SIXTEEN
There is no such thing
as the right mood to pray;
There is no such thing
as the right time to pray;
There is no such thing
as the right place to pray;
God wills us to pray,
not to deliberate over it.
Julius Mann, Collection, vol. 8, ch. 13
After four days of following Wuting and Jian down an endless number of Carlow streets, Roy was exhausted in body but enlivened in spirit. He had never witnessed such courage to display the faith in the resurrected Jesus Christ. It was simple but powerful. Roy knew the theology, and all the related doctrines, but he had never contemplated actually living it like the Two did. They boldly proclaimed Christ’s resurrection to the city, to anyone they saw, or just to empty streets. Wuting said it did not matter if there was no one there, just as long as they announced it to the city.
Each night Roy wrote down his thoughts on what he had seen. Miracles, signs, wonders; displayed with an invigorating mixture of boldness and love, all day long for four days. Seeing such works of God caused a silencing in Roy’s mind of the voices of the doubtful theologians; those who claimed such things were of another age, and were foreign to the modern world with its advances in science and thought. Roy wished he had joined the Two sooner; he had missed so much.
The arrival of Sunday meant the Two would stay at his home all day. They said it was their favourite to remember and celebrate the day their Lord rose from the dead never to die again. Roy also looked forward to the day, as he knew their church meeting would be better than anything he had ever run before. But he still wanted to follow a basic orderly pattern, with a time of singing and praise, and a time of teaching.
He prepared the lounge by setting up the chairs, with extra ones in case anyone brought a friend. Wuting and Jian stayed in their room, praying until the meeting began. Half an hour before the start, the first arrived. When Roy heard the urgent knock at the front door he imagined his guest shared his enthusiasm for the meeting. When he opened the door his heart sank.
“I take it you’re not happy to see me?” Suzanne said with a suppressed smile.
Roy did nothing to show her that he wanted her to enter his house. He stood in the doorway staring at her, with no smile or word of welcome. This time he was not prepared to let her dictate terms. He would not let her barge in and wreck their meeting. Once was enough. She would not get another chance to cause harm. This was to be a special meeting; his best ever.
“Can I come in?” she asked tentatively. “I know I’m early, but I wanted to talk with you before the service begins.”
“The service? What’s that got to do with you?”
“I know there’s a service on in your house today. You said last week for us to come back. I saw through your window just now, you were setting up some chairs. I want to attend, just like last week. Will those two Chinese guys be here again?”
“When I said come back, I was talking to my congregation, not you. I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome here.”
She went silent and looked at him sombrely, hurt. He looked back at those attractive green eyes and stopped himself recalling his memory of her.
“Look, I know you have every right to turn me away,” she said, “but I really need to talk to you. Just let me stay a few minutes. If you don’t want me to stay, I’ll leave before the service starts. What do you say? It’s all I ask.”
Roy had always prided himself on his ability to help people, to listen to their problems and offer counselling. That was when he had a bona fide church to preside over and a congregation to help. There was nothing he wanted more than to return to those days. He fought against his doubts and allowed himself to let her in. Her presence was already causing him to lose confidence, and he wished he could tell her to go away. In his current frame of mind he knew he could be so harsh with her that she would never be back. But as he looked into her eyes he saw the hurt, and even desperation. She needed help and someone to hear her. His heart could not bear it any longer. Without speaking, he stepped aside and opened the door for her. He knew Wuting and Jian would do the same.
She went through to the lounge. Roy checked on the Two, to hear if they were still praying. Satisfied they had not been disturbed, he closed the door to the hallway and looked to the lounge. He could see her sitting and facing away from him. Roy took a deep breath and told himself to be professional. It might be the last time he would have to see her, so he must show her how good a counsellor he was, and how he did not want her to be part of his life.
She had started smoking. Roy ignored it, thinking he would spray air-freshener about after she left.
“I’m part Pravan. Did you know that?” she asked him in-between long puffs. She was agitated, like she had much to tell. To Roy it was beginning to feel like a normal counselling session.
“No, I didn’t know that,” he said as he sat a couple of chairs away from her. There were few full-blooded Pravans left on St Antipas, and of those who had Pravan blood, they usually preferred to not admit it. What was left of their ancient culture was a few ruins with hieroglyphic carvings. Their language was lost long ago; their culture thought to have been too primitive to survive the modern era.
“They’ve always hated us. Why do you think we want to forget the old ways? We could never stand up to them. Our history is full of our submitting to them.”
“Them? Them who? Who are you talking about?”
“The Judaits,” she said as if it were obvious. “They put us under their feet since the first day they arrived.”
Roy had no idea why she wanted to talk about such a subject. He hoped he was not about to listen to another pet-theory, this one something to do with the Pravans and the Judaits. Roy was beginning to think he was back in his office listening to one of many such people who had odd ideas known only to them. He told himself he would soon be able to get rid of her.
“From what I know of Pravan and Judait relations,” he said, “the first settlers were a bit oppressive.”
“A bit oppressive? Is that what you call mass-murder?”
“But whatever happened back in the eighteenth century is long past. This is the twenty-first century. Your people have been treated fairly since at least the nineteenth.”
“Is that what you think? How would you know? Do you believe everything the Judaits tell you?”
“I happen to have a very good friend among them. And yes, I do believe that aspect of St Antipas history. Besides that, my church had been here since 1860, and we have always played our part to help the Pravan people."
“Did you know that was not our original name? They called us Pravan. Our actual name has been lost, and our language with it. Do you know what Pravan means? It was one of the worst names they could have given us. Did you know they still claim we had no actual language? They say we only communicated like animals. But they kindly rescued us from that and made us speak their so-called holy language. And you think the Judaits let your church onto the island? That’s a lie too.”
“How can you say that?” Roy asked with sympathy, still hopeful of calming her and finding the real source of her conflict. “All the history books tell us what happened.”
“I’ve done my homework on the real history. You’ve got to know; we’ve all got to know. On the mainland they’ve got information that you wouldn’t believe; the true history.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll tell you, don’t worry about that. Everyone had to know this. Around the 1850s this army from the mainland took over our island and forced the Judaits out. Did you know they have been expelled from every country in the world? St Antipas is no exception. Anyway, when they were expelled, that was when your church came in; they took their chance. But it wasn’t long before the Judaits came back; no one can keep them out. That was when they built that fortress of theirs, so that no one could ever make them leave again.”
“Suzanne, I’ve heard talk about
the Judaits and some of the things they used to do. But I have a good friend who is a respected monk of their order, and I can promise you, he is a sincere Christian. He wouldn’t harm a fly.”
“He’s still a Judait, isn’t he?”
“I promise you, they are not the same. And whatever may have happened a couple of centuries ago, can’t be changed by us.”
“You think they wouldn’t do the same thing today?” The tone of her voice showed that she was dead certain that they would.
“Of course not.”
Unimpressed, she took a draw of her cigarette.
“I’ve been inside the monastery,” Roy defended patiently, “and trust me, we have nothing but friends in there.”
“Yeah, sure we do.”
“Believe me, the Judaits are dedicated monks who are doing their best to make this a better society, the same as all the churches. Their prayer lives are truly amazing; I have never seen such dedication.” Except for the Two. “They are pious, godly men, seeking to help everyone in need.”
“That’s not what I’ve heard.”
“Might I suggest, you’ve heard wrong?”
“How do you know you’re not wrong?”
“I know I’m not.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’m sure, Suzanne. They are no different to me or any other Christians. Truly they are.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, I do,” Roy pushed, seeing she was starting to change her mind.
“They’ve done some pretty bad things to my people,” she said with a defiant shake of her head.
“I’ve discussed that with my Judait friend, and he is truly ashamed of what his predecessors have done.”
“He is?”
“Yes, Suzanne. But I really don’t see why you should want to discuss all this with me now,” Roy said kindly, hoping not to offend her. He hoped she did not have a similar problem with all denominations, as the Kingdomites could be as much in her line of fire as any of them. “If you would like, I could refer you to another counsellor, one more qualified in the area of race-relations.”
“It’s got everything to do with you, Roy,” she said with a raised voice.
“What do you mean?” he asked defensively, surprised.
“I’ve grown up here suppressing my Pravan background. I know you might think the Pravan background is nothing you want to think about, and that might be true. But it’s who I am, you know? I’ve read reports from archaeologists who’ve said the Pravans once had a flourishing civilisation, back around the fifth century BCE. They had cities and agriculture and everything. They even had a language that rivalled the ancient Egyptians, or the Incas.”
“I’m not saying they didn’t. But I don’t see what this has to do with me, or why you need to interrupt my church service.” Roy remembered that Jamieson said he wanted to attend their service. He hoped he would, so that Suzanne could meet him and see for herself what a gentleman he is and how genuine he is toward the Pravans.
“Just let me finish, all right?” Suzanne almost demanded. “My people had all that abundance and success, back over two-and-a-half thousand years ago. But then something happened. In the eleventh century these Christian missionaries came here. They were so oppressive to my people that in only a few generations they wiped out our culture, destroyed our cities, and wiped out our religion.”
“The eleventh century? Suzanne, the Judaits didn’t get here until the eighteenth, or don’t you believe that either?”
“I know that’s what they told us. But the fact is they are lying, to cover up for that fact it was their religion that turned us into the depraved people they called us.”
“I think you are going a little too far with this. History is all very interesting, but we should be careful not to think entirely of that, and lose track of what’s happening today.”
“This has got everything to do with today. When I found all this out I felt real bad about my so-called good Catholic upbringing. I got involved with some real bad people, real anti-Christian, you know? We sat around discussing how we could bring down Christianity. There were some real evil people among them, I can tell you. Had I known you were a Reverend that night when you picked me up, I might have tried to kill you.”
“Suzanne, I really think what you need to do is forgive the Judaits, and forgive all the Christians for what happened to your people. Forgiveness is extremely therapeutic. I can’t tell you how many I’ve counselled and encouraged to forgive those who had hurt them, and they all said to me that I was right, that they felt remarkably better. You must forgive them for your own well-being, not for them. The Judaits who committed crimes against your people are dead and gone, but you have your whole life in front of you. Forgiveness is the only way you can set yourself free.”
“That’s real easy for you to say, because you don’t know what they’re like. Or, what they were like.”
“Don’t worry about what I may or may not know. Just worry about yourself, about your own state of mind.”
“Well, I have been thinking about myself lately. I’ve decided I want to be a part of your little group here, if you don’t mind, that is.” Now she was speaking softly, and Roy knew she was sharing deeply guarded thoughts.
“I thought you just said you hated Christians,” he said gently.
“I did. That’s true. Until I sat in on your group last week. It made me think about what I knew about you people. Those two Chinese guys, they really showed me you have something real here, that you really believe in God, you know? I’m being honest here, you know? They have something I think I need, but I want to know more. That’s why I came back. The first time I was just trying to hassle you, I’ll admit that. But now I really am interested in your group.” She had forgotten about her cigarette, and she hastily put it out and back in its case.
“I thought you were just trying to get back at me.”
“I wanted something more from you. I wanted to see how you lived. When I found out you were a Reverend, I wanted to see your church, see what you looked like when you went through your religious ceremonies. What I found totally blew me away, you know?”
“You are welcome to stay and participate,” said Roy, bravely.
“What are their names, those two Chinese guys? They will be back, won’t they?”
“Their names are Wuting and Jian. Who they are is a little complicated to explain. Let’s just say they are visiting preachers, you know, like evangelists.”
Roy saw Suzanne was happy enough with that answer and he did not dwell on the subject. He left her alone while he went off to do some unfinished business. He had always dreamed of welcoming in an unconverted mixed-up type from off the streets, but now he was not so sure. He had no idea how much, if any, of her story was true. He really hoped she would leave, to give him some peace. But perhaps she was sincere about becoming a Christian; part of the multitudes saved under the influence of the 144,000. He hoped Wuting and Jian would continue to impress her with the faith, and impress him too.
And perhaps it would be better if Jamieson didn’t turn up; Suzanne might say something she didn’t really mean.
The meeting went as well as Roy expected. Shari-Anne arrived with her girls and Ida Zarman. Suzanne was most interested in speaking with all four, and she asked all kinds of questions about their faith. Lenny came with his guitar, and was so eager that he was strumming and singing when he arrived. When they began there was no sign of Jamieson. Roy was relieved for Suzanne’s sake, but saddened for Jamieson’s.
Roy had more control than the week before, mostly due to the fact that the Two were quieter. They looked tired and weak. Roy knew they had not eaten a thing since they had been with him, and he hoped they would soon ask him for some food. To his surprise, they requested that they all take communion. Roy only had two-day-old home-made fruit bread and apple juice, but the Two were more than pleased. Roy cut small pieces for him and the others, and left the rest of the loaf for the Two. Before t
hey ate they prayed for half-an-hour, giving thanks. Roy noticed Suzanne was moved by their prayer and dedication, as she wiped away several tears from her eyes.
When Roy announced the end of the meeting, the Two stood at the door and said farewell to each person like it was the last time they would meet. Suzanne spent some time talking with Wuting, and Roy tried to act casual when he noticed that she was still wiping tears from her eyes.
She’s impressed by them!
After she left, the last to go, Roy consulted with Wuting, with Jian listening.
“I think you should have been a little easier with her, Wuting. She’s a bit confused, and has many things on her mind, things she needs to sort out, and people to forgive. I was hoping a friend of mine was going to attend out service. I’m sure he could help her overcome her anxieties.”
“We told her what the Spirit told us to tell her.”
“What did you say to her? I saw she was crying.”
“We told her what we told you. I come from Zhengping city in Henan Province. Jian comes from Sichuan Province, from a remote village. She knows more about China than you, Roy. She asked about how we met, since both out home towns are a thousand kilometres apart. We tell her we never met before we come here, but know each other through unity of the Spirit.”
“Wuting, I wouldn’t think she believed you.”
“That is no problem. You did not believe us either.”
“I believe you now. I’ve followed you for four days. I can see by the extraordinary things you do that God is with you. I have no doubt about that.”
“You have learned much, and we are pleased for you. You could have learned more, but you have done okay.”
“I’m still willing to learn from you.”
“From now on you will learn from the Spirit alone. We are going.”
“You’re going on another street walk? I thought you didn’t go out on Sundays.”
“You did not see us break our fast? We have finished here. We are going home.”
“You’re leaving? I thought you were staying here for seven years.”
“Seven years? Why did you think that, Roy?” Wuting asked with amusement. He told Jian, who then looked at Roy with his mouth open and eyes wide.
“Well, I don’t know. I guess I thought St Antipas was your assigned place during this time.”
“We were only sent here for a brief time. Now we are going. We hope you do well from what you have learned, and learn much more from the Holy Spirit. Pray much, Roy.”
“Where are you going to, then?”
“Home.”
“Home? China? You mean you’re going to evangelise China?”
“You think too highly of us, Roy,” Wuting said with a happy laugh. “We are only humble servants of our Lord Jesus Christ. China is in hands of many others, and perhaps us too, if we are called. For now, we are going home to wives and families. Maybe we will be back, or maybe others will come. We will leave it in the Lord’s hands.”
“Did you say wives? Whose wives do you mean?”
“Yes, our wives, and our children. I have three young ones and Jian has one on the way.” He exchanged some words with Jian and then confirmed for Roy, “Two months yet until his dear wife give birth.”
“Wait a minute, I don’t understand. How can you have wives?”
Wuting looked puzzled at his question and began speaking with Jian.
“You haven’t got children,” Roy interrupted. “They can’t be your children.” Roy was beginning to raise his voice to them, searching for a clear answer. They both looked startled, uncertain how to react.
“Roy, do you not understand?” Wuting asked as he put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “In China our church leaders are allowed to marry and have children. We know you are not allowed to marry. We pray you do what is best, that you will leave your church if you must. We serve one Lord; he paid a price for us not for us to become slaves of men.”
“But I thought you guys were not allowed to marry.”
“Why did you think that?”
“It says it in the Bible.”
“It does?” Wuting asked with genuine surprise. “Where?”
Roy went to get his Bible, which was on the chair where he left it after the meeting. He roughly turned to the fourteenth chapter of Revelation.
“Right here,” he said as he showed them the text. “‘And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins.’ You see?” he insisted.
“That is about the 144,000, from Revelation, is it not?” asked Wuting.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Roy, you are full of confusion. You don’t know what is happening all around you. Open your eyes and see. You are surrounded by ravenous wolves about to devour you.”
“What are you talking about? Are you part of the 144,000 or not?”
“We do not know what that means, about the 144,000. We think it may be symbolic of all Christians, but we don’t know for sure, and will not know until the Spirit reveals it to our hearts. For now we know we are pure from the harlot of Revelation, which is the spirit of false religion, which lives strong in your city. If that interpretation is right, then we are of the 144,000, and so are you, Roy.”
“Are you telling me you’re not two of the super-evangelists?”
“The what?”
“The 144,000. The super-evangelists who go out after the rapture and convert thousands, and millions.”
“How can that be? Do you think the rapture has happened?”
“Of course it’s happened. Don’t you know anything that’s being happening here? Over 87,000 are missing from St Antipas alone. It happened just before you arrived. Didn’t you know that?”
“We have only been here eleven days. We do not know what goes on here before that, except we know it was very bad.”
“Look, I know it was the rapture, and I don’t see how you two couldn’t be two of the super-evangelists of the end-times. If you’re not then you would have been in the rapture.”
“Roy, the rapture did not happen in China. How could it have happened here?”
“Perhaps it did happen in China and you didn’t notice.”
“Didn’t notice? The rapture?”
“You might have been praying, and walking around, or something.”
“Roy, I think the only things that were raptured in China was us. And we came here, not to the clouds to meet Christ our Lord, as the scriptures promise, but here to your lounge to meet you.”
“I don’t know what else to think, Wuting. This world’s gone completely crazy over the last few weeks.”
“Roy, we must warn you, if you will listen. This conversation is full of confusion and we should stop. We need to warn you, we see in the spirit you are surrounded by ravenous wolves seeking to devour you.”
“You do? You can see that?”
“We beg you to trust no one after the flesh, only by the spirit. You must test every spirit, for many false spirits have gone out into the world. We see many around you trying to be a friend to you, who are full of deceit, laying a trap for you. Our presence with you kept them from you. When we go you will be in great danger. We beg you, pray often, pray continually in the spirit, so you are able to fight the good fight.”
“Who are these people, these wolves? Can you identify them for me? Do you know their names?”
“We do not know any more than what I have told you. We only saw them in a vision, in the spirit. They could be anybody. You be careful, Roy. Pray to God, that he will show you. We will go now.”
“Now? You’re leaving now? Wait, I have one more thing I must ask you. If the rapture hasn’t happened, then what happened to the people, the missing 87,000? Where are they? Will they be coming back? A lot of my friends were with them; most of my church. It must
have been the rapture; there’s no other answer. And what about the graves? I haven’t told you about the graves. You must believe the rapture’s happened when you hear about the graves.”
“We pray you find answers to your questions. We do not know. If we did, we would tell you.”
“Can’t you ask God, for me?”
“He has not told us. If he did, we would tell you.”
“Then, what’ll I do?”
“You pray, Roy. Pray for everything.”
The Two began to pray where they stood. Roy bowed his head and listened to Wuting and Jian speaking quietly. It did not matter that it was in their own language; he felt he could understand by their tone. Then they stopped and Roy waited, not daring to open his eyes until he heard the last Amen. After waiting a while without hearing anything, he peeked, and found himself alone.