“Umm…” I shrugged. “I need to ask you something.”
His frown spread. “Ask me.”
“I know we’re both surviving on no sleep with no small amount of shock for what we’ve done but...”
“But…”
“Well, after fighting your feelings for me for so long. Now we’ve, eh, crossed those boundaries, are you still happy?” I ducked my gaze. “Are you happy you—”
“Ah, Della.” Scooping me into strong arms, he rested his chin on my head. “I was honest with how I struggled to come to terms with loving you this way, and now, I’ll be honest again.” His voice dropped to a smoky murmur. “For the first time, I don’t care about any of it. I can stand here with my head proud and tell the sun to go guilt-trip someone else for a change. Last night was the best night of my life with the only person I have ever loved. As far as I’m concerned, it was the first time for both of us. No one else compares because no one else ever came close to how I feel about you. And now that I know who you are beneath that bossy, brilliant girl I raised, you’re in trouble because having you once won’t be enough. Having you twice or three times or even a lifetime will never be enough, do you hear me?”
Pulling back, he stared as deep as he could into my heart. “I’m not just in love with you, Della. You’re the only reason I’m alive. Loving you gave me purpose. And now you’ve completed me by giving me something I never dared dream of, so to answer your question, yes, I’m happy. So fucking happy I’m going to explode.”
I shivered in his arms. “Okay then. Good.”
“Fine.” He grinned.
I raised my chin, my eyes fixating on his beautiful lips. “You know…after a declaration like that, you can’t expect me not to want to get you back into bed.” Standing on my tiptoes, I brushed a soft kiss on his mouth. “Take me into the tent, Ren.”
He groaned, “Don’t tempt me. It was hard enough untangling myself from you this morning.”
Last night—after we’d orgasmed and slowly realised the enormity of what we’d done half-undressed, smeared in mud, and scratched with leaves in the middle of an empty forest—we’d petted and stroked and laughed at the sudden glorious freedom of being together.
That dazzling freedom drenched us in a high that made us shake and laugh and giggle like silly children as Ren pulled free, disposed of the condom, then plucked me from the gound.
The river was too shallow to swim, but we were able to wash off the stickiness and wilderness before eating a simple dinner of roasted fish, then snuggling up like we always did in the tent that took forever to put up, thanks to him grabbing me or me kissing him with our constant need to be close.
It was the best day of my life, but for some reason, we couldn’t fall asleep. Too in awe of what had happened, too afraid that if we closed our eyes, we’d wake and it would all be a dream.
All night, Ren cupped my breast, rocked his front into my back, and wrapped his leg around mine. Our touches were allowed to be sexual. We were allowed to include our bodies as well as our hearts.
By the time dawn stole the midnights of darkness and used a different palate of shell-pinks and mandarin-golds, Ren and I were well and truly smitten.
Thank God, no one else was around because we were completely wrapped up in each other to the point of eye rolling.
“We have nowhere to be. No deadlines. No appointments. Why can’t we just have sex for the rest of our lives?”
Ren chuckled, warming my heart with its husky melodic sound. “Because you didn’t let me prepare. You pounced on me yesterday, remember?”
“I did nothing of the sort.” I smirked, knowing full well that when I’d found that small clearing, I couldn’t hold off the urgency anymore. The tingling, sparkling urgency that had steadily grown from painful to excruciating.
If Ren hadn’t given in last night, I very well might’ve attacked him against his will.
“You won last night, Little Ribbon. Now you have to do what I say.” Throwing me a heated look, he commanded, “Help me pack up camp. We’re heading down river where the current isn’t so fast and it’s deeper to swim.”
I followed him as he pulled the sleeping bags from the tent and started to roll them up. “And then what?”
He threw me a cheeky, deliciously dirty look. “And then, it’s my turn.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
REN
* * * * * *
2018
DELLA HAD CHANGED my world.
And now, I wanted to change hers.
As we strode through the fading light to yet another campsite, I spotted a natural clearing where no sun was welcome, and no trees grew.
The river babbled in the distance, glistening in the twilight with invitation to wash away our exhaustion and relax. It wasn’t as loud or as swift as our last stop. The surface calm and serene instead of choppy and chaotic.
The small cuts and grazes from sex last night marked Della’s creamy skin as she strode ahead of me, her backpack heavy, boots crunching purposely, unaware I’d made my choice.
I wanted to feel bad about hurting her, but all I felt was absolute satisfaction and weird male pride.
“Stop,” I said quietly hiding a cough as I slipped my bag to the ground and once again became bombarded by the tingling, incinerating chemistry that’d set up a constant vigil between us.
Della brushed away a sweat-sticky curl, breathing shallowly as she slowed to a halt and turned. She didn’t say anything as our eyes locked, and we became caught up in a vortex of need.
“Don’t.” I kept my distance. “I’m doing my best to have camp set up before we give in this time.”
“And how’s that going for you?” She laughed as I tore at my bag’s zipper and wrenched out almost every belonging in a rush.
“Good.” I fisted the tent and shook it out.
“If you say so.”
“Hold that tongue of yours, Della. I’m having you. Just give me a few minutes.”
She smiled sweetly as I began the process of erecting somewhere to sleep—somewhere to take her where it was soft and safe so I could take my time and make her fall apart as spectacularly as she’d made me.
Disposing of her own bag, Della rubbed her lower back as she came to grab two sides of the tent as I unrolled it. She held it taut while I hammered in the pegs. Together, we inserted the poles, bending them until the nylon sprang upward, creating a roof.
The entire time we worked, my skin never stopped prickling at her proximity. And once we’d finished, she moved away and stripped off her t-shirt, leaving her in just a black sports bra and jeans as she twisted up her hair to encourage a breeze to cool her down.
My gut squeezed, my heart pounded, my mouth went dry.
All my life, she’d cared for me. She’d done chores I didn’t ask her to, cooked food I didn’t request, been there every step of the way. I no longer looked at her as two people—girl and woman—just her.
Della.
Mine.
Dappled in twilight with tiredness clinging to her skin, she looked so damn young. Too young to withstand the hurricane of lust in my blood.
But she had survived.
She’d fought me back.
She’d woken me up to the temptress she truly was, and I couldn’t wait anymore.
We had a bed.
That was all we needed.
As she kicked off her boots and removed her socks, her ribbon tattoo with its capital R filled my vision, no longer condemning me but welcoming me.
I wanted to lick it again.
Bite it for good measure.
Stopping beside her as she turned to face me, I hovered like a love-struck fool, drinking her in, licking my lips at how I wanted to suck the sweat on her chest and run my thumb over the perspiration on her upper lip.
I was so fucking in love with her, I could barely stand it.
She looked up, shielding her gaze from the final light streaming through the trees. “Why are you looking at me like that?” S
he narrowed her eyes. “You don’t look well. In fact, you look hungry.” She stepped toward the bags. “I’ll make you something to eat. You need to put on weight—”
Grabbing her around the waist, I shook my head. “I’m not hungry for food, Della.”
She blinked, whatever tiredness she suffered vanished. “Oh.”
“Yes, oh. You’ve turned me into an addict.”
“I don’t mind.”
Nuzzling her nose with mine, I breathed softly, “It’s my turn to ask you something.”
“Okay…” She didn’t help my concentration or self-control by fixating on my mouth. “What?”
“Last night…was it okay for you? Not emotionally, but physically?”
She laughed under her breath. “Seriously?” She melted in my hold, her eyes soft and glowing. “Good? That’s a very underwhelming word for how great it was.”
“I was rough with you.”
“And I loved every second of it.” She tilted her head. “What’s this really about?”
Honestly, I didn’t truly know. I’d shown her quick and explosive, but I didn’t want her to think that was my only trick. And I didn’t want her to think I was some idiot who needed affirmation that he’d performed well.
This wasn’t about me.
This was about her.
This was about pleasing her, so she never looked elsewhere again.
This was about me ensuring my heart would never be broken when she realised I wasn’t everything she hoped I would be.
“Last night was the best night of my life, Della. Is it wrong that I hoped it was the same for you?”
Her body tensed. “It was.”
“Can I try to make it better?”
“There’s no need. I loved every—”
“I had you pinned in the dirt while rutting into you like a savage. Tonight, I need to show you I’m more than that.”
“I know you are.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I love you as a savage. That savage made me come for the first time, so believe me, I loved it just as much as you did.”
“Wait.” I reared back, holding her at arm’s length. “What do you mean, the first time you came?”
She blushed. “I’m saying…I’d never come before.”
“But…” My mind whirled on all the times she’d thrown hints and secrets in my face, daring me to rise to the bait, tormenting me on a daily basis. “You implied. You said—”
“That I’d made myself orgasm to thoughts of you?” She sighed. “Yes, I know. I wanted you to have that mental picture. Sorry.” She winced a little as I glared at her. “The truth is, I did try. I’ve touched myself while thinking about you, but even though I wanted you enough to overlook certain rules, I could never get past the fact that you didn’t want me. Every time I got close, I…I couldn’t do it. The shame would be too much to bear, and I’d stop.”
I rubbed my face with a hand. “So you’re saying you’ve spent your entire life frustrating yourself and never finding a release?”
She laughed under her breath. “I guess you could say that.”
“No wonder living with you made me on edge.” I chuckled painfully, coughing once. “Every time I looked at you, Della, the way you stared at me almost brought me to my knees. The amount of times I lectured myself that I was imagining it, picking up on things that weren’t there.” I shook my head, reliving the agony of sharing a house with the one person I couldn’t have. “You made my life a lot harder than it should’ve been.”
She smiled sinfully. “Yes, but it meant I got you in the end, so I have no regrets.”
I fell quiet, letting the past crash over me but no longer suffering the same guilt as before. Maybe Della was right, and everything had happened for a reason. Maybe I’d never let myself care for anyone else because I knew I’d never be able to share my heart with anyone other than her. And maybe she’d never made herself orgasm because all along she’d been waiting for me to—
I groaned, wedging my fingers against my temples as yet another tormenting thought appeared.
“What? What is it?” Della scooted closer. “You have that look again.”
“What look?”
“The look that says you want to whip yourself for ever thinking about touching me.”
“First, I’ll never feel that way again. Ever. As far as I’m concerned, your body is mine just like mine is yours. And second, just because you know me doesn’t mean you can predict everything about me.”
“Well, you should accept that last night needed to happen the way it did. It was never going to be slow and sweet, Ren. We’d been edging to exploding for years.”
I nodded, picking up on her wavelength just as I used to do when she was young. “It smashed through our perceptions. Changed the relationship between us.”
“Exactly.” She shifted to kiss my stubble-covered cheek. I hadn’t shaved in a few days and didn’t have the urge out here. “And now, stop changing the subject and tell me what you’re truly thinking.”
She was right. Last night was never going to be anything more than a feral battle because we had far too much history between us. History that held different dynamics and ages and pent-up secrets we hadn’t shared.
Now, things were out in the open.
And we had so much to look forward to.
Cupping her cheeks, my touch sent goosebumps ricocheting down her arms. “I’ve taught you almost everything you know. Just like you’ve taught me.”
Her breath came feathery and light. “Yes.”
“Would it be sick of me to teach you something else?”
Her gaze hooded as she leaned into me. “Teach me what?”
I licked my lips, drawn to her, unable to stop the way her heart hooked mine. “How to come. Not just when being ruthlessly taken but with my fingers inside you, my tongue licking you, my cock fucking you. So many different ways. I want to be the one to teach you all of them.”
She gasped, then shook her head slowly. “I-I wouldn’t mind.”
The shy happiness in her tone undid me.
Bringing her close, I kissed her hard. “Good answer, Little Ribbon. Let’s start now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
DELLA
* * * * * *
2018
REN’S KISSES WERE something made of fantasy.
Hard and rough. Swift and sexy. Deep and lingering. Whenever he kissed me, it didn’t matter if it was a peck or a meal, he completely hijacked my thoughts and body.
And that was how I went from standing in my jeans and bra to him undoing my belt and zipper, pushing the denim down my legs, then reverently removing my black bikini briefs before pulling the sports bra over my head.
Once I was naked, he kissed me harder, plucked me from the ground as if I weighed nothing and carried me in arms that bunched and trembled with an intoxicating mix of love and lust.
My legs automatically wrapped around his waist, our lips never unlocking as he toed off his boots, kicked them aside, and marched fully clothed toward the gurgle and chuckle of the river.
He licked me deep and clutched me strong, trading dry land for a water-world as if he outran echoes from our past and bravely stormed into our future.
“What are you doing?” I gasped when he continued walking. Water sucked at his socks, saturating his jeans. His steps became wades as we traded the shallows to a darkened pool where the current didn’t disrupt the crystal clarity of the surface.
Once there, he ducked to his knees and pulled me down into the cool, crisp embrace of the river.
His breath caught from the chill, a tiny rattle roughening his voice. “Making love to you.”
Somehow, it felt as if he bowed to me. Worshipping me all while his tongue said he planned to corrupt me with an evening of ecstasy.
The coolness of the running water stole the remainders of our breaths as it flowed between us, making our bodies tense. His eyes caught mine, hooded and heated as he grabbed my chin and pulled me back into a kiss.
<
br /> I gasped into his mouth, shuddering from the sudden temperature change and the refreshing lick of liquid.
“You’re sopping wet,” I murmured, tilting my head as he kissed me deeper, and his fingers found their way into my hair.
“And you better be too,” he whispered, hot and dark. “Because I’m sure as shit hard.”
A lash of lust travelled from my heart to my core, tugging on strands and sensuality, preparing my body for whatever he wanted. “All you have to do is smile at me, Ren, and I’m wet.”
He attacked me with unbridled need. His kisses were pure velvet violence. “Don’t say things like that. I want this to last, not be over in seconds.”
“Then stop seducing me so well.”
We laughed together even as his hands stroked skin sore with cuts from last night’s war. His palms explored my back and spine, fisting handfuls of my ass as he yanked me forward and onto the straining erection in his jeans.
“Do you know how often I’ve stared at this?” His fingers kneaded me. “How I’d dream of seeing you naked and in my bed?” His lips parted wider over mine, directing the kiss from shallow hello to deep dance.
I moaned as he kissed me like all women wanted to be kissed—hungrily, fondly, passionately.
We kissed all night.
We kissed for a second.
And as we kissed, he rocked up into my bare core, his zipper as cold as the river, his hands holding me firm.
We were in perfect alignment for sex.
Pity he was still so encumbered.
Our thoughts vibrated to the same frequency—just like always—because he pushed me down his lap, giving him room for his hands to fumble at his belt.
“Let me.” I panted, partly from cold and mostly from need.
He clenched his jaw as I found his buckle and unthreaded the leather. I didn’t tease; I was just as starving as him. Popping his button and drawing down his zipper, my hand vanished into his boxers before he could push me away.
Steel-covered satin and sheer power. Holding Ren so intimately was like being given the keys to immortality.
His head fell back on a groan, nostrils flaring, hips rocking, granting me all the magic in the world.