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I collapsed to the floor like I'd been hit. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't focus. So many thoughts were whirling in my mind, it was like grasping at smoke.
Am I a dead-brain?
My heart thundered as I panicked.
No, I couldn't be. I knew who I was. I knew who Becky was.
I covered my face with my hands, willing myself to be dead. I just wanted to be gone. I lay like that for a long time until I heard Becky moving around again. I spread my fingers so I could watch what she was doing through my hands.
She was shuffling between the tables, setting plates on one, then taking those same plates and setting them on a different table. I rolled over on my side and sobbed. She was gone, and I would be gone soon, too.
I decided I would lie there and wait. Again my thoughts turned to Seth and I wondered if this is how it all happened with him. The fever. The sickness. The horrible nightmares assaulting him right until the end.
Was there a beyond? Was Becky already there now, or did her body have to die first?
I thought about trying to end Becky's sad un-life again. I forced myself to sit up and watched her for several minutes. She ignored me.
Reaching for one of the many bottles of water that I had left sitting out, I guzzling the whole thing down, surprising myself. I grabbed a second and drank over half of that one before I was satiated.
Again, I had to rest for a few moments, waiting for my energy to return. Then I pulled myself back onto the pallets, my eyes never leaving Becky for long. I hoped I would have the energy to kill her before I turned into a dead-brain, too.
As I lay there, I began to wonder why she didn't attack me. Maybe she was different? Maybe there was something still inside her that remembered me? Maybe she could sense that I was turning and knew to leave me alone?
I once again thought about Ali and Seth, the dream I had of their wedding dredged up memories. Seth wasn't much older than Ali, maybe a few months at most. They absolutely hated each other when they first met, but that had changed by the end.
I remembered the first time I saw her. I was hiding in the dusty ceiling of a grocery store, knowing I was about to be killed. The visions of all the furious red eyes under me, reaching up to grab me, still haunted me from time to time. At least they couldn’t climb, but I was going to fall. The thin framing wasn't made to hold my weight.
Seth had been my only hope, but he needed to come back for me soon. He had sent me up to the ceiling and ran off with what looked to be about ten dead-brains chasing him. He was trying to draw them away from me, but not all of them followed. I'd been up there alone for what seemed like forever when I heard a girl's voice calling out, asking if I was okay.
I could see her at the end of the aisle. I told her to run.
But she didn't run. She pulled out a huge revolver and started shooting. Blew six of those dead-brains away without even pausing, and stabbed the other three in the neck, dropping them all.
She looked at me, her bright green eyes glowing with life. She could have been a super hero. She was vibrant and so alive. It didn’t make sense to say, but she was the most alive person I had ever seen, before the world turned and after. It made her beautiful, and she was in control of this chaotic world.
Then Seth wrecked her truck and she was stuck with us. It made me so happy to have her with us. It had only been Seth and I since we left Lawton trying to find Dad. Ali and Seth didn't get along at first. They were so stubborn, but I was glad to have someone else around to talk to besides Seth.
It took a while for me to get Ali to talk, but eventually I wore her down. She was quiet, and all kinds of pissed off about her truck, but Seth was really sorry for that. He didn't know it was hers when he took it. He was just trying to save me.
I guess we only got to spend a few months with all of us together. Ali was awesome. She taught me how to shoot better than Seth could. I don't think he much cared for being beat at that, but Ali was really athletic and knew a lot about guns. She even knew stuff that Seth didn't know.
I don't know what happened that night Seth got bitten. Ali went in to get some supplies and told us to stay behind. When she was gone too long, Seth went in to find her. Ali was the only one to come back. As soon as I saw her face, I knew Seth was gone, but I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't imagine losing him. She held me back from running in to find him, and we both cried. She had to drag me away because I wasn't going to leave him on my own. He couldn't be gone. I couldn't let him be gone.
Before the dead-brains came, he was the one that was always there for me. Because Mom and Dad were so busy working all the time, it was Seth that made the most time for me. He was the one that helped me with my homework and played video games with me. Every now and then when his friends came over, he'd let me watch movies with them if I behaved. I always looked up to him so much. He was the perfect big brother.
Knowing that he wasn't there anymore hurt more than losing Dad did. Ali was crushed too. I always thought they might want to get married someday, if there could still be weddings in this world. It was horrible. I was so sad, and Ali got really quiet after that. She hardly talked at all. I caught her crying a lot at first, even though she tried to hide it from me. She never told me if she let Seth turn, or if he died from his wounds.
I lay still while my thoughts ran all over the place, waiting for the inevitable. I didn't understand why it was taking so long for me to turn, but then I wasn't sure how long Becky had been gone before I woke.
What was this going to feel like?
With the fever gone, and the awful vomiting stopped, it almost felt like I was getting better. I’d lost the will to move, though. It was easier to lie here and let the minutes pass by while I listened to Becky shuffle the table settings around.
I picked at the bandages on my hands, finally pulling them away to expose the blisters underneath. I was mildly surprised to see how well they had healed, and thought ruefully that I could have been able to work in the gardens today. It even made me sad knowing that I would never work in those gardens again.
For hours I waited as the rest of the day passed by. My thoughts continued to wander randomly, and I cherished the memories while I still could. The light was starting to dim in the building signifying early evening, and somehow, I was still me.
I decided to test my muscles to see if I could stand. Maybe I had made it through? Maybe not everyone turned when they were bitten? That thought made me angry. Why would I be the one to live when I had no one, and Becky had her whole family that needed her there?
As I stood, I felt the strength flow back into my limbs. I was weak but thought I would be able to walk now. My clothes were wet, and the smell of vomit was everywhere. It was probably on my shirt. I needed to find some fresh clothes to change into, but I didn't think I would find anything here in the restaurant.
Becky was ignoring me, still moving from table to table, setting and resetting the dishes. I tried walking on my wobbly legs to see how far I could make it and surprised myself by being much more surefooted than I thought possible. A few years ago, I had come down with a pretty bad stomach virus and didn't remember recovering this fast.
I wanted to see what I could find in the adjacent gas station before it got dark and stumbled out the front door, barely catching myself against a rusted pole that held up the awning. It groaned at my additional weight but held. I thought I'd better slow it down.
Stay vigilant. Move slowly. Ali taught me that. Always be aware of my surroundings and never assume a place was too small for a dead-brain to hide in. The dead-brains out in the field were too far away to notice me, but in the dying light they were also hard to spot. I was second-guessing my decision to take a trip to the gas station, afraid I might get ambushed, but decided it was now or never.
I took one slow step after the other to the neighboring building, keeping my energy in check. Once there, I made sure to look through all the windows for any signs of movement before I decid
ed it was safe. I gave the door a tug.
A bell hanging above the door announced my entrance, and I winced. If there were any dead-brains in here, they knew I was in here now. I stood there, waiting, but nothing came. Maybe I had caught a little bit of luck.
Judging by the disarray of the store, it looked like someone had been through here before, but not everything was taken. My first thought was to check behind the counter for a weapon. I figured if there was anything here, that would most likely be where it was stashed.
I was rewarded when I found a wicked looking axe behind the counter. The curved blade was painted red and the metal head was fitted into a solid wooden handle that tapered into a point at the bottom, making both ends dangerous. It was a vicious looking thing but much too heavy for me to try to do anything with while I was so weak.
I opted for the lighter-weight aluminum baseball bat, which I was also able to use as a cane.
The next thing on my list was finding a change of clothes. There were some Texas Longhorn t-shirts hanging in the front window, so I grabbed one. They didn't have my size, and the one I grabbed hung on me like a sheet, but I was thankful I could get out of the rotten smelling shirt.
As I dropped the disgusting garment on the ground, a flash from outside the window caught my eye.
Headlights.
I froze. It had to be Jeremy coming back. Why? He knew what was going to happen, did he come back to kill Becky? Kill us both?
I ducked down to hide myself, suddenly worried and scared. What if he did come back and killed me without even talking to me first? I didn't think I was going to turn now and, although the thought of living in this world wasn't the greatest option, I really did not want Jeremy to kill me.
As the headlights drew closer, I realized it wasn't Jacob's truck. Who the heck could it be? I had never seen this vehicle before, and I wasn't about to take any chances, so I kept myself hidden.
I watched the black truck roll to a stop in the middle of the street, and then the driver stepped out into view.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw her unmistakable red hair.
Chapter 5 - Ali