Read The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10) Page 17


  Tofano _in the night season, did locke his wife out of his house, andshee not prevailing to get entrance againe, by all the entreaties shecould possiblie use: made him beleeve that she had throwne her selfeinto a Well, by casting a great stone into the same Well_. Tofano_hearing the fall of the stone into the Well, and being perswaded thatit was his Wife indeed; came forth of his house, and ran to the Wellesside. In the meane while, his wife gotte into the house, made fast thedoore against her Husband, and gave him many reproachfull speeches._

  The Fourth Novell.

  _Wherein is manifested, that the malice and subtilty of a Woman,surpasseth all the Art or Wit in man._

  So soone as the King perceyved, that the Novell reported by Madame_Eliza_ was finished: hee turned himselfe to Madame _Lauretta_, andtold her it was his pleasure, that she should now begin the next,whereto she yeelded in this manner. O Love: What, and how many are thyprevailing forces? How straunge are thy foresights? And how admirablethine attempts? Where is, or ever was the Philosopher or Artist, thatcould enstruct the wiles, escapes, preventions, and demonstrations,which sodainly thou teachest such, as are thy apt and understandingSchollers indeede? Certaine it is, that the documents and eruditions ofall other whatsoever, are weak, or of no worth, in respect of thine: ashath notably appeared, by the remonstrances already past, and whereto(worthy Ladies) I will adde another of a simple woman, who taught herhusband such a lesson, as shee never learned of any, but Love himselfe.

  There dwelt sometime in _Arezzo_ (which is a faire Village of_Tuscany_) a rich man, named _Tofano_, who enjoyed in marriage a youngbeautifull woman, called _Cheta_: of whom (without any occasion given,or reason knowne to himselfe) he became exceeding jealous. Which hiswife perceyving, she grew much offended thereat, and tooke it in greatscorne, that she should be servile to so vile and slavish a condition.Oftentimes, she demanded of him, from whence this jealousie in himreceived originall, he having never seene or heard of any; he couldmake her no other answer, but what his owne bad humour suggested, anddrove him every day (almost) to deaths doore, by feare of that which noway needed. But, whether as a just scourge for this his grosse folly,or a secret decree, ordained to him by Fortune and the Fates, I am notable to distinguish: It came so to passe, that a young Gallant mademeanes to enjoy her favour, and she was so discreetly wise in judgingof his worthinesse; that affection passed so farre mutually betweenethem, as nothing wanted, but effects to answere words, suited with timeand place convenient, for which order was taken as best they might, yetto stand free from all suspition.

  Among many other evill conditions, very frequent and familiar in herhusband _Tofano_; he tooke a great delight in drinking, which notonly he held to be a commendable quality, but was alwaies so oftensolicited thereto: that _Cheta_ her selfe began to like and allow itin him, feeding his humour so effectually, with quaffing and carowsing,that (at any time when she listed) she could make him bowsie beyondeall measure: and leaving him sleeping in this drunkennesse, wouldalwayes get her selfe to bed. By helpe heereof, she compassed the firstfamiliarity with her friend, yea, divers times after, as occasionserved: and so confidently did she builde on her husbands drunkennesse,that not onely shee adventured to bring her friend home into her ownehouse; but also would as often go to his, which was some-what neere athand, and abide with him there, the most part of the night season.

  While _Cheta_ thus continued on these amorous courses, it fortuned,that her slye suspitious husband, beganne to perceive, that though sheedrunke very much with him, yea, untill he was quite spent and gone:yet she remained fresh and sober still, and thereby imagined strangematters, that he being fast asleepe, his wife then tooke advantage ofhis drowsinesse, and might ---- and so forth. Beeing desirous to makeexperience of this his distrust, hee returned home at night (not havingdrunke any thing all the whole day) dissembling both by his words andbehaviour, as if he were notoriously drunke indeede. Which his Wifeconstantly beleeving, saide to her selfe: That hee had now more needeof sleepe, then drinke; getting him immediately into his warme bed; andthen going downe the staires againe, softly went out of doores unto herFriends house, as formerly she had used to do, and there shee remaineduntill midnight.

  _Tofano_ perceiving that his Wife came not to bed, and imagining tohave heard his doore both open and shut: arose out of his bed, andcalling his Wife _Cheta_ divers times, without any answere returned:hee went downe the staires, and finding the doore but closed too, madeit fast and sure on the inside, and then got him up to the window, towatch the returning home of his wife, from whence shee came, and thento make her conditions apparantly knowne. So long there he stayed,till at the last she returned indeede, and finding the doore so surelyshut, shee was exceeding sorrowfull, essaying how she might get itopen by strength: which when _Tofano_ had long suffered her in vaineto approove, thus hee spake to her. _Cheta, Cheta,_ all thy labour ismeerely lost, because heere is no entrance allowed for thee; thereforereturn to the place from whence thou camest, that all thy friends mayjudge of thy behaviour, and know what a night-walker thou art become.

  The woman hearing this unpleasing language, began to use all humbleentreaties, desiring him (for charities sake) to open the doore andadmit her entrance, because she had not bin in any such place, as hisjelous suspition might suggest to him: but onely to visit a weak &sickly neighbour, the nights being long, she not (as yet) capable ofsleepe, nor willing to sit alone in the house. But all her perswasionsserved to no purpose, he was so setled in his owne opinion, that allthe Town should now see her nightly gading, which before was notso much as suspected. _Cheta_ seeing, that faire meanes would notprevaile, shee entred into roughe speeches and threatnings, saying: Ifthou wilt not open the doore and let me come in, I will so shame thee,as never base man was. As how I pray thee? answered _Tofano_, whatcanst thou do to me?

  The woman, whom love had inspired with sprightly counsell, ingeniouslyenstructing her what to do in this distresse, stearnly thus replyed.Before I will suffer any such shame as thou intended towards mee,I will drowne my selfe heere in this Well before our doore, wherebeing found dead, and thy villanous jealousie so apparantly knowne,beside thy more then beastly drunkennesse: all the neighbours willconstantly beleeve, that thou didst first strangle me in the house,and afterwardes threw me into this Well. So either thou must flie uponthe supposed offence, or lose all thy goodes by banishment, or (whichis much more fitting for thee) have thy head smitten off as a wilfullmurtherer of thy wife; for all will judge it to be no otherwise.All which wordes, mooved not _Tofano_ a jot from his obstinatdetermination: but he still persisting therein, thus she spake. Ineither can nor will longer endure this base Villanie of thine: to themercy of heaven I commit my soul, and stand there my wheele, a witnesseagainst so hard-hearted a murtherer.

  No sooner had she thus spoke, but the night being so extreamly dark,as they could not discerne one another; Cheta went to the Well, wherefinding a verie great stone, which lay loose upon the brim of the Well,even as if it had beene layde there on purpose, shee cried out aloud,saying. Forgive me faire heavens, and so threw the stone downe into theWell. The night being very still & silent, the fall of the great stonemade such a dreadfull noise in the Well; that he hearing it at theWindowe, thought verily she had drowned her selfe indeede. Whereupon,running downe hastily, and taking a Bucket fastened to a strong Cord:he left the doore wide open, intending speedily to helpe her. But shestanding close at the doores entrance, before he could get to the Welsside; she was within the house, softly made the doore fast on theinside, and then went up to the Window, where _Tofano_ before had stoodtalking to her.

  While he was thus dragging with his Bucket in the Well, crying andcalling _Cheta_, take hold good _Cheta_, and save thy life: she stoodlaughing in the Window, saying. Water should bee put into Wine before aman drinkes it, and not when he hath drunke too much already. _Tofano_hearing his Wife thus to flout him out of his Window, went back to thedoore, and finding it made fast against him: he willed hir to grant himentrance. But she, forgetting all gentle Lan
guage, which formerly shehad used to him: in meere mockery and derision (yet intermixed withsome sighes and teares, which women are saide to have at command) outaloud (because the Neighbours should heare her) thus she replyed.

  Beastly drunken Knave as thou art, this night thou shalt not comewithin these doores, I am no longer able to endure thy base behaviour,it is more then high time, that thy course of life should beepubliquely known, and at what drunken houres thou returnest home to thyhouse. _Tofano_, being a man of very impatient Nature, was as bitterunto her in words on the other side, which the Neighbours about them(both men and Women) hearing; looked forth of their Windowes, anddemaunding a reason for this their disquietnesse, _Cheta_ (seeming asif she wept) sayde.

  Alas my good Neighbours, you see at what unfitting houres, this badman comes home to his house, after hee hath lyen in a Taverne allday drunke, sleeping and snorting like a Swine. You are my honestwitnesses, how long I have suffered this beastlinesse in him, yetneyther your good counsell, nor my too often loving admonitions, canworke that good which wee have expected. Wherefore, to try if shame canprocure any amendment, I have shut him out of doores, until his drunkenfit be over-past, and so he shall stand to coole his feet.

  _Tofano_ (but in very uncivill manner) told her being abroad that night,and how she had used him: But the Neighbours seeing her to be withinthe house, and beleeving her, rather then him, in regard of his toowellknowne ill qualities; very sharpely reproved him, gave him grossespeeches, pittying that any honest Woman should be so continuallyabused. Now my good Neighbours (quoth she) you see what manner of manhe is. What would you thinke of me, if I should walk the streets thusin the night time, or be so late out of mine owne house, as this daylyDrunkard is? I was affraid least you would have given credit to hisdissembling speeches, when he told you, that I was at the Welles side,and threw something into the Well: but that I know your better opinionof me, and how sildome I am to be seene out of doores, although hewould induce your sharper judgement of me, and lay that shame upon me,wherein he hath sinned himselfe.

  The Neighbours, both men and Women, were all very severely incensedagainst _Tofano_, condemning him for his great fault that nightcommitted, and avouching his wife to be vertuous and honest. Within alittle while, the noise passing from Neighbour to Neighbour, at thelength it came to the eares of her Kindred, who forthwith resortedthither, and hearing how sharpely the Neighbours reprehended _Tofano_:they tooke him, soundly bastanadoed him, and hardly left any boneof him unbruised. Afterward, they went into the house, tooke allsuch things thence as belonged to hir, taking hir also with them totheir dwelling, and threatning _Tofano_ with further infliction ofpunishment, both for his drunkennesse, and causlesse jealousie.

  _Tofano_ perceyving how curstly they had handled him, and what crookedmeanes might further be used against him, in regard her Kindred &Friends were very mightie: thought it much better, patiently to sufferthe wrong alreadie done him, then by obstinate contending, to proceedfurther, and fare worse. He became a suter to her Kindred, that almight be forgotten and forgiven, in recompence whereof; he would notonely refraine from drunkennesse, but also, never more be jelous ofhis wife. This being faithfully promised, and _Cheta_ reconciled toher Husband, all strife was ended, she enjoyed her friends favour, asoccasion served, but yet with such discretion, as it was not noted.Thus the Coxcombe foole, was faine to purchase his peace, after anotorious wrong sustained, and further injuries to bee offered.