CHAPTER VI.--MRS. MARTHA MATILDA NIMPKY.
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HE Lord High Adjudicator had barely made this announcement when theattendant returned, followed by a rosy-cheeked woman in a very brightshawl and a bonnet with an enormous quantity of flowers and feathers onit. She had little black corkscrew curls hanging down on either side ofher face, and was leading a little boy of about four years of age by thehand: he was very beautifully dressed, and was a charming little fellowwith short golden curls and a chubby, little, smiling face.
The woman stopped at the door and made a curtsey, while the little boylooked about him with great curiosity.
"Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky, widow, gentlemen," announced the woman, "andHis Little Royal Highness, the son of the Crown Prince of Zum."
"Bless me, my good lady, you don't say so!" said the Lord HighAdjudicator, jumping up from his chair and offering it to the woman,while the Busybody Extraordinary fussed about and placed another chairby its side with his cloak over it to make it look something like athrone for His Little Royal Highness.
"Yes, gentlemen, I have a strange story indeed to tell you," said Mrs.Martha Matilda Nimpky when they had all settled down again.
"Before you begin, I should like to ask, is His Royal Highness the CrownPrince alive and well?" asked the Lord High Adjudicator anxiously.
"Well, I can hardly tell you, sir," replied Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky."He's invisible."
"Invisible!" exclaimed everybody in surprise.
Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky nodded mysteriously, and drew the littlePrince closer to her so that she could put one arm around him.
"The Crown Prince of Zum and his dear lady, who was the Princess ofLimesia, have both been rendered invisible by the King of Limesia'sMagician, Ohah!"
"Dear me, how very shocking!" exclaimed the Lord High Adjudicator, whilethe rest of the Committee displayed the greatest of interest.
"Yes, gentlemen, it happened in this way," continued Mrs. Martha MatildaNimpky. "When your Crown Prince started on his travels about five yearsago, he came to Limesia, and seeing our dear Princess, at once fell inlove with her and wished to marry her. The King of Limesia, however, whowas still angry about that affair of the Portmanteau----"
"Yes, yes, we know about it," exclaimed the Lord High Adjudicator,nodding violently.
"Well," continued Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky, "the King of Limesiawouldn't hear of their getting married, so as they were very much inlove with each other they were married secretly and lived in concealmentuntil about three months ago, when your King of Zum died and the Princethought that he ought to come home and be crowned King. But before theystarted, he, and the Princess went to the King of Limesia to beg hisforgiveness. Instead of forgiving them, though, he flew into a fearfulpassion, and summoning Ohah, the Magician, he ordered him to cast aspell upon both of them so that they might gradually become invisible.Poor dears! I shall never forget that day when they drove home from thePalace, looking very indistinct about the head, and told me what hadhappened; for you must understand I have been living with them eversince they were married, first as the dear Princess's Maid, then asNurse to the dear little Prince here."
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"Well, as I was saying, the Prince told me all about it. 'Nimpky,' hesaid--that was the way he always addressed me, gentlemen--'Nimpky,it will be useless now for me to go to Zum. I am quite sure that aninvisible King would be a great trial to my poor subjects, and Ifeel more and more shadowy every hour. You must take the littlePrince'--meaning this little lamb, gentlemen--'You must take the littlePrince to Zum and tell the Lord High Adjudicator all about it, and givehim this signet-ring, which he will recognise as having belonged to me,and see that the little Prince is made King, because he is the lawfulsuccessor to my father's throne.-' Those were his very words, gentlemen,and soon after his head disappeared entirely, so that he was unableto speak. The poor dear Princess disappeared too, a bit at a time, andalthough for a day or two we could understand them a little by the signswhich they made,, they eventually became so indistinct that we couldscarcely see them at all. The dear Princess's left foot was the lastthing to go, and that remained visible for some days after the rest ofher body had disappeared. People used to come from miles, I assure you,gentlemen, to see her Royal Highness's foot, for she was greatly belovedby all the people at Limesia, and now, out of respect for her, allthe ladies have taken to going about with their feet bare like thePrincess's; for I must tell you, gentlemen, that our Princess was notedfor her beautiful feet, and had never worn shoes in her life, onlysandals when she walked abroad. Poor dear! I often think there must havebeen something she wanted to tell me very much, by the way in which herbig toe wriggled about just before the foot entirely disappeared,which was only ten days ago." And Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky put herhandkerchief to her eyes.
"Well, gentlemen," she continued, after a time, "I waited until thelast symptom of my dear Prince and Princess had vanished, and then Ijourneyed here to fulfil the Prince's wish. I had to be very carefulabout it too, for if that old King knew about the little Prince (whichfortunately he does not) he would have caused him to have been madeinvisible too. Now there's one thing I should like to beg of you,gentlemen, and that is that you will allow me to continue to be Nurse toHis Little Royal Highness, for I am greatly attached to the dear littlefellow and Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky took the little Prince on to herlap and lovingly brushed the little golden curls from his forehead.
"Dear me! dear me! this is a very extraordinary story," said the LordHigh Adjudicator. "May I see the signet-ring, please?" he asked.
"Certainly, sir; here it is," replied Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky,handing him a very curiously wrought golden ring.
"Yes, that belonged to His Royal Highness, sure enough," declared theLord High Adjudicator; "and now that I look more closely at the littleboy I can see that he bears a remarkable likeness to the Crown Prince."
"Long live the King!" shouted the Busybody Extraordinary suddenly; andeverybody else got up and joined in the cry, "Long live the King! Longlive the King!" till the rafters rang again.
The little Prince looked somewhat alarmed at all the shouting, buthe was a brave little fellow, and only said to Mrs. Martha MatildaNimpky,--
"Nurse, what do all those mans make that noise for?"
The Nurse said something to quiet him, and they all sat down again; andthen the Lord High Adjudicator, after conferring with some of the othergentlemen, said,--
"Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky, on behalf of the rest of the Committee andmyself, I should like to say that we think you have behaved in a verypraiseworthy manner in obeying His Invisible Highness' wishes so.carefully, and we shall be very glad indeed if you will accept the postof Grand Perpetual Nurse to the King of Zum (for of course His RoyalHighness will be crowned to-morrow) at a suitable salary and a choice ofapartments in the Royal Palace."
"Hear, hear!" shouted several of the Committee, while the Kitchen Pokerin Waiting foolishly started singing, "For she's a jolly good fellow,"and was promptly suppressed.
"I shall be delighted, gentlemen, to accept 'the position!" said Mrs.Martha Matilda Nimpky, looking greatly pleased.
"Then there is nothing further to be done but to conduct you to thePalace and to make preparations for His Royal Highness' Coronationto-morrow," said the Lord High Adjudicator, leading the way to the door.
The Royal Nurse took the Prince's hand, and was preparing to follow,when the little fellow caught sight of Boy, who had been sitting withOne-and-Nine and the M.D. listening with the greatest attention to allthat was going on.
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"Who's that boy, Nurse?" asked the Prince.
"Hush, dear, I don't know," said the Royal Nurse.
"But I want him to come and play with me," demanded His Royal Highness,"and that Soldier man, too."
"My dear, you must be a good boy and come with Nurse. Perhaps anotherday the little boy will be allowed to play with you," said the RoyalNurse, trying to lead him along.
/> "But I want him to come now, Nurse dear," persisted the little Prince.
"If His Royal Highness desires it," suggested the Busybody inExtraordinary, "you had better let the boy accompany you to the Palace.When His Royal Highness is made King to-morrow, you know, his wisheswill have to be obeyed absolutely."
So Boy and One-and-Nine were told to follow the others into the Palace,which joined the House of Words, and which was a very magnificent place.A large crowd of Servants were in the Hall, and outside Boy could hearshouts of "Long live the King! Long live the King!" For the news of thelittle Prince's arrival had travelled quickly, and the people were alldelighted to welcome a grandson of the late King, who had beengreatly beloved, notwithstanding a very awkward circumstance about aPortmanteau, which, perhaps, I will tell you later on.
The little Prince and the Royal Nurse were conducted up the grandstaircase, the Prince turning around to Boy and saying, "Good-night,little Boy, I'm sleepy tired now, but I shall see you to-morrow," whileBoy and One-and-Nine were led in another direction to a suite of roomsoverlooking a beautiful garden. Here they were served with a bountifulsupper by a Footman, who had been set apart to wait upon them only. Hisname, Boy found out, was Caesar Maximilian Augustus Claudius Smith, buthe was called Thomas for short. Thomas was a very nice man, Boy thought,and although he seemed to think a great deal of himself he was very kindto them.
After they had finished supper and Thomas had cleared away the supperthings, Boy noticed that One-and-Nine seemed very quiet.
"Is there anything the matter?" he asked anxiously.
"I am afraid," remarked One-and-Nine sadly, "that she will nevercondescentionise to affectionate me."
"Who?" exclaimed Boy.
"That majestuous lady, the Royal Nurse," said One-and-Nine, sighingsentimentally.
"You don't mean to say that you have fallen in love with her, surely?"said Boy, feeling greatly inclined to laugh.
"Who could help it?" declared the Wooden Soldier. "I am completelysmot!"
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"Smot! What's that?" asked Boy.
"Smite, smitten, smot," exclaimed One-and-Nine.
"And what a charmaceous name, too," he continued--"Martha MatildaNimpky. How lovelyish! Do you think she cares for me even a smallishbit?"
"Well, I'm afraid she scarcely saw you, you know," said Boy. "Perhapsshe will when she knows you better," he added, wishing to comfort thepoor lovesick soldier.
"Do you think it would be wise to send her a love-letter?" askedOne-and-Nine anxiously, "or an Ode," he suggested, brightening up. "Yes,I'll write her an Ode--that's what I'll do."
"I'm afraid I don't quite know what an Ode is," admitted Boy; "but Isuppose it won't do any harm to send it."
"Oh, an Ode is a kind of Poemish letter that people send when they arein love. I've Oded before," said One-and-Nine, giggling foolishly.
"What shall you say?" inquired Boy.
"Well, let me see," said One-and-Nine. "In Oding a lady you have tothink of what you most admire in her, and take that as your subject.The last time I Oded, you know, it was about Miss Dolly-girl's eyes. Itbegan thusly:=
```"'The Rose is red, the Violet's blue,
```But neither have such eyes as you.
```Yours are the kind I most admire;
```They shut and open with a wire.'=
Miss Dolly-girl told me she was much flatterated by thecomplimentation."
A knock at the door interrupted the conversation at this point, andon Boy's calling out "Come in," to their great surprise His AbsoluteNothingness the Public Rhymester entered. He was weeping, and carriedan enormous pocket-handkerchief, which he put to his eyes every now andthen.
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"I heard that you were greatly in favour with the young Prince," hebegan, in a broken voice, "and thought I would ask you if you wouldkindly try and have me restored to my position as Court Poet again. Iassure you I am not really half as bad as they tried to make out at theCommittee Meeting this morning. The fact of the matter was I had justreceived a great shock, and it had driven all the poetry out of my head.Just as I was starting in the morning my wife told me that the cook hadleft and the man had called for the taxes. It was enough to upset anyone, wasn't it?"
"Well," said Boy, who was a kind-hearted little fellow, "I don't knowthat we can do much for you, but I will certainly speak to the Prince onyour behalf to-morrow if you wish."
"Oh, thank you! thank you very much, sir," said the Public Rhymester,brightening up at once, and vainly trying to stuff his handkerchief,which was quite as large as a small table-cloth, into his pocket. "Andif I can ever do anything for you, write you a Valentine, you know, oryour Epitaph, I shall be only too delighted." One-and-Nine, who had beensitting bolt upright while this conversation was going on, seemed to besuddenly-struck with a bright inspiration.
"Are you an Oder?" he asked abruptly of the Public Rhymester.
"An Oder?" repeated he vaguely. "What's that?"
"A person who writes Odes, of course," replied the Wooden Soldier;"because, if you are, I should be greatly obligated if you would kindlywrite one for me. I intentionized writing it myself, but I have beenconsiderizing that it would be more properish to have it written by areal Poet."
"Oh, thank you, sir, thank you!" cried the Public Rhymester gratefully,"it is very kind indeed of you to say that. A poor Poet, you know, getsvery little praise from any one nowadays, especially a Minor one, suchas I am. Why, a Grand Old Statesman said the other day--but there, Imustn't let you into State Secrets. What is the subject upon which youwish me to write?"
"Oh,--a--a--lady," said One-and-Nine bashfully, blushing up to the rootsof his green paint.
"Of course," said the Public Rhymester smilingly; "it usually is."
"And particularly about er--er--a--the corkscrew curls, you know," saidOne-and-Nine, stammering nervously. "Such delightfulish fascinationizingcurls--six on each side, you know--and they woggle when she shakesher head--oh, dearest, _dearest_ Martha Matilda," and the poor WoodenSoldier seemed quite overcome by his emotions.
"Ah! these military men, these military men," said the Public Rhymester,shaking his head, "what susceptible creatures they are, to be sure,always in love with some fair one or other! But there, we must do thebest we can for him, I suppose. What is the lady's name?" he inquired.
"Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky," replied One-and-Nine faintly.
"What! the Royal Nurse?" exclaimed the Public Rhymester in surprise.
The Wooden Soldier nodded his head.
"Well, I hope you'll win her," said the Public Rhymester, "though Ithink it's only fair to warn you that you must expect to have a greatmany rivals. Don't you see," he went on, "being Nurse to the littleKing, she is sure to have immense influence over him, and so will be oneof the most important people in the kingdom. Oh, she's sure to haveno end of suitors; however, you are first in the field, and a handsomemilitary man like yourself ought to stand a good chance. Now don't speakto me for a few moments while I write the poem for you."
The Wooden Soldier and Boy sat perfectly still while the PublicRhymester took a note-book and pencil from his pocket and began to walkrapidly up and down the apartment, pausing now and then to jot somethingdown in his book, and occasionally clutching his hair and rolling hiseyes about violently. Once Boy sneezed, and the Public Rhymesterglared at him fiercely and then told him that he had entirely driven abeautiful word which _might_ have rhymed with cucumber out of his head,and he would have to alter the whole verse. At last, however, the poemwas finished and the Public Rhymester proudly read as follows:--
TO MRS. M. M. N.
``"Oh, Martha most majestic,
```Matilda quite sublime,
``For thee I'd do the bravest deeds,
```Most giddy heights would climb.=
``"Oh! almond rock's delicious,
```And so is clotted cream,
``And Birthday Cake is not so bad;
```But these things tasteless seem;=
``"
For I have seen Matilda,
```And other joys have fled,
``Her dazzling beauty's vanquished me,
```And turned my wooden head.=
`"I love thee, dear Matilda,
```Far more than other girls,
``For there's not one amongst them all
```That wears such corkscrew curls.=
``"Such lovely little corkscrew curls,
```Just six on either side,
``That woggle when you shake your head--
```Oh, will you be my bride?"=
"Isn't the last line rather abrupteous?" inquired One-and-Nine when hehad finished.
"Why, that's the best part about it," replied the Public Rhymester. "Yousee you pop the question so suddenly that you quite take the lady bystorm--and that line comparing her to 'other girls' is very wise, youknow; she is sure to feel flattered at that."
"Do you think that I ought to sign my name at the bottom of it?" askedOne-and-Nine, folding the paper up neatly.
"I shouldn't if I were you," replied the Public Rhymester. "You cansee what effect this has upon the lady, and if you think that she ispleased, I should follow it up with another, but I shouldn't sign myname at first; it will make it a little mysterious, you know, and ladieslike that sort of thing, I am told. But now I must be off. Good-night.You won't forget to do the best you can for me to-morrow, will you?" andthe Public Rhymester hurried away with his enormous handkerchief tuckedunder his arm, while One-and-Nine sealed up the Poem--after adding thefollowing words, which he thought might improve it:=
```"The rose is red, the violet's blue,
```Sardines are nice, and so are you"--=
and handed it to Caesar Maximilian Augustus Claudius Smith (calledThomas for short), to deliver, and then, after saying good-night to Boy,retired to his own room, which was on the other side of the corridor.
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Boy sat up a little while longer, thinking of all the strange thingswhich had been happening; and then he followed the Wooden Soldier'sexample and went to rest too.