«Yes, I do.», said Elizabeth. «And you've made me get Robert into trouble – and I'll have all that to put right. I wish to goodness you'd never come to Whyteleafe School, Kathleen!»
«I wish it too», said Kathleen in a low voice. «But I shan't be here much longer!» She opened the door and slipped away down the passage She went to the stairs and ran up, tears pouring down her face. She had owned up – and it had been even worse than she had expected! Now she would get her things and go.
Elizabeth stared at Jenny, and the two were just going to talk about Kathleen's confession, when Joan came along. «Hallo!», she said in surprise. «What are you two doing here looking so fierce? What's happened?»
Elizabeth poured everything out to Joan. «Now don't you think Kathleen is a mean, deceitful, spiteful girl?» she cried. «I'd never have thought anyone could be so horrid.»
Joan looked thoughtful. She remembered how unhappy and lonely she herself had been once in the summer term, when everything had gone wrong. She could guess how Kathleen felt. And how very miserable she must be to think of running away!
«Look here», said Joan, «don't think of how mean and spiteful Kathleen's been. Think instead of how it must feel to be plain and jealous and dull, as Kathleen is, and to be unhappy and ashamed as well! Elizabeth, you were helped last term, and I was helped too. I'm going to help Kathleen! She hasn't been mean to me, so I don't feel angry about things as you do. I just feel sorry.»
She ran out of the room. Jenny looked at Elizabeth.
They both knew at once that Joan was right. They had been thinking of themselves, and not of a miserable girl who needed comfort and help.
«We'd better go along too», said Jenny.
«Wait till Joan's had time to say a few words», said Elizabeth. «She's awfully good at that sort of thing, you know. I sometimes think she's almost wise enough to be a monitor!»
«Well, we certainly are not», said Jenny. «I can't imagine how this can be put right, Elizabeth. I really can't.»
Meanwhile, Joan ran up the stairs to her dormitory. Kathleen was there, putting on her hat and coat, and packing a few things into a small case.
Joan went straight up to her. «Kathleen! I've heard all about it! You were jolly brave to own up. Wait till Jenny and Elizabeth have had time to get over it, and they'll forgive you and be friends. They are kind and generous really, you know – just give them time.»
«I can't stop at Whyteleafe», said Kathleen, putting on her scarf. «It's not only that I've made enemies. I feel that everybody thinks I'm so awful. Look at your hair, all shiny and nice – mine's like rats' tails! Look at your bright eyes and red cheeks, and then look at me! I'm a sort of Cinderella!»
«Do you remember how Cinderella changed one night!» said Joan, taking Kathleen's hand. «She sat in the cinders and moped, and maybe she looked just as plain and miserable as you do. But it wasn't just beautiful clothes and a coach that made her so different all of a sudden! Don't you think she smiled and looked happy, don't you think she brushed her hair till it shone? What a silly girl you are, Kathleen! Do you know that you look sweet when you smile?»
«I don't», said Kathleen obstinately.
«Well, you do», said Joan. «Your eyes light up then, your mouth turns up, and you get a dimple in your left cheek. If you smiled a lot more, you wouldn't be plain long. Nobody's ugly when they smile. Haven't you noticed that, Kathleen?»
«Perhaps you are right about that», said Kathleen, remembering how sweet her mother always looked when she smiled and was happy. «But I never feel very much like smiling.»
Footsteps came up the passage and Elizabeth and Jenny came into the room. They went up to Kathleen. «We weren't very nice to you just now», said Jenny. «We're sorry. Don't run away, Kathleen. We'll forgive you and forget all you did to us.»
«But Robert would have to be cleared from blame», said Kathleen, «and that means everything going before the School Meeting. I'm sorry – but I'm not brave enough for that!»
The girls looked at one another. Yes – of course the matter would have to be discussed there!
«So I'm going!» said Kathleen. «I'm a coward, I know. But I can't help that. Where's my case? Good-bye, all of you – don't think too unkindly of me, please!»
Chapter 16: Kathleen Runs Away
Kathleen picked up her case and went out of the room.
Joan ran after her and took hold of her arm. «Kathleen! Don't be an idiot! You just can't run away from school! It's impossible!»
«It's not impossible», said Kathleen. «I'm doing it! Don't try to stop me, Joan. I'm going to walk down to the station to get the train.» She shook off Joan's hand and ran down the passage. It wasn't a bit of good going after her. She had made up her mind, and nothing would stop her. The three girls stared after her.
«I feel simply awful about this», said Jenny suddenly, in a trembling voice. «I wish I hadn't imitated Mam'zelle and Kathleen that evening. That's what began all the trouble.»
«What are we going to do?» said Joan in a troubled voice. «We'll have to report that Kathleen has run away. But I can't help feeling that it's no good trying to stop her in any way, because honestly I wouldn't want to face the School Meeting as she would have to do when everything comes out. She'd probably run away after that, if she didn't now! She's not a brave person at all.»
Just then Nora came by. She was surprised to see the three girls standing at the door of their dormitory, looking so worried. «What are you here for?» she asked. «Didn't you know that the concert is beginning in a minute? You'd better hurry. Why are you all looking so solemn? Has anything happened?»
«Well, yes», said Elizabeth. «An awful lot has happened. We don't know what to do about it. It's dreadful, Nora.»
«Good gracious! You'd better tell me about it then, as I'm your monitor», said Nora.
«I think we'd like to», said Jenny. «Don't let's go to the concert, Nora, Let's go to the common-room. It will be empty now and we can tell you what's happened.»
Once a week a concert was given by those children who learnt the piano, the violin, singing or reciting, and usually most of the forms attended, for it was fun to hear their own forms playing or singing. So the common-room was empty when the four girls walked into it.
Jenny told the tale. She told it from the very beginning, and although she went red when she related how she had imitated Mam'zelle and Kathleen, she did not miss out anything. She was a truthful, honest girl, willing to take her fair share of any blame. Nora listened gravely.
«Poor old Kathleen!», she said. «She has made a mess of things. Well, we've got to do something about it, but I daren't say what. We must find Rita and get her to come to Miss Belle and Miss Best with us.»
«Oh, goodnessl Will they have to know?» asked Elizabeth in dismay.
«Of course, idiot! You don't suppose a girl can run away from Whyteleafe without the Heads knowing, do you!» said Nora. «Come on – there's no time to be lost.»
They found Rita in her study. «Rita! Could you come with us to bliss Belle and Miss Best?» asked Nora. «A girl in Elizabeth's form has run away, and we think we ought to tell the whole story to the Heads.»
«Of course!» said Rita, looking startled. «We'd better take William along too. It's a thing he probably ought to know about, and it will save time if he comes now.»
So in a few minutes six people were outside the drawing room where the two Head-mistresses were sitting writing letters. Rita knocked.
«Come in», said a quiet voice, and in they all went. Mr. Johns was there too, and the three Heads looked surprised to see such a crowd of children appearing.
«Is anything the matter?» asked Miss Belle at once.
«There is, rather», said Rita. «Elizabeth, tell the story quickly.» So Elizabeth told it all, and when she came to where Kathleen had packed a small case and gone down to the station, Mr. Johns jumped up at once.
«I must go after her», he said. «I hope I shan't be too late.»<
br />
«But the train will have gone!» said Nora.
«They have been altered this month», said Mr. Johns. «The one Kathleen went to catch doesn't run now – it's an hour later. If I go quickly, I can just get the child. Come with me, Rita.»
The two of them went out of the room, and in a moment or two the front door banged. They were gone. Elizabeth hoped and hoped that they would be able to catch poor Kathleen before she went home. Now that the Heads knew everything she felt happier. Grown-ups always seemed to be able to put things right!
«Two things need to be put right, as far as I can see», said Miss Best. «The first thing is to put Kathleen right with herself, and make her see that running away never solves any difficulty at all, but only makes things worse. She thinks herself a failure, poor child, but no one need ever be that. If we can get that idea out of her head, things won't seem so bad to her.»
«And I know whit the second thing is», said Elizabeth in a low voice. «It's to clear Robert of blame. I do hate to think I accused him unjustly – and he really has been decent about it. I feel terribly ashamed.»
«I am glad you feel ashamed, Elizabeth», said Miss Best. «We all know that you are just and honest by nature, but you will never do anything worth-while if you rush at things impatiently and lose your temper.»
«No, I know I'm doing my best to learn that», said Elizabeth. «But you've no idea how difficult it is, Miss Best.»
«Oh yes, I have!» said Miss Best. «I once had a hot temper too!» She smiled her lovely smile, and the four children thought what a nice person she was. None of them could really believe that she had ever had a bad temper.
«Now what are we going to do with Kathleen if Mr. Johns is able to bring her back!» said Miss Belle. «I almost think that William and Rita would be the best people to deal with her. She would not be so much in awe of them as she would be of me or of Miss Best or Mr. Johns»
«She said she couldn't possibly face the School Meeting when they knew of her mean tricks», said Elizabeth. «She isn't very brave – though sometimes she argues in class in a way I simply wouldn't dare to do.»
«That isn't bravery», said miss Belle. «It's a thing that weak, obstinate people often do – they are always so afraid of being thought poor things that they like to draw attention to themselves in some way – by arguing or quarrelling or boasting – anything that will make people listen to them and take notice of them! You will never find strong, wise people quarrelling or boasting on trying to get attention – only the weak ones. It's a sign of weakness of some sort – and in Kathleen's case it meant that she thought herself a failure and was trying to hide it from herself and from the rest of you. Now she can't hide it any more and she has run away – just what you would expect a weak person to do.»
«Things seem sort of different when they are properly explained, don't they!» said Jenny. «I'd never have mimicked Kathleen as I did if I'd known why she was behaving like that. Now I feel so sorry for her that I'd do anything to get things put right.»
«She's ashamed of her spots, even», said Elizabeth. «She's only got them because she eats so many sweets! She eats more than the whole form put together!»
«She looks nice when she smiles», said Joan. «I told her so.»
«Good!» said Miss Best. «It seems to me that if only Kathleen would make herself neater and prettier, and get rid of her spots, poor child, that would be a good beginning. William, do you think you and Rita can manage to get some sense into her head? You have had some difficult problems this term, but I believe you will manage them all right!»
«And what about making her face the School Meeting?» asked William.
«You and Rita must decide that», said Miss Belle. «We leave that in your hands. If you think it best not to force her to be brave before she is ready, then you must just clear Robert of blame, and wait until Kathleen is brave enough to own up later on in the term. I am quite sure that if we handle her gently she will do the right thing in the future.»
It was surprising how much better everyone felt already, now than the matter had been plainly discussed and looked into. Kathleen's bad behaviour had grown from a very simple thing – the feeling that she was a failure. If that feeling could be put right, most of Kathleen's troubles would go. And that would be pleasant for everyone! There came the sound of wheels in the school drive, then the sound of a car door banging. Surely it must be a taxi! Everybody waited anxiously to see if Mr. Johns and Rita had been able to bring back Kathleen – and everyone hoped they had.
Footsteps came down the passage to the drawing-room, and the door opened. Only Mr. Johns stood there! No Rita, no Kathleen!
«Didn't you find them?» asked Miss Best anxiously.
«Oh yes!» said Mr. Johns. «She was in the waiting room, poor child, cold and miserable, wishing that she hadn't run away after all! When Rita went in and took her hand, she burst into tears, and came back with us quite willingly. Thank goodness the trains had been delayed, and she had had time to think a little, if the train had come in as soon as she had arrived on the platform, she would certainly have gone.»
«Where is she?» asked William.
«Rita has taken her to her study», said Mr. Johns. «You go too, William. I think you'll be able to help her – let her talk all she likes, and get everything off her chest.»
William went. The other four children got up to go too.
«I'm going to find Robert now», said Elizabeth. «That's something I must put right – but I'm not going to enjoy it one bit!»
Chapter 17: Clearing Up a Few Troubles
Elizabeth was angry with herself as she went to find Robert. “I've done a really awful thing” she thought. “I've accused somebody in public of doing a whole lot of mean things and he didn't do one of them. I got him punished – just at a time when he began to try and turn over a new leaf too! Everybody has helped him – and I was the only one who must have made him feel angry and unhappy. I do feel disgusted with myself.” She couldn't find Robert anywhere. Then she met Leonard and he told her that the boy was out in the stables.
«Bess was limping a bit today», said Leonard, «and Robert is out there attending to her with the stable-man. I saw him just now when I came in from the cow-shed. You know, Elizabeth, Fanny and I see him every morning, and we think he's jolly nice. He's doing all he can to make up to the youngsters for ill-treating them – I can't help admiring him.»
«I admire him too», said Elizabeth. «But he won't admire me when he hears what I've got to tell him!»
«Why, what's that?» asked Leonard. But Elizabeth wouldn't tell him.
It was dark outside. Elizabeth got her coat and put it on. She slipped out into the garden and went across to the stables. She heard Robert talking to the stable-man, and she put her head round the door.
«Robert», she said, «can I speak to you?»
«Who is it!» said Robert in surprise. «Oh, you, Elizabeth. What do you want?» He came over to her, smelling of horses. It was a nice smell. His hair was untidy and his face was flushed, for he had been rubbing the horse's leg with oil, and it was hard work.
«Robert», said Elizabeth, «I made a dreadful mistake about you. It was somebody else who played those tricks, not you.»
«Well, I told you that», said Robert. «That isn't any surprise to me.»
«Yes – but, Robert, I told the whole School you'd done them», said Elizabeth, her voice beginning to tremble, «and I got you punished. I can't tell you how sorry I am. You've been mean to me, often, and I haven't liked you, but I've been much meaner to you. And I do think you're a brick, the way you came to watch the match and told me it was bad luck it rained. I-I-I think you've been big, and I've been very small.»
«Well, I think you have, rather», said Robert, taking her hand. «But I haven't been very big, Elizabeth – it was only that I was so happy to think I've been able to change myself, and to have the horses I love, and I really felt I hardly cared about the match – so you see it wasn't very di
fficult to come and watch, and tell you it was bad luck it rained. But I'm glad you've found out it wasn't my fault that those tricks were played. Who did them?»
«I can't tell you just at present», said Elizabeth. «But, as soon as I knew, I came to find you to tell you I was dreadfully sorry for what I'd said about you. I'd like you to forgive me.»
«You needn't worry about that», said Robert, with a laugh. «People have had to forgive me a lot more than I shall ever have to forgive you. Don't let's be silly any more. It's fun being enemies at first, but it soon gets horrid. Let's be friends. Come and ride Captain tomorrow morning before breakfast. I'll ride Bess if her leg is better. And do cheer up – you look all funny!»
«I feel all funny», said Elizabeth, swallowing a lump in her throat. «I didn't think you'd be so awfully decent to me. I do get wrong ideas about people. Yes, Robert – I'd like to be friends. I'll be up early tomorrow morning.»
Robert smiled at her and went back to Bess. Elizabeth slipped away into the darkness. She stood in the cold wind and thought for a minute or two before she went in. How surprising people were! You thought some of them were so horrid, and believed all kinds of things about them – and then they turned out quite different and you wanted to be friends. «Well, next time I'll give people a chance before I believe beastly things about them», said Elizabeth to herself. «I really must think twice, three times, four times before I lose my temper or accuse people of anything. It's so funny – I just hated Robert, and now I simply can't help liking him awfully – and yet he's the same person.»
But Robert wasn't quite the same person. He was different! He thought about Elizabeth too. It was brave of her to come and own up like that. She was a dreadful little spitfire, but he couldn't help liking her. It would be fun to ride with her and go galloping wildly over the hills in the early morning!
And meanwhile, what about Kathleen? Things had not been going too badly for her, for William and Rita had been wise and gentle, though quite firm and resolute. They had let the girl tell them every single thing.