seems, was but a little after Icame away.
We lived in the same house all this while, and as we lodged not far offof one another, opportunities were not wanting of as near anacquaintance as we might desire; nor have such opportunities the leastagency in vicious minds to bring to pass even what they might not intendat first.
However, though he courted so much at a distance, yet his pretensionswere very honourable; and as I had before found him a mostdisinterested friend, and perfectly honest in his dealings, even when Itrusted him with all I had, so now I found him strictly virtuous, till Imade him otherwise myself, even almost whether he would or no, as youshall hear.
It was not long after our former discourse, when he repeated what he hadinsinuated before, namely, that he had yet a design to lay before me,which, if I would agree to his proposals, would more than balance allaccounts between us. I told him I could not reasonably deny himanything; and except one thing, which I hoped and believed he would notthink of, I should think myself very ungrateful if I did not doeverything for him that lay in my power.
He told me what he should desire of me would be fully in my power togrant, or else he should be very unfriendly to offer it; and still allthis while he declined making the proposal, as he called it, and so forthat time we ended our discourse, turning it off to other things. Sothat, in short, I began to think he might have met with some disaster inhis business, and might have come away from Paris in some discredit, orhad had some blow on his affairs in general; and as really I hadkindness enough to have parted with a good sum to have helped him, andwas in gratitude bound to have done so, he having so effectually savedto me all I had, so I resolved to make him the offer the first time Ihad an opportunity, which two or three days after offered itself, verymuch to my satisfaction.
He had told me at large, though on several occasions, the treatment hehad met with from the Jew, and what expense he had put him to; how atlength he had cast him, as above, and had recovered good damage of him,but that the rogue was unable to make him any considerable reparation.He had told me also how the Prince de ----'s gentleman had resented histreatment of his master, and how he had caused him to be used upon thePont Neuf, &c., as I have mentioned above, which I laughed at mostheartily.
"It is a pity," said I, "that I should sit here and make that gentlemanno amends; if you would direct me, sir," said I, "how to do it, I wouldmake him a handsome present, and acknowledge the justice he had done tome, as well as to the prince, his master." He said he would do what Idirected in it; so I told him I would send him five hundred crowns."That's too much," said he, "for you are but half interested in theusage of the Jew; it was on his master's account he corrected him, noton yours." Well, however, we were obliged to do nothing in it, forneither of us knew how to direct a letter to him, or to direct anybodyto him; so I told him I would leave it till I came to England, for thatmy woman, Amy, corresponded with him, and that he had made love to her.
"Well, but, sir," said I, "as, in requital for his generous concern forme, I am careful to think of him, it is but just that what expense youhave been obliged to be at, which was all on my account, should berepaid you; and therefore," said I, "let me see--." And there I paused,and began to reckon up what I had observed, from his own discourse, ithad cost him in the several disputes and hearings which he had with thatdog of a Jew, and I cast them up at something above 2130 crowns; so Ipulled out some bills which I had upon a merchant in Amsterdam, and aparticular account in bank, and was looking on them in order to givethem to him; when he, seeing evidently what I was going about,interrupted me with some warmth, and told me he would have nothing of meon that account, and desired I would not pull out my bills and papers onthat score; that he had not told me the story on that account, or withany such view; that it had been his misfortune first to bring that uglyrogue to me, which, though it was with a good design, yet he wouldpunish himself with the expense he had been at for his being so unluckyto me; that I could not think so hard of him as to suppose he would takemoney of me, a widow, for serving me, and doing acts of kindness to mein a strange country, and in distress too; but he said he would repeatwhat he had said before, that he kept me for a deeper reckoning, andthat, as he had told me, he would put me into a posture to even all thatfavour, as I called it, at once, so we should talk it over another time,and balance all together.
Now I expected it would come out, but still he put it off, as before,from whence I concluded it could not be matter of love, for that thosethings are not usually delayed in such a manner, and therefore it mustbe matter of money. Upon which thought I broke the silence, and toldhim, that as he knew I had, by obligation, more kindness for him than todeny any favour to him that I could grant, and that he seemed backwardto mention his case, I begged leave of him to give me leave to ask himwhether anything lay upon his mind with respect to his business andeffects in the world; that if it did, he knew what I had in the world aswell as I did, and that, if he wanted money, I would let him have anysum for his occasion, as far as five or six thousand pistoles, and heshould pay me as his own affairs would permit; and that, if he neverpaid me, I would assure him that I would never give him any trouble forit.
He rose up with ceremony, and gave me thanks in terms that sufficientlytold me he had been bred among people more polite and more courteousthan is esteemed the ordinary usage of the Dutch; and after hiscompliment was over he came nearer to me, and told me he was obliged toassure me, though with repeated acknowledgments of my kind offer, thathe was not in any want of money; that he had met with no uneasiness inany of his affairs--no, not of any kind whatever, except that of theloss of his wife and one of his children, which indeed had troubled himmuch; but that this was no part of what he had to offer me, and bygranting which I should balance all obligations; but that, in short, itwas that, seeing Providence had (as it were for that purpose) taken hiswife from him, I would make up the loss to him; and with that he held mefast in his arms, and, kissing me, would not give me leave to say no,and hardly to breathe.
At length, having got room to speak, I told him that, as I had saidbefore, I could deny him but one thing in the world; I was very sorry heshould propose that thing only that I could not grant.
I could not but smile, however, to myself that he should make so manycircles and roundabout motions to come at a discourse which had no suchrarity at the bottom of it, if he had known all. But there was anotherreason why I resolved not to have him, when, at the same time, if he hadcourted me in a manner less honest or virtuous, I believe I should nothave denied him; but I shall come to that part presently.
He was, as I have said, long a-bringing it out, but when he had broughtit out he pursued it with such importunities as would admit of nodenial; at least he intended they should not; but I resisted themobstinately, and yet with expressions of the utmost kindness and respectfor him that could be imagined, often telling him there was nothing elsein the world that I could deny him, and showing him all the respect, andupon all occasions treating him with intimacy and freedom, as if he hadbeen my brother.
He tried all the ways imaginable to bring his design to pass, but I wasinflexible. At last he thought of a way which, he flattered himself,would not fail; nor would he have been mistaken, perhaps, in any otherwoman in the world but me. This was, to try if he could take me at anadvantage and get to bed to me, and then, as was most rational to think,I should willingly enough marry him afterwards.
We were so intimate together that nothing but man and wife could, or atleast ought, to be more; but still our freedoms kept within the boundsof modesty and decency. But one evening, above all the rest, we werevery merry, and I fancied he pushed the mirth to watch for hisadvantage, and I resolved that I would at least feign to be as merry ashe; and that, in short, if he offered anything he should have his willeasily enough.
About one o'clock in the morning--for so long we sat up together--Isaid, "Come, 'tis one o'clock; I must go to bed." "Well," says he, "I'llgo with you." "No, no;" says I; "go to your own chamber." He said hewould g
o to bed with me. "Nay," says I, "if you will, I don't know whatto say; if I can't help it, you must." However, I got from him, lefthim, and went into my chamber, but did not shut the door, and as hecould easily see that I was undressing myself, he steps to his own room,which was but on the same floor, and in a few minutes undresses himselfalso, and returns to my door in his gown and slippers.
I thought he had been gone indeed, and so that he had been in jest; and,by the way, thought either he had no mind to the thing, or that he neverintended it; so I shut my door--that is, latched it, for I seldom lockedor bolted it--and went to bed. I had not been in bed a minute but hecomes in his gown to the door and opens it a little way, but not enoughto come in or look in, and says softly, "What! are you really gone tobed?" "Yes, yes," says I; "get you