I wake up while I am panting. I use my hands to get up and sit while my hands hold and keep me in this situation like two pillars. The shelter calms me. After a sigh of relief, I wipe the sweat off my brow. I try to remember my dream, but I can’t remember any part of that. It is like I’ve just closed and opened my eyes. Nina is still asleep. I push my blanket aside and rub my eyes. The old man wakes up from his sleep once in a while, as though he sees nightmare.
I need to wash my face, so using the edge of the window, I pull myself up and get up. Suddenly I face with the mass of the people who are congregated near the entrance door and are whispering. It seems something happened outside the shelter which caused they come here. I make Nina’s blanket tidy and go to the toilet, which is not crowded, through the innumerable people who are in a deep sleep. I wash my face and see myself in the mirror for a while. I expect that my face tells something to me, but it is just the face as I see it. I take a deep breath and go out after a short time. There are still some people standing in front of the entrance of the shelter and are looking at the outside. The curiosity takes me there. I ask a slouchy old man who coughs once in a while, and has a military hat on his head:
What happened? Why people are looking outside?
The old man spins his hat to see me well. After a while, when it seems to him that I am a credible man, he answers me:
We heard a voice from the outside, some people went outside for the voice, because he asked for help. But they haven’t back yet. Nobody knows what has happened to them.
Let’s see, does Karisan know?
The old man frowns and says:
No, he’s a little busy, he couldn’t come.
I thank him and force my way through the crowd which is increasing and stop in front of the door. Just a small space in outside is lighted by the light which is radiated from inside the shelter. It is too dark outside the shelter. I step out as far as there is light and look around. There is still darkness and I can’t see anything.
All of a sudden I hear a voice begging help. I go toward the voice involuntarily. Thanks to the lights which radiate through the windows, I would not lost my way back to the shelter. But the strange thing which draws my interest is that all of the windows are open, while Karisan’s colleagues closed them yesterday. Maybe they have opened them when I was asleep.
I drive these thoughts out of my mind and just concentrate if I heard the voice again, find its direction. Through my sixth sense and the guess about its direction, I go straight forward slowly opposite the shelter. I can hear the people’s sound which is fading gradually and is changing to a terrible silence. I take the lighter out of my pocket and light it. Its light is enough and lights my way partly. Time passes and fear seizes me and makes me decide to back to the shelter. But again I hear that helpless moan from a rather short distance. So I pass through the darkness and go forward. It is like an inner inspiration shows the way and guides me.
Suddenly the lighter goes out and as much as I try I can’t light it again. So I put it in my pocket again. When I meet the absolute darkness the weakness and indolence penetrate me. I take some steps backward.
I look at the shelter. I am at a short distance from the shelter, but something makes me think about my decision. Maybe I would be able to save someone; this acts like a candle in a dark desert for me. I close my eyes, this makes me feel as if I am someone else. I take a step, and this leads me to take next steps. It is a rather unusual and is out of my knowledge, but I obey it and open my eyes.
I wink my eyelids repeatedly, but this makes no change. Again, I look at the shelter, it is still there. I hold my hand in front my face, but I can’t even see it. My fear increases momentarily. I take some steps warily and hear the sound of gritting gravels under my feet. Every a few steps, I turn and look at the shelter so that it is tied up with me. The gravels replace with the sands and then with dry soil. There is no air like the vacuum.
Suddenly the ground under my feet collapses and I fall into a sinkhole. When I open my eyes, I expect that all of these be a dream, but everywhere is still dark. I can see the moon from inside the sinkhole which is shining. I pause for a while, then shake my feet, my body and my hands to be sure they are well and healthy. I can move my fingers easily, and the more important, I can sit.
I give my neck massage for a while and think of the time I have been fainted here. I don’t know the exact time, but it has passed insomuch that my neck has become stiff because of being still. I get up hardly with the help of inner wall of the hole. I wish I had wings and could come out of the hole.
Again, I close my eyes to become calm a little but when I open my eyes, he is still here. He lay on the ground as I saw him in my dream last night. His eyes are hidden under his eyelids and are open just insomuch that he can only have a narrow sight. Yet, it seems he has used all of his force to do this.
As in my dream, his leg is broken and blood has covered all over his body. The same wounds suffused his body. I should help him, but I need help too. I approach him one step to inspect his situation, but suddenly his eyes become wide open as a spring. His look is toward the gun which is on the ground.
I cry several times and beg help but no one replies. I wait for a while, maybe a miracle occurs. But I can see the endless pain in his eyes, which are hidden under the shadow of the hole. His condition implies that he wouldn’t survive. Even if someone finds us, he wouldn’t survive. Now I realize why he points out the gun. I take the gun and aim at his head and…
Suddenly I wake up. I take a deep breath and rub my neck. I’m happy it was just a dream. All of the chairs and tables are arranging again. With this much noise, all the people are woken up, yet a few of them are still asleep. Maybe that hole is Wildi’s everlasting house. Maybe he would have calmness there. No, I should pull him out of there. He should not be forgotten so easily.
Waiters and some people are serving the breakfast to the rest of the people. Some of them are eating their breakfast while sitting on the ground, some other at the table. I sit on a chair which is near the place that Nina lay. I put my knapsack on the other chair to keep it for Nina and she can stay close to me. The waiters are in rush to provide breakfast for all the people. Since I am at a distance of the counter, I take my breakfast later. The breakfast is the selfsame last night meal.
As I put the first spoon of the meal in my mouth, suddenly, my eyes meet Nina’s eyes and I find her awake. She gazed at me. I go toward her, lift and sit her quickly on a chair next to me, which thanks to my knapsack it is not occupied yet.. She rubs her eyes, makes no complaint and sits there calmly.
Stay here till I bring your breakfast.
But she replies me just with her look and then quickly forces her way through the crowd and disappears. I remain in wonder for a while and put my knapsack on her chair again and then I watch the people.
After a short time, I turn my head and I see Nina while she is looking at me with her washed face and is carrying a small tray in her hands. She puts the tray on the table and waits I take my knapsack off her chair. Then she sits on the chair fast and nimbly. She smiles and begins to eat her meal. She uses the spoon regularly and carefully and eats her meal calmly. This kind of dining whets my appetite.
As I finish my meal gradually, suddenly I see Yatilan passing through the crowd like a snake and coming toward me. His face seems a little angry. Nina also stops dining because of my sudden look and she looks at the same direction. Yatilan stops between me and Nina, then he bends toward Nina and before starts talking with me, he tells her:
Excuse me dear Nina.
Nina smiles and continues eating her meal. Yatilan turns to me and says slowly:
Karisan has business with you.
Then throws Nina a meaningful look. I realize his purpose without explanation. So I tell her:
My dear, go to auntie when you finished your meal. I should go to uncle Karisan. Okey?
She shakes her head while eating her meal. I take my knapsack and go along with y
atilan. He forces our way ahead of me. We go toward Karisan’s room. Yatilan enters without knocking and waits until I enter too.
Karisan is sitting on the table and is playing with his feet. Some patients lay on their pad on the ground. They used blankets instead of the green cover. Their numbers are more than Karisan’s room capacity. There is no equipment in this room. Except two patients who are awake, the rest are asleep. Once in a while, a moan can be heard from them, but it seems their malady is not acute. Two patients are asleep in a corner with no motion, while entirely are covered by their blankets. They even don’t groan and their breasts don’t move. Yatilan closes the door and stands near the table. Karisan’s face is calm and cool and he ponders. As we enter, Karisan turns toward us and stops playing with his feet. Then he says:
You can begin, Yatilan.
Then he offers me a chair to sit. I thank him by shaking my head.
I’ve assign armed guards in front of each window. People are afraid.
Karisan’s eyes are still locked into the table.
Bad news is spread among the people. It is said that they see black shadows through the windows. People complain. They don’t want to leave here.
Karisan, without lifting his head, says:
What about the nomads?
Yatilan replies:
The group which we sent out haven’t come back yet. They went to check the migrants’ condition. The migrants who are newcomers say that the black shadows were chasing them.
So the serious danger has not happened yet?
Not yet.
I interfere:
Do they have any other purpose unless the slaughter?
Yatilan shrugs:
Nobody knows what the nomads are doing here. If they aimed to the slaughter, they would do this now.
No one has ever seen such a behavior of them, it’s really strange!
We are inspecting all the people. Maybe we find something strange.
Karisan looks at Yatilan inquisitively and ask him:
Is there any spy in the shelter?
There’s no telling. There was no news of the nomads for a long time. They were turning to a legend. Few people could remember them. But now, fear has surrounded everywhere, everybody; even the red-eyed who have never heard their name.
I say:
I mean whether nomads have entered here
Probably.
Did the man who was wounded by the nomads say anything?
Karisan inserts his fingers into each other and says:
They were coming that nomads attacked them. They kill all people of the group. This one managed to escape.
I ask in wonder:
He escaped or they let him be alive?
Yatilan takes a deep breath and says:
Probably they left him alive. No one has ever been able to save his life from the nomads.
Karisan leans on his chair and says:
They wanted to parade their presence; that is, warning.
I shake my head and say:
So they don’t attack now. This time, they seem to have a different purpose.
Yatilan sits on a chair. He says:
What should we do? What should we tell the people?
Karisan says:
For the time being, we must wait and see what they want to do. Don’t make decision instead of people. They know what they should do.
Suddenly, an event reminds me of the sunrise:
By the way, I must tell something about the nomads.
All of a sudden the door is beaten and Rakovan comes in:
The group returned. Just one of them is alive, the rest are dead.
Yatilan gets up so fast so that his leg catches the edge of the table and his face crumples:
Where is he now?
Again, door opens and two waiters carry a man on their shoulders who is wounded by a knife which is inserted in his leg. His body trembles and his face is pallid:
As we turned our head, they appeared from behind. It’s not known how many they are. They killed all.
Karisan shows the bed to the waiters and then says:
Zairas and Yatilan, you two go and prepare the foodstuffs.
Yatilan looks at Karisan in wonder:
What do you mean?
We had better leave here.
Yatilan confirms karisan’s words by closing his eyes and wants me to follow him. I give my knapsack to Rakovan before I go out.
We must ration the foodstuffs.
People wouldn’t leave here in this condition.
Doesn’t matter. We can’t do anything.
I go follow him. We stop in front of the store. It is next to the clinic, right under the stairways. Yatilan enters store before me. A soft and warm breeze touches my face gently. This breeze is a rather strange in such a room which has not any entrance for it. Yatilan doesn’t notice it at all and goes toward a manhole. He opens it and then disappears into it.
This is a rather large store but is like a corridor. The broken chairs are put in a corner. In the other side, the cabinets have covered the wall. Some gunny are hung from the ceiling and between them the wires and cables can be seen. I enter the manhole after him and go down through it.
Then I see him busy with lighting some candles somewhere on the wall. When all of the candles are lighted, I notice the difference between here and upper floors. The remnants of concrete walls which are destroyed by lapse of time, are gathered below the walls. Now, the soft breeze blows faster, so that a howl-like sound can be heard. Yatilan takes the list off the wall, then, while he changes his place searching for light, says:
This is the list of foodstuffs which is remained for us. Those items which have been crossed out are out of stock. Indeed, it’s not necessary you look at it since the only foodstuffs in stock are just these boxes and…
Then he gives me the list and waits. The effects of the four classical elements can be seen all over the list and just the same 200 boxes of canned foods, as he said, is not crossed out on the list.
I approach the light to see the writings well. I made no mistake: 200 boxes are placed on each other on a corner. Yatilan is waiting for my reply while has lifted one of his eyebrows.
My eyes move from his face to the other parts of the store and I see about one hundred little yellow plants which are placed in small vases. I ask Yatilan, without I stop looking at them:
The yellow plant?
He strokes his beard:
Yea, we were going to run a farm here. We could supply foodstuffs for the shelter.
Is there any good soil and water around the shelter?
We planned to sow wheat, corn and some fruit trees. Yea, there is still good soil. These plants don’t need much water. It is possible to irrigate the whole farm with about twenty liters of water. We found a pipe line of water which isn’t certain from where it carries the water to here. At least it is good for farming.
“Life” shelter has very large farms. There, we had hot bread every day. The yellow plant accepts any kind of graft. We even tried fruit trees. It was excellent. So, this water comes from the well which is near the shelter?
No, we thought the pipe line passes over there, but it seems its way has been changed. The well is obsolete and useless. Which one would give better result, graft the yellow plant to the wheat or to the corn?
How deep is the well? Both are good, we used wheat more. We could grow and harvest pomegranates.
A smile appears on his lips:
I think it’s about four meters deep. Why? We can save our world with this plant. I want to try the fruits.
I shake my head:
I was about to fall into it. Orange is very good for graft to the yellow plant.
I prepared a plug for it but I got no occasion to fix it on the well. Come with me.
We go toward two vases on a corner of the room.
I grafted them last week. One to the apple, one to the orange.
The grafted branches of the orange have turned into the col
or and appearance of the plant.
The orange graft is ready to take to the outside under the direct sunshine, but the apple graft isn’t ready yet.
The color of the apple branches has changed a little, but their appearance is yet the same as original form. I confirm his words:
Yea, if you put it under the sunshine now, it wouldn’t grow anymore. Don’t water it again. Its leaves are losing their colors.
I touch its leaves:
They become thin. If you put it under sunshine when it grew enough, this would be ok.
He presses his lips, shakes her head and says:
Sure. Now let’s have a look at foodstuffs.
I lean on a chair, whose one leg is broken, to the wall and sit on it:
Two hundreds of twenty-can packs which equals four thousands can.
Yatilan wrinkles his brow and says:
We have foodstuffs almost for ten days. There is just a problem.
He takes one of the cans and points to its expiration date:
They will be expired five days ahead.
Why you didn’t order foodstuffs sooner?
It was appointed they send us some yellow plants and seeds with foodstuffs, but nothing happened.
Well, what to do now?
I go to call for some guys to take the foodstuffs out.
Then he goes up the ladder. I put the list aside and open one of the packs. The number of the cans is the same as in the list. I open a vegetables can and taste it. Its taste hasn’t changed yet, but by the next five days it surely would change. Except for canned vegetables, there is canned beans in the list. I search to find one of these among the packs. The expiry date of this kind of canned foods is also five days ahead.
I put the can on the stool and then I follow the breeze direction. I wet my finger tip with saliva to find its direction more exactly. The wind blows just from behind the foodstuffs packs. I approach the wind origin as much as I can, but I can’t continue because of so many packs which are in my way.
I check the wall behind the packages. It has different color and is in conflict with the next wall which its color has been scaled. The next wall has the same similarity as well, as if both are made in the same time. Evidently the intention of making these two new walls and link them to the old walls has been to enclose a part of space and use it as a store. Maybe there is a way that links to here and causes the wind flow through here and Karisan’s room. Accordingly, since I am downstairs, the wind enters here through the well.
A sudden breeze of cold weather and a weak tremble shake me when I am amazed and ponder for a while and I keep my balance using the wall. The “well” and the “sinkhole” are the words which associate me the last night dream and is displayed in front of my eyes.
Suddenly I feel someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turn my face like the possessed people and my eyes search for the hand. I see Yatilan and four people behind him. All of them see me like a dead man who suddenly has come to life and with the exchange of their looks, they aim at me. Some pity and compassion for me can be seen in their eyes. They look at me with eyes wide open.
Hey man, let’s see, what happened, are you okay?
Yatilan says that, while is trying to find out something from my look. I don’t know why I couldn’t hear their footsteps. I shake my head and then, to justify my action, I say:
The taste of the canned foods hasn’t changed yet.
I give Yatilan the opened can.
Yea, I hope we’ll be lucky they decay later than the expiry date.
Then he shakes his hand and orders his colleagues:
We should take them all to the upstairs. Some people are going to leave here. Please stand at a distance from each other so that we be able to move them easily.
I ask him:
Are they determined to leave here?
It’s so better than they stay here and die.
Then all of his colleagues execute his order and they stand at a distance from each other.
But it’s not certain that what is lying in wait for them outside of here.
Staying here means staying alive just up to next ten days, naturally, if the nomads don’t attack.
The last one of Karisan’s colleagues stands near the manhole, up the ladder. I also, comply with them, stand ahead and hand the heavy packs to others. It takes about two hours to take the package out of the store and transfer them to the counters of the ground floor and first floor through the people who come to help us. My shirt is completely wet and it sticks to my skin when I touch it. With each breath, I feel as if my soul is leaving my body. The sores on my soles also ache because of the weight of the packages, but I forget the pain when Yatilan gives me a rather cool beverage.
He asks me:
How was that?
Cool and delicate, thanks.
It’s made of yellow plant, I mean a mixture of some products and then make it to a powder. I think it is sweet even without sugar.
I shake my head:
It’s marvelous! Its taste is special.
Yatilan smiles:
Remind me to show you something in an occasion. Now get some rest.
Then he winks at me and goes toward Karisan’s room. My eyes search for an empty chair. Nina is sitting at the last table on a corner of the shelter and is drawing. No one notices her. When our eyes meet, she smiles. Then she hints me and I go toward her. While looking my face, she shows me her drawings and waits for my opinion:
Is it your drawing? It’s unique!
She sneers and then rises from her chair. She gathers her outfits with the help from me and put them on her small bag. She holds my hand and takes me to her room. I guess what she wants. Probably she wants to attach her drawing to the wall.
We enter Karisan’s room. Due to the patients, Nina goes slowly toward the bookcase. Here is too dark. After that my eyes adapt to darkness, I see Karisan sitting on a chair. He is beating an irregular rhythm on the table with his fingers. Except for the moans of patients, it is the only sound that can be heard.
What happened?
Yatilan goes away from the wall and says:
Nothing.
Have you got something about the nomads?
The wounded man feels better now, but he has nothing special to tell. He says that the nomads appear from nowhere. The death angel would be in front of you in a wink.
Have they sent any message?
No one has ever heard their voice. They’re called silent angels.
I met two of them before I enter the shelter.
Karisan narrows his eyes. I continue:
They attacked someone called Wildi and killed him with knife.
Karisan says:
Where’s his corpse?
They threw him into a well.
How you managed to escape?
They left me alive.
Karisan takes a deep breath:
I’ve no idea. Can you show me its place?
Sure! I want to take Wildi’s body out of the well. He was my friend.
I think Nina is waiting for you. When your job finished call me.
I rise from the chair and all of a sudden I see Nina beckons me. When I enter the room, she comes down of her bed and shows me her drawing on the wall. Now, there is no sign of that two patients who were in this room before. Maybe they are in fine fettle now, maybe… however Nina is released from the wandering.
Suddenly I see the drawings which are waving like the sea. I look around to find its motive, but I don’t see any cooling or heating equipment in the room. Again, I look at the drawings so that I can find the air current. The air waves are coming from behind the bookcase and Nina’s commode. But Nina doesn’t notice the wind flow at all, as if it is common thing for her. An edge of her drawings which is at a distance of the wall, sticks to the wall again. I go toward the commodes to check them, but I can’t find any way to see behind them. Again, I look at the drawings. Air flow stops and I hear a low shout from the outside.
Chapter 8
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br /> Frustration