SEVENTEEN
The fruit of all evil is power over people.
Julius Mann, Sermons, vol. 1, ch. 15
The TCS sang out in the darkness of two-thirty in the morning. Barely awake and without opening his eyes, Roy swung his hand out from under the sheets to tap the controls. Without moving his head from his pillow he mumbled a hello.
“Get out! Get out now!” the voice screamed at him, so loud that it was distorted.
Roy’s drowsy head could not comprehend anything about the call or caller. “You what?” he asked as he propped himself up by an elbow and looked with disbelief at the time.
“Roy, they’re coming for you, right now! You’ve got to get out of there!” It was a woman.
“Who is this?”
“Don’t worry about me, just get yourself out of there!”
“Is that Suzanne?”
She was talking with so much panic in her voice that it was hard for Roy to really know if it was the same person. But the more she talked the more he knew it had to be her.
“They coming for you, Roy. I’m so sorry. I’ll explain later, but just get yourself out of there.”
“Who’s coming?”
“Just get out! Please. I’m sorry, but I can’t let them get you.”
She closed the call; gone without another word. Roy remained motionless for a few moments. A pain shot through his head and made it throb. He remembered he had been in the middle of a vivid dream; he half-wondered if the call was not somehow mixed up with the dream. He got out of bed and went to get a drink. He asked himself if he should advise Suzanne to get psychiatric treatment, or at least some kind of decent counselling.
As he sipped from fruit juice he contemplated what she said. He wondered if it was the result of a night’s drinking—or worse—and she was hallucinating. Then he remembered something about what she told him, that she was involved with some bad people—evil, she called them—who wanted to bring down Christianity.
They haven’t done a very good job about it, he thought as he remembered the conference for church leaders.
He looked at his sole piece of clothing; loose underwear, not very presentable. He went to put on his trousers, and laughed at himself as he thought he was becoming paranoid. But he still wanted to leave his trousers on, at least for a few more minutes. He picked up a T-shirt but then discarded it, thinking that would be going too far.
He went to the window and opened the curtain. The street was dark and lifeless. None of the neighbouring houses had any light on. It was a sleepy and peaceful night. An engine could be heard in the distance, and then headlights lit up the street hear the corner. Roy watched it with interest, thinking that if he really was a paranoid person then he would have started running. He played with the idea, as if he were still asleep. His best escape route would be out the guest room window. He remembered the shrubs below that window. They would make it difficult, but that way out was probably the fastest.
He told himself to watch the vehicle drive past his house and away into the night so then he could go back to bed in peace. It was a darkly-painted van, and it was cruising the street. It slowed outside the Thompson’s house and eased up closer to Roy’s. The headlights went dead and Roy watched in amazement as it turned to face his drive. Quietly, it then moved up his drive and stopped. The windows were tinted and Roy could see nothing of who was inside.
The van!
He was overwhelmed with fear. His heart pounded quickly. His breathing was short. He backed away from the window as he heard a slide-door roll open.
With sheer terror driving him, he charged into the guest room opposite his bedroom and went for the window latches. Then he heard the lock on his front door being worked at. He pushed open the window and looked at the ground below. He could only see dark shadow, and he briefly doubted if he should attempt to jump into the shrubs.
His front door was smashed in. They were in his hall. They were running.
He threw himself out, not caring how much it might hurt, and he became entangled in leaves and branches and twigs. He heard the intruders invading his bedroom and he knew they had ignored the guest room. He pushed the window shut, just before the room was swept with torch light. He crashed out of the shrubs, ignoring both how prized they were to him and how much pain the sharp twigs gave his bare feet. He ran along the side of the house with his back hunched, trying to stay below the windows.
Once free from the house, he sprinted to the gap in the neighbour’s fence. His feet thumped the ground, and he was sure it must have alerted them. Without looking back, he ran to the other end of his neighbour’s property, and scaled the fence to the house behind. He knew to avoid the house nearest his own, which had numerous vicious dogs. He ignored his crying feet as he ran through the new property and out to the street. When he was on the footpath he looked back to see if he had been followed. It was quiet. He had escaped them. But he was still shaking.
How did they know? he asked himself. It puzzled him how they knew to avoid the guest room. They knew which room to go to.
He slowly walked the block, watching out to avoid any traffic. When he came close to the corner before his house he walked slow, easing his way nearer. His house looked quiet. He went closer and still saw no life. He climbed the low fence that bordered the footpath and hid behind a tall shrub next to the house. Taking a few moments to build more courage, he peered around the shrub to see the drive. The van was gone. He looked up and down the street, to be sure. He told himself that just because the van was gone, all of the intruders had not necessarily gone with them.
He cautiously went back into the house, through the guest room window, to avoid any broken glass that may be by the front door. He found the stunner in the drawer next to his bed and felt more confident once he had it in his grasp. Still unsure if he was really alone, he stuffed some clothing into a bag and put on his shoes.
He ran to his garage with more fear than when the van was there. He dropped the keys by the garage door and when he bent down he stayed there as he heard another vehicle cruising near. This one had a big motor that echoed around the street. He recognised it at once. It was the Thompson brothers’ car. He told himself that he should ignore it; they were always arriving home at odd hours. Then he realised something was different. They had their lights off. The lights, always set on a full beam, the ones that would light up his and everyone else’s house at all hours of the night, were switched off.
Needing no further warning, he dived and lay flat in his cultivated flower bed, just as the car turned and moved up his drive. They left the motor running as the hand-brake went on and the doors opened simultaneously. Roy did not move a muscle as two pairs of heavy footsteps raced up the cobblestone path to his door. He heard them moving through his house, swearing and cursing, kicking furniture and smashing glass.
Roy switched on his stunner and held it ready to use. He knew they would be carrying far more lethal weapons, but at least he had something. He recalled Wuting and Jian’s method of defending themselves; the sword of the Spirit. Roy wished he had their faith. He resolved right there and then that if he could escape this situation then he would pray until he got it.
When they came back out they were swearing more violently, upset over not finding what they wanted. One was berating the other, saying he told him “the fool” would not be there, and they should have believed “them”.
They boarded their car and violently backed out with screeching tires. The bold headlights blared out, nearly blinding Roy. Hearing them drive away, he assured himself that they had not seen him, trying to become convinced that it was now safe to move. He went to his car and contemplated if he should follow them. But when he backed out to the street he wanted to do nothing but drive in the opposite direction. Either courage had deserted him or he was starting to act wisely; at that moment he had no idea which of the two it was.
After spending the rest of the night in his car, sleeping in fearful half-hour bursts, Roy decided that he could not return
to his house. He contemplated calling the police, but he could not be sure if he trusted them. Each time he had called them over the last few weeks he always had the feeling they were more interested in him than in his report.
Wuting and Jian’s final words to him now seemed so very true. The wolves were indeed all around him. The Thompson brothers. The intruders, whoever they were; perhaps the same as the ones he had disturbed at Doug Paull’s. Perhaps they did the same to the Carters, who had no one to warn them.
And Suzanne. He now knew that she must be one of the wolves. But if that were true, he could not understand why she called him. He did not know if she was warning him, or if it was all part of some plan devised against him. From his car he looked out over the outskirts of Carlow, wondering if the entire city was against him.
Ida Zarman’s house seemed the safest place to go. She welcomed him in without asking for too much detail as to why he needed to stay. She was so hospitable that it was almost embarrassing. She acted like a grandmother with her grandchild come to stay for the weekend. She moved the furniture around in the guest room, changed the sheets on the bed, and found pillows from various cupboards throughout her small house. Roy was too tired to bother asking her to stop fussing over him. He welcomed the help, but he could not bring himself to tell her about the intruders.
The next morning the NewsText headline heralded the latest announcement from the GlobalFaith Council. Roy had forgotten about them, and was surprised to hear they were still in discussions and listening to daily reports from the Vatican. He needed to read the announcement several times before he fully grasped it. Ida put her hands to her mouth as soon as she saw it. She read it out, making it easier for Roy to believe.
“To assist in the recovery of all peoples from the October crisis and to guide all true faiths to a common solace, Pope John XXV in conjunction with all recognised religious leaders has announced the requirement of all religious meetings to proceed in a common unity while retaining their unique and understandable diversity. It is highly encouraged that no religious meeting will proceed without the approval of GlobalFaith.”
Ida looked at Roy for a reaction.
“I never believed they would do it,” he said as he read it through again.
“But what does it mean for us?”
“It means we are no longer free to hold a religious meeting of any sort without their knowledge, or their control. This is it, Ida; the time of the end, when all religions are controlled and run as one unified faith. That end-times book is right again. It said they would do this, and it’s happening right before our eyes.”
“How dreadful.”
“Yes, it’s not very nice. But don’t you think it carries a bit of excitement with it, all the same?”
“Excitement?”
“It’s like being on the front lines. Here it is, happening right in front of us, right here on St Antipas.”
“Reverend, I’ve had about all the front line battles I want during my missionary days.”
“Ida, when I followed Wuting and Jian around, as they preached in town, I was amazed at what I saw. They took our faith so seriously, more than I ever imagined. The words of the Bible were real to them; real enough, I mean, to act on. I always thought anyone like that was a fanatic. They had something about them, something special.”
“I know what you mean, Reverend. They moved powerfully in the Holy Spirit. Just as they did in the Bible.”
“They certainly changed my idea about moving in the Spirit.” He looked back to the screen. “And about what is really from God.”
“I don’t know about this ruling, Reverend. Perhaps it isn’t too bad after all. Isn’t it just intended for the big churches? It won’t affect us, will it, with our little lounge-church? Surely they don’t include us?”
“I don’t know how far they will go in their definition of a religious meeting. Surely they won’t take the verse, ‘where one or two are gathered in my name, there I am with them,’ and use that as their starting point? No, they might just do that.”
“Our little lounge-church? How can that be a threat to them?”
“Ida, it could be that they will define a religious meeting as two people discussing anything religious. That would mean our lounge-church would have to be reported and approved.”
“Oh well,” she said casually. “How bad can it be to just go ahead and report out little meeting?”
“I think the reason they would want to know about our meetings is so they can control them.”
“But we can still keep meeting at your house, all the same? They wouldn’t really want to control what you teach, would they?”
“I have no doubt they would, yes. Besides, I don’t think Chichester would consider approving a lounge-church for one minute. It is totally unprecedented in our church history. They would order me to stop.”
“In that case, we won’t tell them; not Chichester, not anyone.”
Roy looked at her and wondered if she fully understood what she was saying. “Ida, you do realise that if we go on with our meeting without their approval, it would probably mean we were breaking the law. Not just church law, but state law; international law, even.”
“How can what we do be illegal? I thought they said it was highly encouraged to report to them, or something like that. What makes you think it might be illegal?”
“It’s not illegal at the moment, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it will be shortly. These things, these law changes, they can start off relatively harmless and get more restrictive as they go on. GlobalFaith is a powerful group.”
“Well, first of all, can we be sure they would not approve of us if we told them? After all, the Kingdom churches are well respected in the community. Aren’t you getting worried for nothing?”
“No, I don’t. Seeing we are in the last days, and the Great Tribulation is at hand, I don’t think we should let our right hand know what our left hand is doing, regarding meeting together in worship and prayer. Our type of meeting is exactly the type they would want to shut down. That’s a big part of the end-times scenario; religious control. And it will get worse. Not long ago, I would have scoffed at such words. But now I believe it.”
“Well, I can tell you, as far as I am concerned, I don’t care what they might threaten me with; I’m not going to give up my right to worship my Lord. And I’m certainly not going to let them govern how I worship him.”
Seeing Ida’s defiance made Roy pleased enough to make him start laughing with delight. At first Ida did not know why he was laughing, and when he explained it to her she insisted all the more that was how she felt. She recalled for him several stories of her days on the missionary field in the 1970s and ‘80s, in places where similar restrictions were enforced. Roy became more encouraged when he heard about her experiences. He could not wait for next Sunday’s meeting.
He informed Lenny and Shari-Anne that they would be using Ida’s home as the place of worship. Neither made any comments about the new religious restrictions, and Roy guessed that they wanted to act like it was not real.
He thought he should call Suzanne, but then decided she should be left alone. He still did not know if her early-morning call was a good or bad thing. He knew it was good in that she had warned him, but it was also bad because she knew that the men were coming to get him. What side she wanted to be on was up to her, not Roy. For the first time he realised that he did not know her surname, and that was a good enough excuse to think that he didn’t know her well enough to call her and maybe he needed to forget about her. But when the next Sunday service came around, Suzanne was the first to arrive. It turned out that Shari-Anne had told her about the change to Ida’s place.
Roy was worried that Suzanne might say something about her warning call in front of Ida. But she said nothing about it and acted like nothing had happened. She even seemed relaxed when they sang the opening hymn. By then the others were there: Shari-Anne and her two girls, and Lenny. Their group was getting smaller, and much quiet
er without the Two.
“As you can see,” Roy said to the group, “our numbers are two less than last week. Our friends Wuting and Jian have departed for home. I sorry that I could not have told you last week, but they only broke the news to me after the meeting ended, when everyone had left.”
“I’m so sad to hear that, Reverend,” said Ida. “They were such nice boys.”
“That one named Jian, I think,” said Shari, “he was a little quiet. But the other one—what was his name?—he said some good stuff.”
“You mean Wuting,” said Roy.
“Yeah,” said Shari. “The bits Wuting quoted from the Bible were really inspiring. And what he said about them, I’ve never seen that before. I didn’t know any of that was in the Bible.”
“Jian couldn’t speak English,” Roy explained. “Except when prophesying.”
“What church did they come from?” asked Shari.
“I never asked them. I’m not familiar with what denominations they have in China. I wish I had known more about their country before they arrived.”
“Did you not know they were coming, Reverend?”
“I didn’t, no.”
“Well, they were nice boys,” she said.
“But surely you know what church sent them?” asked Shari.
“Don’t you get it?” Lenny said to Shari with agitation, startling her and everyone. “They were two of the 144,000, sent out by God to save the world! They’ve gone wherever God’s sent them. But now they’re done with us; we’ve got to fend for ourselves. Isn’t that right, Reverend?”
“Well,” said Roy, “I no longer think they were part of the 144,000, Lenny. Perhaps in a broader view of that prophecy, they were part of those saved by the Lamb, as are we. I really don’t think they were two of the supposed ‘super-evangelists’ that you might read about in certain books.”
“Of course they were!” Lenny said with a raised voice as he stood and walked to the door. “And they’ve finished their work here and have moved on. We are the only ones left in the city.”
“They are both married men. That means they are not qualified to be part of the 144,000 super-evangelists.”
“I know they have wives and children back in China,” Lenny said with a wild wave of his arms. “So what? All that stuff about the 144,000 ‘not defiling themselves with women’, that’s just symbolic. I found out about them long before you did, that they were married, but I’ve figured it out. It just means spiritual purity, and they sure do qualify for that. I’ve got no doubt who they were. But now they’ve gone and left us. Now we’ve got to fend off the Beast on our own. Do you have any idea what they might do to us if they find us meeting together like this?”
“Lenny, I think you should calm down,” said Roy.
“They’ll behead us, that’s what they’ll do.”
The others gasped.
“That’s what is says in Revelation,” he told them.
“Lenny, no one’s going to behead you,” said Roy.
“Sure they are! Revelation twenty, four: ‘I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus’. How do we know that isn’t what happened to the Carters?”
“What are you talking about, Lenny?” asked Ida, worried. “What’s happened to the Carters?”
“Nothing,” Roy said as an automatic response. He then realised that if he was ever going to be completely truthful, it would be a good time to start. “I mean to say, the Carters have gone missing.”
“Where have they gone?” asked Shari, clearly upset. Her two girls followed her reaction.
“The Reverend thinks they’ve been raptured,” said Lenny, “in some sort of ongoing-rapture thing. I’d never heard of that before, but he thinks it’s what happened to them. But I think we can’t know what happened, and it’s far too dangerous to go looking for them.”
“You think they’ve been raptured, Reverend?” asked Shari. “How can that be? I thought we’ve already had the rapture a couple of weeks ago, and I saw them since then.”
“The Reverend thinks the rapture is an individual experience,” said Lenny, “or something like that, although I’ve never heard of anyone else saying that before.”
“It seems perfectly reasonable to me,” Roy said with a slightly raised voice, wanting Lenny to sit back down and be quiet, “to say the rapture experience will happen at various times throughout the last seven years.”
“How can that be?” asked Shari.
“Well,” Roy began, wishing the room was not full of so much tension. He planned to explain his idea to them at some point, when he had studied the prophesies to find scriptures to support him, and also not when the atmosphere was so charged. “Due to what I have observed these last few weeks, it appears that only those who are spiritually mature, who have the spotless garments described in Revelation, will be the ones who can go to heaven. For us who still remain, we must work at getting our faith strong, so we can be counted worthy of being raptured to heaven.”
“Is that what happened to the Carters?” asked Shari.
“It appears so,” said Roy.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard such an idea,” said Ida.
‘It explains what’s going on around us,” said Roy. “To me, it makes sense.”
“It doesn’t make any sense to me,” said Lenny. “Not anymore.”
“Is it what’s happened to Wuting and Jian?” asked Suzanne.
Roy was surprised that Suzanne would want to ask a question on the subject, knowing she probably knew nothing about the rapture prophesy. He then thought she may be sincere; affected by the Two as much as was Bern.
“No, they’ve gone back home, I believe,” Roy said to her. “That’s what they told me, anyway.”
“Well, if those two weren’t counted worthy for heaven,” said Shari, “then none of us ever will be; that’s for sure. I’ve never seen such devoted Christians. They were real Christians, not pretenders, not hypocrites. You could tell they really believed all this stuff, this Bible stuff. Their prayers were so strong, so real. I wanted to ask them what church they belonged to, so me and the girls could go there. No offence, Reverend, but you’ve got to admit, they really had something.”
“You see how he’s wrong?” Lenny interrupted as Roy was about to give his reply to Shari. “It’s more likely they’ve been beheaded by the Beast! We’re all going to get it sooner or later, if we try to defy him. I don’t know if we’re better off just saving ourselves and going along with the whole thing. It’s too much to take on, not unless you’re Wuting and Jian. I tried doing what they did, but it’s all too much for me. It’s too much for any of us! We’re not like them!”
Roy tried to take hold of Lenny’s arm but he slipped away and ran for the door. Roy followed down the short hallway but gave up at the door. The others came up behind him and they all watched Lenny fire up his scooter and then ride off down the street without looking back.
“We need to pray he overcomes his fear,” said Ida. “He’s a very emotional boy, and he needs sound guidance.”
Her words made such sense that no one made any comment as they slowly returned to their seats and did their best to resume the meeting. As they sang another hymn Roy looked over what was left of his congregation. Ida was proving to be a pillar he could not do without. Shari-Anne and her two well-behaved girls at least made up the numbers. Roy was pleased to hear Shari speaking more and how impressed she was by the Two. He could see she was happy, and even feeling more at home.
And Suzanne. She was singing the songs like she knew them. Roy could still not determine what her intentions were, but he told himself he needed to trust her while she was not doing anything to disrupt the meeting. He wanted to ask her about her mysterious call, but then felt he needed to wait for her to explain it, if she wanted.
Roy asked them to turn to the Gospel of St Luke, chapter fifteen, verses three to seven, which was the background to his carefully prepared sermon.
“‘And he spake t
his parable unto them, saying, What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he finds it.’”
Ida gasped aloud and put a hand to her mouth. Roy glanced at her and then carried on reading.
“‘And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”
Roy slowly closed his Bible and looked up, ready to commence his sermon. Then he saw their sad faces. Even Shari’s two girls looked like they were about to burst into tears.
“What’s wrong?” he asked them.
“What are you going to do?” Shari asked as she tore three tissues from a small box in her handbag and handed two to her girls.
“I’m going to begin my sermon.”
“She means about Lenny,” said Suzanne. She was as upset as Shari, but she showed it by being angry at Roy.
“Well, we will pray for him, that he will return to us.” As Roy said the words he realised what they were thinking. “Surely you don’t think the parable ...?”
“Reverend,” Ida said as if she had made up her mind and was addressing him like she would a grandchild, “I think you should go after that young, emotional lost sheep, before he gets too far away.”
Roy was about to argue that it was just coincidence that he had selected those verses. Then he saw that they were actually expecting him to follow the parable, as if it was the Lord himself directing him. And he could think of no good reason to put up an argument.
“I’ll go after him,” he said.
“I should think you would,” said Suzanne.
“God’s speed, Reverend,” said Ida.
“We can keep the meeting going until you get back,” said Shari.
As Roy drove to Lenny’s home he kept shaking his head in disbelief. He had never known of anyone putting a parable into practice. He had learned that they were only allegories: pictures to illustrate spiritual truth. He wondered what his professors would make of one of their students thinking the parable were literal instructions for everyday life. The professors taught that the parables’ implications should find use in daily life, but not to the extent of a Good Samaritan going down the street looking for someone recently mugged and left for dead; helping him, bandaging him up, putting him in his car, putting him up in a nice hotel with all expenses paid.
When he found the right address, Roy could not remember when he had last been there to pay Lenny a visit. He assumed that his deacons, Grant and John, made visits that he could not. The address was part of a large block of identical rooms, none of them giving the resemblance of places for people to live. The door he wanted was near the street, and as Roy knocked he tried to think of something to say that would not frighten away a “lost sheep”.
The door opened and Lenny hastened him inside. The door opened right into the main room.
“Sorry, Reverend,” Lenny said as he relocked the door, “but I don’t want anyone seeing you here. And I would prefer you didn’t come here. In fact, I would prefer you didn’t come here again. I don’t think I’m cut out for all this ‘last days’ stuff, you know? I don’t think I could stand up to the persecution, so what’s the point of trying to defy it?”
Roy almost missed what he said. He was too stunned by the condition of the room. The walls were stained and dripping with moisture. What was left of the carpet was tattered and full of holes. The window was bars covered with a sheet of plastic. A stool and an old mattress covered in blankets and clothes were the only furniture. There was no TCS except for an old telephone. The only feature to the room was Lenny’s old scooter that was parked next to the door. The only other rooms were what appeared to be a kitchen and the smallest of bathrooms, both of which were filthy.
“You live here, Lenny?”
“Yeah. Look, did you hear what I said? I don’t want you here, man. I’ve had enough of all this ‘last days’ stuff; I don’t want to be persecuted!”
Roy looked at him and thought about how he was always nicely dressed and never gave anyone the impression he needed money. He remembered that he always paid his weekly tithe.
“I thought your parents supported you while you continued your studies. Is this all they gave you?”
“No, I lied about them. I lied about it all. I work as a cleaner, all night, six nights a week. See? I don’t even deserve to pretend to be a Christian. It was all a lie. What do you think about me now, Reverend, now you know the truth about me? See how I’ll never make it?”
“You’re still a Christian, Lenny; don’t worry about that. We all make mistakes, and we can all repent and seek forgiveness.”
He was nearly going to compare himself to a shepherd and Lenny to a lost sheep, but he did not want to offend him. He then realised that at times he himself was just as much a lost sheep as Lenny. He wished Wuting and Jian were still with them.
“But I don’t care about it anymore,” said Lenny. “I’ve had enough of it. Maybe I should go back to my parents. They’re Hindu, you know? They kicked me out. They said their son was dead, and I was a stranger. They said that to my face. Can you believe that? Now I see that was all for nothing. I’m going back to them to start over as a good Hindu.”
“Lenny, I want you to come back to the group. Come with me now. We need your expert guitar playing,” he added with a smile.
“Man, I’m not going through any Great Tribulation!”
“Lenny, calm down.”
“Do you know what’s coming? I don’t want to be beheaded!”
He grabbed Roy by his arms and began to force him to the door. Roy was surprised at his strength, but more for the fact that he would do such a thing, and he fought to stay.
“Remember the Two?” Roy asked as a last resort to bring Lenny to his senses. “You enjoyed being with them.”
“I’ll never be as good as them.”
“Of course you can be.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“No, really.”
“How about you? Do you think you’ll ever match them?”
Roy could not give an honest answer. He said nothing, which was all the confirmation Lenny needed.
“I’m not coming under the war of the Beast!” he shouted as he shoved Roy to the door.
“But you prayed with them!”
“I’ve had enough of this, don’t you understand?”
“You sang with them; the new songs.”
“I don’t care anymore. Get out!”
Lenny opened the door and Roy lost his balance. He fell through the doorway and down the steps, and crashed hard into a dirty wooden fence. He quickly stood and dusted himself off. Lenny slammed the door shut and locked it.
With a start, Roy remembered himself pushing Alex away at the leaders’ meeting. Now Lenny had done it to him. He asked himself if Lenny saw him as overbearing, like Alex was at the conference. Was I acting the same way to Lenny as Alex was to me?
He wondered if he had ever acted that way to his deacons, or church board, or congregation. Was he doing it now with the lounge-church? Right there and then he told himself he would no longer act in such a way, that he would be gentle and let people do as they wished, without first having his approval. He knew that such a decision would be difficult to put into practice, after years of watching over his church with close scrutiny.
Seeing the door still closed and Lenny nowhere in sight, he decided to leave him be, and go back to the meeting alone. He managed a wry smile on the way, as he thought about how the parable gave no instructions on what to do when the lost sheep fights back and is quite happy to stay where it is.
When he returned to Ida’s home he was amazed to hear beautiful singing. He did not recognis
e the song, or the one who was singing the loudest. He hoped his bad news would not dampen their enthusiasm.
He was startled to see Suzanne standing with her hands raised, eyes tightly shut, face shining. The others were doing the same but Suzanne was the most fervent. No one had ever done such a thing in one of his church services, since it was not encouraged in the Kingdomite church. Roy waited a few minutes until they finished what he assumed was a prayer inspired by the Holy Spirit. When he told them that Lenny did not want to come back, Ida immediately led them in a prayer for him.
“I’ve confessed,” Suzanne said to Roy when Ida finished her prayer, and she was bubbling with excitement and relief, acting like she was giving him the best of good news.
“You’ve confessed to what? Knowing about the van? About your friends? I would like to hear about that too, actually.”
“No, Roy, it was something more important, more personal. I confessed about you and me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told them about us. About that night when he first met at that nightclub. I know you probably didn’t think too much of it, but I can’t help remembering, and wishing I could tell someone, and be forgiven for it.”
Roy felt weak as a rush of realisation went through him, and he fought to keep himself calm. What have you done!
“It was so wonderful when I confessed it to them,” she continued, unaware of Roy’s reaction. “It was like a burden’s been lifted off me. I just feel overwhelmed by this sense of love, that could only come from God. Roy, I know he’s real and that he loves me. I know that now. All I had to do was confess my sins to him, the sins that have weighed me down, and seek his forgiveness. All this time, I have been keeping so many secrets to myself. That one, especially, was only hurting my friendship with everyone; with Ida and Shari and the girls, and with you. And the Lord. You should confess too, Roy.”
“It will be good for you,” Ida encouraged him.
“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” he responded. “She’s lying, about whatever she said about me, it’s not true.”
“You know it’s true,” said Suzanne, hurt by his denial.
“I know there can be nothing true about whatever you said,” he continued, too fast and a little panicked. “I’ve never seen you before you turned up at our meeting a couple of weeks ago. You saw me on TC and thought you’d hassle me. Now you waiting until I was gone to start telling lies. Why? What do you want out of me? What do you want out of my church? Are you trying to sabotage what’s left of us? How did you know about that van? Who broke into my house? Who were they? Confess that, if you are going to confess anything.”
“Roy, I can’t believe you’re still trying to deny our night together. The truth is out now. You are free to admit it. The others want to show they forgive you.”
“Forgive me? I’m their Reverend. You’re good, aren’t you; trying to destroy me in front of my church, in front of the children?” he asked with a smile, looking to the others for support. “And what was all that about the Judaits and the Pravans? That was just to fool me?”
“Reverend,” Ida said with sternness, “we believe every word Suzanne has said. Unless you confess your sin and apologise to poor Suzanne here for what you are now accusing her of—”
“Come on, Ida. Surely you don’t believe her?”
“—then you are no longer welcome in this group.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean it, Reverend. You will have to leave.”
“Leave?”
“Leave.”
“You can’t be serious?”
“She’s speaking for all of us,” said Shari.
“But I’m the Reverend here.”
“You know where the door is,” said Ida. “Please leave now.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“Please go,” Ida said with more force to her voice.
Roy looked to Suzanne and then to the others. He was outnumbered and he could think of nothing else to say. He slowly turned for the door, hoping one of them will call him back.
Ida followed him to the door. “On second thoughts ...”
“Yes?”
“You can collect all your things first. I don’t want you staying in my house any longer. Not until you can look me in the eye and tell me the truth.”
It was the last thing he wanted, but he did what she asked and left.