just read my lips...
RICARDO: I don't think so, he can't see an inch from his nose!
INT. OLYMPIC VILLAGE – RESIDENTIAL BUILDING – DAY
The hallway is desert as a disconsolate Edwin walks absorbed in his thoughts. Just as he turns the corner HELGA hurries up to him.
HELGA: Here you are at last! I've been trying to sleep for an hour now, you've got to make them stop!
Edwin frowns as she points to his room, the door vibrating as joyful AFRICAN MUSIC rings loud behind it.
EDWIN: What the heck..?
Edwin rushes to the room, opens the door to step into the middle of Olympic Mardi Gras: a colorful bunch of dancing men and women overcrowds the room, Leon wiggling to the rhythm of a bongo as he cooks a slop on a camping stove by the windowsill.
Edwin is shocked. Everyone stops at once as he turns off the stereo on his bed.
EDWIN: Will you tell me what the hell is going on here?
Everybody stares back at him when the ORIENTAL TUNE starts playing loud from the alarm-clock.
KIDAL: Japan fever, ladies and gentlemen!!
The crowd resumes dancing as Edwin flops down on his bed. Eyes and mood on the floor, fitting in the party like raisins in ketchup. Abebe sits down next to him.
ABEBE: Hey man, what's wrong with you?
EDWIN: Nothing. Apart the fact that I'm an unfit, unfair idiot!
ABEBE: Come on, I barely know you but you look like a good guy! And to be here at the Games I bet you can't be that unfit, too.
Edwin shakes his head as he lays a hand on his shoulder.
EDWIN: Tell me, Abebe, since when have you been running?
ABEBE: Well, I guess since I started walking.
EDWIN: (cracks a sad smile) Well, I never played table tennis, not a single time in my whole life!
The oriental tune stops as everybody turns shocked at Edwin. Abebe looks puzzled at Kidal and Leon.
EDWIN: Yeah, and not even them.
Kidal glances awkwardly at the stunned faces in the room.
KIDAL: Well, I'm a big fan of the game, anyway!
EDWIN: That's not true, we never gave a damn about table tennis! The truth is we got here by chance, in fact we shouldn't be here at all!
He shakes his head at the silent crowd.
EDWIN: You struggled all your life, went through any kind of sacrifice to be here today. We're here for a stroke of luck, a shortcut, and we just don't deserve it!
The petrified athletes just keep staring at him. Until:
ABEBE: Well, had I found a shortcut I would've taken that for sure!
He stands up, moves over Leon's stove and dips a ladle into the slop.
KIDAL: Watch out, it's --
Before Leon can stop him Abebe throws down a big sip.
ABEBE: Mmm, not bad... (back to a stunned Edwin) When I was a kid I could choose, go to the sulfur mine with my father, work thirteen hours a day and probably get me a lung cancer before I was 35, or start running, hoping to maybe one day become an athlete. (Throws down another sip) Well, don't know about you, but I never could stand the smell of sulfur!
Edwin is set aback as Kerieme, the Sudanese swimmer, just shrugs.
KERIEME: Me too, I started in the shoe factory where I worked as a kid. It was two hours of overtime or just one of exercise, and I couldn't wait to get back home to play cards with my grandpa!
BEEFY ATHLETE: I ended up working in my uncle's garage, but the idea of spending my life changing truck tires didn't thrill me that much! So instead of pushing on lift jacks and wrenches I started lifting weights in the gym.
Edwin resumes his smile as Abebe keeps dipping in Leon's pot.
ABEBE: You took advantage of every means available to get here in search of what you didn't have back at home, and that makes you no different than each one of us.
KERIEME: Yeah, none of us would have traveled the world and met all this wonderful people if it wasn't for the sport! This was the only way for us to do what we never could have done, so I guess that every way to get here is a good way after all.
BEEFY ATHLETE: Man, I would have even doped if I just had the money!
ABEBE: We are all on the same boat, bud, just looking for a better place in the world...
He throws down a last spoonful of slop, hands a speechless Leon the empty pot.
ABEBE: That was good, man, you may have lost your medal but you sure can cook! And now if you'll excuse me I've got a race to attend...
KERIEME: Yeah, me too. Great party, guys!
One by one everybody walks out the room, leaving our guys alone to just look at each other.
EDWIN: Well, looks like we're not alone on our mission, are we?
LEON: Yeah, and you know what that means?
KIDAL: That we could get some help?
LEON: No. It means that a better world just doesn't exist. No promised land, no hidden paradise, only a bunch of nobodies trying to make ends meet just like us! (Nods to himself) The sages of our village always told us, don't dream of something you don't even know exists!
EDWIN: You know what I think about the sages of our village? How could they be so sage if they never set foot out of it? (He smiles at his friends) A better world exists, and we're not the only ones believing you can get there!
He turns around, shoots a convinced look outside the window.
EDWIN: These men and women devoted their entire lives to get to where we got almost by accident, for the respect we owe to them and to ourselves we must turn this occasion into more than a vacation. We too must believe in it and give all we got to achieve our goal...
INSERT: A WHITE BALL BOUNCES IN SLOW MOTION UPON A TABLE
EDWIN (V.O.): ...we have to stop acting like patsy rustics and get ready to grow some backbone. And believe me...
INT. TABLE TENNIS ARENA – DAY
Kidal grabs the ball, throws it up in the air...
EDWIN (V.O.): ...if and when we'll start to show some guts victory will be just a simple consequence.
...hits it with incredible violence and serves an ace.
Edwin's words still echo in his ears as he turns in disbelief to the stands, where Edwin and Leon look even more incredulous at the SCOREBOARD: France 2, Zimbabwe 0, 10 to 1 in the third.
KIDAL: For the glory of heaven, it is true!
He pops out his fetish, gives it a kiss as he turns back to the table with blazing eyes.
KIDAL: Come on, Babu, let's teach this Frenchman how to play!
BADASS MUSIC kicks in as we CUT TO:
MONTAGE – KIDAL STRIKES BACK!
-- A series of stunning winning shots as Kidal triumphantly comes back up to an unexpected victory.
-- The crowd explodes in the arena, Kidal winks to a wet-eyed little girl as he hands her the victory ball under Huang's disgusted eyes.
-- Kidal grins in the bathroom mirror, ties a five pound weight to his right wrist.
-- Huang wins his first match in a shutout.
-- Standing in the garden Edwin and Leon throw a bagful of fast balls at Kidal, who one by one misses all of them as he haphazardly moves his racket.
-- An alarm rings, Kidal struggles to lift the blanket and the weight on his wrist.
-- Kidal triumphantly wins another match, winks at a scraggy long jumper lady as he throws her his ball.
-- Ever more furious, the Chinese champion wins again.
-- A pair of athletes stare stumped as Kidal bows before his fetish.
-- Edwin and Leon keep throwing fast balls at Kidal, now catching more and more... until he spots a Russian gymnast warming up across the garden.
EDWIN: Come on, concentrate!
A storm of balls strikes Kidal, who drops senseless to the ground as the girl bends down to stretch.
-- Kidal wins another game, winks and throws the ball to a tubby old woman as a pair of athletes kneel down before his wooden doll.
-- Other big shots from Kidal...
-- ...and another win for Huang.
-- A small cro
wd kneels down on the floor, arms raised in adoration at a stunned, glabrous, Babu-like basketball player.
-- Kidal's ballasted hand looks like a whisk as he brushes his teeth before the mirror.
-- Edwin and Leon go on with their throws, a heavy bombing of beastly returns forces them behind a tree.
-- The crowd goes wild as Kidal wins another match and gains access to the final.
Leon and Edwin run to their friend as the referee raises his arm in victory.
EDWIN: Kidal, my friend, you're an alien!
KIDAL: I always knew my sex-appeal wasn't the only gift that I had! (Kisses his fetish) Believe me, guys, we won't have to kidnap anybody, let's just win this tournament and get ready for a new life!
Sitting on the stands HUANG grinds his teeth at the cheering crowd.
HUANG: These bums are starting to annoy --
A cork hits him in the eye as he turns enraged at Edwin, spraying champagne on the triumphant Kidal.
HUANG: Son of a panda!
He jumps up and storms away while, a few rows behind, SAHEED crossly observes Kidal getting carried off in triumph by a bunch of chubby ladies.
EXT. OLYMPIC VILLAGE POOL – DAY
A different cheering crowd stands around Vitali and a bearded Canadian big man as they sit before two lines of vodka shots.
VITALI: Come on, kid, let's see what you got!
With a disturbing grin he throws down half a dozen vodkas in just a few seconds. The Canadian attacks his shots with a grunt... flips off his chair after the fifth.
VITALI: Yeah, I could have sworn...
He throws down one more vodka and stands up, walks away among the hand-clapping crowd when he suddenly blacks out, drops senseless in the pool raising a big wave which splashes down over the tanning HELGA.
HELGA: (bolts up) But... but...
She shakes like a wet dog, grabs his wooden clogs and storms away, rushing past LEON as he warily walks across the garden.
MALE VOICE (O.S.): What are you looking for, other plants to