The thought of him with another girl--even girls who'd come pre-Ali--did something to me. Something it hadn't done before. I wanted to put each one in the hospital. Just for a few days. Just as long as blood flowed.
"Someone like you? There is no one else like you."
"Inexperienced."
A sigh. "One," he hedged.
"Did you love her? How did she act afterward?"
He sighed. "Do you really want to talk about this?"
"Yes."
Tracing his fingers down my spine, caressing, he said, "No, I didn't love her. That was my do-anyone-who-agrees stage. And I don't know how she acted. Her parents came home and I had to sneak out the window."
I still wanted to make her bleed, but maybe I'd also bring her flowers. I didn't like the thought of her all alone, vulnerable, like I was now. "How did you feel?"
"Do you care, or are you really asking how I feel about us?"
I gulped. "Us."
He held me tighter. "I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."
Um. "Did you just quote Nicholas Sparks? Or rather, Ryan Gosling from The Notebook?"
A pause, a chuckle. "Was hoping you wouldn't catch that."
Too bad. "And you're not dying of shame for memorizing something from a chick flick?"
"Baby, that movie isn't a chick flick. It's the best wingman of all time. Any guy can get laid afterward. Besides, the thought of Ryan Gosling made you go all dreamy and crap."
It had. It so had. Well played, Cole Holland. Well played. "Have you ever had a one-night stand?" But I was back on track now.
He kissed my temple. "Where is this coming from?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "I feel so out of control right now, like I could pull out my hair, and then pull out yours, and then hug you and kiss you, and maybe eat a big stack of chocolate-chip cookies."
"That's... Okay, wow. You are weird in the most perfect way."
"That doesn't answer my question."
A pause. A sigh. "Yes. I've had a one-night stand."
"With who?" I asked, already jealous of the faceless girl. Or girls.
"To be honest, I don't even know their names."
Names. Plural. Just how many girls did I need to hospitalize?
"So...what do you want to be when you grow up?" he asked. "Assuming all zombies have been wiped out by then."
I grabbed on to the distraction this time. It was a lifeline. "Seriously? That's how you phrase it?"
"Why not?"
"When I get older," I said with emphasis, "I want to... Don't you dare laugh! I want to be a counselor or something."
"Why would I laugh? You'll make a great counselor, helping people blubber about their--"
I twisted his nipple ring.
"Ow!" He pried my fingers loose. "You've been through so much," he said, serious now. "You can understand people and pain in a way so many others cannot."
"What about you? What do you want to do?"
"I've got it all figured out. On my downtime, I'll be a survivalist, taking people out in the woods and teaching them how to thrive."
"And telling them what to do."
"That's just a bonus."
"Well, it's perfect for you. But what about your up time?"
"Law enforcement."
Even more perfect. "You'll get to deal with punk kids with secrets."
He flashed a dazzling grin. "Karma."
"The cow." I yawned, a wave of fatigue sneaking up on me.
"Sleep."
"No. Talk." But his warmth was lulling me deeper and deeper into a sea of darkness, and I soon drifted off....
I'm not sure how much time passed before he woke me up with a kiss.
"We've got to head back to River's, love. I need to find out if anything new was learned."
"Mmm, 'kay," I said and rolled to my side to sleep some more.
Chuckling, he gave my butt a light tap. "Up or I start tickling."
"And I start punching."
"Let's hold off on the foreplay until we're where we need to be."
*
Cole met with River, and I went back to bed. When I awoke, however long later, Cole was sitting at the side of the bed, watching me, his expression soft and tender.
"Good morning," he said with a grin.
I sat up, mumbled, "Yeah, yeah." I was sore and my mind was screaming one word over and over--sex, sex, sex.
"Hope you're hungry." He placed a tray piled high with pancakes over my lap. "They aren't chocolate-chip cookies, but I thought you'd enjoy them anyway."
I'm not sure how he'd managed to climb in and out of bed without waking me, but he had, and now he was encompassed by the bright light of a new day, looking sexier than ever while I probably sported a major case of bedhead.
"You're blushing," he said.
Because we just had sex! "Well, you're annoying me," I muttered.
He gave me the laugh reserved solely for me. "Note to self. Ali-gator turns into an Ali-cat when she doesn't get enough rest."
"And you're about to have the scratches to prove it."
"Oh, no," he said, holding up his hands. "I'd hate to have your nails embedded anywhere on me...again."
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He rubbed his knuckles into my crown.
"Stop!"
"Eat."
"Fine." I ate, showered--alone--and dressed in clean clothes that actually fit--thanks, whoever!--and tried not to think about everything we'd done in each other's arms. It was as I towel-dried my hair that I realized Cole and I hadn't yet had a new vision. I tried not to panic. The last time we'd stopped having visions, we'd broken up.
"Cole," I said, frantically moving in front of him as I fastened a leather cuff around each of my wrists. Anything that made it harder for zombies to bite down became a vital part of my wardrobe. "We didn't have a vision."
He frowned but said, "It'll be all right." He bent down and pressed a soft kiss into my lips. "We'll have one--"
--and suddenly we were in a narrow corridor. I was slung over his shoulder, and for the first time, I could actually feel the bone pushing into my stomach, cutting off my air. I could actually smell antiseptic, the tang of old pennies and smoke.
In the distance, gunfire and grunts of pain echoed, making me cringe.
"Let me go!" I snarled.
"Never again." As I beat at his back and slammed my knees into his torso, he lifted a gun and shot every single man brave enough to approach. Pop. Pop. Pop. Bodies fell.
Human bodies. Not zombies.
"I mean it. Let go," I demanded.
"Never. Again."
"You keep saying that. What do you want with me? What do you want from me?"
"What I've always wanted. Everything."
"Well, you can't have it."
At the end of the hallway, he could go left or right. To the left, Frosty was shooting his way through a group of men, his arms moving so quickly, from one target to another, I could hardly keep track. Bodies fell around him, too. Boom, boom, boom. Blood sprayed over the walls.
I'd never seen him look quite so fierce. His eyes were wild and glazed with hatred.
To the right, a sea of zombie collars lay on the floor--without zombies.
In both directions, fires crackled.
Cole went right, away from Frosty, surprising me. He--
--a knock at the door jolted us from the vision.
I blinked and found myself back inside the bedroom, the air clean and fresh, sunlight pouring in through the window.
"Rangarajan is here," Camilla announced. "If you want in on the action, you need to get to the courtyard."
Cole and I peered at each other, silent. Tense.
"That was more vivid than ever before," I said.
"I know. Our stronger connection must affect our visions, too."
"But why the delay in having one?"
"Because we have more control now and actually wanted it to happen? I don't know." He tangled a hand thr
ough his hair. "We'll put this on hold for a while."
All right. Okay. Because it wasn't life or death.
Was it?
"Hey," he said, gently chucking me under the chin. "This isn't a bad thing. The visions are our friend, not our enemy. They've helped us in so many ways."
True. "But they've hurt us, too."
"Only because we didn't know how to interpret them."
"This one seemed pretty cut-and-dried."
"Someone's a downer today, isn't she?" he asked with a growing smile.
I patted his cheek. "She is. And don't you forget it, or you'll lose something precious."
"If you're talking about my penis, I'd like to think it's precious to you, too."
Oh, good glory.
He laughed as he escorted me out of the room and to the courtyard. Only a handful of kids remained. River, Camilla and Knuckle Scars--I mean, Chance--plus all of our crew. The sun was high, a warm caress that contrasted nicely with the chilly air.
Someone had dragged a wide wooden circle to the center of the yard. Inside it had to be Dr. Rangarajan; his arms were shackled overhead and his legs shackled below, so that he formed a perfect X. He was a short, thin man, probably in his mid-sixties, with salt-and-pepper hair and tanned, deeply wrinkled skin. Next to him, slayers looked like Vikings of old.
The doctor had been stripped to his underwear, and the cold air had to be chomping on his exposed skin. Tears had chilled in his lashes and on his cheeks, and snot had dried on his nose.
Kat raced across the way to step in front of me. She didn't say a word, just looked up at me, and I knew what she was thinking. We should protest. I'd been tortured before, and she'd gotten an up-close-and-personal look at the results. If we did this, we would be stooping to Anima's level, fighting evil with evil.
But just like with Benjamin, I didn't know another way. And if the doctor knew where Justin was, we had to do something.
"P-please," Dr. Rangarajan begged. "Just let me go. I have a family."
"So did the kids you've killed." River paced in front of him, twirling a dagger at the end of his index finger. Blood dripped from a wound the action caused, but he didn't seem to notice. "I'm very close to losing my patience with you. You work for Anima, and I will hear you admit it. Every time you refuse or lie, I will carve an X in your flesh. When I run out of room, I'll carve one directly into your heart."
Dr. Rangarajan licked his lips as he nervously eyed the crowd of onlookers. One of his eyes was swollen and discolored, and there was a lump on his jaw. He'd already been beaten, but clearly hadn't given away any secrets.
"Where's my brother?" Jaclyn stomped over and punched him in the gut.
Gavin grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. She struggled for freedom, even delivering a punch to Gavin, but he never loosened his grip and finally she tired out, resting her head on his shoulder and sobbing. He ran his fingers through her hair, treating her as tenderly as he would a lost child.
River grinned at the doctor. "So," he said, waving the blade in front of Dr. Rangarajan's face. "Admit you work for Anima."
A tear rolled down Kat's cheek.
I found my feet moving forward of their own accord. Cole placed a hand on my shoulder in an effort to stop me, but Kat batted it away, and I kept going. I gently pushed River aside and faced the doctor.
Silently he pleaded with me.
What the heck was I going to do?
"Ali?" Camilla said.
"I--"
Helen appeared just in front of me. I gasped, and behind me, several people demanded to know what had happened.
Cole did his thing and jerked me behind him.
"Cool down on the protection detail," I said, moving around him. "Nothing happened. Nothing's wrong."
He grudgingly returned to Kat and Frosty, and I scanned the crowd. No one seemed to realize Helen stood next to the doctor. She was cloaked.
Facing Helen, while seeming to direct my attention to Dr. Rangarajan, I said, "Can you help us?"
"I lost track over the years," she said, "but since the first night of the attacks, I've been researching, just like Holland. Here's what I've learned. Dr. Rangarajan works directly under Rebecca Smith. I know her, worked with her. She is now the one in charge, the one you want. Her father started Anima, and when he died two years ago, Rebecca took over. If ever you meet her, trust nothing she says. Dr. Rangarajan's colleague, Dr. Wyatt Andrews, is the one referred to as Hodad."
"Dr. Wyatt Andrews," I said loudly. "That's who we need to look for next."
Dr. Rangarajan widened his eyes. "H-how did you know that?"
Rustling clothes behind me, footsteps. Clearly, someone had decided to search now.
Helen continued, "Justin is still alive, but not the other boy. He died last night."
With a heavy heart, I made the announcement.
Curses. Cries. Jaclyn's sob of relief.
Dr. Rangarajan struggled against his bonds. Did he assume I could read his mind? Fear me more than River's blade?
"Anima wants you, Ali," Helen said. "They took your blood when you were captured last month and ran some tests. You might have killed the guy responsible, but you didn't destroy his samples. Anima knows who you are. They know you're my daughter, the girl with the special zombie-destroying spirit. They want you back, and they'll stop at nothing."
I announced most of the rest, and Helen vanished. Gone as quickly as she'd come.
I was about to turn, when a thought occurred to me. The moment I was gone, Dr. Rangarajan was going to be killed. We couldn't afford to let him run to Anima and tattle on us, and that's exactly what he would do if we allowed him to live.
Could I live with his death? Especially when I could save him and stop him with my new ability.
An ability I'd yelled at Helen for using.
Did I really have another choice? I was backed into a corner, and I knew it. As she must have been.
Licking my lips, I placed my hands at the doctor's temples. He thrashed in an effort to dislodge me, but I held steady.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
Helen said all I had to do was wave my spirit-hand across his mind. So, I did it. And it was...weird. Not cold, not hot. But warm. Little zaps pricked against my fingers--electrical?
He stilled, frowned. Intelligent eyes glazed over.
I jerked away. Had it worked?
"What's your name?" I asked.
His frown deepened. "I--I don't know. Why don't I know?"
It had. It really had.
Behind me, the slayers went quiet.
I faced my audience, shoving my hands in my pockets.
"How did you learn that stuff?" River asked. "What did you do to his mind?"
My gaze locked on Cole. Curiosity stared back at me--maybe a hint of anger. Did he suspect the truth?
Shifting guiltily, I said, "A Witness told me. And I used an ability."
Different reactions. Shock. Confusion. Only Cole's mattered. A magnification of the anger.
Oh, yes. He suspected.
A kid came rushing through the crowd and stopped at River's side. "Two detectives are here, and they want to speak with you and Cole."
"Again?" River groaned. "This is becoming tiresome."
Cole massaged the back of his neck. "How did they know I was here?"
Everyone came to the same conclusion. They had followed us last night.
I stiffened. Last night, we'd seen no sign of them. So...what had they seen us do?
"Get rid of Rangarajan," River instructed, "and tell the underage to hide. The rest of us will go have a chat with the detectives."
Chapter 24
ZOMBIES WERE PEOPLE TOO
Could this day get any worse?
Wait. Scratch that. Bad things tended to happen whenever I contemplated that question.
The detectives had been monitoring us--and had readily admitted it--but if they'd seen us doing anything illegal, they hadn't alluded to it or even asked questi
ons about it. In fact, they'd seemed downright leery of us. As if their eyes had finally been opened to the truth, and they knew we were slayers, the only thing standing between them and a zombie apocalypse.
They'd come because a corpse had been found. A teenage boy.
They showed River and Cole a set of photographs, hoping to get an ID, and River finally said, his tone hollow, "That's Cary. He's mine. No other family."
The detectives offered little information about the boy's murder and soon left with a cryptic "Be careful."
What did they know? And did it affect us?
"Let's get back to Ankh's." Cole wrapped his arm around me, and for the first time, it wasn't a gesture of affection or comfort, but an intractable hold to prevent me from bolting.
To River, he said, "I'll call you in the morning and tell you our next move."
River disguised his anguish with an irritated expression. "You'll tell me?"
"We'll decide together," I offered. We needed everyone's mind programmed to only one setting: attack. We had to be smart about this, all head, no emotion. Justin's life depended on it.
Cole led me away. "Helen," he said quietly.
Wanted to lie. "Yes." Couldn't.
"And the memory thing?"
"Helen," I whispered.
His fingers bit into my shoulder. "I thought you knew better. She's a liar, Ali. She's a betrayer."
"She's my mother, Cole."
He sucked in a breath. "Is that affection I detect in your tone?"
No. Yes. "Maybe."
"I can't believe you're doing this. She abandoned you. She betrayed our kind. Killed my mother! Ensured she was turned. Because of Helen, I had to watch my father ash my mother--after she attacked me, her own son."
Aching for the boy he'd been, and the man he'd become, I whispered, "I'm not disagreeing with you. What Helen did was wrong, no matter her reasons."
"Exactly. There's no reason good enough."
And still I said, "What you don't know is that she was desperate, felt she had no good choices." The words sounded lame, even to me. "But she's different now."
"People don't change, Ali."
"They do."
"She's going to get you killed. Get us all killed."
"Cole--"
"No. Don't you dare try to talk me into forgiving her."
"That's not what I'm doing." I tried again. "Cole--"
Again he shut me down. "Did last night mean anything to you?" Cursing under his breath, he let me go and quickened his pace, moving ahead of me.
Realization hit. The boy I'd trusted with my body, and given my heart to, had just left me in his dust. There had been no talking it over. No compromise.