Marriage with Raymond. I believed it could be for me ... if I wanted it. Did I want it? Partly ... yes. Most people married and if they did not they were often vaguely dissatisfied, constantly thinking with regret of what they had missed. What had Granny once said? Something like: You must choose and if you leave the choice too late there might not be any to choose from.
I supposed most people accepted a compromise. Young girls dreamed of romance .. . impossible dreams of knights on chargers, shining heroes who in truth had no part in everyday life.
Raymond was what would be called highly eligible. I liked him very much. I should be disappointed if he discontinued his visits or transferred his attentions to someone else. He had certainly made us all happier and although we still looked for Philip's letters I am sure that even Granny M did not mourn quite so much as she had before
we went to the conference. Raymond had done that for us and when he suggested we should visit his family in Buckinghamshire, it seemed that my mind was being made up for me.
"They all talk of the house in Buckinghamshire as home," Raymond explained to us.
He told us that his grandfather had bought the house in 1820. It was then an ancient mansion which had been damaged—though not completely destroyed—by fire, and there was still much of the old building standing.
The family had lived in it ever since.
"You'll probably think it is a bit of a hotchpotch. Part of it is pure Tudor and I think the architects made a mistake in not attempting to restore it to what it was once. In the eighteen fifties a great deal of building was done in the style of that period—flamboyant and ornate, which really does not merge in very well. Still, for all its faults, we love it."
Granny M and I travelled down by train and were met at the station by Raymond.
He was delighted to see us and we were soon bowling along those leafy lanes of Buckinghamshire. We turned into a drive and after we had gone for about a quarter of a mile, we rounded a bend and there was the house.
I saw at once how it fitted Raymond's description. It was solid and in its way magnificent. It was grey stone and very ornate—with twirls and coils at every conceivable spot. There was a great porch over which creeper climbed and a large glass conservatory stretching along the side of the house.
"We always say that everything that could be put into it, was," said Raymond. "It's an example of Victorian architecture, so I've been told. You might think it is a little flamboyant, but let me tell you one thing—it is comfortable."
"It looks most interesting," I cried. "I am longing to explore."
"And those members of the family who haven't already met you are longing to make your acquaintance."
Granny M was absolutely purring with satisfaction. I could sense she was liking everything about Raymond more and more.
The family was waiting for us. His father and Basil whom we already knew welcomed us like old friends and we were introduced to his mother, his sister Grace, and his youngest brother James.
Raymond's mother was a little woman with bright laughing eyes.
She said: "We've heard so much about you, not only from Raymond, but from Father and Basil. We're just longing to meet you."
I looked round at the smiling faces and I felt very happy to be received so warmly into such a family.
"Show them their rooms first," suggested Raymond. "Then well have tea and talk."
"You come with me, Grace," said Mrs. Billington. And to us: "We hope you'll be comfortable."
"I am sure we shall," 1 replied with conviction.
"It is so kind of you to ask us," added Granny M.
"We have wanted to do so for so long. Raymond has told us about your meeting at the conference. Maps... That's all they think of. The conversation in this house! It's maps, maps and more maps, isn't it, Grace?"
Grace said it was. "There was Raymond and Father," she added. "And now James is getting just as bad."
"It's in the family," said Mrs. Billington. She paused on the stairs, I guessed because she thought they might be a little too steep for Granny M. "You're on the second floor," she went on. "That's where the guest rooms are. It is a bit of a climb, but there is a nice view when you get there. The house is rather large and not very well planned, they say. You can get lost easily. But after a while it all slips into place. Oh, here we are. This is yours, Mrs. Mallory, and I've put Annalice... I hope you don't mind, my dear, but we always call you Annalice among ourselves... and it slips out."
"I'm glad," I told her. "It makes me feel at home right away."
"That's what we want. You're here. Right next to each other."
She opened a door. There were french windows onto a stone balcony on which stood pots of flowering shrubs. The room was light and lofty compared with our Tudor ones. I gave a gasp of admiration which clearly pleased our hostess.
"It's lovely," I said.
"These are the rooms in the front. They are a little bigger than those at the back."
"We wanted to make a good impression," said Grace.
"Grace!" said her mother in mock reproof.
"I daresay they would like to wash and tidy up before tea, Mother," said Grace.
"I'd thought of that. The hot water is coming. Here it is. Come in, Jane."
The maid bobbed a curtsey and I smiled at her.
"Put it down there, Jane," said Mrs. Billington. "About fifteen minutes, eh? Is that enough?"
"Quite enough, isn't it, Granny," I said, and Granny M agreed.
In ten minutes I was ready to go down and I went into Granny M's room. She was ready too.
"Charming," she said. "A lovely family. I am so pleased. I wish ..."
I knew what she was wishing and said: "Perhaps it won't be long before we hear from him. Raymond says that mail is often delayed in these far-off places."
We went down to tea. Hot muffins and several kinds of cakes were laid out on the table.
The drawing room was large and lofty and the fireplace immense and very decorative with angels carved on either side of it as though supporting it. A large marble clock stood on the mantelpiece and on the walls were pictures of men in Victorian dress.
"The ancestors," said Grace, following my gaze. "We can't sport many so we make the most of what we have got. I hear it is different with the Mallorys. Raymond has described your house in detail."
"Don't give me away," said Raymond.
"He thinks your house is wonderful," Grace told me.
"I hope I shall get an invitation to see it," said Basil.
"You have it now," put in Granny M.
"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Mallory."
We talked about the country and the difference between our respective villages; and when in due course the conversation turned to map making that was natural enough.
"It's strange," said Mrs. Billington, "how this sort of thing runs in families."
Granny M agreed. "It is the same with ours. My grandson, Philip, was brought up to it and it was clear, from an early age, that there was nothing else for him."
"I hear he is away on an expedition."
"Yes, to the Pacific."
"That is what I should like to do," said James.
"Hark at him!" cried Basil. "They all want to go out to adventure. They think it is some pleasure cruise. It's quite different, I do assure :you."
"You have been?" I asked.
"Yes, I went when I was sixteen."
"I thought it would be good for him," said Mr. Billington. "James will go in due course. It is a good way of introducing them to the realities. They soon realize it is not all that much of a pleasure cruise, as Basil says. There are certain discomforts."
"I'll second that," said Basil.
"My grandson has been away since last October," Granny M told them.
"You can't do much in a year." said Mr. Billington.
"We haven't heard from him for some time.** 1 put in rather shakily.
"One doesn't. The mail is so very difficult. I don't thi
nk we heard from you. Basil, all the time you were av.
"I wasn't going to put all that effort into writing letters which might never arrive.**
"From which." said Grace, "you gather our Basil is not the most energetic of mortals.**
I met Raymond's eyes and he smiled at me. It was a warm and happy smile.
Tea over, Raymond and I went for a walk in the gardens surrounding the house while Mrs. Billington and Grace took Granny M on a tour of the house.
Raymond told me that he was so pleased I had come. "It is hard to believe,** he added, "that it is only three months since that memorable day at the lecture."
"It has all gone very quickly to me. Has it seemed so long to your
He took my arm. "Both long and short. Not long enough ... and short while it is happening, and yet I feel I have known you for years... and that makes it seem long." He paused to look at me earnestly and then he went on: "These gardens are my mother s joy. She does quite a lot of work in them. She has her garden and her stillroom. She'll want to show them to you."
"She is very charming." I said.
"I have been hoping that you two would get along."
"I should imagine no one could fail to get along with her."
"Nor with you."
"Oh, that is a different proposition. I am sure."
He laughed and pressed my arm.
We talked about the flowers but I don't believe that either of us was really thinking of them.
We dined that night in the big dining room with its massive fireplace and ornate ceiling. The woodwork was intricately carved and it gave the impression that everything that could be put in that space had been included.
It was a jolly company and even the servants gave the impression of enjoying the fun as they tripped round with the various dishes, supervised by the butler. I could sense a tremendous interest in me on all sides.
I remembered what our servants had said about Raymond's my "intended." I rather felt that was what was being thought here.
How the conversation came back to maps! It was rather as it was in our house. We had constantly talked of them, and on those occasions when Benjamin Darkin came to dinner they were the sole topic.
This was like our family —only larger. The Billingtons gave me the impression that they were doing exactly what they wanted in life, achieving their goals and not forgetting to be grateful to fate for giving them so much.
I could easily become a member of this family —a Billington. spending my life here in this heavy, stone Victorian house —what a purist would call a monstrosity of architecture. Of course it lacked the fascination of antiquity, the elegance of an earlier age: but I liked it, with all its flamboyant carvings, its twists and its twirls, its stone lions and dragons; and I knew that the Billingtons would not have changed it for the finest mansion in the country. And I could understand that.
Our house would seem a little sad after this.
But we should stay for at least a week. I was looking forward to that and I need not think of leaving yet—nor of making any hasty decisions.
Coffee was served in the drawing room when the men joined us after sitting over the port while Granny M. Mrs. Billington. Grace and I chatted together.
"It is so pleasant to meet all the family," said Granny M.
Grace surprised me when she said: "Oh . .. you haven't met everybody yet."
"But I thought you were all here?" said Granny M.
"Well, all except Grandmother," said Grace.
"Grandmother." explained Raymond, "is eighty years old. She very much wants to meet you but she was a little unwell yesterday and the doctor says she must rest today. If she is better tomorrow we will take you to meet her."
"I look forward to that."
"She lives in the past a great deal," said Mrs. Billington.
"She can tell some good stories about the family when she gets going," added Basil.
The evening passed in pleasant conversation, and Granny M and I had a chat in her room before retiring.
"What a delightful family!" she said. ~It makes you wish there were more of us. It's made me think of your father over there in Holland ... with those children. We ought all to be together."
"Why don't you ask him to come over?"
"I dont know. There's been a rift. He knows I don't like his living over there and getting out of the business as he did. That was a big
blow. What I should have done without Benjamin, I can't imagine. I envy these people. There are three sons... and the girl knows something about the business too."
"There is a fascination about map making. Our lives seem to revolve round it."
"Yes... But for it we should not be here. You would never have met Raymond. I like him, Annalice. I'm a good judge of people and I like him very much. I like the whole family. I should like to see a lot of them, be close to them."
"I know what you're saying, of course," I said.
"You are fond of him. And there is no doubt of his feelings for you."
"I like him very much."
"Feelings grow stronger, you know. Sometimes they need time. Oh, there's a lot of nonsense talked about taking one look and falling head over heels in love. You don't want to take too much notice of that. Sometimes... when all the surroundings are suitable... that's the best way. That's how it was with your grandfather and me. Everything fitted... and I was fond of him. I was fascinated by his enthusiasm for business. Well, you two start with that. I used to wish you were a boy, so that you could go into it thoroughly, make a career of it. It's difficult with girls. They don't have much chance. The only thing is marriage. Sometimes when you're very young, you don't think about it very much ... You don't think of the future."
I put my arms round her and kissed her. "It's all right, Granny. You don't have to sell him to me. I liked him from the first moment I saw him and I am liking him more and more every day."
She smiled and returned my kiss warmly, which was rare with her, for she was not demonstrative by nature.
"You children mean a lot to me," she said. "I often think about Philip and wonder. Suppose he never comes back."
"Don't say that, Granny. Don't even think of it."
"That's not very wise. It's better to face all possibilities, however unpleasant they may be. You can handle them better if they become realities. I was saying suppose, just suppose, Philip never came back ... one of those boys in Holland would have to inherit. Who knows, one of them might want to take up cartography as a career."
"Oh Granny, I don't want to talk like this. Not tonight, not here. I want to forget how worried we are."
"You're right, my dear. We're worrying about something that has never happened. I just want you to realize how good it is to have a family around you. Happiness does not just come to you, as young and romantic girls might think. You have to make it."
"You think Raymond is going to ask me to marry him, don't you?"
She nodded. "One little sign from you and he would."
"Granny, I have known him only three months."
"You've seen a great deal of him during that time."
"Yes, I have."
"And doesn't he improve on acquaintance?"
"I think perhaps he does."
Granny M nodded, well pleased.
The next day I was introduced to the grandmother. Grace took me up to her.
"She's a little deaf," Grace warned me. "She won't admit it, and often pretends she can hear when she can't."
I nodded.
"But she knows you are here and very much wants to see you."
I stood before her chair and she peered at me. Her eyebrows were grey and rather bushy, but her eyes beneath them were dark and alert.
"Ah. So you are the young lady I have been hearing so much about."
"Have you? I hope it was pleasant."
She gave a little laugh. "All very pleasant. Are you enjoying your stay here, my dear?"
"Very much, thank you."
"I am so
rry I was in my room when you arrived. It was that young doctor. They order you about sometimes when you are getting on in years."
"Oh no, Grandmother," protested Grace. "You know you won't allow that."
"No, I don't, do I? I've got a will of my own. I expect they've told you. It's not a bad thing to have."
"I believe it is a very valuable asset."
"And I believe, young lady, that you don't merely believe that, but have one."
"Perhaps. I hadn't thought much about it."
"That proves you've got one. Well, sit down. Tell me about that Tudor Manor House. Your family has lived there for years, I believe."
"Oh yes, we've been there for ages. The family have been in possession from the time it was built."
"Very interesting. I wish we could go back so far."
"Grandmother always wants to delve back into the past, don't you, Grandmother?" said Grace.
"I like to think of those who have gone before. I hope you are
going to stay for a while, my dear, and not run away as soon as you have come."
"We shall stay here until the end of the week."
"You'll come and see me again, won't you?"
"I shall be delighted if I may do so."
"We thought we would just pop in and say how do you do, Grandmother. Annalice will come again tomorrow."
"Will you, my dear? I shall look forward to that."
Grace led the way out of the room.
"She's a little tired today. Then she gets rather absent-minded. So I thought we'd make it a brief visit. You can go and see her tomorrow afternoon if you feel like it."
I said I should be delighted to do so.
There were local people who came to dine with the family that night and we had another delightful evening. The next morning Raymond and I went out together. James said he would come with us and as we were about to leave for the stables, his mother called him back and said she wanted him to go into the town to do an errand for her. She herself was going to show Granny M how she made a special posset and they were going into the herb garden to collect the ingredients.
I guessed James had been called back so that Raymond and I could be alone together.
It was a lovely day for late August. The fields were bright with the waving corn. Raymond said: "There will be a bumper harvest this year." I thought the wind rustling through the ripening ears reminded me of the rise and fall of waves on a sandy shore and I was momentarily sad, thinking of Philip.