Blondello _(in a merry manner) caused_ Guiotto _to beguile himselfe of agood dinner: for which deceit,_ Guiotto _became cunningly revenged, byprocuring_ Blondello _to be unreasonably beaten and misused._
The Eight Novell.
_Whereby plainly appeareth, that they which take delight in deceivingothers, do well deserve to be deceived themselves._
It was a generall opinion in the whole Joviall Companie, thatwhatsoever _Talano_ saw in his sleepe, was not anie dreame, but rathera vision: considring, every part thereof fell out so directly, withoutthe lest failing. But when silence was enjoyned, then the Queene gaveforth by evident demonstration, that Madam _Lauretta_ was next tosucceed, whereupon she thus began. As all they (judicious hearers)which have this day spoken before me, derived the ground or projectof their Novels, from some other argument spoken of before: even so,the cruell revendge of the Scholler, yesterday discoursed at large byMadame _Pampinea_, maketh me to remember another Tale of like nature,some-what greevous to the sufferer, yet not in such cruell measureinflicted, as that on Madam _Helena_.
There dwelt sometime in _Florence_, one who was generally calledby the name of _Guiotto_, a man being the greatest Gourmand, andgrossest feeder, as ever was seene in any Countrey, all his meanes &procurements meerly unable to maintaine expences for filling his belly.But otherwise he was of sufficient and commendable carriage, fairelydemeaned, and well discoursing on any argument: yet, not as a curiousand spruce Courtier, but rather a frequenter of rich mens Tables,where choice of good cheere is sildome wanting, & such should have hiscompany, albeit not invited, yet (like a bold intruder) he had thecourage to bid himselfe welcome.
At the same time, and in our City of _Florence_ also, there was anotherman, named _Blondello_, very low of stature; yet comly formed, quickewitted, more neat and brisk then a Butter flye, alwaies wearing awrought silke cap on his head, and not a haire staring out of order,but the tuft flourishing above the forehead, and he such anothertrencher-fly for the table, as our forenamed _Guiotto_ was. It so felout on a morning in the Lent time, that hee went into the Fish-market,where he bought two goodly Lampreyes, for _Messer Viero de Cherchi_,and was espied by _Guiotto_, who (comming to _Blondello_) said. What isthe meaning of this cost, and for whom is it? Whereto _Blondello_ thusanswered. Yesternight, three other Lampries, far fairer and fatter thenthese, and a whole Sturgeon, were sent unto _Messer Corso Donati_, andbeing not sufficient to feede divers Gentlemen, whom hee hath invitedthis day to dine with him, hee caused me to buy these two beside: Doestnot thou intend to make one among them? Yes I warrant thee, replied_Guiotto_, thou knowst I can invite my selfe thither, without any otherbidding.
So parting; about the houre of dinner time, _Guiotto_ went to thehouse of the saide _Messer Corso_, whom he found sitting and talkingwith certain of his neighbours, but dinner was not (as yet) ready,neither were they come thither to dinner. _Messer Corso_ demaunded of_Guiotto_, what newes with him, and whither he went? Why Sir (said_Guiotto_) I come to dine with you, and your good company. Whereto_Messer Corso_ answered, That he was welcome, & his other friends beinggone, dinner was served in, none els thereat present but _Messer Corso_and _Guiotto_: al the diet being a poore dish of Pease, a little pieceof Tunny, & a few small dishes fried, without any other dishes tofollow after. _Guiotto_ seeing no better fare, but being disapointedof his expectation, as longing to feed on the Lampries and Sturgeon,and so to have made a full dinner indeed: was of a quick apprehension,& apparantly perceived, that _Blondello_ had meerly guld him in aknavery, which did not a little vex him, and made him vow to be revengedon _Blondello_, as he could compasse occasion afterward.
Before many daies were past, it was his fortune to meete with_Blondello_, who having told this jest to divers of his friends, andmuch good merriment made thereat: he saluted _Guiotto_ in ceremoniousmanner, saying. How didst thou like the fat Lampreyes and Sturgeon,which thou fedst on at the house of _Messer Corso Donati_? Wel Sir(answered _Guiotto_) perhaps before eight dayes passe over my head,thou shalt meet with as pleasing a dinner as I did. So, parting awayfrom _Blondello_, he met with a Porter or burthen-bearer, such as areusually sent on errands; and hyring him to deliver a message for him,gave him a glasse bottle, and bringing him neere to the Hal-house of_Cavicciuli_, shewed him there a knight, called _Signior PhillippoArgenti_, a man of huge stature, stout, strong, vainglorious, fierceand sooner mooved to anger then any other man. To him (quoth _Guiotto_)thou must go with this bottle in thy hand, and say thus to him. Sir,_Blondello_ sent me to you, and courteously entreateth you, that youwould enrubinate this glasse bottle with your best Claret Wine; becausehe would make merry with a few friends of his. But beware he lay nohand on thee, because he may bee easily induced to misuse thee, and somy businesse be disappointed. Well Sir replied the Porter, shall I sayany thing else unto him? No (quoth _Guiotto_) only go and deliver thismessage, and when thou art returned, Ile pay thee for thy paines.
The Porter being gone to the house, delivered his message to theknight, who being a man of no great civill breeding, but furious,rash, and inconsiderate: presently conceived, that _Blondello_ (whomhe knew well enough) sent this message in meere mockage of him, andstarting up with fiery lookes, said: What enrubination of Claretshould I send him? and what have I to do with him, or his drunkenfriends? Let him and thee go hang your selves together. So he stept tocatch hold on the Porter, but he (being well warnd before) was quickeand nimble, and escaping from him, returned backe to _Guiotto_ (whoobserved all) and told him the answer of Signior _Phillippo. Guiotto_not a little contented, paied the Porter, and taried not in any placetill he met with _Blondello_, to whom he said. When wast thou at theHall of _Cavicciuli_? Not a long while, answerd _Blondello_, but whydost thou demand such a question? Because (quoth _Guiotto_) Signior_Phillippo_ hath sought about for thee, yet knowe not I what he wouldhave with thee. Is it so? replied _Blondello_, then I will walke thitherpresently, to understand his pleasure.
When _Blondello_ was thus parted from him, _Guiotto_ folowed notfarre off behind him, to behold the issue of this angry businesse;and Signior _Phillippo_, because he could not catch the Porter,continued much distempred, fretting and fuming, in regard he could notcomprehend the meaning of the Porters message: but onely surmized, that_Blondello_ (by the procurement of some body else) had done this inscorne of him. While he remained thus deeply discontented, he espied_Blondello_ comming towards him, and meeting him by the way, he steptclose to him, and gave him a cruell blow on the face, causing his noseto fall out a bleeding. Alas Sir, said _Blondello_, wherefore do youstrike me? Signior _Phillippo_, catching him by the haire of the head,trampled his wrought night-cap in the dirt, & his cloke also; when,laying many violent blowes on him, he said. Villanous Traitor as thouart, Ile teach thee what it is to enrubinate with Claret, either thyselfe, or any of thy cupping companions: Am I a child, to be jestedwithall?
Nor was he more furious in words, then in strokes also, beating himabout the face, hardly leaving any haire on his head, and dragging himalong in the mire, spoyling all his garments, and he not able (fromthe first blow given) to speake a word in defence of himselfe. In theend, Signior _Phillippo_ having extreamly beaten him, and many peoplegathering about them, to succour a man so much misused, the matter wasat large related, and manner of the message sending. For which, theyall present, did greatly reprehend _Blondello_, considering he knewwhat kinde of man _Phillippo_ was, not any way to be jested withall._Blondello_ in teares constantly maintained, that he never sent anysuch message for wine, or intended it in the least degree: so, when thetempest was more mildly calmed, and _Blondello_ (thus cruelly beatenand durtied) had gotten home to his owne house, he could then remember,that (questionles) this was occasioned by _Guiotto_.
After some few dayes were passed over, and the hurts in his faceindifferently cured; _Blondello_ beginning to walke abroade againe,chanced to meet with _Guiotto_: who laughing heartily at him, sayde.Tell me _Blondello_, how doost thou like the enrubinating Clarret ofSignior _Phillippo_? As well (quoth _
Blondello_) as thou didst theSturgeon and Lampreyes at _Messer Corso Donaties_. Why then (sayde_Guiotto_) let these two tokens continue familiar betweene thee andme, when thou wouldst bestow such another dinner on mee, then will Ienrubinate thy nose with a bottle of the same Claret. But _Blondello_perceived (to his cost) that hee had met with the worser bargaine,and _Guiotto_ got cheare, without any blowes: and therefore desireda peacefull attonement, each of them (alwayes after) abstaining fromflouting one another.