CHAPTER 19
His house was empty when we got there, except for a housekeeper; who welcomed us at the entrance hall before walking away after a parting smile.
“Where’s your family?” I asked as we went into the great room, “They went away to a ski resort for the weekend.” He said, “They wanted me to come with but I refused, I wasn’t up for it.” He said and I frowned.
“You’re here alone?” I asked, even though that was quite obvious, he must’ve caught what I meant because he chuckled warily.
“I’m used to it.” He said with a shrug “When I was younger I used to remain with the staff whenever Dad went on a business trip.” He added; I shook my head, imagining how that must’ve felt like.
“You must’ve been lonely sometimes.” I said and he dismissed it with his hand “Would you like something?” he asked walking over to the kitchen island.
“That mean milkshake you make, I miss it.” I said and he chuckled, “Coming right up, I’ll be right back okay?” he asked “Sure.” I said then he disappeared into what I presumed was the pantry.
I stood up and walked around the great room then found myself going up the staircase towards his bedroom. I opened the door and walked inside, for a moment I felt like I was intruding then remembered that I’d been in here a couple of times before.
I walked over to his queen-sized bed where his jacket lay, I picked it up and pressed it to my face and inhaled. I smiled at the thought that I looked like a stalker; I put it down and sank to the edge of the bed. I ran my hand over the soft duvet remembering all the make-out sessions we’ve had on this very bed. There’s no denying that I want Brandon physically or is that my raging hormones talking? Once again I thought back to that night in his tent.
The door opened and I saw Brandon come in with a glass of milkshake, I smiled “I thought you bailed out on me,” he teased as he walked over to me. He crouched down in front of me and gave me the glass; I took it and placed it on the nightstand. His brows furrowed in confusion, I took a deep breath.
“Remember that night you said you’d wait for me?” I asked and he cocked his head to the side “I’m ready.” I whispered and I watched his grey eyes widen then blink a few times. For once I took Brandon Carter off guard, hell I even took myself off guard but this is what I want. If I’m ever going to lose my virginity I want it to be to him. He claims I don’t trust him, but giving myself to him this way is the biggest act of trust I can think of.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked looking at me over his long lashes, his usually smooth and confident voice sounded unsure and conflicted. I put both my hands on the side of his face forcing him to get up “Yes.” I said. He looked down at me for a while, his eyes showing his inner battle. I smiled inwardly; he really does love me.
“If we do this and you end up resenting me for pushing you Katelyn, I can never forgive myself.” He said running a hand through his golden locks. I shook my head, he didn’t push me this is my idea. “That wont happen, I want this, I want you.” I said and after a momentary pause he reached out and encircled my waist, lifting me off his bed. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He slowly lowered us both on the bed, not breaking contact. He continued his assault until all I could smell and feel was him; his lips halted on the crook of my neck and he looked up at me. His eyes were molten grey, absolutely breathtaking.
“You sure you want this?” he asked and I nodded then he rolled off me “What are you doing?” I asked dumbfounded. “I’m looking for protection.” He said opening his nightstand drawer. “You have condoms?” I asked my voice a little higher than I would’ve liked, it’s like a bucket of ice cold water had been poured on top of me. Suddenly what I was about to do became very real.
Brandon glanced at me then “I think they gave them to us in health class about a week ago.” He said his brows furrowing “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I said looking down “Can you give me a minute?” I asked getting off the bed “Sure, take your time.” He said with a frown of concern and I grabbed my handbag and walked into this bathroom shutting the door behind me. I quickly fished for my phone with trembling hands. Get a grip Katie! The little voice in me scorned, as I pressed the speed dial for Tess.
“Hey you.” Her voice came through “Hey Tess, I need a favor. If my parents or JT call tell them I’m with you having a sleepover.” I said keeping my voice low and she paused. “Uh okay, where are you really? Your voice sounds shaky, are you okay?” she asked sounding more alarmed.
“I’m fine, I’m in Brandon’s bathroom.” I said and she gasped theatrically “Oh my God, you’re going to do it aren’t you?” she asked.
“Yeah and I’m freaking out about it, I mean it was my idea and all—”
“Whoa slow down, is this what you really want?” she asked, “Despite the fact that I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown in his bathroom, yeah I want to do this.” I said sitting on top of the closed toilet seat.
“Then go for it, just take deep breaths, it passes I swear, I was nervous too with JT—” she said before I cut her off “Ew Tess, I don’t want that image in my head.” I said; I wasn’t tolerating it tonight.
“Okay, okay, just relax and follow his lead, I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.” She said, “I’ll cover for you, promise.” She added “Okay.” I said then we said our goodbyes. I stood up and I looked at myself in the mirror, giving myself a quick pep talk. I really did want this, and I didn’t want to chicken out now.
I discarded my lite jacket and my shoes; I let my hair down, raking my hands through it. I applied a small amount of lip-gloss. After another deep breath I walked back out.
I stopped dead at the sight of his room; it was darkened a little except for the soft light from the wall panels and the candles on each corner of the room. It looked very romantic and it soothed my wrecked nerves. Brandon had discarded only his shirt and he was lying down with his arms crossed behind his head staring at the ceiling. He looked almost unreal.
He saw me and sat up “Wow.” I said referring to his room; he smiled sheepishly “Over the top? I thought it might make it special.” He said, unsure of himself.
“This is special alright.” I said, he held out his hand and I realized that I haven’t made any move forward. He took my hands in his when I reached him
“God princess, you’re shaking.” He said then he frowned “You don’t have do this you know.” He said and I sighed.
“I know.” I said gently pushing at his chest forcing him to lie back down on the pillows “But I want to.” I said climbing on top of him this time. I kissed him and for a short while he lay there letting me do my thing, but I didn’t know what to do with him.
He put me out of my misery when he flipped me onto my back again; he looked into my eyes giving me another chance to stop him. I nodded, giving him the go ahead and he began to undress me.