PART 3 - RESURRECTION
Day 48 – Wednesday “Experiencing Changes”
Diary,
I wish you could see the place we are right now. It’s beautiful!
Something awful happened in my house this morning.
My mother was trying to call me for a couple of days, but my cellphone was turned off the whole time, so she went to my house to check up on me.
I didn’t know she had an extra copy of my house key.
Upon getting in, she saw me sleeping on the couch with a bottle of wine by my side.
She got desperate. She didn’t expect to find me there by that time because I should be at work.
Before I proceed, let me give you a brief scenario.
There were a bunch of scattered empty bottles everywhere, the walls were all covered with drawings and quotations, and everything was very messed up. Not to mention my broken TV in the middle of my living room surrounded by its shards.
So then, she woke me up and gave me the biggest disapproving look I have ever gotten in my life; that made me burn to the bones.
She stared at me for a while, and then she started to cry and say that I needed help.
She definitely didn’t know what to do and vanished.
Afraid of having her back with more people, I suddenly decided to leave.
I still need some time alone before I get back to reality.
I put a few clothes and food into a big backpack and got a small camping tent.
After that, I went to a bus station and bought a ticket for a nearby town, to which I have never gone before. After getting there, I hit the road by foot, towards the unknown.
I will be fine. I have a lot of food inside my backpack and still have money.
I also should not worry about money, since I’m still receiving it from my Social Security unemployment plan.
Before it was dark, I put up my tent a little bit away from the road, so whoever passes by here won’t see me.
The sky is looking gorgeous; with many stars spread-out and no sight of clouds.
I guess tomorrow will be a hot day.
I’m feeling like I’m the son of the universe and I know it’s looking over me now. I can feel it.
I have a declaration to myself,
I admire me;
I want to be my follower;
Be my own fortress; my own shelter.
I want to make me rest.
I want to run after my dreams.
I want to bet on my decisions;
Heal my wounds;
Forgive my insensibility;
Close my eyes and recover my breath.
I’m so tired; I’m sober; I’m lucid; I’m about to go; I’m about to vanish.
I don’t want to leave footprints behind.
Let me fly.
Let me be myself.
See you tomorrow, my dear friend Diary.
Day 49 – Thursday “A Breeze Of Rest”
Hi my friend Diary,
As I expected, the weather was very hot.
I have walked a lot, but didn’t get into any town yet.
I have been thinking and I’m a little bit afraid of not having enough drinking water, but it’s ok. I still can count on hitchhiking, even if I have to pay for it.
I also can try to take a bus.
There are no problems.
I’m camping close to the road again, but there’s a grassy clearing here. People must have camped here already; maybe hippies, or hikers, or people who carry a diary with them.
The sky is getting dark. It’s probably going to rain.
It has been a few years since I took my last shower of rain.
My inspiration now blends with the air; my backyard is limitless and my companions are cars, motorcycles, and trucks.
I’m focused on nowhere. I’m just stalking the wind.
The air here is so good that I forgot I’m a smoker, and threw all my cigarette packs away.
My journey is for purification.
See you tomorrow, my dear friend Diary.
Day 50 – Friday “When Did Life Become So Tranquil?”
Hi Diary,
I have gotten to a town today.
It was a relief for me because my drinking water was getting low.
I was caught by a pleasant soft rain that was getting stronger as I was entering the town.
As soon as I got here, I found a cheap small motel and decided to ask for a room.
The bed smells like mold and there are a few stains on the walls. Everything looks old.
I also found some weird hair strands throughout the mattress. I hope it’s not pubic hair.
I’d better not think about this.
By this moment, I’m at war with hundreds of mosquitoes that are trying to take a taste of my blood. I probably have already killed about 30, but they called back up.
This is what is keeping me entertained.
Let me tell you a little bit about this town. It’s a very small town with humble people, and there’s a really beautiful water fountain in the center that made me wish to swim in it.
That is all for now. I have a lot to do tomorrow.
Day 51 – Saturday “Trapped”
Hi Diary,
It rained a lot during the whole day, yet it was very sunny.
I went to the streets this evening to take my well-deserved shower of rain.
I could see a very smooth rainbow on the mountains.
Everything was so fantastic, as it was all made for me.
The rain is almost gone already, and by tomorrow I will be ready to go.
Until then, I will still have to share my room with mosquitoes and pubic hairs.
Anyway, at least I can take a good shower.
Day 52 – Sunday “Hitting The News”
Diary!
A few crazy things happened.
First, I was about to get out of town, but I got caught by some cops because I was listed as missing by my family.
I was shocked, but then, I remembered I had left without telling anyone. My mother probably thought I had killed myself after having seen me in that past condition.
It was so hard to convince them that I wasn’t crazy and that it was just a little adventure I was experiencing (that is how I put it for them).
I had to call my mother from the police station and tell her I was fine, and that pretty soon I would be back to my routine.
She was in panic at the beginning, but she agreed with me after noticing that she couldn’t do anything about it.
When I got out of the building, I met a local TV news staff that was waiting for me outside to interview me.
I tried to be as wide as possible with my answers and finished saying that I was taking a vacation after having contributed to society all these past years.
Once everything was finished, I went to the road again.
It’s already night now and I’m outside of my tent.
The wind feels slimy. It feels like it’s making me wet as it hits me.
I’d better get into the tent and get some sleep.
Tomorrow awaits me.
Good night.
Day 53 – Monday “A Follower”
Hi Diary.
This morning, while I was walking on the road, a car stopped by my side. The driver was Jonathan.
He saw me on the news and decided to look for me.
Well, he found me.
He asked me if he could join me, and even though I haven’t liked the idea at all, as I’m not a bearer of truth to have followers, I said that there was no problem.
I got into his car and we headed to his house.
He told me a little bit about his life on the way.
He works in a restaurant as a waiter and lives alone. His parents are already dead and he doesn’t have any family member living nearby.
His father lived with him in that house for 19 years; and left the house, the car, and a good amount of money as inheritance after his death.
Jonathan has never u
sed the money, even in order to make his life less miserable.
As he said, he feels bad about spending money that was given to him due his father’s death. He would rather spend that money on something that would make him feel close to his father again; and that is why he decided to join me; to feel his father looking after him again.
We got ready and went back to the road on foot.
I also told him about my life while we were walking.
He’s in his tent now. I guess he’s sleeping.
Honestly, I’m not comfortable with the idea of having someone with me on this journey, so I will wake up at very early tomorrow and will go on alone before he’s awake.
Day 54 – Tuesday “A Poem Of Longing”
Hi Diary,
I woke up very early, but to my frustration, Jonathan already was awake. He was standing outside his tent staring at the horizon.
We gathered our belongings and departed.
While walking, we talked a lot. He’s actually a very interesting person. He has overcome many problems in his life.
I’m kind of getting used to Jonathan’s company.
After walking and talking for the entire day, we put up the tents.
There were no hidden spots this time, so we had to stay in a place that is very visible from the road. I hope nobody bothers us.
The sky has gotten very dark and it seems like a storm is coming. I have a bad feeling about it.
Jonathan is in his tent. He is probably sleeping already because today was exhausting.
I’m seeing him a little bit as a brother now. I won’t try to go on without him anymore.
He also makes me not miss the people I know so much.
How I miss;
I miss the child who already ran using my body.
I miss places which I will never see.
I even miss my immortality, which I still have.
I miss my past, my present, and future;
Future that will be; that could be.
I miss having my feelings.
I miss several past cigarettes.
I miss every single shard of world.
If I could, I would carry on all things I miss with me, but I don’t have enough life for that.
Such a longing;
Longing for smells.
Such a great longing!
Longing for whom I will become one