Part of her didn't understand how he could just leave her so quickly like that. But then she thought she was being selfish.
“Think about all his other fans.” She told herself. “They missed him for all those months just as much as you miss him now.”
She knew he wasn't going to come back but that she still had hope. He would wait for him to return to her every day. She would sit at the window for hours on end, watching cars pass and pray that one of them was going to turn into her driveway an bring Tyler back to her. None of them ever did.
She began to realize what that odd feeling she had never felt before was. It was love. She had finally learned to love someone. She learned to love Tyler.
Unsure of what to do, her father just let her be. She was already out of school but he didn't force her to go to dance or even leave her room. He would bring food up to her every so often, give a weak smile, and leave.
“What am I supposed to do?” He would sit at his kitchen counter, looking up to the heavens and ask his dead wife. “What would you do, dear? Let her sit there in her room and cry all day and all night? I don't think that's very healthy for her. I just wish there was something I could do...”
He waited for the next few days and hoped his answer would come. He went to the nearest Hot Topic to buy things for his daughter. He thought maybe new t-shirts or a new CD might cheer her up.
He looked around and spotted a t-shirt with a familiar face on it. He recognized the boy as the one Carolyn had spent so much time with. Suddenly, everything clicked. The boy on the t-shirt was the boy Carolyn had become such good friends with. The t-shirt was an Alternative Abeyance t-shirt. Alternative Abeyance was Carolyn's favorite band. This was bound to cheer her up, he thought.
He brought the shirt up to the heavily tattooed guy with many piercings and neon blue hair standing behind the counter. The guy scanned the tag and glanced at the shirt before folding it up and putting it in a bag.
"That'll be 22.50" He said. As Carolyn's father rummaged through his wallet, looking for a twenty, the guy continued. "You know, they're on tour right now. They'll actually be in Lowell within the next couple weeks."
The father's head shot up and all his attention was focused on the guy in front of him. "Where can I buy tickets?" He asked immediately.
"Here, I can bring the website up now and you can pay for them right here if you want." The guy said. "I'll can put your address in and have them sent to your house."
"You, son, are a miracle." The father replied. He looked up at the ceiling and smiled. This was his wife giving him that answer he had been waiting for.
Ch. 18
"I cannot believe this!" Amber squealed.
Of course, Carolyn's dad had gotten her two tickets in case she had a friend that wanted to tag along. And also because he was worried about her going off alone in the city. If she hadn't had Amber come along, he would have gone with her just to be safe.
"I know," Carolyn agreed. "I can't wait to see Tyler again."
"I can't wait to see the whole band!" Amber exclaimed. "I've never been to a concert before. Are they nice? Oh my god, I'm going to start shaking or crying or faint or all three."
Carolyn just laughed at her friend's excitement. She can't remember a time where she had ever been this happy in her whole life. She was with her best friend and she was about to go and see her true love. She wondered if Tyler was going to care she was there or if he would even see her in the crowd. She wondered what he would do if he saw her and began fantasizing about him calling her up on stage and letting her sing the song he wrote for her with him. She could see it now. As they stood on the stage together, gazing into one another's eyes and singing to each other. But of course, that would never happen.
“Alright, you girls have fun.” Her father said as he pulled up to the end of the already rapidly growing line.
The girls jumped out of the car, receiving strange glances from a few people in line. It was as if they had never seen someone get out of a hearse before. Oh wait...
“We have to get you to the front so Tyler can see you!” Amber informed her like it was some big plan.
“As if Tyler even knows who you are.” Some girl behind them with neon pink hair scoffed.
“What, is he like your best friend or something? You guys talk every day?” Amber taunted.
The girl rolled her eyes. “I'm just saying, you don't want to get your hopes up that he'll notice you. Just because you're in the front row doesn't mean he's going to see you and automatically fall in love with you.” She rolled her eyes again and muttered “Fangirls...” under her breath.
“We weren't asking for you input in the first place.” Amber shot back. “This was a closed conversation. Next time, mind your own business, would you?”
The girl gave her an insulted look and Amber and Carolyn turned back around in the now moving line.
“Don't worry about her.” Amber said to Carolyn. “She doesn't know the history between you guys. She's just judging us because we don't look like they do with their neon hair and insane piercings. She just thinks we're posers or something.”
Carolyn just shrugged as the line slowly crept along the concrete sidewalk. She wasn't going to let one stupid girl's comment ruin her whole night.
As soon as the two girls passed through the door to the venue, they ran as fast as they could through the crowd to get to the front. They pushed people out of the way and almost tripped over one guy's leg on their mad dash to the barrier. The theater was filling up fast.
“We did it...” Carolyn said, breathlessly as they stood right in front of the metal barrier.
“Now all we have to do is get Tyler's attention when he's on stage.” Amber smiled widely.
After about twenty minutes, the lights dimmed and the crowd began to go wild, chanting "Alternative Abeyance!" over and over again.
Carolyn's breath hitched in her throat when she saw Tyler strut out on stage in his skin tight, leather pants.
"Hey guys! How's everyone doing tonight?" Tyler's deep voice penetrated her ears.
The crowd responded with wild fits of screams and shouts. Carolyn watched as a huge smile spread across Tyler's face at the crowd's reaction. At that moment, she could really tell that this was what made him happy. She didn't feel bad about letting him leave. She knew it had all been for the best.
Tyler scanned the crowd, taking in as many of his fan's faces as he could. His eyes stopped roaming when they landed on a very familiar pair of deep, ocean blue ones. His heart began to pound harder in his chest as his breath stopped for just a second. He was staring into the eyes of Carolyn.
"So..." Tyler began to say into the microphone again. "I want to dedicate this next song to a special someone in the audience." He looked back at Spencer, Tony, and Ryan who were sharing confused glances with each other. "Mortician's Daughter." He mouthed to them.
Tyler winked at Carolyn and her heart skipped a beat.
"I think he noticed you." Amber whispered to her.
"OH MY GOD." They suddenly heard a girl shouting behind them. "I'M THE SPECIAL GIRL, AREN'T I? I LOVE YOU TOO, TYLER!" The girl screamed and Carolyn couldn't help but share a laugh with Amber.
As the song began to play, Carolyn stopped laughing. She quickly realized that the song playing was the song she wrote and almost the whole time, Tyler was looking right at her. It was as if he was singing to her and only her; just like back in the cemetery.
--
As the crowd began to file out at the end of the show, someone tapped Carolyn on the shoulder and she turned to see a very large security guard with a bright yellow shirt on.
"I was told to bring you back stage." The security guard stated in his voice that was deeper than Tyler's.
"O-Okay." Carolyn stuttered. "Can my friend come along? We came together. I don't want to leave her alone."
The guard looked from Carolyn to Amber and then back to Carolyn again. "Oh, I suppose." He agreed.
Amber and Carol
yn exchanged an excited glance as they followed the huge man back stage.
As soon as they walked through the heavy stage doors, Carolyn was embraced by someone much taller than her.
"I thought I would never see you again." He mumbled into her blonde hair.
"I could say the same." She responded.
He let go of her and pulled back so he could take in her angel face. "How have you been?"
"Since you left?" Carolyn asked. "Not great..." She admitted.
"I'm sorry..." Tyler looked down at the floor.
When darkness is all you see, this is our sweet blasphemy—
“Hello?” Carolyn answered her phone. She sent Tyler an 'I'm sorry' glance. “Yeah, we'll be right out. I'm sorry, Dad.”
“We have to go?” Amber pouted as Carolyn put her phone back in her pocket.
Carolyn nodded sullenly. “It was really nice to see you, Tyler...”
She turned and walked out the stage doors with Amber into the hall where the guard was waiting to guide them back to the front of the building.
Tyler stood there feeling completely defeated. He watched her walk out on him just like he had done to her.
Ch. 19
Tyler sat in his bunk on the bus, thinking about how he felt. As he sat there, contemplating his feelings, he began to realize that this is how Carolyn must have felt when he left her like that. It was an awful feeling. He felt empty, hollow, and dead inside.
"I have to go to her." He stood up, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door.
"Tyler, where are you going?" Tony called after him.
"I need to go to her. I can't just leave things the way they were left off. I need to fix this." He said before he jumped off the bus and ran towards the main road. He jumped in the first taxi cab to stop for him and gave the driver Carolyn's address. If this wasn't love, he didn't know what that was.
--
After seeing Tyler again, Carolyn's mind began to become cluttered with thoughts and racing emotions. She didn't know whether to smile or cry or both. Love involved too many feelings. So, she did the only thing she knew that could get rid of all these pestering thoughts. She was going to dance.
She grabbed her ballet shoes and headed out into the cemetery. The fog today was extra heavy and the sun was beginning to set. She knew she was going to need to be quick before it got too dark. Even though she loved the cemetery, it was scary during the night.
She started to sway and immediately the thoughts and feelings began to dissipate. She already felt relieved of everything. Until a coarse hand gripped her cheeks and covered her mouth. Now all she felt was fear and extreme panic.
She tried to scream but it was no use. She tried to pry the hand from her lips but he was too strong.
“This,” He began. “Is for everything you and your father have done to me. You saved that faggot, and your father took away from me the only good thing I ever had in my life.”
Something sharp was thrust into her side and she cried out in pain. The man let go of her body and she fell limp to the ground, clutching her bloody side and praying for help.
“Get away from her!” A familiar voice shouted.
She tried to look up and saw her hero standing there, answering her prayers. “Tyler.” Was the last thing she managed to say before everything went dark.
“What did she ever do to you?” Tyler asked. “Please... I love her...”
When the man heard that, his facial expression softened and he was immediately overcome with a rush of memories.
“You can't do this to me, James. I love her and you know that.”
“She doesn't love you back, Riley. She loves me.”
“I thought we were friends... Friends don't just do that to each other.”
“Well then I guess we aren't friends.”
“You're going to regret this one day. Just wait.”
“I'm... I'm so sorry...” The man looked down at the lifeless body in front of him and then walked away. He had realized he just killed the love of his life all over again but this time in the form of her daughter.
Tyler rushed over to Carolyn's side and lifted her in his arms. “No, Carolyn, wake up. Please.” He begged her still, cold body. “You can't leave me again…”
Ch. 20
Carolyn was lost. She looked around the empty, white room for Tyler or her father or anyone who she might know but there was no one. The room was empty.
She stood there, contemplating what to do next. Should she run? Yell for help? All she really felt like doing was crying. She was alone and scared. She could still feel a slight annoying pain in her side and all she really hoped was she wasn't dead.
“Hello.” A voice from behind her startled her.
She turned to see a black haired boy around her age dressed in all white. “H-Hello.” She responded. “Could you tell me where I am?”
The boy shook his head. “I can't disclose that information. But I can tell you the answer to your next question. You are indeed dead.”
Just hearing the words was enough confirmation for her but she still didn't want to think it true. “I can't be dead. No, I refuse to believe it.” She said.
“Oh? Well take my hand and I'll show you.” He held out his hand for her.
She eyed his hand suspiciously. “What's your name?”
“Eric.” He said matter-of-factly.
Carolyn nodded in acknowledgement and placed her hand in his. Immediately, there was a rush of wind and the two were standing in Carolyn's living room with Tyler and her father.
“This is my house.” She looked around at the familiar sight.
“But look.” Eric pointed in front of them.
Tyler and her father were kneeling over her lifeless body that lay resting on their couch. She could see the pain in both their eyes and knew that her father was trying to stay strong while Tyler's tears stained her shirt.
“Why are we here? Why are you doing this to me?” A tear escaped down and trailed down her cheek as well.
“To prove to you that you are in fact dead. You didn't believe me. And to answer your next question, no. They cannot see you.” He replied.
Carolyn shook her head. She couldn't believe this was all happening. Tyler came back for her but now she couldn't go back to him.
“I want to leave. Take me back, Eric.” She couldn't take her eyes off Tyler's tortured, pale face.
Eric didn't answer.
“Eric?” She looked behind her to find that he was gone. “Eric? No, you can't leave me here. Eric, please! You can't leave me here on my own!” She clenched her eyes shut tight and prayed for someone to save her. She couldn't stand to be here and look at the grieving faces of her loved ones any longer.
Someone tapped on her shoulder. “Carolyn.” The voice cooed.
She turned around and saw the last person she expected to be standing in front of her. “Mom?”
Her mother embraced her and more tears fell from Carolyn's blue eyes. “It's me, dear. I'm here. I always have been.”
“Mom, I want to leave. I don't want to be dead anymore.” Carolyn pleaded.
“Do you still feel pain in your side where he stabbed you?” She asked, looking into her daughter's pain stricken eyes.
Carolyn moved her torso and winced slightly. “Yeah, I do.”
Her mother nodded. “Okay, close your eyes, honey. All you have to do is believe that you are still alive. If you believe it, it will happen.”
Carolyn closed her eyes but her mother spoke again. “Oh, darling? Before you leave me, tell your father I love him very much.”
Carolyn nodded and closed her eyes. She willed herself to keep living. She thought of all the good things she had to live for. She had Tyler and her father. She had her whole dance career ahead of her. She could move to New York and be on Broadway. She could move to LA to be with Tyler.
“Carolyn,” She could hear in the distance. Someone was calling to her. “Carolyn, wake up. Please, wake up
.”
She could see a bright light from behind her eyelids. She could feel herself resurfacing. This was it.
Ch. 21
She didn't even have time to think, let alone breathe, before Tyler was pulling her close to him. He wanted to feel the new warmth of her body against him instead of the cold that once inhabited it.
“You're here.” He said and held her closer. “You came back to me.”
“Carolyn,” He father swooped down and hugged his daughter as well. “My daughter, my sweet, sweet daughter.” He kissed the top of her head.
“I'm surprised you both missed me so much. I was only gone for a few minutes.” She looked at them both.
“A few minutes too many.” Tyler commented.
Her father agreed but then became extremely serious. “Honey, do you know who did this to you?” He asked.
“I don't know his name...” Carolyn looked down. “But he said something about you, Dad.”
Her father's face drained of color. He knew exactly who this was. “I'll... I'll be right back, guys. Just stay here, whatever you do.”
He father stood up from the couch and went outside to the cemetery where he had found Carolyn's body with Tyler.
“Riley? I know you're still out there somewhere. Just... Come out and talk to me like normal adults.” He demanded.
There was a rustling in the bushes as the killer from before, Riley, emerged into the bright light of the moon.
James, Carolyn's father, shook his head at Riley standing there before him. “First my wife, Riley, and now my daughter and her little boyfriend?”
“I killed Emily to make you suffer for everything you did to me. When I saw your daughter and how much she resembled her, I couldn't help it. I just got so angry and I had to get rid of her. It killed me to see how much she looked like Emily and I didn't want any trace of Emily anywhere.” Riley explained. By this time, he started choking on tears. “I loved her, James.”
James just watched Riley weep on his knees in front of him and beg for forgiveness. It hadn't been as satisfying as he thought it would have been.
“Stand up, Riley. I can't bear to see you like this anymore.” James said.
“Call the police.” Riley replied. “I'm done. I surrender. I see how much pain and damage I have done to you. I'm turning myself in. Just... let it all end.”
James dialed the number and placed the phone to his ear. “Yes, I have caught the man of the deadly murder that occurred about fifteen years ago. He's in my backyard.”
--
There were flashing police lights and sirens everywhere. A couple of police men burst through the front door and stormed out to the cemetery where the killer was waiting to be taken away for good.
Tyler and Carolyn remained on the couch the whole time. Tyler just wanted to be with Carolyn for as long as possible before he had to leave again.
“As soon as the police leave, I'm going to have to go as well. The guys are going to be wondering where I am...” Tyler said solemnly. He hated to have to leave her again but it was just the way things were going to be.
“What's going to happen to us?” Carolyn asked. It was a good question. Tyler wasn't going to stop touring for a while, and Carolyn didn't want to be a bother to Tyler while he was on tour, either.
“I'll be just a phone call away if you ever need me. And I promise I will come back to you soon. I'll visit every time we're in town for a show and I'll make sure I come visit when we're not touring.” Tyler said. The last thing he wanted was for her to be sad again.
She nodded and agreed. They couldn't be physically with each other but they both knew there was a special place in each of their hearts for each other.
END
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