renewed the medicine all the three ways; and dosed myselfwith it as at first, and doubled the quantity which I drank.
_July 3._ I missed the fit for good and all, though I did not recover myfull strength for some weeks after. While I was thus gathering strength,my thoughts ran exceedingly upon this scripture, "I will deliver thee;"and the impossibility of my deliverance lay much upon my mind, in bar ofmy ever expecting it: but as I was discouraging myself with suchthoughts, it occurred to my mind that I pored so much upon mydeliverance from the main affliction, that I disregarded the deliveranceI had received; and I was, as it were, made to ask myself such questionsas these, viz. Have I not been delivered, and wonderfully too, fromsickness; from the most distressed condition that could be, and that wasso frightful to me? and what notice have I taken of it? Have I done mypart? God has delivered me, but I have not glorified him; that is tosay, I have not owned and been thankful for that as a deliverance: andhow can I expect a greater deliverance? This touched my heart very much;and immediately I knelt down, and gave God thanks aloud for my recoveryfrom my sickness.
_July 4._ In the morning I took the Bible; and beginning at the NewTestament, I began seriously to read it; and imposed upon myself to readawhile every morning and every night; not binding myself to the numberof chapters, but as long as my thoughts should engage me. It was notlong after I set seriously to this work, that I found my heart moredeeply and sincerely affected with the wickedness of my past life. Theimpression of my dream revived; and the words, "All these things havenot brought thee to repentance," ran seriously in my thoughts. I wasearnestly begging of God to give me repentance, when it happenedprovidentially, the very same day, that, reading the scripture, I cameto these words, "He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour; to giverepentance, and to give remission." I threw down the book; and with myheart as well as my hands lifted up to heaven, in a kind of ecstasy ofjoy, I cried out aloud, "Jesus, thou son of David! Jesus, thou exaltedPrince and Saviour! give me repentance!" This was the first time in allmy life I could say, in the true sense of the words, that I prayed; fornow I prayed with a sense of my condition, and with a true scriptureview of hope, founded on the encouragement of the word of God: and fromthis time, I may say, I began to have hope that God would hear me.
Now I began to construe the words mentioned above, "Call on me, and Iwill deliver thee," in a different sense from what I had ever donebefore; for then I had no notion of any thing being called_deliverance_, but my being delivered from the captivity I was in: forthough I was indeed at large in the place, yet the island was certainlya prison to me, and that in the worst sense in the world. But now Ilearned to take it in another sense: now I looked back upon my past lifewith such horror, and my sins appeared so dreadful, that my soul soughtnothing of God but deliverance from the load of guilt that bore down allmy comfort. As for my solitary life, it was nothing; I did not so muchas pray to be delivered from it, or think of it; it was all of noconsideration, in comparison with this. And I add this part here, tohint to whoever shall read it, that whenever they come to a true senseof things, they will find deliverance from sin a much greater blessingthan deliverance from affliction. But, leaving this part, I return tomy Journal.
My condition began now to be, though not less miserable as to my way ofliving, yet much easier to my mind: and my thoughts being directed, byconstantly reading the Scripture and praying to God, to things of ahigher nature, I had a great deal of comfort within, which, till now, Iknew nothing of; also, as my health and strength returned, I bestirredme to furnish myself with every thing that I wanted, and make my way ofliving as regular as I could.
From the 4th of July to the 14th, I was chiefly employed in walkingabout with my gun in my hand, a little and a little at a time, as a manthat was gathering up his strength after a fit of sickness: for it ishardly to be imagined how low I was, and to what weakness I was reduced.The application which I made use of was perfectly new, and perhaps whathad never cured an ague before; neither can I recommend it to any one topractise, by this experiment: and though it did carry off the fit, yetit rather contributed to weakening me; for I had frequent convulsions inmy nerves and limbs for some time: I learned from it also this, inparticular; that being abroad in the rainy season was the mostpernicious thing to my health that could be, especially in those rainswhich came attended with storms and hurricanes of wind; for as the rainwhich came in the dry season was almost always accompanied with suchstorms, so I found that this rain was much more dangerous than the rainwhich fell in September and October.
I had now been in this unhappy island above ten months: all possibilityof deliverance from this condition seemed to be entirely taken from me;and I firmly believed that no human shape had ever set foot upon thatplace. Having secured my habitation, as I thought, fully to my mind, Ihad a great desire to make a more perfect discovery of the island, andto see what other productions I might find, which I yet knew nothing of.
It was on the 15th of July that I began to take a more particular surveyof the island itself. I went up the creek first, where, as I hinted, Ibrought my rafts on shore. I found, after I came about two miles up,that the tide did not flow any higher; and that it was no more than alittle brook of running water, very fresh and good: but this being thedry season, there was hardly any water in some parts of it; at least,not any stream. On the banks of this brook I found many pleasantsavannahs or meadows, plain, smooth, and covered with grass: and on therising parts of them, next to the higher grounds (where the water as itmight be supposed, never overflowed,) I found a great deal of tobacco,green, and growing to a very great and strong stalk: and there weredivers other plants, which I had no knowledge of, or understandingabout, and that might, perhaps, have virtues of their own, which Icould not find out. I searched for the cassava root, which the Indians,in all that climate, make their bread of; but I could find none. I sawlarge plants of aloes, but did not understand them. I saw severalsugar-canes, but wild; and, for want of cultivation, imperfect. Icontented myself with these discoveries for this time; and came back,musing with myself what course I might take to know the virtue andgoodness of any of the fruits or plants which I should discover; butcould bring it to no conclusion; for, in short, I had made so littleobservation while I was in the Brazils, that I knew little of the plantsin the field; at least, very little that might serve me to any purposenow in my distress.
The next day, the 16th, I went up the same way again; and after goingsomething farther than I had gone the day before, I found the brook andthe savannahs begin to cease, and the country become more woody thanbefore. In this part I found different fruits; and particularly I foundmelons upon the ground, in great abundance, and grapes upon the trees:the vines, indeed, had spread over the trees, and the clusters of grapeswere now just in their prime, very ripe and rich. This was a surprisingdiscovery, and I was exceedingly glad of them, but I was warned by myexperience to eat sparingly of them; remembering that when I was ashorein Barbary, the eating of grapes killed several of our Englishmen, whowere slaves there, by throwing them into fluxes and fevers. I found,however, an excellent use for these grapes; and that was, to cure or drythem in the sun, and keep them as dried grapes or raisins are kept;which I thought would be (as indeed they were) as wholesome and asagreeable to eat, when no grapes were to be had.
I spent all that evening there, and went not back to my habitation;which, by the way, was the first night, as I might say, I had lain fromhome. At night, I took my first contrivance, and got up into a tree,where I slept well; and the next morning proceeded on my discovery,travelling near four miles, as I might judge by the length of thevalley; keeping still due north, with a ridge of hills on the south andnorth sides of me. At the end of this march I came to an opening, wherethe country seemed to descend to the west; and a little spring of freshwater, which issued out of the side of the hill by me, ran the otherway, that is, due east; and the country appeared so fresh, so green, soflourishing, every thing being in a constant verdure, or flourish ofspring, that it looked like a planted ga
rden. I descended a little onthe side of that delicious vale, surveying it with a secret kind ofpleasure (though mixed with other afflicting thoughts,) to think thatthis was all my own; that I was king and lord of all this countryindefeasibly, and had a right of possession; and, if I could convey it,I might have it in inheritance as completely as any lord of a manor inEngland. I saw here abundance of cocoa trees, and orange, lemon, andcitron trees, but all wild, and very few bearing any fruit; at least notthen. However, the green limes that I gathered were not only pleasant toeat, but very wholesome; and I mixed their juice afterwards with water,which made it very wholesome, and very cool and refreshing. I found nowI had business enough to gather and carry home; and I resolved to lay upa store, as well of grapes as limes and lemons to furnish myself for thewet season, which I knew was approaching. In order to this, I gathered agreat heap of grapes in one place, a lesser heap in another