Read The Linkful Triad Trilogy and Other Plays: The Collected Work of JJ Thompson Page 6

a sweet karate stnance) YOO WISH!!!!!!!!!!

  Rop: (get s in his own kun-fu fight stile andd fights back. Tehere is a bi g ole fight and Franks room gets TORN DA FUCK UP, YO!!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ah,a ha, nha, ah,. a!!!!!!!!!!!

  Rop: (runs toeward Frank and shuvs a hook farmtool in his fudgin neck) WE HATE YOO YOO EVEL COMMMIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Frank: (dies)

  Kappa: ROP!!!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!! I LOV E YOO ROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Rop: I lobe yoo tou Kapa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL YOU MERRY ME!!!!!!!!

  Kappa: OK, Rop, I will marry yoO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  THE END!!!!!!!?!??!??!?!!!!

  Authers Notes: SO dat was sweet, huH? Dat was da 2nd time I wrote that damn thing though. SO ANNYOING IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!! Rightinmg da same shit 2 times SUCKS!!!!!!!! Serously dont do it until yoo get terned on by bein a dumbass or sumthin.....!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stranger Trilogy, Part II:

  Leprosy Killed the Leper

  AUTHOR'S NOTE: So da othra day my GOTH BITCH GF breaked up w/ me. DAT BITCH!!!!!!! I waz so sad :(!!!!!!!! I almots cryed when she was on da gfone all liek "we shoul ohtre peeps" and I was all like "FUCK YOO!!!!!!!!!!!! What a stuypid honky bitch. Ting is, tho, peeps, DIS GIRL WAS A DYKE!!! So grose is datt!!!! Serously, that is juts sick. I dateing a lesbo?!!!!! Jeez. But anywho! Dios lessie bitch was also a goth gril so I decioded to gett inspired to right da play whitch is also the second part of my STARGNER TRILOGY WHICH I THIKN IS VARY GOOD!!!! Plz nknow, though, dat dis play is ibased on DA BIGEST BITCH IN DA WERLD.... Melanie.... :(

  Characters, yo:

  Kurel - gay man who wrosks at factoray

  Hunter - Kurle's gay lubba and leader of the gay armies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

  Billy - A strait man whol works at factoray

  Melanie - Billy's goth gf and BIGGEST BITCH EBAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Michael More - FUCKFACE LIBRAL FATTIE FAT FATTERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Starnger - MSYsterious man in black but he aint black like DETECTIVE GIGGLER who is black.

  General Krime - Leader of the armies of the straits

  Act 1, Scene 2 -- in the factoray where dey make Hubcubs, yo, where KUREL, Hunter and BILLY works and weatch TV!!!! Ha, ah,a , ha, ha!!!! I am varyu clever.

  Kurel: Dat right dere is a good hubcub Hunter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are wroking and it is vary goooooooooooood!!!!!! When we vget home we get da homo on and yoo will put it i me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: Yah, I no, and Billy yoo invitd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: Yuk, dat sheeeeiyt is gross and shit........................FUCK yoo guyz..... reed the BIBLE which is the only wrod we can FORLLOW!!!!!!!!!

  Kurel: SUre, i'lkl read dat book!!!!!!!!! AS IF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ha, has , hya, ha,!!!!!! WHATEBA GRILFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: Yoo tell him cutty we queer we here and queer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA, Ha, ha ,an ha, ha ,. ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: D00d, dats GHEY!!!!!! I Better geta bakc to makning my hubcaps.

  Melanie: (comes in) Billy I am yoor girlfreind but I have a shkocking secrat to tale yoo!!!! OMG Billy WE NEED 2 SEE OTHAR PEEPS, YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: Woman get out my way!!!!!!!!! Why yoo walkin out my life whyen I need to you most, women!!!! Yoo know I love yoo so varely much even tho you is goth and now yo walk out on me!!!!!! Even thou i listaned to yoo when nobuddy else would and even bought you stuff and shit!!!!!!! (smacks da shit out dat bitch!!!! hah, ha, ha,f ha, ha, Ha Ha!!!!!!)!!!! FUCK DAT SHIT!!!!!!

  Melanie: I like WOMEN NOW BILLY!!!!!!!!!! I is one of da LONELY DYKES and i am da BIGGEST IDIOT/BITCH EBAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Kurl: She is da queen bee now,,, lets all chant da battel cry of the GHEYs and fighte the EVALS of tha straigts!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: We will start a war wit da straits and then we will take over the worlds after our war wid da straits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: But SAOMEONE WILL stop them and dat somebodys is a man namde ME!!!!!!!!!

  Act 2, Scene 1 -- In Billy's living room wher he cryes about his griflend.

  Michael More: (on tv) THIS JUST IN: Gays and lessies now have the rite to get married & shit and now all the strait marrages can no longar happen becuz they is ILLGAL!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ha, yha., ha, ha!!!! Dere is now a war betwen the gheys and the straits!!!!!! Sooon da homos will evan get teh right to VOTE!!!!!!!!!! ha, ha, ahaa, haa!!!!!!!!! Watch owt, good peeps of da werld!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: (kicks the tv) FUCK YOO LIBERAL FATTIE!!!!!

  The Stargner: (walks in) Whuts wrong, Billy?

  Billy: Dude, my bitch dun left me and is a lesilicious lesbo now and now all da gheys in da wrold have made white male straits a MINORITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stargner: NOT ON MY WATCH, WE WON"T LET DAT HAPPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAT BITCH WILL PAy for the sins we done!!!!!!!!!!!

  Scene 3, Scene 1 -- On the battlefeld (earth) where da gheys and da straits are fighting with guns and swords and shits and all of a sudden EXPLOSIONS expplode all over t stage and blood and guts FLIES EVERYWHERE all over the audcience all of a sudden!!!!!!!!!!!! so awesum is DAT!!!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: (shooting his gun) Take dat, straits!

  General Krime: ON NOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (throwz a grendae with limp wrist) I GOT THE GAY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: Dats right, girlfiend we taken over this side of a the block and yoo will be one of us!!!!!!!!!!

  General Krime: Tell me wife and child i luv dem vary much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

  Hunter: She KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (shootz him)

  General Krime: (dies)

 

  Hunter: NOBODY CAN STOP US NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (slits his wrsits and starts slapping peeple with it) I will put may diseese in yoo!!!!!!!!!!!

  Kurel: Hunter!!!!!!!!! Yoo is NOT DA MAN I FEEL IN LOVE with so long ago when your BIG HARD COXORZ ramed in my hungry brown eye b/c we are ghey!!............ WHAT W HAPPENED, YO??????????!!!!!!????

  Hunter: Yoo dare betarry the gay armies! Now yoo must die the death of a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stargner: (runs in) Not so fast, butt pirates!!!!

  Hunter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the Stargner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stargner: Dontr yoo see that all this violance is wrong????? Dis world was made for LOVING like BHilly loves his grillfriend Melandie & that luv is pure and gentile and wil forever but this violence is just stupid and GHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But wheen fighting is called for, yoo will now it!! Da AWESUM Pres Bush will; be all liek "yo, d00dz, need to fite for da rights!" and shit and it WIll Be AWEESOME!!!!!!!!!!! Juts liek a vidoe game or sum shits. Supoort yoor troops, yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Hunter: Fuck dat shiit, breeder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (GETS READY TO SLAP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SCENE GETS INTENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  The Stargner: (shoots him)

  Hunter: (dies)

  Kurel: I have now see da errers of my ways!!!!!!!!!!! Lets stop fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stargner: Hurry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

  Act 3, Scene 2 -- Melanies house were posters of Indigho Girlz and Katie Lang postars are hanging everywhere. Ha, ha, ha, ha ,ga, ha, ha!!!!!! HER TASTE IN MUSIC SKUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: Now da war has stooped and now yoo will pay for leaving me when I needed yoo most!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (slaps her around and kicks her in titties & da cootcher)

  Melanie: I SO SORRY DAVID I SO SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK I WILL DO ANYTHING 4 YOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Billy: Its too late for a
palogies woman!!! Do it Stargner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The Stargner: (shoots her)

  Melanies: (die)

  Billy: Now dats what I'm talking bout, come on Stargner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stargner??????? OMG he vanished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now where coold he have gone too now??????

  The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????!!!!!!!!!

  Author's Notes: Melanie, cuim back too me babe!!!!!!!!!! 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3:( Im notinh w/o yoo girl!!!!!!!!

  Skeeter’s Inferno

  Author's Notes, yo: HO MY FUDGESICKLING GAWD YOO GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ha, ajh,ah,a ga, gha, ahg, ha!!!!!!!!! How logn has it been broes/hoes?!!!!!!!!!! Porebbaly about t thousand years. Sorry I aint been writing da play-plays in so gosh dern long but MY COMP BROKE AFUCKINGGAIN B/C IT SUCXS DO BADLY!!!!!!!! Damn. Also, Narnia came on dvd and dat has been takin up a lot of my social and relaxation time, friends. BUT, YEAH!!!! Dis playu came to me in a god-dreeem I had da other night about BIG SPICEY MEETBALLS & shit liek dat bro. HA, ah, aj, ah, ah, ah,. Ah!!!!!!!!!!! Also, there was a huge crab on a beach chasing me.................. I WAS QWITE AFRAYD FOR MY LIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ah, ah, ahk,h, ah, ah, ah, ah, ga,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. So clevre am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Characters, yo:

  Skeeter - a 1/2 black 1/2 Italian-mario chef guy!!!!!!!!! Ha, ah, ah,aha!!!! HE WERKS In da