Learn from my mistake and don’t let prayerlessness hinder God from working in your life and the lives of your loved ones.
2. LACK OF BOLDNESS
Not only do we need to pray in order to have our prayers answered, we also need to pray boldly, which means without fear and unreservedly. Jesus has made a way for us to approach God with boldness because He made us righteous through His death on the cross. Because of what He has done for us, we can go to God with total confidence and pray unashamedly, knowing that He loves us, hears us, and will answer our prayers in the best possible way.
When we understand that we can rightfully approach God with boldness, we will be able to overcome the enemy’s attempts to make us feel condemned and we will become daring in our prayers. We will no longer buy into the enemy’s lie that causes us to say to ourselves, Well, I know God can do great things, but I find it hard to believe He will do them for me. We think such thoughts because we do not think we are worthy, but we must always remember that Jesus has made us worthy, and when we approach God boldly, we can count on Him to be merciful to us (see Hebrews 4:16). Mercy means that God will give us what we do not deserve and bless us when we do not deserve to be blessed—if we are bold enough to ask. We ask in Jesus’ name, not in our own name. That means we are presenting to the Father all that Jesus is, not all that we are. We are nothing without Jesus!
Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is able to do more than we could ever dare to hope, ask or think, so we need to determine to be daring and to avail ourselves of all He can do by asking boldly!
When people ask me to do something for them, I respond better if they approach me with confidence. I want them to be respectful and thankful, but not fearful. Confidence breeds confidence. In other words, when people approach me with confidence, their confidence gives me confidence that they can handle what they are asking for. However, if they come in fear, I am hesitant to partner with them in anything, because where fear exists, the devil has an open door to bring defeat.
Don’t ask God for less than you would like to. Be bold and be confident. Ask Him for great things and open the door for Him to show just how great He really is.
3. SIN
Psalm 66:18 says, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” In other words, sin that we are aware of and refuse to deal with is a hindrance to answered prayer. None of us are perfect. We may all have something in our lives that displeases God, but it may be unintentional and we may not even realize it. Once God convicts us of sin and makes us aware of it, we must deal with it. Otherwise, we are regarding iniquity in our hearts, and in that case, God will not hear us.
If we have sin hidden in our hearts, we cannot pray with confidence that God will answer. However, if we ask Him to reveal those hidden sins, He will. When He does, we must respond if we want to keep the lines of communication open with Him. For example, if He brings to mind a situation in which we did not tell the truth, we cannot think, Oh, that’s no big deal. It was just an innocent little white lie. We cannot take something He shows us and sweep it under the rug or decide it does not really matter. Instead, we have to admit that we have sinned, repent for lying, and receive His forgiveness.
More often than not, what we call “little things” end up causing us major trouble because we allow them to grow into sinful habits and patterns. When God reveals sin in our lives, we need to stop what we are doing and repent. We need to revere Him so much that we take Him seriously—immediately! This means we do everything within our power to make sure that our relationship with Him is clean and pure and unobstructed by sin. Otherwise, our prayers will go unheard and unanswered.
4. PRAYING OUTSIDE OF GOD’S WILL
Not praying according to God’s will, of course, keeps our prayers from being answered. One of the best ways to make sure we are praying in the will of God is to pray the Word as much as we can. What I mean by that is we need to use a verse, a passage, or a principle in God’s Word to back up what we are praying.
We will not find Scriptures that address all of our needs or wants in detail. For example, we will not find a verse that tells us specifically to go buy a new car, but we will find Scriptures that tell us God will meet our needs. If a new car is a legitimate need, we can pray and believe that God’s will is to meet that need.
Sometimes there are things we want to pray for, but we are not sure whether those things are God’s will for us, according to scripture. In those cases, we simply need to ask God to give it if it is His will to do so, and to help us be satisfied with His decision.
On the other hand, there are other things we know to be part of God’s will because He does specify them in His Word. For instance, 2 Peter 3:9 says that He is “. . .not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (NKJV). Therefore, we know that we are praying within His will when we pray for people to be saved.
When we pray in agreement with God’s will, we will have what we ask for. We may have to wait, because God’s timing is part of His will, but it will come. We can say, “It’s mine. I may not see it yet, but it belongs to me, so it’s on its way.”
I am sure we all ask for things amiss at times, but God knows our hearts. I believe that if He cannot give us what we ask for, that He will give us something better if we keep a good attitude.
God’s timing is part of His will.
5. PRAYING WITH THE WRONG MOTIVES
You know that James 4:2 says, “You do not have, because you do not ask,” but I want you to also see the verse that follows. It says, “[Or] you do ask [God for them] and yet fail to receive, because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives. Your intention is [when you get what you desire] to spend it in sensual pleasures.” A motive is the “why” behind the “what.” It is why we do what we do. In prayer, the reason we pray is much more important than the words we say. God looks at our hearts, and when He sees an impure motive, He cannot answer prayer.
Having a pure heart that truly loves God and loves people is always an acceptable motive to the Lord. Selfishness is unacceptable; revenge is unacceptable; manipulation and control are unacceptable; jealousy is unacceptable; pride is unacceptable. In fact, everything that is selfish and unloving is an unacceptable motive.
I will admit that there was a time when I prayed and prayed for God to help my ministry grow because I thought having a large, influential ministry would make me feel important. Do you know what happened? The ministry did not grow at all! In fact, it did not even begin to grow until my motives had been purified, the selfishness had been eliminated, and I could truthfully say that I only wanted the ministry to grow so that I could help more people.
Similarly, we may want to get our way in a situation and ask God to change someone’s heart to be in agreement with us without even considering what might be best for the other person. God won’t answer those types of selfish prayers. We might ask God to have someone apologize to us when, in reality, God wants us to apologize. Whatever happened may not have been our fault, but God still wants us to humble ourselves and be the ones to make peace. Why would He do that? Because humility is more valuable to us in the long run than having our feelings soothed because someone apologizes to us.
We need to be asking God to purify our hearts on a regular basis so that we can pray with the right motives. We need to honestly examine our motives. A lot of things changed in my life when I began to ask myself why I was doing what I was doing. Likewise, many of my prayers changed when I became more sensitive to the motive behind them. Taking a look at our motives can be painful, but it must be done if we truly desire to live before God with pure hearts.
6. DOUBT AND UNBELIEF
We know that faith in God is foundational to answered prayer, so it stands to reason that doubt and unbelief—which are opposites of faith—will keep our prayers from being answered. Faith is a powerful spiritual dynamic, and it is something God responds to and blesses. But our faith is not without opposition. Satan will attack our mind
s with doubt, unbelief, and questioning, and when he does, we need to check in with our hearts and see what they say. We can believe something in our hearts even when our minds question it, and we need to go with what is in our hearts and not with what is in our heads. We are not supposed to believe our doubts; we are supposed to doubt our doubts and believe our God.
One of the keys to overcoming doubt and unbelief is found in Hebrews 12:2, which says: “Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith. . .and is also its Finisher.. . .#8221; Many times, doubt and unbelief start with distraction. When we are distracted from God’s promises or God’s ability to come through for us, then we begin to doubt. We start thinking more and more about our problems or our challenges, and then our faith begins to diminish. But we need to do what Hebrews 12:2 says to do and keep looking to Jesus. In order to resist doubt and stay in faith, we need to stare at Him, at His goodness, at His ability to help us, at His love for us, and merely glance at our problems. We do not deny the existence of problems, but we do refuse to pay too much attention to them.
Keeping our eyes off everything that would steal our faith or distract us from what God says is the antidote to doubt and unbelief. We have to remember that He is the Source of our faith and He finishes what He starts—so there’s no reason to doubt.
The Apostle James said that when we doubt, we become double?minded and the double-minded man receives nothing he asks for from God because he is unstable in all of his ways (see James 1:6–8). We need to decide what we believe and not change our minds when our circumstances begin to waver. We need to remember that John 11:40 promises that we will see the glory of God if we will only believe!
7. WORRY
Another reason people do not have their prayers answered is that after they pray, they worry. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not fret or have anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God” (emphasis mine). Anxiety, which is another word for worry, means spending today trying to figure out tomorrow or spending today fearing tomorrow—and we are not to have anxiety about anything.
Anxiety . . . means spending today trying to figure out tomorrow or spending today fearing tomorrow.
When we pray and then worry, we are not exercising trust in God. We are not fully releasing our burdens or needs to Him; we are “taking them back” and working them over in our minds. When we insist upon keeping our hands on the situations we pray about, and not letting God have them completely, He does not have much freedom to answer our prayers. We say we trust God, but we want to have a backup plan just in case God does not come through for us. Worry is meditating on our problems, but we are told to meditate on God’s Word, not our problems.
The opposite of worry and anxiety is peace, and if we are going to live in peace, we need to learn how to live our lives one day at a time. Jesus says in Matthew 6:34, “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.” In other words, Jesus is telling us not to spend today worrying about tomorrow. All of our “todays” have enough trouble—and we only have enough grace and enough energy to deal with today. Just as each day has its own trouble, each day has its own supply of grace. God does not give us grace today to live tomorrow. We need to make the most of the grace we have today, refuse to be anxious about tomorrow, determine to leave our prayers in God’s hands, and not take our problems back by worrying.
8. LACK OF GRATITUDE
A lack of gratitude is a hindrance to answered prayer. As I wrote in chapter 5, why should God do more for us if we are murmuring about what He has already done? By the same token, if we genuinely appreciate His goodness and have hearts that are thankful for all He has done, He will be inclined to continue to bless us.
A lack of gratitude indicates that something is not right in a person’s heart. The reason people grumble and complain is not that they do not have what they want; it is that they have a character problem. People of godly character are thankful, always appreciative of what God does for them. Thanksgiving keeps us focused on God.
On the other hand, a lack of gratitude causes people to never be satisfied and to talk about their discontent. I don’t think anything opens the door for the enemy to influence a person’s life like murmuring and complaining, because we are agreeing with him when we grumble. However, when we speak words of thanksgiving, we are agreeing with God because the Bible is full of Scriptures that instruct us to be thankful and not to complain. A thankful person is a powerful person, and when we are thankful, God is able and willing to do more for us than He has ever done before.
We can “be” thankful even if we don’t particularly “feel” thankful. We can feel wrong and still choose to do what is right. Until we learn this dynamic principle, there is no hope of truly walking in the Spirit.
The Apostle Paul, who knew much suffering during his life, and certainly had reason to complain about some of his circumstances, said this: “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound” (Philippians 4:11–12, NKJV). In other words, we need to stay thankful in every situation, no matter how we feel. True gratitude is not only being thankful when things are going well, but also remaining steadfast when dealing with life’s struggles, obstacles, and disappointments. When God sees that we are thankful no matter what, He can answer our prayers.
9. NEGATIVE CONFESSION
We can render our prayers ineffective with negative confessions. When we allow doubt and unbelief to take root in our minds and then begin to speak negatively, we can hinder our prayers. When we pray and ask God to do something and then turn around and say, “I am afraid God will not come through for me,” that is a negative confession.
The words we speak are powerful, more powerful than we realize. In fact, Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].” In other words, we will have what we say, so we need to be speaking positively, not negatively.
Isaiah 53:7 says about Jesus, “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth” (NKJV). Jesus “opened not His mouth” and did not speak negatively because He knew that He could thwart or delay God’s plan by speaking negatively at the wrong time. Sure, His trials were difficult—unimaginably grueling—but He did not complain.
When our hearts are full of doubt, we will make negative confessions, but when they are filled with faith, our words will reveal our faith and trust in God.
We need to be able to make the same statement about ourselves—that when we are going through hard times, we open not our mouths. We do not complain; we do not murmur; we do not speak ill of others; we do not doubt God with our words. You see, our words do not exist independently of who we are. Instead, our words represent who we are because they reveal what is in our hearts. Matthew 12:34 says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (NKJV). When our hearts are full of doubt, we will make negative confessions, but when they are filled with faith, our words will reveal our faith and trust in God. When God hears a prayer followed by a negative confession, He does not respond. But when He hears a prayer that is accompanied with words that express confidence in Him, He delights to answer.
10. FAILURE TO FOCUS
Another reason prayers are not answered is that we do not stay focused when we pray and we are not diligent to keep our hearts connected to heaven. Before we know it, we are saying words that have little meaning or we are distracted by the many pressures or activities of life. We end up not concentrating on talking to God, not really paying attention to Him—and that’s not a good way to have a prayer answered!
One of the best stories I know about focus has to do with taming lions. When a lion trainer goes into a cage with a lion, he takes three things with him: a whip, a
stun gun, and a stool with three or four legs on it. He holds the stool with the legs pointing toward the lion. Why? Because a lion cannot focus on more than one thing at a time. When the lion sees more than one leg on the stool, he actually “freezes” and cannot move to attack the trainer.
I believe we are like the lions and can be paralyzed, in a way, when too much comes at us at one time. When we cannot focus, we are not effective or productive. The Bible says in Proverbs 4:25–27, “Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you. Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright. Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left.. . .#8221;
If we do want to receive from the Lord—if we do want our prayers answered—we need to learn to stay focused not only in prayer, but also in life. We need to know what God has called us to do, prioritize that, focus on that, pray about that and watch as God answers our prayers and does great things through us.
Know what God has called you to do; be responsible for and pray consistently concerning those things. No one’s prayers have as much effect on your life, family, and ministry as yours do. When Paul told Timothy to give himself to his ministry, to “throw himself wholly” into his duties (see 1 Timothy 4:15), he was telling him to stay focused. Prayer is like a laser beam. It is powerful, but you must stay focused in an area until the desired results are accomplished. Whatever God assigns you to do, stay focused! Focused prayer is powerful prayer!
11. NOT CARING FOR PEOPLE IN NEED
E. M. Bounds writes, “Compassion stands beside sympathy for others, is interested in them, and is concerned about them” and that “prayer belongs to the compassionate man.”1 If we want our prayers to be answered, we need to be compassionate and kind to the poor. I have referenced Proverbs 21:13 before, but I want to emphasize it again: “Whoever stops his ears at the cry of the poor will cry out himself and not be heard.” That verse speaks for itself. If we want God to hear our prayers, we need to care for those who are less fortunate than we are.