John _of_ Lorraine _heard one knocke at his doore in the night time,whereuppon he awaked his Wife_ Monna Tessa. _She made him beleeve, thatit was a Spirit which knocked at the doore, and so they arose, goingboth together to conjure the Spirit with a prayer; and afterwardes,they heard no more knocking._
The First Novell.
_Reprehending the simplicity of some sottish Husbands: And discoveringthe wanton subtilties of some women, to compasse their unlawfulldesires._
My Gracious Lord (quoth Madame _?millia_) it had bene a matter highlypleasing to mee, that any other (rather than my selfe) should havebegun to speake of this argument, which it hath pleased you to apoint.But seeing it is your Highnesse pleasure, that I must make a passage ofassurance for all the rest; I will not be irregular, because obedienceis our cheefe Article. I shall therefore (Gracious Ladies) strive,to speake something, which may bee advantageable to you heereafter,in regard, that if other women bee as fearfull as we, especially ofSpirits, of which all our sexe have generally bin timorous (although,upon my credite, I know not what they are, nor ever could meete withany, to tell me what they be) you may by the diligent observation ofmy Novell: learne a wholesome and holy prayer, very availeable, and ofprecious power, to conjure and drive them away, whensoever they shallpresume to assault you in any place.
There dwelt sometime in _Florence_, and in the street of Saint_Brancazio_, a woollen Weaver, named _John_ of _Lorrayne_; a manmore happy in his Art, then wise in any thing else beside: because,favouring somewhat of the _Gregorie_, and (in very deede) little lessethen an Ideot; Hee was many times made Captain of the Woollen-Weavers,in the quarters belonging to _Santa Maria Novella_, and his house wasthe Schoole or receptacle, for all their meetings and assemblies. Hehad divers other petty Offices beside, by the dignity and authoritywhereof, hee supposed himselfe much exalted or elevated, above thecommon pitch of other men. And this humour became the more tractableto him, because he addicted himselfe oftentimes (as being a man of aneasie inclination) to be a benefactor to the holy Fathers of _SantaMaria Novella_, giving (beside his other charitable Almes) to someonea paire of Breeches, to another a Hood, and to another a whole habit.In reward whereof, they taught him (by heart) many wholesome prayers, asthe _Pater noster_ in the vulgar tongue; the Song of Saint _Alexis_;the Lamentations of Saint _Bernard_, the Hymne of Madame _Matilda_,and many other such like matters, which he kept charily, and repeatedusually, as tending to the salvation of his soule.
This man, had a very faire and lovely wife, named _Monna Tessa_, thedaughter of _Manuccio della Cuculia_, wise and well advised; whoknowing the simplicity of her Husband, and affecting _Frederigo diNeri Pegolotti_, who was a comely yong Gentleman, fresh, and in thefloure of his time, even as she was, therefore they agreed the bettertogether. By meanes of her Chamber-maid, _Frederigo_ and shee met oftentogether, at a Countrie Farme of _John_ of _Lorraynes_, which hee hadneere to _Florence_, and where she used to lodge all the Summer time,called _Camerata_, whether _John_ resorted somtimes to Supper, andlodge for a night, returning home againe to his City house the nextmorning; yet often he would stay there longer with his owne companions.
_Frederigo_, who was no meane man in his Mistresses favor, andtherefore these private meetings the more welcome to him; received asummons or assignation from her, to be there on such a night, when hirhusband had no intent of comming thither. There they supped merrilytogether, and (no doubt) did other things, nothing appertaining toour purpose, she both acquainting, and well instructing him, in adozen (at the least) of her Husbands devout prayers. Nor did sheemake any account, or _Frederigo_ either, that this should be the lasttime of their meeting, because (indeede) it was not the first: andtherefore they set down an order and conclusion together (because theChambermaide must be no longer the messenger) in such manner as youshall heare.
_Frederigo_ was to observe especially, that alwayes when hee wentor came from his owne house, which stood much higher then _John_ of_Lorraynes_ did, to looke upon a Vine, closely adjoyning to her house,where stood the scull of an Asses head, advanced upon an high pole; &when the face thereof looked towards _Florence_, he might safely come,it being an assured signe, that _John_ kept at home. And if he foundthe doore fast shut, he should softly knocke three severall times, andthereon bee admitted entrance. But if the face stood towards _Fiesola_;then he might not come, for it was the signe of _Johns_ being there,and then there might be no medling at all.
Having thus agreed upon this conclusion, and had many merry meetingstogether: one night above the rest, where _Frederigo_ was appointed tosuppe with _Monna Tessa_, who had made ready two fat Capons, drest inmost dainty and delicate manner: it fell out so unfortunately, that_John_ (whose Kue was not to come that night) came thithervery late, yet before _Frederigo_, wherewith she being not a littleoffended, gave _John_ a slight supper, of Lard, Bacon, and such likecoarse provision, because the other was kept for a better guest. Inthe meane time, and while _John_ was at supper, the Maide (by herMistresses direction) had conveighed the two Capons, with boyled Egges,Bread and a Bottle of Wine (all folded up in a faire cleane tablecloth) into her Garden, that had a passage to it, without entering intothe house, and where shee had divers times supt with _Frederigo_. Shefurther willed the Maide, to set all those things under a Peach-tree,which adjoyned to the fields side: but, so angry she was at herhusbands unexpected comming, that shee forgot to bid her tarrie there,till _Frederigoes_ comming; and to tell him of _Johns_ being there: asalso, to take what he found prepared readie for his Supper.
_John_ and she being gone to bed together, and the Maide likewise, itwas not long after, before _Frederigo_ came, and knocking once softlyat the doore, which was very neere to their lodging Chamber, _John_heard the noise, and so did his wife. But to the end, that _John_might not have the least scruple of suspition, she seemed to be fastasleepe; and _Frederigo_ pausing a while, according to the orderdirected, knockt againe the second time. _John_ wondering thereat verymuch, jogd his wife a little, and saide to her: _Tessa_, hearest thounothing? Me thinkes one knocketh at our doore. _Monna Tessa_, who wasbetter acquainted with the knocke, then plaine honest meaning _John_was, dissembling as if shee awaked out of a drowsie dreame, saide:Alas Husband, dost thou know what this is? In the name of our blessedLadie, be not affraid, this is but the Spirit which haunts our Countreyhouses, whereof I have often told thee, and it hath many times muchdismayed me, living heere alone without thy comfort. Nay, such hath binmy feare, that in divers nights past, so soone as I heard the knockes:I was feigne to hide my selfe in the bedde over-head and eares (as weusually say) never daring to be so bold, as to looke out, untill itwas broad open day. Arise good wife (quoth _John_) and if it be sucha Spirit of the Countrey, as thou talkest of, never be affraid; forbefore we went to bed, I said the _Telucis_, the _Intemerata_, withmany other good prayers beside. Moreover, I made the signe of theCrosse at every corner of our bed, in the name of the Father, Son, andholy Ghost, so that no doubt at all needs to be made, of any power itcan have to hurt or touch us.
_Monna Tessa_, because (perhaps) _Frederigo_ might receive some othersuspition, and so enter into distaste of her by anger or offence:determined to arise indeede, and to let him covertly understand, that_John_ was there, and therefore saide to her husband. Beleeve me_John_, thy counsell is good, and every one of thy words hath wisedomein it: but I hold it best for our owne safety, thou being heere; thatwee should conjure him quite away, to the end he may never more hauntour house. Conjure him Wife? Quoth _John_, By what meanes? and how?Bee patient good man (quoth _Tessa_) and I will enstruct thee. I havelearned an excellent kinde of conjuration; for, the last weeke, whenI went to procure the pardons at _Fiesola_, one of the holy recluseNuns, who (indeede _John_) is my indeered Sister and Friend, and themost sanctimonius in life of them all; perceiving me to be troubledand terrified by Spirits; taught me a wholesome and holy prayer, andprotested withall, that shee had often made experiment thereof, beforeshe became a Recluse, & found it (alwayes) a present helpe to her.Yet never dur
st I adventure to essay it, living heere by my selfe allalone: but honest _John_, seeing thou art heere with me, we will goboth together, and conjure this Spirit. _John_ replyed, that he wasvery willing; and being both up, they went fayre and softly to thedoore, where _Frederigo_ stoode still without, and was growne somewhatsuspitious of his long attendance.
When they were come to the doore, _Monna Tessa_ said to _John_: Thoumust cough and spet, at such time as I shall bid thee. Well (quoth_John_) I will not faile you. Immediately she beganne her prayer inthis manner.
_Spirit, that walkst thus in the night, Poore Countrey people to affright: Thou hast mistane thy marke and ayme, The head stood right, but_ John _home came, And therefore thou must packe away, For I have nothing else to say: But to my Garden get the gone, Under the Peach-tree stands alone, There shalt thou finde two Capons drest, And Egges laide in mine owne Hennes nest, Bread, and a Bottle of good wine, All wrapt up in a cloath most fine. Is not this good Goblins fare? Packe and say you have your share; Not doing harme to_ John _or me, Who this night keepes me companie._
No sooner had she ended her devoute conjuring prayer, but she saideto her husband: Now _John_, cough and spet: which _John_ accordinglydid. And _Frederigo_, being all this while without, hearing her wittyconjuration of a Spirit, which he himselfe was supposed to be, beingridde of his former jealous suspition: in the middst of all hismelancholy, could very hardly refraine from laughing, the jest appearedso pleasing to him: But when _John_ cought and spet, softly he said tohimselfe: When next thou spetst, spet out all thy teeth.
The woman having three severall times conjured the Spirite, in suchmanner you have already heard; returned to bed againe with herhusband: and _Frederigo_, who came as perswaded to sup with her, beingsupperlesse all this while; directed by the words of _Monna Tessa_ inhir praier, went into the Garden. At the foot of the Peach-tree, therehe found the linnen cloth, with the two hot Capons, Bread, Egges, and aBottle of Wine in it, all which he carried away with him, and went toSupper at better leysure. Oftentimes afterward, upon other meetings of_Frederigo_ and she together, they laughed heartily at her enchantment,and the honest beleefe of silly _John_.
I cannot deny, but that some do affirme, that the Woman had turnedthe face of the Asses head towards _Fiesola_, and a Country Travailerpassing by the Vine, having a long piked staffe on his necke; thestaffe, (by chance) touched the head, and made it turne diverstimes about, & in the end faced _Florence_, which being the cal for_Frederigoes_ comming, by this meanes he was disappointed. In likemanner some say, that _Monna Tessaes_ prayer for conjuring the Spirit,was in this order.
_Spirit, Spirit, go thy way, And come againe some other day, It was not I that turnd the head, But some other. In our Bed Are John and I: Go from our dore, And see thou trouble us no more._
So that _Frederigo_ departed thence, both with the losse of his labour& supper. But a neighbour of mine, who is a woman of good yeares, toldme, that both the one and other were true, as she her selfe heard, whenshe was a little Girle. And concerning the latter accident, it wasnot to _John_ of _Lorrayne_, but to another, named _John de Nello_,that dwelt at S. _Peters_ Gate, and of the same profession as _John_of _Lorrayne_ was. Wherefore (faire Ladies) it remaineth in your ownechoice, to entertain which of the two prayers you please, or bothtogether if you will: for they are of extraordinary vertue in suchstrange occurrences, as you have heeretofore heard, and (upon doubt)may prove by experience. It shall not therefore be amisse for you, tolearne them both by hart, for (peradventure) they may stand you in goodsted, if ever you chance to have the like occasion.