Chapter
15
A busy day was an understatement. From the minute Jenny opened her eyes on Saturday morning it was manic. Pinny Pipit stayed in bed hiding under the covers. She had had enough of being kissed and passed around and was fed up dodging all the busy feet downstairs. The chattering voices and clattering of china teacups was deafening as Jenny was almost bodily dragged into the kitchen and presented with a full fried breakfast by Bluebell and a huge bowl of probs by Primrose. Even Ooty struggled to cope with his three saucers of sardines lined up in a row – but he managed somehow.
Suddenly everyone hushed when Oak dropped his knife.
'MAN...' shouted everyone at the same time and then all burst out laughing. Just then a small blonde head popped itself around the kitchen door.
'Hi ya Jen. Morning everyone.' smiled Billy. 'Where do you want it Ma.'
'Gracious.' said Ma. 'I'd forgotten all about it. Behind the barn please Billy.'
Jenny grabbed the opportunity to quickly escape the fussing of her new Aunts and rushed out after Billy. On the village green, a smart brown and white skewbald pony was waiting patiently in the shafts of an old gypsy caravan.
'Wow.' exclaimed Jenny. 'Is it yours Bill?'
'It was,' explained Bill. 'But now it's yours. Ma bought it off of Dad. The horse is still ours though. Bramble belongs to our farm. Come on, in you get.'
One of Peter Bun's farm hands was driving and took them round to the orchard. Once there, he put bricks around the yellow wooden wheels to park it steady, then unharnessed Bramble and led him away. The green bow topped roof needed some small repairs and the little rear window had a few cracks in the glass diamond panes. Other than that it just needed a fresh coat of yellow paint to make it look smart again.
'I wonder what Ma wants it for.' said Jenny happily nosing in the cupboards and inspecting the stove.
'Dad told me that Ma wants it as a guess room.' said Billy.
'That makes sense.' said Jenny. 'We've got lots of guests at the moment and everyone's on top of each other. Perhaps Ma will let us have our club meetings in here too. We could cook our own sausages on this stove. We could be a caravan club. Let's go and get Spike and the twins.'
Ma and her sisters soon appeared and were busy inspecting the caravan when all the children came rushing back.
'Wow it's great.' said Meg and Peg together, immediately climbing in and bouncing on the bed. 'Can we clean it out for you Ma?'
'I was hoping you'd say that.' Ma grinned.
The afternoon was fun in the caravan and it was soon cleaned up. Spike washed the window and the paintwork while Meg climbed onto the roof and glued back a few tears in the green canvas. Jenny and Peg dragged the mattress outside and gave it a good beating – by using it as a trampoline. Billy occupied himself happily after finding a few loose bits that apparently required ALOT of nailing.
'Sorry you can't all stay to tea tonight.' said Jenny. 'We're having a family do.'
She then bristled with pride as she realised what she had said. She really did have a family of her own now.
'That's OK.' said Spike. 'My Dad said you can all come round to our house on Monday for a banger and spud supper if you like. I thought we might have a bonfire and cook the grub on that.'
Everyone agreed Spike's do sounded brilliant.
By seven o'clock that night everything had finally been prepared and two excited brides were dressed, ready and waiting in the gypsy caravan. Just as Oak left to go and collect them, he was heard talking to someone at the barn door.
'Very pleased to meet you.' said Oak. 'If you'd like to take a seat the wedding will be starting in a few moments.'
Willow came in looking around sheepishly and nodded to everyone.
'I'm so pleased you could make it.' smiled Ma greeting him warmly. 'And I see you've brought a fiddle with you.'
'Nice of you to invite me.' said Willow, tipping his hat to Ma. 'I borrowed it from one of the farmers. I'm a bit rusty but I used to play quite well. I thought your guests might enjoy a few traditional country tunes to dance too.'
Bluebell stood by the barn doors and turned off the main light. Everyone hushed in the temporary darkness. Then Oak came in with Lolly and Drippy on each of his arms. Bluebell flicked on the fairylights and everyone gasped. The two brides looked wonderful as they entered the twinkling barn dressed from head to toe in white satin and lace.
'Like little Christmas angels.' sniffed Primrose dabbing her nose with a yellow hanky.
Tater and Dickie looked very serious and very well-scrubbed as they stood waiting in the middle of the straw bale circle. Tater was wearing a pirate style eye patch that Jenny had made for him. It gave him more confidence and he no longer needed to put his hat so far down over his face. Ma then stood up and moved to the centre of the arena to begin the wedding service. Oak brought the two brides in front of Ma and then went and sat down.
'Lolly. You hold Dickie's hand. And you do the same Drippy.' said Ma
Everyone giggled as Drippy thought Ma meant she had to hold Dickie's hand too.
'No Drippy.' said Ma sweetly. 'You have to hold Tater's hand.'
Then Ma took two red ribbons and tied each couples hands together.
'The ribbons that joins these couples together signify the joining of their lives together from this day forward.'
Willow had told Ma what to say and Ma took it all very seriously.
'Dickie Perch and Lolly Sticks. Do you both promise to love and care for each other to the end of your days and not to go running off with anyone else ?'
'Promise I does Ma' answered Dickie quietly.
'I told him he does' said Lolly, turning around and grinning at everyone.
Ma smiled. 'And do you promise to love Dickie too Lolly?'
'Yes I do's.' replied Lolly firmly.
'And do you Drippy Mommet and Tater sack both promise to love and care for each other to the end of your days and never to run off with anyone else?'
'Yes Ma' said Tater very seriously.
'Can I get a cake now Ma?' asked Drippy, and the whole room erupted with laughter.'
'Only after you've made your promise Drippy.' said Ma sternly. 'Do you promise to love and care for Tater to the end of your days Drippy?
Drippy bowed her head. 'Sorry Ma. Yes I doos. I loves Tater more than cake.'
Several 'Ah's' were then heard from the crowd.
'Then I now declare before all these witnesses.' Ma sounded very official.' That these two couples are now properly....hitched. Dickie and Tater, you can now kiss your brides and jump the stick.'
Ma beckoned Jenny to then step forward ready to do her bit as Lolly leapt on Dickie nearly suffocating him with her kisses. Then the two couples jumped over a big stick that Ma placed at their feet signifying their crossing over from their old life into their new future together.
Wearing her new red satin dress Jenny held up a pretty china bowl with Pinny Pipit inside. The two bridesmaids then sprinkled Ooty's homemade confetti over the couples as Ma gave the order. 'Let the wedding march begin.'
The only person present who had seen a scarecrow wedding before was Willow and yet amazingly every scarecrow in the barn now seemed to know exactly what to do. Ma and Jenny quickly took a seat and watched as all the scarecrows rose to their feet, turned to the right and began slowly marching in a circle around the married couples. Softly and slowly they began to sing as they swung their arms like soldiers.
'Lolly and Dickie now is hitched. Pull his head off, chuck her in a ditch. Drippy and Tater now is hitched. Pull his head off, chuck her in a ditch.'
Jenny's mouth was now wide open in astonishment as the scarecrows repeated the chant louder and louder as they marched faster and faster until eventually they were running around the circle yelling and pushing each other in the back until suddenly they all rushed into the centre, grabbed the brides and grooms, pulled off the boys heads and threw them along with the two girls high up into the air. The scarecrows y
elled and whooped as they picked up the heads and bashed them back on while still throwing the girls around to each other like rag dolls. This was then followed by a lot of patting each other on the back and shaking of hands. Ma, her sisters and Jenny all sat silently stunned by what they had just witnessed. Eventually it was Oak who stood up, cleared his throat and said.
'Well umm ..um..if I can have your attention please ladies and gentlemen. Perhaps you would like to help yourselves to some food now and then the happy couples can cut the wedding cake. I...I think I'll go and open that barrel now.'
Willow took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and began playing his fiddle.
'Are all weddings like this Ma?' whispered Jenny, wondering if Creamy and Peter would be doing the same.
'No, not normally.' chuckled Ma. 'But scarecrows have very different ideas to us hooman beans.'
'You're not kidding.' said Bluebell. 'I wouldn't have missed this for the world. What a hoot.'
When Primmy fetched a knife so the couples could cut the wedding cake, she found they had already eaten it all.'
'Oh well, at least they liked it.' she sighed.
Willow's fiddle playing was brilliant. Fast Irish jig music broken up occasionally with slow sad country ballads that Willow accompanied with his own fine singing. Everyone was delighted with Willow who Oak described as, ‘A cracking bloke.'
The queue for the sozzle juice never seemed to end, although most in the queue, as the night wore on, tended to be shuffling along on their knees rather than their feet. Ma and her sisters couldn't stop dancing.
'Go on Popsie show 'em how it's done.' Yelled Primmy, as Ma and Bluebell hitched up their skirts for a lively version of Knees up Mother Brown. At one point the three ladies were actually screaming with laughter when Napoleon Bonapart got more than he bargained for by asking Minnie Mommet 'Danser avec moi belle dame.'
'He's only asking you to dance with him you silly Mommet.' squealed Bluebell hysterically collapsing as she tried to lift Minnie off of the flattened little Spratty Sticklegs. 'He didn't ask you to marry him.' Poor little Napoleon couldn't crawl away fast enough.
Jenny was loving every second of the party. She ate and danced and Willow taught her the words to a song so she could then join him in the singing. Not one single fight broke out. And the only minor scuffle came when Birdie Stump said something rude to Queen Elizabeth and the Queen's black wooden teeth flew out as she send Birdie sprawling backwards over a bale. Fortunately, Birdie just hiccuped and stayed where she fell for the rest of the evening, snoring quite loudly as everyone carried on dancing around her.
By three o'clock in the morning most of the scarecrows were laying in crumpled heaps around the barn. Eventually Ma, Bluebell and Jenny went off to bed after giving Willow some blankets to sleep in the caravan. Primrose and Oak were left to lock up the barn.
'What a wonderful wedding.' sighed Primmy.
Oak put his arm around his tiny wife and then hiccuped loudly.
'Do you know Prims, he said patting his top hat, 'that was the best barrel of sozzle I've ever made.'
'Funny.' chuckled Primrose. 'You say that every time.'
Next morning Jenny woke up listening out for the chattering voices and clattering tea cups. Strange, she thought. It's all very quiet. Then she saw Ma and Bluebell were still in their beds, fast asleep. Pinny Pipit and Ooty both refused to get up. They had learned something new at the wedding. Pinny had learned that sozzle juice doesn't taste like marmalade after all, but it does make you walk funny. Where as Ooty had learned that a cat’s tummy holds exactly twenty seven and a half salmon vol-au-vents - but it doesn't hold twenty eight.
Jenny got dressed and went downstairs. She was just about to put the kettle on when the back door opened and a blonde head popped around it.
'Morning Jen.' smiled Billy. 'You coming out today?'
'Definitely.' grinned Jenny.
'With a family as big as mine it's nice to escape sometimes – but not for too long.'
A short note from the author
…........
Thank you so much for reading this story.
Please leave a review if you can spare the time, after all, it's the only way I can improve and discover where I went wrong.
If all goes well, there will be more tales from the Hod-me-dod-lee scarecrows to follow.
Bless you all and thanks again.
D.J.Birkin
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