Sometimes God will put it on our hearts to give people things they do not even really need. They may even have more than we do, but they may need encouragement. They need to know that someone is thinking about them, that someone cares. If you give somebody something—I don’t care if they don’t even want it—it will bless them. Even if they cannot use it, the fact that we give to them will bless them and us, too.
Sometimes we give somebody something that meets a specific need and sometimes we give them a seed. The Bible says that God gives seed to the sower and bread to the eater (see 2 Corinthians 9:10). People send me many things that I will not use personally, but I can use them for seed, so I give them to someone else. When someone gives us something we cannot use, we should still receive it as a gift, but then use it as a seed with which to bless someone else. I frequently give things to people and say, “If you can’t use this or don’t like it, use it as seed to be a blessing to someone else.” Even if they do pass along the gift, they are still blessed because I thought of them.
Sometimes we give somebody something that meets a specific need and sometimes we give them a seed.
We need to decide to be a blessing in every situation, and to everyone we meet. Being a blessing may be as simple as smiling at a clerk in a checkout line or it may require doing something that is inconvenient or something we would really rather not do for someone. It may cost time or money, but whatever it takes, we need to understand that walking in love is critical to our relationship with God and essential to an effective prayer life, so we need to seek ways to bless others everywhere we go.
LOVE LOOKS TO GIVE
The Bible gives us the greatest example of the type of sacrificial giving that says, “I’m giving the very best I have.” God the Father, out of His love for us, gave His only begotten Son. But when we are faced with an opportunity to give away something, we can be easily tempted to say, “I can’t give that! It’s the only one I have and I might need it someday.” The reality is that many of us keep things we have not used for years. When we do need those things, we usually cannot find them or we realize they do not work anymore or they are so covered with dust that we do not recognize them! Instead of hoarding things, we should use them and then, when we believe we are finished or may not need them again for a few years, go ahead and give them to people who need them now. Then if we do need them later on, God will see that we have them. God’s Word teaches that we should use our excess to meet the needs of others, and then when we have a need, their excess will help meet our needs. Remember, we reap only what we have sown. Each time we give to someone in need or simply to bless them, we are assuring ourselves that our needs will be met later on.
I have an elderly mother and an elderly aunt. God has clearly shown me that it is my duty to take care of them in a manner that depicts the way I would want to be cared for in my old age. I may never need any care, but if I do, I have already sown seed for my harvest.
I challenge you to prune (cut back or trim away) your possessions. Walk around your house; gather the things you have not used in a year or two and put them in a box to give away. You might think, I worked hard for that stuff. I may need that someday. Do you know what happens when you prune a bush? It grows! If you start pruning your possessions on a regular basis, you will have more than you’ll know what to do with and then you will find out you need bigger boxes all the time to carry off all the stuff you are not using. That principle works in my life all the time. When I bring in things, I prune everything else I already have; then I get more stuff and have to prune that. Then people give me more things and then I prune again. That’s a cycle of blessing. I am blessed; then I bless others; then I am blessed again; so I bless others some more, and on it goes.
I have had the joy of pruning and giving away many of my clothes. I need a lot of clothes and the way to get them is to give away some of what I have on a regular basis. What a joy it has been for me to give away some of these perfectly good clothes to women who just need a blessing. There are days when I can walk around my office and see perhaps twelve ladies wearing clothes that I used to have. The clothes are a blessing to them, and that blesses me because I was able to participate in blessing them.
We need to stop this nonsense of clinging to our possessions. Instead, we need to express our love by having open hands that refuse to hoard, but are always eager to give to others. Love looks for places to give. Love is aggressive in giving. Love thinks about how it can bless somebody. Love does something nice on purpose.
If I were a carpenter, I would have equipment to help me do carpentry work. If I were a doctor, I would have equipment to help me practice medicine. Similarly, I have learned that if I am going to be a lover of people, I also need equipment, which often comes in the form of material goods that can bless others. If at all possible, I need to be prepared before people’s needs come to my attention. Let me suggest that you think about keeping some money with you, money set aside just to give to people who need a blessing. Keep gift certificates to restaurants, grocery stores, or shopping centers handy. When you go to church, work, or family gatherings, take your blessing box with you in your car just in case you need some seed to sow into someone’s life.
What I am talking about is radical, outrageous, aggressive, on-purpose giving. Instead of buying groceries, clothes, books, or movie tickets for ourselves all the time, we might buy some of these items for other people, too. Most of us do not need to look very far before we see someone who needs something, and we just need to bless one another. Galatians 6:10 instructs us to “. . .be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith [those who belong to God’s family with you, the believers].” Also, we need to ask God to show us when we may need to give to strangers or unbelievers so that we can share His love with them. No matter who the recipient is, love gives. It cannot stand not to!
LOVE DOES NOT PLAY FAVORITES
I believe love requires us to treat all people basically the same and to have an attitude that honors everyone equally. That does not mean having a best friend or a group of best friends is wrong, but I do believe it is wrong to consider some people to be in a “lower” category than others. We should be very careful not to make people feel left out or rejected.
I believe love requires us to treat all people basically the same and to have an attitude that honors everyone equally.
Jesus obviously did some things with Peter, James, and John that He did not do with the other disciples, but I do not think that was because He loved those three more than the rest. I think He simply saw in them something that He could work with, something beyond what He saw in the others. I believe He spent more time developing and pouring Himself into Peter, James, and John because He recognized in them such a great capacity to receive His ministry, perhaps a greater capacity than the others. Even though Jesus spent so much time with Peter, James, and John, and even though He invested so much of Himself in them, I do not think He ever mistreated anyone or treated one person better than another.
Scripture is very clear that God has no favorites. Acts 10:34 says, “God shows no partiality and is no respecter of persons.” The Bible also says, “God is not impressed with the positions that men hold and He is not partial and recognizes no external distinctions” (Galatians 2:6). And in James 2:1, the Bible provides excellent teaching on how to regard others: “My brethren, pay no servile regard to people [show no prejudice, no partiality]. Do not [attempt to] hold [and] practice the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ [the Lord] of glory [together with snobbery]!”
We know that a snob is someone who thinks he or she is better than other people. People who are snobs may consider themselves “above” others because they have more money than most, more education than some, or a professional position that commands more worldly respect than other stations in life. Such people may decide not to associate with others who do not have similar or equal status. Snobs do not want to be acquainted or associated with people they deem somehow “bene
ath” them for some reason. That kind of attitude is called “pride”; it is sin, and it will keep a person from walking in love. It will also hinder answered prayer. The Bible says in Psalm 10:17 that God hears the desires of the humble and in James 4:6 that He gives grace to the humble, but He resists the proud and haughty.
We need to value the things that make us different from one another and to realize that everybody does not have to be just like we are in order for us to be friends with them. As a matter of fact, one of the healthiest things we can do in life is to have a wide variety of friends so we begin to understand that the whole world is not like our neighborhood, our church, our workplace, or any other environment in which we live.
I encourage you to do everything you can to walk in love deliberately. You can do that by refusing to play favorites, by not giving in to the temptation of pride, and by positioning your heart to love and honor all people equally, treating them as God’s unique and special creations and valuing them for the people He has made them to be.
LIVE THE GOLDEN RULE
Another biblical principle that will help us walk in love and reap great results when we obey it is found in Matthew. Matthew 7:7–11 says: “Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened. Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent? If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!”
Matthew 7:12 says: “So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, even so do also to and for them, for this is (sums up) the Law and the Prophets” (emphasis mine). I think sometimes we approach Matthew 7:7–11 as one subject and Matthew 7:12, which is known as “the golden rule,” as an independent thought. We may think Matthew is suddenly going in a different direction, but he is basically saying: If you ask and keep on asking, it will be given to you, but now here comes a condition: so then, if this is what you want to see happen—however you want other people to treat you, treat them that way first. This tells us that loving others is a condition of answered prayer! Remember, our faith won’t work without love.
The institution of marriage in the United States is in great danger and I think the reason is really quite simple. I believe that, many times, strife begins when neither party will be humble enough and mature enough to be the first one to apologize or the first one to give in. We usually treat people they way they treat us, but according to the Bible, we should be treating them the way we desire to be treated.
No one wants to be the first one to say, “I’m sorry.” They think, Well, if you’re not going to be good to me, I’m not going to be good to you. If you’re not going to show me respect, I’m not going to show you respect. If you don’t ever do anything for me, I’m not going to do anything for you. When one person waits for the other to make amends—and the other one does not—offenses accumulate, anger builds, harsh words are spoken, and relationships become deeply troubled.
If a husband and wife were walking in love by obeying the golden rule, both of them will think, I wish my spouse would bring me more gifts and he doesn’t, so I’m going to start buying him gifts. I wish my spouse would just give me more compliments and pay a little more attention to me, but he doesn’t, so I’m just going to start complimenting him all the time and showing him all kinds of affection.
These same principles apply to other relationships besides marriage. There is always a possibility for strife in other family relationships, at work, among parents on the Little League team (and among the Little Leaguers themselves!), on church committees, and everyplace where people are trying to accomplish something together. Treating others as we would like to be treated in every situation will reduce strife and lead to strong, fruitful relationships in which people do what God has called them to do and enjoy Him together.
Treating others as we would like to be treated in every situation will reduce strife and lead to strong, fruitful relationships.
Live by the golden rule: whatever you want other people to do for you, do for them. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want gifts, give something away. If you want people to encourage you, find people and encourage them. If you want people to pray for you, pray for others. You may think encouragement, prayer, friendliness, and gift giving are little things, but it’s the little things people don’t do that destroy relationships. At the same time, it’s the little things that also build up relationships. So whether it’s a big thing or a little thing, treat people the way you want to be treated. That’s a never-fail way to walk in love.
I am sure we all believe that God the Father heard and answered Jesus’ prayers, but let us also remember that Jesus walked in love, literally, at all times. Even on the cross, while suffering intense pain, He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” He kept on giving right up to the ultimate sacrifice, which was His life.
SUMMARY
One sure way to make certain that our prayers are effective is to walk in love. Truly loving other people encompasses so many heart attitudes that are pleasing to God. Above everything else, God honors the heart that truly loves Him and loves other people. In fact, our faith in Him works through love and we express our love for Him by loving other people. Love is God’s nature, and the more we demonstrate love to others, the more we become like Him. As we walk in His ways and imitate Him by loving others, our relationship with Him deepens and is strengthened and our prayer lives are enriched.
Prayer Points
• We are to love God above everything else and then to have fervent love for others.
• Faith works through love.
• First Corinthians 13 describes love.
• Love does not require anyone to be abused or to be treated as a doormat or to take responsibility for people who will not take responsibility for themselves as best they can.
• Without the love of God flowing in our lives, our ability to effectively help others is hindered.
• Love does not hoard or cling to things. One of the best ways to express love is to be a blessing to others.
• Love does not play favorites or act snobbishly, but values everyone.
• When we walk in love, we will treat others as we like to be treated.
• People who walk in love never quit; they love until they draw their last breath.
12
Fourteen Hindrances
to Answered Prayer
Now that you have learned some of the keys to effective prayer, I want us to look at some hindrances to answered prayer. We need to know not only what to do, but also what not to do when we pray. If we are going to invest our time and energy in prayer, we want to do everything within our power to get good results!
Naturally, some of the hindrances to answered prayer will be the opposite of keys to effective prayer (for example, forgiveness is a key to effective prayer, and unforgiveness is a hindrance to prayer). I want to include some of those “opposites” in this chapter anyway because we need to understand not only how the positive elements of an issue increase effectiveness in prayer, but also how its negative aspects cause problems in our prayer lives.
1. PRAYERLESSNESS
I know this sounds simple, but our prayers are not answered when we do not pray. Several times in this book, I have referenced James 4:2, which says, “You do not have, because you do not ask.” That sounds simple, I know, but it is true. We have to ask for what we want and need. Sometimes we work on situations in our minds, or talk about them with our friends, or wish or hope, but we do not pray. Thinking, wishing, hoping, and talking with others are not prayer; only prayer is prayer. When we have a need or
a situation that concerns us, we are only praying when we talk to God about it.
Did you know that God is waiting for us to make requests of Him in prayer? Matthew 7:7 and Isaiah 65:1–2 tell us that He is ready to act for us if we will only pray.
I once had an employee who often complained about how much work he had to do. I don’t think he even realized he was complaining, but he was irritating me. I fussed and fumed over it in my heart; I got aggravated; I thought negative thoughts. I actually began to complain about my employee who was complaining! Then one day I realized I had never actually prayed about his negative attitude, so I simply asked God to cause him to stop complaining about his workload and to be thankful and positive.
The very next day when I saw the man, he made the first positive comment I had heard in a long time about his job. He mentioned that he had some time to rest and things were getting better. Wow! God was ready to help us, but His hands were tied until someone prayed. My prayerlessness was just as wrong as my employee’s complaining. I was hindering God by being too passive to open a door for Him to work. I thought about the problem, resented the problem, talked about the problem, and got aggravated about the problem, but literally months went by before I prayed. As soon as I did, God intervened.
Don’t let prayerlessness hinder God from working in your life and the lives of your loved ones.