window. An inch or so of fresh snow had fallen, covering everything in sight. “Fatty foods aren’t especially healthy.”
“Actually, I’m pretty good about that sort of thing,” he said easily, as her face flushed in embarrassment. “But if you’re not comfortable with it, we can start having bran muffins or something.”
“Oh no. I didn’t mean that,” Jess told him quickly. “I love bacon and eggs. I guess I was just trying to make conversation.”
“Is now a good time to confess that I have hash browns warming in the oven?”
“What are bacon and eggs without hash browns?” She smiled as he turned back toward the stove.
“A woman after my own heart.”
He was a good cook, Jess admitted a while later. Perfect eggs, over medium with no slimy parts, yolks runny enough to dip her toast in. Just crisp bacon, not too crisp, yet not limp either. Heavenly hash browns.
“This is wonderful,” she said, biting into lightly browned toast. “You’re a better cook than I am.”
“Since this is about the only thing I can cook, I’d have to disagree. But thank you anyway.” He took a bite of bacon, and chewed it slowly. “Feel up to a bit of travel today?”
“Why?”
“I was thinking maybe we could take a run over to Frankenmuth.”
“Why?” Sometimes she sounded like a broken record.
“I don’t know, something to do I guess. It doesn’t feel right to be just married, and not do anything special, or at least something out of the ordinary. Have you ever been there?”
“No. Every time I see one of their billboards, I think I should make the trip over, but then I always get busy and forget about it.”
“Well, I’ll buy you the best chicken dinner you’ve ever had if you say yes.”
“I suppose we could. But I hope you don’t feel like you have to entertain me, Dan.” He’d done too much for her already.
“No, I was thinking about going anyway. I need to pick up some new decorations for my annual Christmas party. A trip to Bronner’s is a lot more interesting than another trip to the mall. Besides, the way I see it,” he said, sopping up some yolk with his toast, “we’re going to be married for the next couple of years. What better way to get acquainted than by being stuck in the car together for several hours?” Jess laughed at that.
“A Christmas party, you say?”
“I have one every year for my staff and business associates.
“Here at the house?”
“Yes, but if you’re not up to it, I’ll rent a hall,” he told her concerned, as always, for her well-being.
“Here is fine,” she lied, dreading the festivities she wouldn’t be sharing with Frank. “Will there be many guests?”
“Fifty or so. But I have it catered, Jess. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Catered? I don’t mind doing the food.”
“It’s too much work,” he said, shoving his plate to the side.
“No it isn’t. I love to cook.” Dan seemed to think about it, and then shook his head no.
“With the baby coming, I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
“I
f it turns out that it isn’t, you could still have it catered,” she pointed out. At least this was something she could do to help pay him back for the sacrifices he’d already made.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“All right.” He sighed. “It goes against my better judgment, but you’re a grown woman, and I suppose you know what you can handle.” He stood up and grabbed their plates. “So when do you want to take off?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
~~~~~
Life soon settled into a comforting pattern, and Jess made it a point to find out everything she could about this man who was her husband. There wasn’t much she could do to repay his kindness, except by doing the things that wives usually did. Like discovering what foods he preferred, and looking through his dressers and closet to see how he liked his clothes folded and hung. Just simple things she hoped would make his life a little easier.
Only the impending court date, set for early January, cast a shadow over this new and unusual life.
That, and finding it was becoming an effort to keep Frank’s memory alive. It had been so easy to keep her thoughts centered only on him and the life they might have had together before she’d found out about the baby. Now it seemed as though he had been no more than a pleasant memory from her past. It bothered her so much, she invited Emma to lunch at Ponderosa one afternoon in early December.
“It’s not that I don’t still love him,” she lamented over succulent sirloin tips, “but it’s- I don’t know, Em. It’s different.”
“You’re healing, Jess. It’s been almost five months. It’s normal. I’m glad you’re starting to get on with your life.”
“But I don’t want to forget him,” Jess whispered.
“You never will. But he’s gone, Jess.” Emma said softly, her eyes bright with tears. “I know that Frank wouldn’t have wanted you to grieve forever. He wanted you to be happy." She looked pointedly at Jess’s gently rounded belly. “You’ve got the baby now. And Dan. It’s a new life. It’s different than the one you might have planned, but it’s a good one.”