EIGHTEEN
The man that searcheth for his own glory will miss God’s;
The man that searcheth for God’s glory must forsake his own.
Julius Mann, Reflections, ch. 3
Rick Rheem ran up to Roy’s car as he found a place in the car park building next to the conference hall. “Good to see you, Roy,” he said with his familiar smile as Roy opened the door.
Roy was unshaven and his back ached after a night in the car. He hoped Rick would not ask him about it. “I hope I haven’t missed too much,” he said to his friend as they walked through to the foyer.
“You sure have. Where’ve you been? You’ve missed some tremendous moves in establishing world unity. This GlobalFaith council, and the pope’s hard work, is beginning to make a significant difference in the world. This is like nothing that’s ever happened before, and little old St Antipas is keeping up with the world on this one.”
“You look excited about it, Rick.”
“That’s because I am excited. Aren’t you?”
“Of course, yes.”
Roy was happy to say anything to his friend, just to make sure there was no hostility between them. The last thing he wanted was to start arguing over the rights and wrongs of the conference’s attempts at religious unity. Roy was yet to decide for himself, and the fact that he had nowhere else to go meant he was not going to disagree with Rick.
“Listen, you have missed your allotted time to speak, but don’t worry, you can book in another time. Today, if you’re lucky enough.”
“I really don’t have anything to say.”
“Well, of course you do.
“No, I don’t,” he said with his voice raised too much for that moment.
As he heard the echo bouncing off the concrete walls, Rick stopped and looked at him. His smile was gone, replaced by concern. “Are you all right, Roy? You look a mess. What’s happened to you? Where’ve you been?”
Roy sighed and rubbed his eyes. “It’s been a rough couple of weeks,” he admitted. “All kinds of things have happened. I don’t know what to believe. And I really don’t know who to trust anymore. People I thought were my friends, turned on me. And I have snubbed the people who really were my friends. You’re right, Rick, I am a mess. I’ve just had a real bad night, just thinking, trying to sort out where I’ve gone wrong. I don’t think I should have ever left you guys. And I’ve gone and missed all these great developments, like you said.”
Rick placed his right arm over Roy’s shoulders. “You’re always welcome in my church, you know that, right? Feel free to come in like you are a regular part of our congregation.”
“Thank you, Rick. I might just take that offer up.”
“Listen, I have need of an Assistant Pastor. I’ve been a little short of staff here lately, you understand. Would you be interested? I know we don’t have the same doctrines, but we do share many similar beliefs. After all, it’s the same God, is it not?”
“I’m honoured by your offer.”
“You think about it.”
“I’ll do that.”
As they walked into the conference hall, Roy became more and more convinced that he was in the right place. Everything seemed familiar; this was what his life was, not in chasing flakes and being chased by thugs. He was welcomed by most of his old friends and acquaintances, including Jamieson, who again apologised for missing his lounge-meeting. Roy assured him he did not miss a thing. Alex Malone gave him a friendly wave, bearing no sign of a grudge at Roy’s previous rough treatment.
Rick continued to give Roy gentle encouragement to put his name forward as a speaker. After two hours of listening to various speakers talk on meaningless subjects, Roy found himself agreeing. He was soon set to speak, in what was considered the best time, fifteen minutes after the lunch break and just before the live TCS link to the world conference in Rome. Roy was informed that he should think of himself as a lucky man.
During the lunch break Roy noticed some people he did not recognise, and some were dressed in outlandish costumes. He asked Rick who they were.
“Priests of different religions,” said Rick. “Let me warn you, don’t make any reference to them. Just talk about your own church and not of other faiths. We all just speak conservative subjects these days, to keep everyone happy.”
“Are they wanting to convert to Christianity?”
“No, no. It’s all part of keeping the peace between different faiths of the world. How much have you missed? It’s not like we’re endorsing their faiths; just showing we can all live together in peace, that our diversity does not have to mean we have to hate each other, or worse. And to be fair, Christianity has been the main aggressor, through-out history. For us to reach out to them in love, is a major step forward for peace.”
Roy sat back and contemplated it all. He could not help recalling the book talking about all the world’s religions becoming united and controlled by the Antichrist. When he first read that he thought it was going too far, but after seeing Rick’s casualness regarding it, he could now see it was possible.
Maybe there is something significant going on here.
After the lunch interval, Roy went up to the stage and tried to organise his thoughts before giving his address. Jamieson was with him and ready to assist, if it was required. He encouraged Roy and told him to stick to the theology of his own church and not attack anyone.
“What do you think of all the different faiths represented here?” Roy quietly asked. He was beginning to get worried, and knew of no better man to consult; one who thought like him and who could give an honest answer.
“I find it all most disturbing, actually,” said Jamieson. His back was to the returning audience and his face showed concern. “I only keep myself sane by remembering that these are all lost souls in need of Christ. We must endeavour to show them our love before we can show them our Saviour.”
Roy took heart from his words. They sound familiar to what Julius Mann would have said. As Jamieson announced him from the side of the stage, Roy looked down to his audience with renewed confidence. There were various groups below him, all keeping to themselves, interspersed with men and women in normal clothes; those representing Western Christianity. For the first time Roy did not look to them as if they were his enemy, but rather people in need of the truth, as Jamieson had said.
“Thank you,” Roy said to Jamieson as he took one last look at the notes that he had scribbled down over lunch. Keeping to his church theology would be easy, and he told himself that the church leadership in England were certain to hear about his address. He hoped it would encourage them to send funds to build a new church.
Roy looked back to the audience with a smile, satisfied that he was at last back on track. He could not believe what he saw. Everyone in the audience was a wolf. He nearly cried out with fright, but then found he was too startled to make any noise at all. He rubbed at his eyes and took another look. They indeed had the appearance of wolves, but as he studied them he saw they were just wolf heads on human bodies. He studied them carefully, like it was not real, some kind of dream, or he was in some weird movie. Some wolves were placid, staring at him without emotion. Other were snarling, showing sharp teeth and long tongues.
Roy put his hands over his face, and turned around to lean against the podium, his back to the wolves. Jamieson rushed up and asked what was wrong. Roy looked at Jamieson and saw that he was normal. Then he looked back to the audience and saw them to be normal too; people, not wolves. They all showed their concern for him, and none looked like they wanted to harm him.
“I don’t know,” he said to Jamieson carefully. “I guess I’m not up to this. I don’t think I’m feeling too well.”
He excused himself and went to the men’s rest-rooms. He wiped his face with cold water and looked closely into the mirror. He could not figure it out. His psychological training told him the best answer was that it was an hallucination. It was triggered by the continued loss of his church, first through the missing people,
then the fire, and them being kicked out of his makeshift lounge-church. The heads were dogs, not wolves, from the dog head he saw on the roof during the fire; probably the most disturbing image he had ever seen.
Yes, that’s the reason. That’s the answer. Get a hold of yourself, Roy!
He returned to the hall and took a seat at the edge of the row at the back. His allotted time to speak was over, and the big screen was now live. They were listening to the introduction for Pope John XXV. Dressed in full pontificals, the respectable elderly man was at the traditional balcony over St Peter’s Square. The very sight of him caused silence throughout the hall, as everyone became captured by his presence, as if he were right there with them.
He was to speak in English, at a deliberate slow speed for the translators. After his introduction he motioned his hand only slightly, in a wave to the large crowd below, gaining cheers and applause. Some of those in the conference hall joined in the applause. Roy was just satisfied to see a normal man, and no dogs in sight.
“I announce to you, peoples, races, faiths, creeds, tribes of the world,” said the Pope, “a revival in human spirituality, to reveal and understand our potential as children of God, as one and as all.”
He paused and cheers came from the crowd below him.
“This is a momentous day. A day when future generations will look back and mark the time when the world came to its senses and ceased from the pain of needless wars and disputes over religious belief.”
He paused again, to the sound of more cheers.
“I announce to you by the authority granted to me by Almighty God and his holy servant Jesus Christ and the Holy Queen of Heaven, Blessed Mother Mary, that truth lies as the cornerstone of every faith. To prove this, we, the members of the body of Christ, call for all of you, every person professing any kind of spirituality, to come forward in a spirit of love, and embrace us, the leaders of GlobalFaith, as your humble and caring fathers.”
There was instant applause from people in Rome’s St Peter’s Square and those in the St Antipas conference room, and doubtless wherever else the TCS coverage went to.
Roy gave no applause. He stood and looked at them, no longer seeing a group of Christian leaders meeting together to support one another. This was something else. In the time he had been away it had turned into a meeting for the uniting of the world’s faiths. Roy looked for Rick Rheem to see for himself if he was supporting them. When he saw Rick applauding with the others he knew that the Assistant Pastor position was not right for him to accept. Deep in his heart he knew there was a limit to how far brotherly love was shown to those who did not confess Christ alone as their Saviour. The laws of the Kingdomite church spoke boldly against any such religious compromise, and Roy knew that the charters of other churches represented in that room said the same thing, yet their leaders were acting like it did not matter.
It was not easy for him to take, but Roy conceded that what he saw might have been what he feared; a vision, from God, to show him that these people were the wolves. Now he knew they were indeed wolves, not dogs like he had tried to tell himself. It was what Wuting and Jian had warned him. He had been right in their midst.
As he walked out he wondered how many others remained behind who secretly held the same views as his own but were too scared or intimidated to make a stand. He determined that he would try contacting his old friends and fellow ministers privately, away from the others, to try to talk some sense to them. He knew them to be men of integrity, who would occasionally open their hearts to him when they met in private, and talk about the great stress involved in running large churches.
As he thought about his fellow ministers, his mind went back to his own beloved church, now a black piece of scorched earth. He knew it was his duty to report it to Chichester. Even if he now felt little connection to them, he knew it had to be done. Perhaps he could contact one of the elders and engage in some long-distance counselling and confession. During his days in the little southern English city, he had enjoyed the company of the learned professors and elite elders.
He placed the call though via his car phone. The unique dial-tone reminded Roy of his five-year stay in the magnificent Kingdom of God Theological Seminary. It was the very place where Julius Mann had lived so many years ago, and Roy had savoured every moment of it.
A woman answered the call with a prim English accent.
“Hello, this is Reverend Royce Hoyle calling from Carlow, St Antipas,” Roy said, happy to give his full name since it was a rare occasion. “I would like to speak to the Brother of All Churches, please. Tell him it’s urgent, please.”
“The Brother of All Churches is not in residence,” she said aloofly, as if she preferred that he was not bothering her.
“Well, let me talk to the secretary, please.”
“The secretary is not in either,” she said like she was about to close the call.”
“All right, can you take a message for me?”
“If you insist.”
“I do insist, actually, yes,” said Roy, annoyed at her manner, knowing that she was required to be respectful of him. “The church, my church, of St Antipas has been burnt to the ground. Before that we suffered the loss of the majority of the congregation, who are now officially listed as missing. Both of my deacons are gone, and the elder, and all board members. I have located seven survivors, including two children. Since then, two of those have gone missing.”
Roy contemplated adding that there was none of the survivors left either, since they had deserted him by making him leave his longue-church and trying to go with it on their own. As for himself, he also wanted to leave the church, to leave behind the dedication of most of his life, and start again.
“Is that all you wish to say? Thank you for calling,” she said as a farewell.
“Wait a minute, would you? This is serious.”
“Yes, well, it may be to you, but we have more pressing matters here.”
“What do you mean? Who is this? Let me speak with one of the resident priests or elders.”
“My name is Geraldine Praiseworth, and you may not speak with anyone, because there is no one to speak with you. You may have located seven, or however many you said, but we are left with four. And I will have you know, we have better things to do than discuss problems with someone thousands of kilometres away. Unless you are on your way here to assist, then we have nothing further to discuss. Thank you for informing us about the situation on St Antipas, and perhaps one day something may be done to help. Until then there will need to be a great deal of water pass under the proverbial bridge, for our church to be rebuilt—here first, of course—before we start addressing you people overseas. The best of luck to you, but that is I all can offer to help you, I’m sorry.”
“There must be someone else there.”
“No, only four wives of the professors. We have a great deal of trouble here; a lot of lives are in absolute turmoil. Our city is in a complete mess.”
Sounds like you need a visit from Wuting and Jian, thought Roy.
“I’m really very sorry for you,” she said, “but I have to go now.”
“Wait, that can’t be right. What about the Chichester Kingdom Cathedral? What about Timotheus Taylor? Surely he’s in residence if you’ve had such a huge loss in staff?”
“Is this the first time you have contacted us? I don’t think much of your loyalty, whoever you are. Didn’t you know all the leaders are missing?”
“All?”
“All means all, yes.”
“Not Timotheus Taylor?”
“Yes, and I really must say good-bye now.”
“The Taylor Twelve?”
“Yes, all of them. Good-bye.” She closed the call.
Roy spent a few minutes doing nothing but staring out his car window. He could not decide if the news was good or bad. It was good in that the leadership of his church was deemed fit to be raptured. But the bad part was that he could not understand how their grand old leader Timo
theus Taylor could be among them. Roy would have thought his place was with the Pope. The ninety-two-year-old Church Elder was always talking about welcoming the Pope into the church. He also remembered that the Taylor Twelve, the heirs to the church leadership, were well known to be a group of feuding, back-stabbing men eager to take Timotheus’ place. How could they also be missing?
Roy scratched at his scalp and decided it was all too much for him to work out. None of his thoughts seemed to be worth anything. His gradual-rapture idea now seemed ridiculous. He knew when he first came up with it that he had no scripture to support it. Now he admitted to himself that it was only meant to ease Lenny’s tension, not to provide a theological answer.
It was not too difficult for him to know what else in his life was not right. With a sigh he told himself it was time to admit his sinful past to what was left of his congregation. He had nothing left to protect. His life as a church leader was finished. His church was finished, in both St Antipas and Chichester, and probably everywhere else in the world. He decided that he would confess it all to them, and beg forgiveness for being deceitful.
I’ll start again. I’ll be honest with them. I’ll be honest with everyone, no matter what they think of me.
He returned to Ida’s house. She was all he had left. He did not feel so sure about Shari-Anne, and he could not guess Lenny’s state of mind. As for Suzanne, he hoped she had left him for good.
He buzzed the doorbell. There was no answer. Panicking, he tapped on all the windows, again with no answer. He shouted out for Ida to respond. Still no answer.
Not again!
He returned to his car and decided to wait there until she came back from wherever she went. After hours of seeing most of her neighbours coming and going, he drove to Shari-Anne’s house. He became so nervous that he could hardly bring himself to press the doorbell. She was not home either, and there was no sign of her two girls.
He went to Lenny’s home. He hammered on his door and yelled out. It made no difference. Lenny was not home either.
The conclusion was obvious. Once he was back inside his car he buried his face in his hands. He was re-convinced, again, that he had missed another rapture. It was true after all! The others—Ida, Shari, Lenny; obviously Wuting and Jian—were deemed worthy, but he was not. He tried to understand his failure. He could not think of anything else other than that he had attended the conference. He asked himself if his very presence with the compromising leaders was deemed enough for him to miss out. He wondered how long it would be until the next rapture, or if there would be any others at all.
It was night by the time he drove back down the familiar street to his own house. He decided that he would try to be as bold as Wuting and Jian, and go ahead and live in the house where he was twice nearly attacked. He had no other place to go, and perhaps it was his destiny. He planned to pray for most of the night, and find out where he stood with God. That would be what Wuting and Jian would do.
As he approached his driveway he slowed down to get ready to pull in, but then he went for the brakes. Someone was on his property, and trying to open his bedroom window. He parked down the street and told himself that this was it, the time when he would face up to his enemies. He prayed for boldness and immediately felt invigorated. Then he noticed that there was no other car on the street or in his driveway. It could just be a common burglar. Unless the Two had returned.
With his stunner set and ready to fire, Roy moved close to the house, uncertain about whether or not he should be carrying the weapon. He looked to see the intruder and was surprised to see it was a woman. Seeing no one else was there, he shined the stunner’s light on her and called out, “What are you looking for?”
She jumped with fright but did not run away as Roy had expected.
“I’m looking for Roy Hoyle,” she said. The voice was unmistakable. It was Suzanne.
“You?” Roy asked, not knowing how to react. Was she a wolf too? Did she send another van to get the others?
“Roy!” she called with relief. “I’ve been looking for you. We must get away from here, before it’s too late.” She ran to him.
“You were looking for me?” he asked with growing anger as he approached her, gripping the stunner tight. “Why? Haven’t you done enough to destroy my church? Where are the others? I’ve been to Ida’s place and they’re not there. Did you send your friend’s after Ida too? And Shari-Anne? And her daughters? I know you’re involved. I want some answers out of you.”
Now they were close.
“Ida’s perfectly safe,” she said with a low voice as she looked around. “Same with Shari and her girls.”
“And Lenny? What have you done with him?” he asked, ignoring that his voice was carrying far into the night.
“I don’t know about Lenny.”
“You were out to destroy me from the start.”
“Roy, let me explain. I had to tell the others about us. It didn’t seem right acting like it had never happened. Not there, not when we were meant to be worshipping God.”
“How did you know about the men coming after me? The van; tell me about the van.”
“I’ve done a lot of bad things, but now I’m setting it right. For one thing, I’m getting us out of here. The others are in a safe haven. We’re going across the river. Do you understand what I mean, Roy?” She nervously looked out to the street.
“Just tell me who those men were; the ones who came after me.”
“I don’t know; various good-for-nothings. Street people, maybe. Believe me, I’m not with them anymore.”
“Then tell me how you were involved.”
“We were employed to round up people like you. We were only a small part of a bigger organisation. Some of us pretended to be new converts to their churches, so we could spy on them. That worked very well. But a few slipped away from us, like you.”
“And the Carters? Do you know what’s happened to them?”
“I can’t say for sure.”
“Tell me!”
“I don’t know what they’ve done!” she shouted back.
“Are you telling me the Carters have been abducted?”
“Yes, of course they have.”
“By the same people who came after me?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“It was you. You told your bosses about them, didn’t you? You were spying on us, and I was next!”
“That’s true. I was with them from the start; I confess that. But not now; not any more. I didn’t report the Carters, and I warned you that night. I didn’t tell them about those two Chinese guys; I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell them.”
“Who? Who are these people you couldn’t tell?”
“Just street people, like I said.”
“Street people couldn’t have planned all that. Who are they working for? Who’s behind them?”
“I don’t know, Roy. Really, I don’t.”
“You must know. Tell me!”
“I don’t know. Really. I’m not working for them now. I’ve come to my senses. Now I’m trying to rescue us all from them.”
“You’re what?”
“That’s why I’m here. I’ve been trying to find you. Please believe me.”
“You’re here because you’re trying to find me so you can turn me over to those thugs, and whoever’s behind them.”
“No, I want to help you; protect you from them. I know them. I know how they operate.” She was pleading with him now, and her voice was breaking with emotion.
“How do you expect me to believe you?”
“I’ve told you, I’ve changed. That’s all I can say. You have to believe me.”
“You’ve changed? Into what?”
“I’m a new person now.”
“What kind of ‘new person’?”
“I’m a Christian.”
Roy scoffed.
“Really, I am,” she protested. “Those two Chinese guys, Wuting and Jian, they showed me real faith, real Christianity. I we
nt back and read my Bible. It was all so real to me, I couldn’t believe it. I’ve found Christ!”
Roy softened his attitude as he wondered if she was telling him the truth. Her mention of the Two made him remember Bern’s conversion, which he was still unable to confirm.
“Bernard Thompson. What happened to him?”
“I don’t know.”
“My neighbour. Where’s he gone?”
“No, Roy, I don’t know. Please believe me. I’ve forgiven everyone who’s wronged me.”
“Everyone? I seem to remember you had some hang-ups over the Judaits and the Pravans?”
“I’m free of that now. I just forgave, and it’s gone.”
“All right. But you must have some idea, some inkling, about who the people behind this are?”
“I have been trying to figure it out, but I can’t. They were too professional to give away who they were. All I know is they were highly organised, like a secret army or something.”
“A secret army?”
“Please believe me.”
“Then, it’s the police?”
“It couldn’t have been the police. Although I know they were using the police, and the army, and the navy.”
“What’s the point to it all? Tell me everything you know about them. Maybe there’s something you’ve forgotten.”
“One thing did stand out that was odd. I know they were real religious, like some cult, you know? I don’t know too much about those things, but I do know they were bad news.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’re trying to set me up again.”
“Then believe this,” she said as she started to whisper: “My father is going to take us to the mainland in his fishing boat in Blackstone. He’s a good Catholic, and unlike most, is not getting carried away with what the Pope’s been saying.”
Roy recalled the hours he had spent, after he left the conference, when he had stood with the crowds of people in the city’s main mall, watching a large TCS screen of the Pope’s special message to the world, and Blair Laraine’s in-studio discussion. Most of what the Pope had said was very good, everyone agreed, and it would help the world in such a time of crisis.
“My Dad’s real concerned and wants to help us,” Suzanne continued, now heartened by what she was saying. “I suggest we go right now. It’s too dangerous to stand around here. We’ve got a safe haven lined up, with friends; fellow believers who have also had enough of this place. Don’t ask me how I found them, but I did. They’ve got a large place that’s perfect for hiding in; a real fortress.”
A roar of a speeding vehicle made Suzanne look around. “That’s them!” she screamed. “They’re coming now! Let’s go!”
Roy had no chance to reply. He took one look at the black van speeding up the street, and turned to run with her.
“My car’s just down the street!” he shouted.
“No, they know it. Mine’s in the next street. Come on!”
Roy realised that her car was safer. As they ran he guided her down to the gap between the neighbour’s fence and to the best place to climb to get to the next property. This time the intruders saw him and they sprinted after him, yelling at him to stop. Roy glanced back to see at least five, all decked in black with masks.
Several of the attackers climbed the fence into the wrong property. Savage dogs bellowed at them. After yells of pain from the men, the dogs went silent. Roy ran faster, knowing that they had stunners more powerful than his.
Suzzane was too slow at unlocking her car door. She was trying to tell Roy that she had no idea that they would be coming back for him so soon. Roy went to the passenger’s door with his hand ready to open the latch. He looked back to see two men charging closer. The both had stunners in their hands and guns at their side. Roy could not understand why they were not shooting.
Suzanne opened her door and jumped in. She was slow at opening Roy’s door and the men got to him. He was tackled down to the grass, which knocked his stunner from his hands. His attacker pinned him down and violently cursed him. Roy heard the other smashing at Suzanne’s car, breaking glass.
“Go!” Roy yelled to her as he looked up at the man holding him down. He lingered over him as he charged his own stunner to full power, relishing that he had him trapped. He grabbed Roy’s neck so hard that it cut off his air flow.
Suzanne’s car wheels screamed as she drove at the other attacker, making him dive to get away. Then came rapid gunfire. There were more men arriving, shooting at her car.
Unable to breath, Roy felt helpless to do anything as the man prepared to give him a good dosage of his stunner. He looked into the man’s eyes and saw an insane glee. Then his face changed. The mask disappeared and Roy found himself staring at a wolf; its ferocious mouth about to bite. The surge of terror made Roy suddenly lurch and he jolted the man off his chest and sent him falling off balance. When the man hit the ground the stunner was trapped under him. He could do nothing as it sent successive painful waves into his body, paralysing him so much that he could not even cry out.
Roy half stood to see four other men still firing shots at Suzanne’s car, which was nearing the street corner. He backed away from them, and they did not notice him, or their tortured companion. Roy’s pace began slow before fear propelled him away. He ran in a sprint back to his own car. Once there he could not believe that he had eluded them.
He successfully drove away, and kept driving until he found a quiet street to stop, on the other side of the city. He rested his head in his hands. He dearly hoped that Suzanne was safe. He wished they had taken him instead of her. He realised that she was not a wolf, although it seemed that she once was. He wished Wuting and Jian were with him, just to tell him what to do, and why he was seeing such strange things. He prayed for guidance; he pleaded for God to help him.
They should still be here. Or at least someone like them. He prayed for God to send them back, or send others, or even find two people in Carlow who can do their work.
He remembered Suzanne’s words. She talked about a safe haven, of a safe place, or something. He tried to think what that meant. She knew that his church was burnt down, and his own home was far from safe. Ida’s home was probably out of the question too.
Then he remembered that she mentioned something about a fortress, and something “across the river”. He smiled to himself.
Of course, he thought. The answer’s obvious.
He laughed with relief, knowing that he should have guessed long before. He knew of no safer place.