CASTLE IN HEVEN!!!!!!!!!
The Starnger: (stands behgind the curtain and whistles a song)
Dr. Bronson: WHAT???? Who is my house!!!!!!!
The Starnger: (walks out into the living room)
Dr. Bronson: Who are yoo????!!!
The Starnger: I am hear to put an end to yor madness!!!! There is only on god and he is all powerful and all mighty...............
Dr. Bronson: NO DON"T HURT ME (pees in his pants cause hes a liveral sissy!!!!! Ha, hba, ha, ha, ha,a!!!!!!!!!!)
The Starnger: God sent me here to get rid of da sin in the world, yo. Looks like I came just in time.... (pulls out a gun and shoots him)
Dr. Bronson: (dies)
The Stargner: (walks over to Piper Bronsan and puts his hand on her sholder) Yoo must lern to walk the path of the rightaeous and be a good Christan woman who turns aw these evil things like abortion and violance and gheys!!!!!! One day yoo will be the one with the god.
Piper Bronsan: Thank yoo Mr………………………………………….
The Stargner: Call me The Stargner. (walks out)
Decective Giggler: (wakes up) What happened, yo?
Piper Bronson: Giggler, my father was stoped by a man in black but was not black liek yoo who came here and saved me from a life of misary!!!!! His name was da stargner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Detective Giggler: This makes me happy Piper.... but where will yoo live now?
Piper Bonson: I don't have family……………
Detective Giggler: Yoo will stay with me!!!!!!! (last shot of them is the two of them walking off together in the sunset). We will stay in my "pad" in da hood wear yoo will be s from da evils of the wrold, yo!!!!!! (talks to hisself) Thank you God, yoo a true "playa"!!!! ANd maybe one day I will meet dis Stargner cracka and tank him for all da help………………..
The end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Authors Note: As yoo cold probAbly tell I am vary pro-life and I think aborton is a horrible, horrible, very bad bad crime crime that would be outlawed if not for all the EVIL LIBRAL LAWEMAKERS!!! Women sholdn't be allowed to murder the young and inocent, and they shold noy have rights over they bodies either!!!!!! When I was real young an dad was still alive he came to me one night and told me I WAS ALMOTS ABORTED! He told me dat's why moma alwayz laughd bout drinking licker and throwing herself down strairs when she was pargnant!!!!! As you can see aborton makes people crazy and dey JUMP DOWN STARECASES!!!! Sigh, I guess the LIBRAL MEDIA will never be as compasonate as us pro-lifers. So now I got just 1 question fro yoo guys ------ ARE YOU PUMPED UP FOR THE REST?!!!!!!!! I know I am, yo!!!! Ha, h, ah, ha, ha,bnha, ha, ha ha!!!!!!!!
Romance of the Three Commies
Arthur's Notes: Ddoods!!!!!! Waht is up, Gs and Bs?!?!!!!!! I ain t been writin da plays IN SOOOOoooooooooooooooooOoOoOoO logn!!!!!!! IT SUXED!!!!! But now I are back a bakc wit a VENGANCE!!!!!!!!!! Juts liek Just liek KEVIN COSSNAR in dat flick REVENGE!!!!!!! Ha, ah,nha, hga, ha, ha, ha, ha, gha!!!!!!!!!!!! Dat flick is Hillariousa!!!!!! But yea play is about orientals people from CHINA doin there rice thang wich I tink is VARY UBER INTRESTIGN!!!!!!!!!!! It is alzo a allllegorie (some ghey dude from schewl said dat da other day and I was all liek 'WTF, dood dats gay!!!!!!!!!!!' but here I am usin it in ways so brilliant your JEANS IZ CREAMED!!!!!!!!! Ha, ah, ha, hga, ha, ha!!!!!!!!) Abowt commies and how much dey SUCK!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ah,a ham gam ha, ha, ha, ah!!!!!!! Serously , dough, commies suck,
Characters, yo:
Rop - Smal boy who work on rice farm!!!!!!! Ha, ah,a , ha, ha!!!!!!!!!
Kappa - very sexy ladie dat like ROP vary much!!!!! Works on fram too.
Winthrop - Chines picker of the rice.
Frank - EVEL COMMIE A-HOLE FAGMO dat lieks bein all mean n shti
Frankina - Franks whife who is HATING FRANK (FOR GOOD REASON, YO!!!!!) Haha, aha!!!)
Karl Marx - GHEY.
Act 1, Scene 1 -- On da rice farm wit rop, Cappa and Winthorp. They is pickin da rice w/ big ole fuckin HOOKZ AND SHIT witch is PREOTTY DAMN KILLER IF YA AKS ME!!!!!!! h,a ha, ha, ha, hga!!!!!!!
Rop: I hate to pick riece all da days. IT SUXX0RS!!!!!!!! But at leats my commy govement will let m,e keep some rice for myself THEY ARE EVIL!!!!!!!!
Kapa: Rop yoo are silly!!!!!! ShhhHhhh!!!!!!!! Do not takl harshly abowt our gov't or some evil dude with a whip will STOMP YOUR ASS, yo!!!!!!!!!
Duke: Yes, Capa is rite Rop. Ha, ha, ah,a ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!
Caper: Tank you Duke, you is a very nice man. But, mau I ask what are so funy?
Duke: YOO ARE VERY FUNNY, HORE!!!!! (pops Kaappa across the face one time)
Rop: DUKE YOO BIG MEENY HOW DARE YOO—
They're convo is interuptertd by da ENROMOUS SPAKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD
Frank: Ohhh!!!!! Hello farm werkers your rice is VERY VERY GOOD! Dis is Frank, your EVIL COMMIE DICTATOR!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha, ha, ha, ha,. Haaa, ha!!!!!!! Anywho! I juts wan to let yoo know that the rulez is a-changin!!!!! From now on, yoo dumb-dums can only keep two cups of water and 1 cup of rice!!!!!!!!! DAT'S IT, HOMIES!!!!!!!!!! Peace out.
Rop: (this is when Rop gos nuts) WTF!?! Dat rule is ghey!!!!!!! Thay cannnot do that too us!!!!!! 2 cups of water & 1 cup of rice!!!!?!??!?!? ! Is this enuff to measure your life' worth!??!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duker: (walks over to Kapa and karate chops her ass!!!!!!!!)) See, woman!!!! Teh govermetnt SUCKS, weiner woman!!!!!
Rop: Dude, this is no tiem for bein a a-hole. Write nwo is a time for
Act 1, Sceene 2 -- Same place, samm time!!!!!
Rop: REBELLION, YO!!!!!!!!!
Act 2, Scene 1 -- Frank's howse. Its vary claen but onyl because he has a gosh darn MADE dat cleanms his house for him!!!!!!!! What a looser!!!! Frank is starring in the mirr and shiznit cause he is all EGO-TESTICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frank: Could you hand me the cord?
Frankina: (walks in) Ohhh!!! Hony, what is it?!!!!!!!!!!!
Frank, nothing my deer-wife. How is yoo? Is yor FEET SOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frankina: Oh, no hunny!!!!!!! I am too kool for skool.good.
Frank: (turns around) I love you, wife!!!!!!!! (Dis is when it gets HAWT!!!!!! parent adviceory is is advised, yo!!!!!! Ha, ha, ah, ah, ah, ah, j, a, ha, a!!!!!!!!!) (Frank and Frank start makin out all over the place with there tongs floppin and shit amd Farnk loves it)
Frankina: Oh, Frank!!!!! You so sexy!!!!!!!!!
Act 3, Scene 2 -- Back in da wheat field w/ ROP AND CAPER AND WINTHROP!!!!!!!!
Rop: REBELLION, YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duke: OMG, dude, dat's a good idea. How iz we gonna do it?!?!?!??!!
Rop: We will rebel!!!!!!!! This guyz are bein an asshole!!!!!! Wee will SOT OTALLY bust up in da housse and be all liek "Yo, FRANK!!!!! Yooze a bitch!!!!!!!!!" adn he will be scarred!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! G,a h, ah, ah, ga, ha, ha!!!!!! Dis are a good idea; I WILL CONTINUE IT!!!!!! Den we will put nutmeg in his cofee and itll taste BAD!!!!!!! Hell puke EBERYWHERE DUDEZ!!!!! H,a, ah, ah,. ah, ah, ha, ha!!!!!!! We are liolns!!!!!!!!!!! Den OUDTISE Franks hizzome, there will Be a crazzzzzzzy roit!!!!!!!! Da peeps of Japon will fitin in da streets w/ bears and shit dudes, and Farnk'll love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Butt december, yoo gyuys!!!!!!!!! DONT BE PUSSYS!!!!!!! DATS just ghey. The streets will flood with blood of the non-believers, yo!!!!!!!!!! HGa, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ah.a hja, ah!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE BLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! TORNADOS!!!!!!!!!!!
Kappa: (siiting in silenseio, stunned by da AWESUM) Dat is so smrat of yoo!!!!!! You aer vary clever, yo!!!!!!!!!!!!! (under her breath) I luv yooooo.........
Rop: WHGAT!!!??!??!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!!!!
Kappa: Noting. But beef for we REBEL we shood buy some supplys, yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Rop: Dude hell naw!!!!!!! Me got a bettre idea!!!!!!!!!! We wiill take our framing supplys!!!!!!!!!!!!! How seweet is dat!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B/c we can cill him wit our big hookythingymajigs dat da damn COMMIE A-WHOILES use on they're ghey flags so dat it will be all SImbolifyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duke: Okay.
Act 5, Scene
1 -- Frank is sstanding in his badroom whering his bathrobne. He are loocing in da mirror AGIN!!!!!!!!
Frank: Ohhhh!!!! I am vary evil and very hawt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why duz nobody like me?!!!!!!!!!!! :(
Karl Marx: (appears)
Frank: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Ohmigod I just shitted on msyelf!!!!!!!!!! This is not goood for my hart. Who is yoo?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karl Marx: I am Commie King, yo!!!!!!!!! I rote dat ghey book!!!!!!!!!!! I am juts a ghost now thou.
Frank: YOO IS KARL MARX!!!!!!!!! (bows and strats bowing & shit) Me so honord meet you!!!!!!!
Karl Marx: Ha, ha, aa, ha, ah,a ha, ha!!!! You are a vary good commie leadrer.
Frank: I am a vary good commie leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karl Marx: But BEWARE DA GOOD GUYS DAt will soon fite you soon yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They hate commies liek yoo/me.
Frank: Ok thanks!!!!!!!!!!
Karl Marx: Wate their is more!!!!!!!! Remebmer too watch out for da one day call Rop!!!!!!!! I herd some people say he is "da 1”.
Act 5, Scene 2 -- Franks house uber-late at nite.
Duke: (enters teh stages)
Rop: (enters the estage)
KAppa: (enteres the stage)
Frank: AAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Me so scared!!!!!! (hops owt of his bed in