Chapter 2
On the way home from church Mrs Galen insisted on walking even though I offered to let her ride again. I saw she had been crying and wasn't sure why, but suspected it was the dress that was still hidden away in their bag along with the shoes I had placed there. Mr Galen was smiling, but looking around as though he had done something wrong. I thought back on the story in church and thought how strange it was it came without warning. Mr and Mrs Galen always told us what the following weeks lessons were going to be about, but the lesson in church didn't follow along what the previous weeks outline for what this week was supposed to be about. Instead, they told us about the Mystic Rose, how no one really knew what the Mystic Rose was, but there were many, many stories about it, and they all held one truth in common.
They looked at me smiling as they told one of the stories of the Mystic Rose, this story told that the Rose was a person who gave of them-self without thought of what hardship their giving might bring on them. No one ever knew for sure who the Rose was, only that in this instance it was a person. I started to feel uncomfortable as they told the story knowing if mom and dad ever found out about the dress and shoes I would be punished even more than for having given my seat on the carriage to Mrs Galen.
The story made it sound like they were saying I was the Mystic Rose, something I couldn't accept. Yes, I wanted to help those less fortunate than I was. No, I didn't want anyone to know it was me, but surely I wasn't the Mystic Rose. When we got home I just wanted to lay down for a little, to rest and think of what this day had brought so far. Was that all it took to be the Mystic Rose? Give a little help wherever you could without thought of what might happen to yourself personally. It couldn't be that simple if it were more people would give just to claim the title, and seek the glory of the stories.
Mom wanted me to help in the kitchen once I changed out of my church finery into everyday clothes. All I wanted was to rest, but resting would have to wait until the meal was served and the dishes cleared away. I started changing my clothes and Ralph came in saying he had a secret and he was going to tell mom and dad and I would be in big trouble. I thought of the dress and shoes and figured somehow he knew I had been the one to give it, but before I could say or do anything he darted out of my room. A short time later mom and dad came in asking if it was true I had given my seat on the carriage to Mrs Galen on the way to church.
“Alex how are you ever going to learn your place in society if you keep letting those of lower station feel equal?” Dad said.
I didn't understand I was a girl of almost marriage age, but still only a girl. Mrs Galen was a person and I didn't see how I was any better than her, simply because I had been born into a family that had more money. As far as I knew we were equal, and I knew my place in society. I thought of the boy mom and dad had been looking into for me to marry and hated the idea, but knew he liked the idea of me as his wife.
Me a wife? I could see it now I knew the boy I wouldn't mind so much being the wife of, but mom and dad would never approve of him since his family didn't have the money to keep us in the status mom and dad thought appropriate for their only daughter.
“Dad I gave Mrs Galen my seat on the carriage because she was having trouble walking on the way to church and wouldn't have been able to keep up,” I said.
Here came the lecture of Mrs Galen was servant class and therefore shouldn't be pampered with such menial things as taking a seat for someone else that has been bought and paid for. I knew the lectures all by heart, I received enough of them over the years. It upset mom and dad to no end, that try as they might I continued to do things that showed those from the servant class as being my equal.
I knew also that the lecture I received was less harsh than the lecture the carriage driver would receive for not having paid better attention about Mrs Galen taking my seat. It wouldn't surprise me to see someone else driving the carriage next week and the driver from this week would disappear never to be seen again.
“Alex are you paying attention to us?” Dad asked.
I was paying attention, at least I thought I was, but whenever they started in on the lectures everything became jumbled in my mind. I knew the words, but the meaning of them got lost so they might as well have been speaking another language. I was sure I nodded that I heard them and was trying to understand, if I did more than that I don't remember. With each idea they brought forth something else came in overwriting it. We were supposed to be better than other families because we had more. What did we have more of though? Sure we had more money, a bigger house, nicer clothes, but did that make us better than others? Did that give us more than others had? I thought of Mr and Mrs Galen and knew they didn't have all the extras we had, but they did have more love and compassion. They regarded everyone as better than themselves, and were often the first to offer help when it was needed. Why couldn't they have been my family? I knew the things I enjoyed they would have approved. But then I wouldn't be in a position to do what I hoped to do one day.
The lecture ended when I was able to repeat back enough of what mom and dad said to satisfy them I had indeed heard what they said. As I said I heard the words, but wasn't able to understand the idea behind the words. I knew if something like what happened this morning were to happen again, I would do the same thing I did this time, the same thing I did every time something like this happened, so mom and dad felt they needed to give me the lecture. It never occurred to them they had given me the same lecture so many times I could repeat it back to them from memory, yet would still do the same thing again and again.
“Alex please don't make us need to have this talk again,” Mom said after dad left. “I don't understand why you keep doing things like this. Do we need to make a stronger statement?”
So mom was aware of giving me the lecture several times, but what did she mean by stronger statement? “Mom I try to do what you and dad want, I really do, but Mrs Galen really wasn't up to the walk to church this morning, if I hadn't given her my seat on the carriage she might not have gone. Isn't it important at least for church that we share with those who have less when we see they have need?” I asked.
I never expected what mom said after my explanation of why I did the things I did.
“I knew that was going to be your answer Alex. I hope the dress and shoes you gave Sara fits, she really does need them,” Mom said.
How did mom know about the dress and shoes. Was it possible she saw me pack them in my bag, and noticed them missing when we got home? I didn't dare say anything to confirm what she said. I wanted what I was doing to go unnoticed if at all possible. I felt if those who had less didn't know where the things I was giving were coming from they would be more willing to accept the random acts of kindness I felt compelled to do.
“Alex I know the dress you gave Sara didn't go with anything else you have, and I have no idea how many of your things you've given to others. I do know you have given away most of the clothes you either out grew, or just haven't worn in a while. I'm not angry about you doing that, I do wish you would stop trying to hide it from me though,” Mom said.
“What would dad say if he knew? Mom I know I shouldn't go behind your back, but I feel giving those things in secret make them worth more to those who receive them,” I said.
“If you're doing it in hopes of being recognized as the Mystic Rose in the future...” Mom started, drawing a horrified look from me.
“I would never do that mom! The last thing I want is anyone to think of me as the Mystic Rose, the little things I do could never measure to what is credited to the Mystic Rose, beside I don't think anyone has a clue what the Mystic Rose is even,” I said.
“Do you know the stories of the Rose? How the Rose can be anything, anything at all? There are things we do know about the Rose. It is for the benefit of the people always, it seeks no glory in what it does and always works in secret, never seeking any recognition for itself. Alex everything about what you are doing leads people to believe you might be
the Mystic Rose,” Mom said.
“Mom I'm still just a child. If I see a need and can help I try, but most of the time there is little I can do to help,” I said.