Read The Scarecrows of Hodmedodlee Page 21


  Chapter

  14

  Friday arrived quicker than it was welcome and, as the last day before the wedding, it was hectic. Ma and Jenny were up at five o'clock and Ma declared she didn't know her tail from her whiskers.

  'We'll eat first then start on the bedrooms.' she finally decided. Primrose and Oak were to have Ma's bed and Ma and Bluebell would sleep in Jenny's room. Both bedrooms were given fresh bedding and thoroughly polished with beeswax. Plaited lavender sprigs were put under all the pillows. Next the food. Masses of pies, pasties, cakes and tarts were baked with it being decided that the piles of sandwiches were best left to Saturday afternoon so they would be nice and fresh for the evening wedding. By lunchtime Jenny and Ma were exhausted and flopped down on the sofa to check their wedding list.

  'Next on the list is collecting the flowers.' said Jenny. 'And then we need to collect Lolly and Drippy so we can try the skirts on them..oh and Ooty still needs to check the barn for mickies and make the confetti. And we haven't swept the barn and hung the fairylights up yet either.'

  'Ooty was sitting in front of Jenny and listening carefully. He trotted off to fetch a newspaper.

  Ma smiled. 'I do love Ooty. He understands everything we say to him.'

  'How will we bring all the other scarecrow's home Ma?' asked Jenny. 'They can't all get in the pram.'

  'I've already asked the farmers to return them this afternoon.' said Ma 'Now the harvest is over they're not needed. I've told the other folk that I need the others back for the weekend for their woodworm medicine. We'll get them this evening and they can all have their supper together in the barn.'

  Just then, Ooty came in backwards through the doorway dragging a newspaper along. Jenny fetched him a big bowl and Ooty spent the next half hour happily shredding the paper into tiny pieces of confetti with his claws. Then Ma took the pram to collect the very excited Lolly and Drippy, while Jenny went across to Miss Flowerdew's shop to collect the flowers.

  'Divine, simply divine.' sighed Angela admiring the two posies she had made at Ma's request. 'Absolutely simply my best work today.'

  The two little posies were full of ripe corn and red paper poppies wrapped in white lace doilies.

  'Where's Pinny Pipit.' asked Jenny looking around the shop.

  'In the church of course.' said Angela. 'Centre stage. My new 'All is safely gathered in' theme don't you know.'

  Jenny didn't know and she didn't like the thought of Pinny being left in the church at night all on her own either. Churches are full of mice. Jenny took the posies and headed straight for the church with Ooty galloping ahead. Poor Pinny Pipit was miserable. She had already spent her first night alone locked in the dark old church bravely fighting a baby mouse by whacking him with a stalk of corn. She wanted to go home immediately. Jenny picked her out of the display of vegetables and corn sheaves and kissed her.

  'Don't worry Pinny. You're coming home with me right now, you're not really needed until Sunday for the harvest festival service and that’s not until the afternoon. By then Ooty will have get rid of all the mice. Anyway we couldn't have a wedding tomorrow without you. Me and you are the bridesmaids.'

  Ooty did a thorough mouse job there and then. He then had a long chat with his new mate, Holy Moly the Vicar's young tabby cat, who confessed instantly to being terrified of mice and was so relieved he now had Ooty for a chum.

  Ooty arrived back home just as a rather peculiar vehicle pulled up at Mawpin cottage. It was Primrose and Oak's amazing scarecrowmobile. Ma came tearing down the garden path as Bluebell and Primrose leapt from the funny van that was covered in multi coloured painted patches. The three ladies squealed and hugged each other, then squealed again as they hugged Jenny, and would have squealed and hugged Ooty too had they been able to catch him. Oak climbed from the driver's seat and bowed to Ma and Jenny. He was dressed as a circus ringmaster holding a black top hat. As Ma had said before – a funny man.

  'We'll fetch our guests in later.' said Bluebell motioning with her hand to the back of the scarecrowmobile they’re all fast asleep anyway. First things first. Let's get the kettle on. Devon is such a hike and we're all parched.'

  The din of excited chattering voices and clattering china teacups soon filled the tiny kitchen. Jenny noted that, just as Ma had a passion for the colour of her name's sake, so unsurprisingly did Bluebell and Primrose. Ma was the eldest but had you stood the three ladies in a row the heights would range from 'Bella' the tallest with grey curly hair and also the thinnest in a blue dimity cotton dress. Little round Ma next in her red poppy apron who was shorter and wider, and then dainty little dark haired 'Primmy in her daring sunshine yellow trouser suit. The ladies were very bubbly and friendly but Jenny thought Oak was more fascinating. He was as tall and willowy as a wand and bent himself almost double to avoid bashing his head on the back door frame – and that was without his top hat. He was also the quietest guest and had a thin black moustache and wore a gold buttoned red jacket. After a quick cuppa he disappeared to 'get cracking' as he put it.

  Popsie, as Ma was now referred to by her family, was overcome with the many presents her sisters had brought with them. Jenny was thrilled with the gorgeous red satin dress from Bella that fitted her perfectly and equally delighted with Primmy's gifts of a real silver cat pendant and black cat hairslide. The wedding gifts were also lavish. Two white lace floppy sun hats for the brides, made by three or four of Bella's many daughters and red satin bow ties for the two grooms. The noisy excitement was then followed by gasps of admiration when Primmy unveiled, or rather unboxed, an enormous marmalade flavoured wedding cake, three tiers high and all encased in luminous crusty orange icing.

  The kitchen was a crazy loud place for the next few hours as the three woman busied themselves making more mountains of food whilst wetting their chatter with lashings of tea. Jenny and Ooty disappeared for a while over to the duck pond and spend an hour playing with the other village kids. Spike was there and showed Jenny how to catch newts. He picked one up to show it to Jenny and it's tail came off in his fingers. Jenny screamed.

  ‘No Spike NO, you’ve killed it.’

  'Don't worry' said Spike. 'It’s not dead, it'll grow another one, it doesn't hurt, it's just their way of escaping, they all do it.'

  Jenny still didn't like it.

  Spike had also caught a minnow fish which Ooty liked very much. He laid on the grass for ages watching it going round and round in a jam jar. Then Jenny thought it was time she went home to see if she was needed.

  The sun was setting, silhouetting the orchard trees black against the flame red sky of autumn. Jenny and Ooty strolled to the barn to see what was going on in there. Oak had driven the scarecrowmobile around to the barn and had got the all the scarecrows to unloaded it. All of the big farm scarecrows along with Lolly and Drippy were now back home and Oak had already organised a sweeping out committee and a bale moving team to clean the place up. He had then sent Grackle Blak and his brother Crowbie up ladders to hang the fairylights while the new wedding guests set up the food trestle tables that Oak had brought with him.

  Spudder and Tater were being shown how to blow up balloons when Jenny arrived. Watching scarecrows blowing up balloons is one of the funniest things you could ever see. First Spudder had blown on one like it was hot tea. He put it a the table and walked round and round it spitting and puffing on it. Then Oak told him to put it in his mouth, so Spudder did, and promptly chewed it up and swallowed it. So Oak tried to show Tater instead. Tater sucked and sucked on the balloon until he turn blue and fainted. Eventually the scarecrows did manage to get the idea that you are actually supposed to blow INTO the balloon, but Oak forgot to tell them when to stop…Tater and Ooty took off like a couple of rats up a drainpipe when Spudder’s massive balloon suddenly popped right in his face. Jenny just couldn’t stop laughing, she laughed and laughed until she snorted and that made her laugh even more. She finally stopped when got stitch in her side. Oak just sighed a loud.

  ?
??Mad mommets, they’re worse than old dogs sometimes, impossible to teach them new tricks.’

  Oak had everyone extremely well organised and Jenny had never seen her own gang being so well behaved. Oak seemed to be a master at organising scarecrows. Every scarecrow was told to sit, they all became very quiet and serious. Oak, as the ringmaster in charge, stood in the middle of the barn explaining in minute detail just how he had brewed the Somerset sozzle juice to the original 655 year old recipe, the huge barrel next to him now being the centre of everyone's silent attention. Several tongues were hanging out eagerly hoping, in vain, for an early tasting. Tattie Bogle crossed his arms and nodded cockily to the others when a dead frog was mentioned. Jenny's gazed at the strange new guests and their incredible costumes.

  Oak and Primmy had inherited a family farm down in Devon from Primmy's great Aunt Daisy. Unfortunately it came with very little in the way of income to support its large ageing gang of scarecrows. Oak being a very inventive, if a little odd, kind of a chap, had devised a novel way to support everyone by creating a kind of scarecrow roadshow that toured the country fairs. It may seem rather bizarre today but back in the 1940's television had yet to be properly invented and country folk were eager to watch something unusual and colourful. Parades and carnivals were very popular, as were Wax work models of famous people in fancy dress. Oak's scarecrow show was similar to this. Now seated around the barn Jenny recognised some very famous people.

  Huge 'Hardy Hayrick' with his glued on ginger fox fur beard and bejewelled red velvet costume was instantly recognisable as King Henry the eighth. Queen Elizabeth the first was portrayed by a small white faced 'Betty Bumstead'. Her spectacular jewellery was much admired by drippy and lolly. The Queen was very sweet and let the girls take it in turns to try on her head dress and strings of pearl necklaces, although her Tudor black painted wooden teeth were not very attractive, but Oak insisted every detail should be historically correct in his show.

  Jenny and Ooty were soon in the thick of the crowd and enjoying getting to know the guests. She especially liked little 'Spratty Sticklegs' who was only as tall as her and impersonating Napoleon Bonapart in his hat shaped like Ma's mantel clock. He spoke in a squeaky French accent that Ooty mistook for a mickie several times.

  Ma had been right about Bluebell's gang looking like film stars when her four glamorous scarecrows introduced themselves as Valentino, Fairbanks, Fay Sunray and Mary Pickadaisy.

  Valentino, dressed as an Arab Prince, kissed Jenny's hand and made her promise to have the first dance with him. He then did the same to all the other ladies in the barn including Birdie Stump, who, having been unusually polite up to that point, then lost control, said 'Go live in a ditch' and pushed him backwards over a bale.

  The strangest guest, if it was possible to be more strange than the others, was the haughty Tawny Owlrest, who, dressed as Queen Anne Boleyn, removed her head after speaking and tucked it under her arm, where creepily her lips still appeared to silently move.

  Scarecrows are not noted for their good behaviour as a rule, so with such a huge gathering of scarecrows, Oak had taken full charge and was determined there would be no fights, arguments or misbehaviour of any kind. Jenny quickly saw that without Oak she and Ma could not have managed the wedding and the guests all on their own. It was becoming a huge event.

  'What do you think of our gang Jen?' asked Oak sitting down next to her, 'Fun aren't they?'

  'Yes they are.' said Jenny. ' You are clever Oak. I like the fairylights and balloons. It's all really lovely.'

  Oak puffed out his skinny chest proudly.

  'Well thank you Missy, I try to do my best. Perhaps one day soon you and Ma will come to Devon and get to see our show.'

  'Oh I would love that' said Jenny 'But Ma said she wouldn't go on holiday and leave our gang behind in case the mickies ate them.'

  'Quite right too' replied Oak. 'Bring them all with you, we'll have a whale of a time. The greatest scarecrow show on Earth.'

  Later that evening, Jenny, Ooty and Ma escaped Mawpin cottage and took the pram quietly off to collect the last of the garden scarecrows.

  'Phew.' exclaimed Ma, once they were alone outside in the dark.

  'I'd forgotten how busy it is when we all gets together. Look I've even come out still wearing me slippers.'

  Jenny grinned at Ma's red fluffy feet trotting along the lane. 'Don't worry Ma, no one will notice. I'm glad Oak came. He's organised everyone, even Birdie Stump didn't dare answer him back when he told her to carry a bag of rubbish out and the barn looks wonderful.'

  'Yes,' said Ma. 'He's a funny man but he's devoted our young Primmy. They've only been married twenty years so they don't have any children yet but I expect they will one day. I'd love to go and see Oak's travelling show one day too. Do you know folk actually pay him money just to look at his scarecrows.'

  Dolly Clockaclay was waiting for them in her potting shed and immediately picked Ooty up and fussed him. Dolly adored Ooty as he made a special trip everyday just to check her potting shed was mouse free for her.

  'Hello Dolly.' said Jenny. 'Your lipstick looks nice.'

  Ma had a soft spot for Dolly and bought her a new lipstick every few months, as a treat for helping deliver the suppers. Now, with the aid of her new mirror, Dolly no longer looked like a clown.

  'I simply divine looking to wedding with yous.' she smiled. 'Pram no, thank you Ma, I absolutely simply walking.'

  Dolly strolled along the moonlit hedgerows happily holding Jenny's hand as Ma pushed Minnie Mommet and Ooty in the pram. Minnie bounced and fidgeted around impatiently.

  'I brides next.' she said flicking her long string hair back. 'Drippy mores pretty. Me next with lubbly Salty.'

  'Oh you don't want to get hitched to Salty.' said Ma winking at Jenny. 'He's far too old. Think of the new boys you are going to meet. I'm sure they'll all want to dance with you at the wedding.'

  Minnie stopped bouncing around in the pram. The idea of meeting some new boys was worth wasting time on thinking.

  The three Pole sisters piled onto the pram as Ooty struggled to climb to the top of the heap. It never occurred to Ooty to walk when he could ride instead.

  Spadger Bron was always easily exited so when Ma told him he could get off by himself he didn't wait to reply but shot off like a rabbit across the allotment and disappeared into Ma's orchard.

  Once all the scarecrows were safely locked up in the barn for the night. Ma and Jenny sat in the garden for a while enjoying a few moments peace and quiet.

  'Does Bluebell have a husband.' Jenny asked. 'She did do.' said Ma, stroking Ooty who had curled up on her lap. 'He was a soldier called Major Rowen. He died many years ago in the Boar war in Africa. They had lots of children. I forget how many. There's dozens of them, I think at least three of Bella's daughters still live at home and help with their gang. Some of her boys are married and Bluebell has grandchildren all over the place. I really must visit them all one day.'

  Jenny enjoyed having Ma all to herself again. She cuddled up to her on the garden bench and kissed Ma on the arm.

  'Did you have a husband too Ma?'

  'Heavens no.' chuckled Ma. 'I haven't had time to get married yet, maybe one day when I'm older. My Great Aunt Dahlia was nearly a hundred and forty six when she finally found the time to get married.'

  Jenny looked up at Ma with open mouth.

  'Was she the oldest woman in the world?'

  'Oh I don't suppose so.' replied Ma casually. 'Country folk live a long time without making a song and dance about it. It's the fresh air and fresh food that does it. Well my little wren, come on, time for bed I think. Busy day tomorrow.'