«I felt awful when the train didn't come in», said Kathleen, crying into her handkerchief, which was already soaking wet. «I felt as if that was one more thing against me! I couldn't even run away because there wasn't a train!»
«It's a good thing you couldn't run away», said William. «It's not a very brave thing to do, is it? You can't get rid of troubles by running away from them, Kathleen. They go with you.»
«Well, what else can you do with troubles?» asked Kathleen, wiping her eyes.
«You can look them in the face and find out the best way to beat them», said Rita. «You were funny, Kathleen – you were really trying to run away from yourself! Nobody can ever do that.»
«Well, you'd want to, if you were like me», said Kathleen. «I'm so unlucky. Nothing nice ever happens to me as it does to other children.»
«And nothing ever will as long as you think and talk like that», said William. «It isn't our luck that makes good or bad things happen, Kathleen, it's just ourselves. For instance, you might say that Jenny has plenty of friends, so she is lucky. But she doesn't have friends because she is lucky – she has them because she is kind and generous and happy. It is her own self that brings her lots of friends, not her luck.»
«Yes – I see that», said Kathleen. «I hadn't thought of that before. But I'm not pretty and happy and generous like Jenny.»
«Well, why not make the best of yourself!» said Rita. «You have a sweet smile, and you have a dimple that goes in and out, though we don't see it very often. If you brushed your hair one hundred times each night and morning as Jenny does, it would look silky and shiny. If you stopped eating so many sweets, your spots would go; and if only you'd go out for more walks and try to play games a bit harder, you would soon get rosy cheeks and happy eyes!»
«Should I!» said Kathleen, beginning to look more cheerful.
Rita fetched a mirror from the mantelpiece and put it in front of Kathleen's sad, tear-stained face. «Smile!», she said. «Go on, smile, you silly girl! Quick! Let me see that dimple!»
Kathleen couldn't help smiling, and she saw her miserable face change in an instant to a much nicer one – and the dimple came in her left cheek. «Yes», she said, «I do look nicer. But I'm so dull and slow too – and think of the mean, horrid things I've done!»
«You're dull and slow because you're not as healthy as you might be, and you're not happy», said William. «Give yourself a chance, do! As for the mean, horrid things you've done – well, you can always make up for those. We all do mean things at times.»
«I'm quite sure you and Rita don't», said Kathleen. «And anyway, William and Rita – please, please don't make me stay in Whyteleafe, because I simply couldn't get up in front of the whole School at the next weekly Meeting and say what I'd done, even to clear Robert. I'm a coward. I know I am, so it's no good pretending that I'm not. I shall leave tomorrow morning if you make me do that.»
«We shan't make you do anything», said William. «It's no good making people do things like that! They must want to do them themselves, if it's to be any good. Well, listen, Kathleen – we'll get Elizabeth to clear Robert of blame, but she shall not say who is to blame; but maybe later on you will feel differently about things, and then you can talk to us again.»
«I shall never be brave enough to own up in front of everyone», said Kathleen. «But I'll stay at Whyteleafe if I don't need to do that, I've told Elizabeth and Jenny and that was hard enough.»
«It was a good thing you did that», said William. «We will see that those children who know that it was you will not tell anyone else. So you need not be afraid that anyone is despising you. Do as Robert has done – turn over a new leaf – and smile as much as you can!»
«I'll try», said Kathleen, putting her wet hanky away. «I don't feel like smiling. I don't even feel like turning over a new leaf. But you've both been so kind to me that I'll try, just to please you.»
«Good!» said Rita and William.
Rita looked at her watch. «It's almost your bedtime», she said. «Have you had any supper – or did you miss it?»
«I missed it», said Kathleen. «But I'm not hungry.»
«Well, William and I are going to make ourselves some cocoa», said Rita. «We are allowed to have our own gas-ring, you know, as we are the head children of the school. Stay and have some cocoa with us – and we've got some good chocolate biscuits too. Even if you are not hungry you will like those!»
In ten minutes' time the three of them were drinking hot cocoa and nibbling chocolate biscuits. William was making jokes, and Kathleen was smiling, her dimple showing in her left cheek. When her bedtime bell went, she got up.
«You are kind», she said, tears coming into her eyes again. «I won't forget this evening. I'm glad you're the head boy and girl – I think you're fine!»
«Cheer up!» said William. «You'll find things are never so bad as they seem. Good-night!»
Chapter 18: Things Are Better!
Elizabeth was up early, and went out to the stables. Robert was there, saddling the horses, whistling softly to himself. He was completely happy. He was looking after something he loved, caring for the horses, and getting back from them the affection he gave them.
«It's a lovely warm feeling», he told Elizabeth. «I never had it before, because I never had a pet – and anyway, I never much cared for any animal except horses. William and Rita couldn't possibly have thought of anything nicer! It seems queer, doesn't it, that instead of being punished for bullying, I get a marvellous treat like this! And yet it's stopped me from being beastly far more quickly than any punishment would. I just don't want to be horrid now.»
«You can't be horrid to anyone when you're feeling happy», said Elizabeth wisely. «I know I can't. I just want to be warm and generous then. Come on – let's go. Oh, Robert, isn't it queer to be friends after being such dreadful enemies!»
Robert laughed as he sprang on to Bess's back. The horse whinnied and tossed her head. She loved to know that Robert was riding her. The two children cantered down the grassy path and then galloped off over the hills. Elizabeth had ridden for years, and rode well. Robert rode well too, and the pair of them enjoyed their gallop tremendously.
They shouted to one another as they rode. Then Elizabeth had an idea.
«I say!» she yelled. «Will you take Kathleen Peters with you sometimes? She might get red cheeks then!»
«Kathleen! I can't bear her!» shouted back Robert. «She's an awful girl. Surely you aren't going to be friends with her!»
«Well, I am», cried Elizabeth. «I don't like her, Robert, any more than I liked you. But I've been so wrong about people lately that for all I know I may get to like her very much. Anyway, I'm going to give her a chance. So will you help?»
«All right», said Robert. «She doesn't ride badly. But come too, I really don't think I could hear to go galloping with her by myself. I should be bored stiff! There's one thing about you – nobody could ever be bored with you! You're either very, very nice, or very, very horrid!»
«Don't tease me about that», said Elizabeth, slowing down her horse, «I'm turning over a new leaf too! I want to be nice always. In fact, when I came back to Whyteleafe this term I had made up my mind to do my very, very best and be as nice as I could. And really, I've made the most awful muddles and mistakes! I know that I shall never be made a monitor!»
«You know, I'd rather like to be», said Robert. «It must be a lovely feeling to be trusted and looked up to, and to sit at the Jury's table. Still, we're neither of us ever likely to do that. I made a bad beginning this term – and you were the naughtiest girl in the school last term. My word – you must have been bad!»
Robert and Elizabeth were happy when they went in to breakfast that morning. Their cheeks were red with the cold wind, and their eyes sparkled. Elizabeth smiled at Kathleen, who was sitting in her usual place at the table, looking happier but rather nervous. «Hallo, Kathleen!» said Elizabeth. «Hallo, everybody! Golly, I'm hungry! I could eat twenty
sausages and twelve eggs!»
«Have you been riding?» asked Kathleen, pushing the toast towards Elizabeth. «My goodness, you are red! The wind has made you look like a Red Indian!»
Elizabeth laughed. «It was fun», she said. «You should get up early and come riding too.»
«Yes, do», said Robert. «You ride well, Kathleen, why don't you come with Elizabeth and me sometimes? We could gallop for miles!»
Kathleen flushed with pleasure. She smiled warmly and everyone noticed at once how her dimple danced in and out. «I'd love to», she said. «Thanks awfully. I like that horse called Bess best.»
«Do you really!» said Robert in surprise. «How funny! So do I! She is a perfect darling, honestly she is. You know, she was limping yesterday and I was awfully worried.»
Soon he was telling Kathleen all about Bess and Captain, and Kathleen listened eagerly. She really knew quite a lot about horses, but for once she didn't boast, but listened humbly, glad that someone should speak to her in such a warm and friendly manner. She tried to remember not to let her mouth droop down at the corners in the way that made her so plain, but looked pleasant, and laughed at Robert's jokes.
She had been dreading that breakfast-time. It wasn't going to be easy to face Elizabeth, Jenny, Joan, and Nora, all of whom knew her poor, unhappy secrets. But after all it wasn't a bit difficult. Kathleen couldn't help feeling the warm generosity of the four girls near her, and it made her humble and happy instead of awkward and ashamed. So breakfast was very pleasant, though some of the form were most astonished to see Robert and Elizabeth so friendly.
«You are a funny girl, Elizabeth», said Kenneth. «One day you are enemies and the next you are friends!»
«Last term Elizabeth was my bitterest enemy!» said Harry, with a laugh. «I pinned a notice on her back, and on it was printed “I'm the Bold Bad Girl! I bark! I bite! Beware!” My goodness, how furious you were, Elizabeth!»
«Yes, I was», said Elizabeth, remembering. «But it seems rather a funny joke to me now. Let's come and look at the notice-board, Harry. I can see a new notice pinned up there.»
They went across to look at it. There was a new notice, rather an exciting one! “Elizabeth Allen has been chosen to play in the match against Uphill School” it said. Elizabeth stared at the notice, her cheeks on fire.
«Goodness!» she cried. «I've really been chosen this time! Last time Robert was chosen, and I was to take his place – but this time I've been chosen! I am pleased!»
«Yes – and this time it's an Away Match, not a Home Match», said Harry. «You'll have the fun of going off in the motor-coach to Uphill School. You are lucky!»
«Oh, it's marvellous!» cried Elizabeth, and she danced away to tell Joan and Jenny. Kathleen was with them, and the four were all smiles as they discussed the match.
«If only we could come and watch you shoot a goal!» said Joan, slipping her arm through her friend's. «I do hope it won't rain this time, Elizabeth.»
«Oh, it couldn't be so unkind!» cried Elizabeth. «Joan! Kathleen! Come and give me some practice at catching before dinner this morning, will you!»
Kathleen beamed. So few children ever asked her to do anything. It was lovely to be wanted.
«You really have got a nice smile!» said Joan, looking at her. «Come on – there's the bell. For goodness' sake hurry. I was half a second late yesterday morning and Miss Ranger nearly went up in flames about it!»
Kathleen found herself humming a tune as she ran to get her books. How decent the girls were! It was easy to smile when you were happy. Kathleen had smiled at herself once or twice in the mirror that morning, and really it was simply astonishing what a difference it made to her plain face! She had spoken sternly to herself: «No more sweets for you! No more greediness! No more silliness at all! Smile and be nice, for goodness' sake!» And the face in the mirror smiled back at her, its dimple showing well. Who would have thought that a smile could have made so much difference to anyone?
When school was over that morning, Elizabeth rushed with Kathleen and Jean to get lacrosse sticks to practise catching and shooting. They bumped into Robert as they ran down the passage.
«Gracious! What hurricanes!» said Robert. «Whatever are you in such a hurry for?»
«We're going to give Elizabeth some practice at catching», cried Joan. «Didn't you know she has been chosen to play in the match against Uphill School on Saturday?»
«No – I didn't know», said Robert, his face falling for a moment, for he was bitterly disappointed. He had very much hoped that he would be chosen himself – for after all he had been chosen before, and Elizabeth had taken his place, though the match hadn't been played, as it happened. Now Elizabeth was chosen. “Well, I mustn't be small about this” he thought. “I'll have plenty of chances to play in matches later on, I expect.” He shouted after Elizabeth: «Good for you, Elizabeth! Wish I could watch you shoot a goal!» He went off.
Elizabeth turned to Joan. «That was nice of Robert, wasn't it?», she said.
Joan looked at her. «Did you see his face when he heard that you had been chosen?», she said.
«No, why?» asked Elizabeth in surprise.
«He looked awfully disappointed, that's all», said Joan, getting out her lacrosse stick. «I expect he hoped that he might get the chance this time, as he was prevented last time by the School Meeting.»
«Oh», said Elizabeth. She got her lacrosse stick too, and the three girls went out in the playing- field. Soon they were throwing the ball to one another, and then Kathleen went into goal and let the other two shoot the ball at her.
But Elizabeth didn't enjoy the practice very much after all. She was thinking of Robert. She had prevented him from being able to play in the match last Saturday – and she couldn't help feeling that it wasn't very fair that she should be playing this Saturday. «Though, of course, I didn't play last Saturday because of the rain», she said to herself. She caught the ball and threw it to Joan.
«But I would have played if it hadn't rained, and then I would have played two Saturdays running, and Robert wouldn't have played once – though he really was chosen last week. I'm beginning to feet uncomfortable about it. I think I'll go and ask Nora what she thinks.»
So after dinner Elizabeth went to find Nora. The monitors were always ready to hear anyone's troubles, and the children went to them readily.
«Nora! Do you think I ought to let Robert play in the match on Saturday instead of me?» asked Elizabeth. «You know it was because of me that he was told he mustn't play last Saturday. Well – I know he's disappointed about this. Shall I go to Eileen and tell her to let Robert play instead?»
«Yes», said Nora at once. «It's only fair, Elizabeth. Good for you! I'm glad you thought of that. There's one thing about you, you do like to be just, and that's a great thing!»
«I'll go and tell Eileen now», said Elizabeth, and off she sped before she could change her mind. It was very disappointing for Elizabeth – but it would be a nice surprise for Robert!
Chapter 19: A Peaceful Week
Eileen was in the gym. She was very good at gym and games of all kinds. She was busy doing some exercises, but she stopped when she saw that Elizabeth wanted to speak to her.
«What do you want, Elizabeth?» she asked.
«Eileen, would it be all right if Robert played in the match on Saturday instead of me?» asked Elizabeth. «You see, I've discovered that he didn't do the things I accused him of at the last Meeting – so I think it would be only fair if I let him have the chance of playing this time.»
«Right!» said Eileen, taking out a notebook and writing something down in it. «I'll see to that. As you say – it's only fair, Elizabeth, I'm sorry you can't play – but you've done the right thing!»
Elizabeth couldn't find Robert to tell him, and before she could do so, Eileen had taken down the first notice from the board and put up another.
“Robert Jones will play in the match against Uphill School on Saturday” said the second
notice. Robert saw it as he came in to dinner. He stared at it in amazement. Surely Elizabeth had said she was playing! He stood frowning at the board, and Kenneth came up.
«Hallo!» said Kenneth, reading the notice. «I wonder why that's altered. It said that Elizabeth was playing in the match, when I read it before breakfast!»
«Yes – that's what I thought», said Robert, puzzled.
«Why has it been altered? But I say – that's marvellous for me! I was jolly disappointed this morning!»
«I bet Elizabeth will be disappointed too», said Kenneth.
They went in to their dinner. Robert did not like to say anything to Elizabeth in front of the others, and she said nothing about the notice either.
It was Nora who told Robert about it. «Did you see that you were playing in the match after all?» she asked.
«Yes – but why?» asked Robert. «What made Eileen change?»
«It was because Elizabeth asked her to let you play instead», said Nora. «Elizabeth thought that would only be fair. And I must say I agreed with her.»
Robert went red. «It's awfully sporting of her, but I can't let her do it», he said. «I know how badly she wants to play.»
He went to find Elizabeth. She was in the school garden, planting bulbs with John.
«Hi, Elizabeth!» called Robert. «You're a sport – but I'd rather you played on Saturday, if you don't mind.»
«I shan't, Robert», said Elizabeth, «I've made up my mind. It's such a good way of trying to make up for the mistake I made. I should be ashamed of myself if I didn't do it.»
«But I don't mind whether you try to make up for your mistake or not», said Robert.
«Yes, but I mind», said Elizabeth. «I shall think better of myself if I do this. Really I shall.»
«All right», said Robert. «Thanks. I only wish you were coming to watch, Elizabeth.»
«I hope you shoot heaps of goals!» said Elizabeth, and went on with her planting. It was hard work. The crocus corns had come, and big patches of grass had to be lifted before the crocuses could be planted underneath. Then there were all the daffodil and tulip bulbs to plant too, though they were much easier to bury in the soil of the beds.