CHAPTER 9
The one thing I’ve always hated more about high school was that the line between a rumor and the truth could get amazingly blurred. It was all over the whole school that I was secretly dating Brandon Carter, now Rhiannon and her friends were nastier than usual. I didn’t have time for her pettiness because she thought I was some kind of a threat. I sighed inwardly, if there was a competition and Brandon was the prize, I certainly was not even in the race.
Tess and I sat on the bench as I sipped on some cold water; we had a 15-minute break from gym class. We were having an easy conversation when a girl walked up to us, I’ve seen her once or twice in the hallways but I didn’t know her personally.
“Hey.” She greeted us and we extended it back “Hey Katelyn, can I talk to you for a sec?” she asked and I looked at Tess then back at her “Its okay in front of her.” I said and she nodded. “I’m Leah, by the way. I know you don’t know me very well, but I heard you and Brandon are a thing.” She said and my shoulders fell on a heavy sigh “We’re not.” I said simply.
“Even so…just be careful of him.” She said and my eyes tightened, she paused “He’s an ass.” She added, as if that was the least offensive description she could come up with. “He’ll treat you like you actually mean something to him before he completely forgets you.” She continued. “I’d know; I tasted rejection from him first hand.” She added and I didn’t even flinch, I just stared at her blankly.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, because she genuinely didn’t seem like she had an ulterior motive. She shrugged
“You seem like a nice person, and one less disillusioned girl is something I guess.” She said “Or maybe I want good karma.” She said with a smile I couldn’t return. I nodded and she walked away after saying goodbye. Tess put her hand on my shoulder
“You okay?” she asked and I looked at her forcing a smile this time “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked and she didn’t probe any further.
I was glad to finally be putting the finishing touches on our project; it looked amazing. After today there’ll be no reason to keep hanging around him anymore, I should’ve been happy. And Leah’s word of advice was still weighing on my mind a bit.
“Hey, I’m not quite sure about these lines, you think we can’t fix them up a bit?” I asked Brandon while I stared at the drawing. I heard him get off his chair and walk up to me. He peaked over my shoulder; he was standing too close again. I tried to avoid him and my responsive heart to no avail. He leaned down
“Huh, I see what you mean.” He said, and I felt his warm breath wash over my neck “You could make them a tad bit darker by adding small dots, there…” He said pointing to the area “And there.” He added then moved away.
After I calmed my nerves I saw that his idea could work, really well. I smiled at him “That’s a really good idea.” I said and he smiled too “You’re good.” I added, it was true, having him as a partner was nearly unfair to everyone else, it shouldn’t have been this easy, and it was because of him.
He shrugged almost sheepishly “I try my best.” He said and I laughed, “Fake modesty doesn’t really help your bad boy image.” I teased. He cocked his head to the side “Is that how you see me?” he drawled, taking a step forward.
I almost groaned; he wasn’t going to make this easy for me was he? I turned my gaze back to the picture. “Well you don’t need me to confirm what you already know.” I said. “Oh but I do.” He replied scooting closer again “Maybe then I’ll know how to get into that pretty little head of yours.” He added tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I felt something in me snap, with the weight of my feelings for him, the pressure of the rumors and his relentless pursuit, I just couldn’t take anymore. I slapped his hand away and put my arm in between us creating some much needed distance. A muffled scream of frustration tore from me “I’m not doing this!” I shrieked “I’m not playing this sick game of yours or what ever you call what you do to girls.” I added fiercely. He stared at me shocked for a second
“What is your problem?” he asked, I heard a slight fault in his cool tone. “My problem is you, Leah came to me and warned me about you.” I said and he didn’t even seem fazed by that.
“So?” he asked and I chuckled incredulously “So?” I repeated, feeling my anger rise “Do you even remember her? She’s one of her many female friends I supposed.” I said and he shook his head
“Why are we even talking about her, it doesn’t really matter either way.” He said and my hands balled into fists. He didn’t get it, he didn’t get how things worked in the girl world and he didn’t even care. I took a few steps back
“It doesn’t matter? Who do you think you are?” I’m almost shouting at him now, “You don’t get to toy with people’s emotions like that Brandon, its just wrong.” I added then took a deep breath trying to regain my composure. I’ve never had to go off at someone like that, ever. It shocked me too,
“You know I used to think this was all just fun to you, some sort of twisted pastime but I’m starting to think that’s just who you really are.” I said bitterly and his grey gaze hardened with anger.
“You don’t know anything about me,” he said with a cold tone, “Yeah, I don’t and I’m sure you don’t let anyone else know either.” I replied in the same manner. His jaw clenched, I don’t need to tell you why you should keep him at arm’s length I remembered JT’s words. Everyone’s been voicing their opinions on him and I was sure they weren’t lost to him, but it was time I said what I thought.
“You know what my theory is? I think that someone you cared about hurt you before.” I said more calmly “And that this…” I waved a hand at all his gorgeous glory “…is just a defense mechanism.” I added. His eyes narrowed but he kept quiet so I continued, “I think a girl broke your heart once and now you’re on a mission to break the heart of every girl you come across. Just to prove to yourself that you can too.” I said and walked up to him “That’s awesome Brandon, really, bravo.” I said then pointed at him, my finger touching his chest “But you know where guys like you end up? Alone and miserable.” I said, not feeling anger anymore, just sad indifference “So I’m sorry if I don’t want to be caught up in your crap.” I added then turned to walk away. I’ll fix the drawing some other time, right now I just wanted to get the hell away from him. I grabbed my backpack, going for the door.
“My mother left me when I was six.” He said and I froze “I’ve never seen her since.” He added and I slowly turned to look at him. His expression revealed nothing but his stormy grey eyes showed the pain I had no doubt he felt over his mother. He had been hurt, just not the way I thought he was. I felt myself walk slowly back to him as he reluctantly continued to tell me about her.
“My father loved her, but according to him she never felt the same way. All she cared about was the fortune that came with him.” He said never looking away from me “And when she got her hands on it-having me secured that-she ran for the hills.” He added. His eyes tightened “She left her husband but how could she abandon her only child for such superficial things.” He said with a tone that made my throat tighten with emotion.
I couldn’t help but think about him growing up with that kind of hurt and rejection, especially from someone who’s supposed to love you and be there no matter what. I looked down suddenly feeling terrible for some of the things I said to him. I said he’d end up alone and miserable and he might’ve even had a taste of that in the past. I didn’t know I was rubbing salt into a wound.
“I-I’m sorry Brandon, I had no idea.” I said, swallowing hard. A smile tugged on the corners of his lips but it seemed blank, and it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Of course you didn’t.” he said “But I guess your theory is correct, to an extent.” He added then turned around.
Impulsively, almost instinctually I touched his shoulder, he turned to face me again and I wrapped my arms around him. He tensed with shock for a moment then he hugged me back, holding me
tightly to him and burying his head in the crook of my neck. This was a bad idea and for once I didn’t care.
I didn’t condone his actions but at leased I understood the reason behind them. He’s just a boy, hurting and seeking love he was deprived off from a young age, which made him seem less cold and calculating. It also made me want to help him.
“Not all women are cold hearted mercenaries Brandon, some of us can love unconditionally.” I whispered, truly believing it. I had been blessed and showered with it; he had not. He didn’t know what that was. He lifted his head to look at me and the emotion in his eyes hit me like a ton of bricks. His hand moved from my waist to gently caress my cheek.
There was an honest and sincere essence in the way he was holding me now, he was not the troublemaking heartbreaker, he was just Brandon and I was completely under his spell. My lips parted to let in a much-needed breath and his eyes fell to them. “I want to kiss you, please don’t stop me,” he said with a strained voice, he sounded like he’d get on his knees and beg if needed be. I nodded, I wanted to be kissed, I needed to be kissed by him.
He leaned down to press his lips against mine; they felt soft and amazing as they moved tenderly with mine. The kiss grew more urgent and my hands involuntarily went into his hair, what a bold move for someone who has never been kissed before. I wasn’t even sure I was doing it right; I just followed Brandon’s lead, which was slowly driving me crazy.
He pulled away but his lips lingered on the corner of my mouth then they travelled down my jawline. I tried to calm my heart and breathing, I heard his breathy chuckle “This was better than the one we had in my dreams.” He said and I blushed, knowing exactly what he meant, I’ve had a couple of dreams that he starred in. Though I was not brave enough to admit it.
“You haven’t done this before, have you?” he whispered against me then pulled back to look at me. I looked down, how did he know that? Was I that terrible at it? “Don’t make fun of me.” I said and he smiled.
“I wasn’t going to, I’m actually glad I’m your first kiss.” He said, “I’m I that bad?” I asked and his smile turned into a grin “You rocked my world princess, especially when you grabbed my hair, that was hot.” He said and I chuckled blushing violently. He touched my red cheek “Look at you blushing, I’ve scandalized you. The Gilbert men are probably going to skin me alive.” He teased “But you’re so worth it.” He added placing brief kiss to my shoulder. I laughed “Its just a kiss Brandon.” I said, its not like we were doing anything indecent.
“Yeah and my services are available if you want an extensive lesson on kissing.” He said, okay it was time to get out of this boy’s arms now. I chuckled pulling away from him and he let go “You’re bad. Bad for me.” I said and he laughed, “But you’ll have me anyway, right?” he asked and I shook my head at him smiling, it seemed like it, did I honestly have a choice? I don’t know. “Let’s finish this project.” I said walking back to the drawing table.
I found Tess waiting for me in the lot, we climbed into the car, she was eyeing me closely enough to make me slightly uncomfortable. I looked at her
“What’s up with that grin on your face?” she asked and I tried to frown. “What?” I asked and her eyes widened after a moment. Tess could read me too well sometimes “Oh my God you—”
I nodded sheepishly “I kissed him.” I said and she threw her head back laughing. “Well good for you girl, I hope you blew Mr. blonde and delicious away, someone had to.” She said and I chuckled “He said I rocked his world, is that good?” I asked and she smiled “That’s great.” She said then playfully pushed my shoulder “And how was it for you?” she asked and I sank in my seat, remembering “It was just…wow.” I said and she grinned.
“So are you two like a thing now?” she asked and I touched my lips absently, at the time I didn’t think about what outcome it could have. “I don’t know.” I said truthfully and she shook her head. “Well either way Mrs. blonde and delicious there’s no running away from him now.” She said and I pushed her this time around and she chuckled. Did I want something with Brandon? I’m not sure but against my better judgment I was going to let the chips fall where they may.