“Are you okay?” Celia’s voice came through the bathroom door.
“Yes.” I sounded as weak as I felt. I stood up slowly. Splashing my face with cool water, I caught the briefest glimpse of my pale reflection in the mirror and looked away. I knew now where my dark hair and eyes came from and I didn’t want to see them.
I opened the bathroom door. Celia touched my arm, tentatively, as if afraid I’d bat her hand away. “I’m so sorry,” she said.
I wasn’t sure I could walk all the way to the couch. Instead, I sat down on the carpeted hallway floor, my back against the wall. My phone cut into my hip bone and I pulled it out of my pocket and set it on the floor next to me. “Is that why she killed him?” I looked up at her. “Out of anger? It wasn’t an accident?”
She sat down across from me. “What do you remember about that day?” she asked.
I shook my head slowly, afraid the dizziness would return. “Nothing,” I said. “I was not even two, and I don’t remember anything about it. Danny said I got the scar on my forehead that day, but I don’t remember.”
“I think it’s good you don’t,” Celia wrapped her hands around her knees. “Jade said she was home alone with you, and Steven called to say he was coming over,” she said. “He was the last person she wanted to see, of course. She hadn’t been alone with him since … the day you were conceived.”
I winced.
“She was terrified. She knew where your father kept the key to his gun case, so she got the gun, though she really had no plan to use it. It wasn’t even loaded. She just wanted it close by in case he tried anything. Just to scare him. She left it in the den where she could get to it easily. Then she called Matty and asked him to come over, but Steven beat him there.” She ran her fingertips over the short pile of my hallway carpet. “And do you know what Steven wanted?” she asked.
“Sex?” I asked weakly.
“No,” she said. “He wanted his daughter. You. Somehow he figured out you were his child. His wife couldn’t have kids, and he told Jade he planned to hire some high-powered attorney to get custody of you. He talked about how well he could provide for you and how he’d turn you into this great musician and on and on. She was so afraid, because whatever Steven wanted, he always got.”
“So she killed him to stop him from trying to get custody of me?”
She shook her head. “No, Riley.” She leaned forward, her hands flat on the carpet, her gaze on my face. “Ever since she was little,” she said, “he’d abused her. Touched her. Fondled her. Whatever you want to call it.” The angry scarlet color had returned to Celia’s cheeks.
“Oh, no.” I pressed my hand to my mouth as the dizziness returned. “Oh, how sick.” I thought of the little girl with her tiny violin on the VHS tape. What price had she paid for her fame? That age-old question popped into my mind, Why didn’t she tell someone? But I was a counselor, I knew the answer. He had complete power over her, like Celia had said. She’d been dependent on him for her lessons. For her future. He could ruin her with one phone call, which was exactly what he’d tried to do by keeping her out of Juilliard. My heart broke for the frightened and confused girl she must have been. I hated Steven Davis. I would never claim him as my father.
“So, they were in the living room and he was telling her how he was going to get custody of you,” Celia said. “He convinced her he could do it, and she was so afraid she was going to lose you. I don’t think she was rational at that point, Riley. She went into the den and got the gun, and then she decided to load it. She says she just wanted to scare him. Shoot out a window or something to let him know she was serious, but I think the point is, she was out of her mind right then with the fear of losing you. And when she went back into the living room, he was holding you on his lap.”
I gasped. “I have no memory at all of this,” I said.
She leaned forward to touch my knee with her fingertips. “I’m glad you don’t,” she said. “When Jade saw you on his lap and remembered the things he’d done to her when she was little, she snapped. She grabbed you and tossed you—that’s the word she used when she told me what happened—she said she tossed you aside and then she shot the hell out of him.”
I lifted my hands to my face, steepled together like I was praying. “So it wasn’t an accident after all.” My voice was a whisper. I felt numb with shock and sorrow. “And she still didn’t tell anyone what he’d done to her?”
“She was afraid it would look like the motive,” she said. “Her real motive, though, was protecting you.”
For the first time, I could understand why Lisa had felt she had to run away. If the truth came out during the trial—that he’d abused her, that he’d raped her—well, she may have gained some sympathy from the jurors, but they would have known she’d had plenty of reason to kill him. She’d never be able to prove the shooting was accidental … because it wasn’t.
“You hit your head on the coffee table when she pulled you off his lap,” she said.
I touched my forehead and the small divot that had been with me all my life. When I lowered my hand, Celia rested her fingertips on my knee again. “I’m sorry to have to tell you all of this,” she said. “I really am. But you needed to know. I couldn’t let you think she’d ever willingly cast you aside.”
I nodded. “Thank you for telling me,” I whispered.
“Jade refuses to cancel New Bern,” Celia said, resting her hands in her lap. “She’ll take whatever Danny and his friend dish out. Even if it ruins her. And you know it will. She’s being really brave, but she’s going to be locked up for the rest of her life, and I’m so scared for her.”
I pressed my fingers to my eyes and they came away wet. “I’ll talk to Danny again,” I said, hoping he hadn’t already spoken to Harry. “But I don’t think he’ll bend.”
She picked up my phone from the floor. “I’m putting my number in your contacts,” she said, tapping the screen. “Call me after you talk to him, all right?”
“He’s driven, Celia,” I said. “All he cares about is hurting Lisa the way he thinks she hurt him. He’s looking for justice.”
She stood up. “I won’t stop hoping.” She leaned over, surprising me with a kiss on the top of my head. “And besides,” she said, straightening up again, “justice comes in many forms.”
56.
I didn’t even consider going to bed after Celia left, although it was four in the morning. My body was exhausted, but my mind reeled. That image of Lisa pulling me off Steven Davis’s lap and blowing him away in a fit of fury was never going to leave me.
I tried calling Danny, unsurprised when he didn’t answer. I grabbed my duffel bag and locked my apartment door before heading down to the deserted garage. My phone rang as I got in my car. Jeannie again. I would call her from the road. Right now, I was anxious to get back to New Bern. I’d drive straight to Danny’s trailer and wake him up. I had to tell him what I’d learned. I’d beg him not to talk to Harry … if he hadn’t already.
The night was pitch-black and I had the road nearly to myself. I started to call Jeannie twice, but each time tears filled my eyes and I knew my voice would shut down on me, and I stopped the call before it could go through. I was nearly to Goldsboro by the time I thought I could talk without crying.
She sounded frantic when she answered the phone. “Are you all right?” Her voice surrounded me in the car. “I’ve been so worried. I had no idea what—”
“I’m alive,” I said. “That’s about the best I can tell you.”
“What happened?” she asked.
My tears started again and I couldn’t speak.
“Oh, honey,” she said. “Tell me. Talk to me.”
“Steven Davis was my father,” I said.
She was silent and the dark air of my car filled with my sobs. I could hardly see the road in front of me.
“No,” Jeannie said finally. “I don’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it!”
I told her everything Celia had sai
d, my words nearly unintelligible. Jeannie had to ask me half a dozen times to repeat myself. By the time I’d choked out the story, her voice was thick as well.
“If only Lisa had told your parents what was going on!” she said. “They could have done something to help her.”
“I know.”
“She was such a gentle girl,” Jeannie added. “I could never even picture her holding a gun, much less shooting one. Now it all makes sense. She would have done anything to protect you.”
“And I was horrible to her, Jeannie!” I said. “I got so upset when I was talking to her.”
“Did you tell her to stay away from New Bern?” Jeannie asked.
“She’s coming anyway,” I said. “I have to talk to Danny. I have to try to—”
A deer suddenly darted into the road in front of me, nothing more than a flash of tawny fur in my headlights. Reflexively, I yanked the wheel to the right as I let out a scream. My car went airborne, the steering wheel useless, the tires off the road, and I catapulted like a rocket, upside down, into the black night.
57.
Jade
Jade and Celia were quiet in the sterile breakfast room of the hotel in the morning. Across the table from them, Shane and Travis talked about the set list for that night’s concert as they wolfed down their eggs and bacon, seemingly oblivious to the strain between the two women. Jade knew that Celia was upset with her, and who wouldn’t be? She was upset with herself, but for different reasons. She wanted to see Riley again. She wanted to take a cab over to her apartment right that second, but fear held her back. The way Riley had left her the night before had been so decisive, as though she was washing her hands of Jade forever. If only she could have more time with her. She wanted to build the connection with Riley they’d never been able to have. The yearning was so all-consuming that it nearly overshadowed her fears about tonight’s concert in New Bern. Had Danny already told his cop friend? Would she be led away in handcuffs once again? Her heart sped up at the thought of her hands bound together as they’d been so long ago. She didn’t think she could take it. Twenty-three years ago, she’d been facing years in prison. That would seem like a walk in the park in comparison to what she’d be facing now. Not only had she killed someone, but she’d jumped bail and assumed a false identity and … oh, who knew what all the charges would be? At least Daddy wasn’t alive to be charged as well. That would only have doubled her distress.
All she knew was that she would confess to everything. Every charge against her—she’d accept it without argument. There would be no trial. She was never going to let Riley learn that she’d had an abusive son of a bitch for a father.
She stared down at her plate with its untouched scrambled eggs and slice of bacon, and a small pathetic sound—a whimper—escaped from her throat.
“What’s the matter?” Travis looked across the table at her, his fork in his hand. Travis was sweet. The caretaker of the rest of them, and the peacemaker, always. He hated any sort of conflict. But she couldn’t say anything to put him at ease this morning. She could only stare at her plate.
Celia put her arm around Jade’s shoulders. “It’s all right,” she said softly in her ear. “We’ll work this out somehow.”
“What are you talking about?” Shane asked. “What’s going on? What do you need to work out?”
“No big deal,” Celia said. “She’ll be okay.”
She wanted to tell the guys right now, over breakfast. They’d be caught completely off guard tonight and that seemed unfair, but Celia said they needed to “just sit with it” for a while. Jade didn’t know what that meant, but she also didn’t have the strength to argue with her about it. Celia had been gone a long time the night before and she was quiet when she returned, not wanting to talk. Jade hated the uneasiness between them. This could very well be their last few hours of freedom together, and they were destined to have a sour, miserable day leading up to … what? Would the police come for her before the concert or after? Would Riley be there or would she stay home, not wanting to watch the disaster she and Danny had set in motion?
“You really look like shit,” Shane said to her.
“Shane,” Celia chided. “That’s not helpful.”
Jade pushed her chair away from the table. “I’m going up to the room,” she said, but she didn’t stand up.
“You should lie down for a while,” Travis said. “We don’t have to be out of here till eleven.”
She nodded, but couldn’t seem to get to her feet. Her body felt rubbery, her bones like jelly. At eleven o’clock, all four of them would pile into the van they’d rented for this leg of their tour. She dreaded the two- or three-hour drive to New Bern, with Shane and Travis wondering what was wrong with her, and Celia’s anger mounting. She would pretend to sleep.
Celia’s cell phone rang. The ringtone was one of their original songs that was so perky and upbeat it made Jade cringe. Celia looked at the caller ID, then raised the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” she said, then, “Yes, I’m Celia.”
Celia listened for a few seconds and Jade sensed a new tension in her as she got to her feet and walked away from their table. She watched her walk toward the windows, talking into the phone, but she couldn’t hear a word from where she sat. For a moment, she wondered if Celia could be talking to Riley … but Riley couldn’t possibly have her number.
Travis glanced over his shoulder toward Celia, then looked back at Jade. “Are you two all right or what?” he asked.
She looked at him. His face was boyish despite the blond stubble of beard he always wore. She thought of a dozen responses, but none came out of her mouth. She watched Celia. She was still talking on the phone, but now she walked out the door of the breakfast room toward the hotel lobby. Where was she going? If Jade could have made herself stand up, she would have followed her.
“What’s going on, Jade?” Shane asked.
She couldn’t look at him. “Tell you later,” she said.
Celia reappeared in the breakfast room. She was off the phone now, and her worried expression made Jade finally get to her feet.
“What is it?” she asked.
Celia clutched her forearm, probably harder than she meant to. “Okay,” she said to the three of them, and her false-sounding calmness told Jade that something was terribly wrong. “Here’s what we need to do.” Celia looked down at the men, each of them with a coffee cup in his hand and confusion in his face. “Jade and I have to leave right away,” she said. “I just called for a car.”
A car? Jade frowned at her.
“You guys follow later,” Celia said to them. “We’ll all meet up at the hotel in New Bern, okay?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Shane set down his cup. Jade wondered the same thing, but kept her mouth shut. She would find out soon enough. An attorney, she thought. Somehow, when Celia was out walking last night, she’d managed to reach a lawyer and they were going to see him or her. She didn’t know if that was good news or bad.
“There’s something we have to do and we’ll explain it all later, but right now Jade and I need to pack.” Celia tugged her arm. “Come on,” she said.
“Hey!” Shane called after them as they walked toward the lobby. “I think you at least owe us an explanation.” He was so loud, other diners turned to stare.
Celia ignored him, and Jade waited until they were in the elevator before she finally spoke. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Who was on the phone?”
“A woman named Jeannie Lyons,” Celia said.
“Jeannie!” she said. “Why would she be calling you? How could she have your number?”
The elevator doors opened and Celia took her arm again, walking her down the hallway toward their room, ignoring her question. It took Celia three tries to fit the key card into the lock and Jade’s nerves were about to give out. She impatiently pushed the door open when the green light finally flashed.
“Tell me!” she said once they were inside.
r /> “Listen to me,” Celia said with forced calm. “Riley’s been in an accident. She—”
“Oh, no!” Jade froze, her body unable to move a muscle. “Tell me she’s okay,” she pleaded. “Please. Where is she?”
“She’s unconscious and she’s in a hospital.”
“Oh, God. Here? Can I go to her? How badly is she hurt?”
“Not here. A town called Goldsboro. Jeannie is there with her. It happened when she was driving back to New Bern last night … or I guess really early this morning. She was talking to Jeannie on the phone when it happened, and the hospital called her because her number was the last one dialed on Riley’s phone.”
“But how would Jeannie know to call you?”
Celia raked her hands through her hair and sat down on the edge of one of the chairs. “I can’t help it if you’re pissed at me,” she said. “I know you will be, but I don’t care. I had to do it.”
“Do what?” She was scaring her.
“I went to see Riley last night.”
“You … where? How did you find her?”
“I got her address off your phone.”
She remembered hearing Celia rummaging around the living room of their suite last night before she left.
“Please tell me you didn’t tell her.”
Celia looked at her squarely. “I told her everything,” she said.
Jade let out her breath, nearly doubling over as though Celia had hit her in the gut. She sat down on the corner of the bed.
“How could you hurt her like that?” she shouted. In a single blow, Celia had destroyed the protective wall she’d worked so hard to build around her daughter. “I spent my whole life preventing her from ever finding out. How could you do that to her? How could you do that to me?”
“I had to, Jade!”
Jade shook her head in disbelief. “I thought you were the one person I could trust with the truth,” she said.