When the fourth day came, we were more than ready for our adventure. Miaka and Elizabeth were just excited to be trying something new. I was happy as well, but for a completely different reason. I was risking a lot, I knew that, but I was prepared for death at this point if I somehow slipped up.
I called this sentence a “half life” because I knew it didn’t belong to me. For nearly a year now I’d been living less than half of that half. I had to do more than just survive. If She took me for doing this, I was at peace with it. My only hope was, if She did discover me, Akinli would be spared. And that my sisters, unaware of where I was truly going, would not be punished.
Getting on the ship caused a scene. We showed up to the port in a rented limo and stepped out of the car in our designer clothes carrying designer bags to a mass of awed faces. We had gone through some labor this morning to make sure we all looked captivating and with the general aura our arrival projected, the trip was starting out even better than I’d hoped. Some people even took our picture. Without even having to ask, someone took our luggage to the ship immediately. Not speaking wasn’t a problem; when you’re rich, people don’t expect to deserve your words.
Eyes gazed and heads turned as we passed. Everyone wondered who we were. Rich, obviously. Maybe famous somehow. We couldn’t be related, at least not to Miaka, but were we in some special group together? No one knew what to make of us. It was this initial sighting that made us the toasts of the rest of the cruise. We were adored for nothing more than showing up and looking beautiful.
Our rooms were three large adjoining suites. It allowed us to have some privacy if we wanted it, but mostly we just left the doors open and ran in and out as we pleased. We jumped on the beds and ate delicious food for the sole purpose of enjoying the flavors.
We took to the pool on the most populated deck together. Miaka had chosen decidedly microscopic bathing suits. I remembered how I was afraid to show my body to Akinli. These men that gawked didn’t matter. Their stares meant nothing to me. I was a woman who was out of their reach, and I barely registered their attention. Elizabeth, however, was enjoying having all the men, both single and attached, eyeing her up and down.
“Look at that one!” she signed to me on the deck.
“Not interested,” I signed back.
“Since we’re breaking rules, do you think I could manage to get one alone?”
My insides froze. If it had been love and not lust, I would have understood. But I knew her better. And if she made a mistake, I’d be the one who paid for it. She might get punished, sure, but I would miss seeing Akinli. I’d hurt her myself before that happened.
“Let’s not push our luck for now,” I replied.
She let out a long, breathy sigh.
Before we headed to dinner the first night, I told the girls that if we were ever offered lobster, we should take it. I felt like I must have been the only person in the world who hadn’t had it when Akinli asked me on the boat that day, but it turns out Miaka and Elizabeth had also missed out. So when it was an option as an entree on the third night, we all ordered it. They loved it. It was still average in the food department as far as I was concerned, but the taste took me to another place. Savoring the pieces of meat on my tongue, I remembered the smell of the port, my little blue notebook on the wooden table, the mischievous look on Akinli’s face when they brought out my birthday cake. I couldn’t help but smile. They would assume it was a reaction to the delicious meal. Later Miaka asked when I became such a big fan of lobster.
“Somewhere along the way,” I said.
I wished I could tell Akinli I was spreading the news about his favorite food. I wondered idly all night where my dinner had come from, if there was a chance his hands had touched it.
With his presence slowly coming closer to me, I was more and more at ease. No one was going to stand in my way now. This security allowed me to pull my mind away from Akinli long enough to enjoy my sisters. I was aware that if I made a mistake, this might be my last time to truly talk to them.
The thought of losing them in the same abrupt way we lost Ifama shook my resolve. I wouldn’t want for them to know or see if that’s what it came to. I wondered if it could be helped. The Ocean never told me exactly how Amelia met her ends. It sounded like Amelia died in the chase somehow, alone. But what if that wasn’t the case? What if the Ocean took Amelia back to the rest and killed her in front of her sisters, flexing Her power? What if She made me an example for the ever-wandering Elizabeth and Miaka?
Elizabeth, always the rebel, would probably only become violent at that. Miaka, who may be tougher than she used to be, would remember Ifama, and it would all but break her. Aisling would probably yawn.
I pulled away from those thoughts. If I let them linger too much, I might wimp out. And this was too important to be shaken. I calmed myself and reveled in my last promised days with my sisters.
“Elizabeth, do you remember when you flashed all those guys at that concert in Australia?” I asked her as we huddled in our room on the last night of the cruise.
“Oh my gosh, I thought we were going to get mobbed!” she exclaimed.
“You have a strange effect on men,” Miaka noted.
“I can’t help it if I’m beautiful. It’s so funny, I spent so much time trying to be better than the men around me. I had to be smarter and braver and stronger. I’m not saying that doesn’t matter to me now, but I’m surprised at how they crumble at the sight of breasts. It’s ridiculous. I had the best weapon ever in my arsenal all along!” she said.
I laughed out loud. Only Elizabeth! “What’s your favorite memory, Miaka?” I asked.
“What? From all this time?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… I don’t know. There are so many. I liked seeing Antarctica; I’m glad we did that. But with you… probably those first few years together. When I got to tell you all about my culture and you told me all about yours. Remember when I made you sing me every Christmas carol you knew? I had no idea what they were! It was so fun. I knew that I was getting a peek at a whole new world, but having you made it personal. It made it special.
“With Elizabeth though… hmmm. Oh! I really like the time you let me paint you.”
“You painted a picture of Elizabeth?” I asked. I was surprised. She never offered to do one of me, and I thought I would have seen the one of Elizabeth.
“No, no. I didn’t paint a picture of her. I painted her. Like her body,” she explained.
“She painted flowers all over me. I wish I had a picture— it was so pretty. Some of Miaka’s finest work,” Elizabeth shared, grinning at our tiniest sister.
“I wish I had seen that. It sounds amazing!” I was suddenly aware I hadn’t only wasted my time by not excelling at anything, I had also wasted my chance to be a good sister, to know them as well as I could have.
“Oh, Kahlen, remember that first time you went streaking on that beach in Brazil?” Elizabeth asked.
“I don’t know how you talked me into that!”
“Me either. It took you forever to make up your mind,” she complained.
“I can’t help it; I’m modest. It’s a product of my upbringing.” I sighed.
We went on and on like that for hours. We remembered our collected years of escapades. I felt bad for a moment that Aisling wasn’t in any of them. But then I reminded myself that her solitude was her choice. And, if what I was about to do hurt my sisters, it would be the choice I would wish I had made as well.
As the sun rose on the last day of our voyage, we could see the port come into view. We packed together. Some of the clothes were too bulky to try to repack, so we “forgot” them under blankets and behind chairs for the maids to find. We were faster than we meant to be, so we had some extra time. We decided to just rest on the bed and laid there simply holding hands. I worried that I would lose this. Akinli was absolutely wor
th it, but it was still sad.
“Miaka, Elizabeth… I want you to know how much I have loved being your sister. Both of you have made me a better person simply by existing. I should have told you that before. I know I haven’t done much to show it lately, but I really do appreciate you. I love you both. You’ve made this time of my life so amazing. It would have been unbearable without you.
“When the time comes that I can’t remember you, I want you to know that you have made all the time up until then valuable. That’s all,” I said to them. If I had to die, I wouldn’t get a real good-bye. This was the best I could do.
“That’s still years away,” Miaka murmured. “We have so many more adventures to have together.” Her face looked concerned. I was being a little more sentimental than usual. I wondered if she caught onto more than I meant to share. I needed to draw back.
“That’s true. I just don’t know if I’d ever said that to you. I wanted you to know.”
“Don’t be silly. You love me, I love you. You love Miaka, she loves you. I love Miaka, she loves me. That’s just how it is. We knew,” Elizabeth summarized.
“Good,” I said. I smiled at her.
I decided to do the checking in at the hotel. Claiming to be recovering from a throat surgery, I wrote out my instructions to the attendant at the desk. Kindly, he phrased most of his questions into something easily answered with a nod or a shake of my head. Once I had our keys, I got my sisters from the far corner of the lobby and went upstairs. The room was one large suite with multiple bedrooms. It was reserved for important visitors or guests with wealth. Money may not make life better, but it did make it easier.
This privacy was just what we needed. Miaka and Elizabeth had spent their time in the lobby grabbing every possible brochure for any sort of excursion we could take. We gasped at how much people were willing to pay to swim with dolphins. We did that regularly for free. We took the brochures and spread them across the floor. Folding and unfolding, reexamining photos, trying to decide what day to spend where. It was fun work.
The plan was to get started in the morning. Everything opened early, but we had no problems getting anywhere by a certain time. This, however, was not soon enough for Miaka and Elizabeth; they wanted to play tonight. So they started getting dressed to head out to a club. I had been banking on such a moment presenting itself.
“Don’t you want to come?” Elizabeth asked for the third or fourth time.
“No. I just want to relax. I think I might indulge in a little sleep,” I replied. I stretched my body, and as I did so, the idea sounded completely inviting. Any sort of rest would have to wait.
“You and your sleep,” Elizabeth sighed.
“Hush up! You two go and have fun. Have some extra fun for me!” I said.
“That won’t be a problem,” she replied with a smile. No doubts there. Elizabeth could have five peoples’ worth of fun. I watched them dress. Every girl in the room was going to be dripping with envy. They were absolutely stunning. As they stepped towards the door, I drank in their beauty.
“Miaka. Elizabeth,” I called, just before they opened the door.
They paused.
“You both look gorgeous.”
They both smiled.
“Thanks,” Elizabeth said.
“Thank you,” Miaka echoed.
“Bye, girls!” I said. “Love you!” And with that they silently stepped out into the night.
I moved fast. I grabbed a small bag— one of the less noticeable ones. I started packing clothes into it, sensible clothes for traveling. I wasn’t sure if I’d need any of that, but just in case. I grabbed the notes and maps I had hidden from my sisters. It was fifteen hundred miles from Orlando to Port Clyde. That was twenty-four hours of straight driving. Thank God I didn’t need sleep. I wanted to sleep now, my heart aching to have Akinli’s face in my mind. But I bargained with myself— if I stayed awake, I could have the actual man in sight within a day. That temptation won over my desire to dream, and I continued to move.
I found my reservation for the rental car and hoped it wasn’t too late to go and get it. I got all the money I had and tucked it into the bag. That was it. Everything I needed.
Time to tie up loose ends.
Dear Miaka and Elizabeth,
I had something I needed to take care of. Don’t worry! I’m just fine. Stay here and have fun, and I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ve left the boarding passes for our lovely little cruise back to France. If I’m not back in time, go ahead without me. I’ll find another way back. Keep our secret! I really think we can do this. Ok. I love you girls. See you soon!
Love, Kahlen
That sounded as breezy as I could manage. I hoped it didn’t seem too secretive. Maybe they would assume I had another surprise for them. If I could manage to find one worth bringing back, I would.
I left the letter and the boarding passes on the bed and walked out of the door with Akinli’s face in my mind.
CHAPTER 15
Getting to my rental car was a little more difficult than I had imagined. The clerk was nice to me because I was attractive, but seemed annoyed that I had to resort to pen and paper for everything. I hadn’t thought it would be so hard. This kid was killing my momentum. For goodness sake, I had to get out before my sisters came back! My writing became messy in my desire to leave. Finally, after all the stupid paperwork was done, I left excited.
It took me more labor to get behind the wheel of a car than it actually took to get into the country. Interesting.
Driving wasn’t something I got to do very often, so it took me a while to go as straight as I needed to. I didn’t typically depend on other means of transportation— swimming was second nature for me— and I was irritated with the slowness of motorized vehicles. If I could go by Sea, I would be with Akinli almost immediately, but by car the miles stretched on and on.
Thank goodness I only had to trek up half of Florida. Such a long state. I drove through the South, not seeing much of it by night. I did get a few stares from some truckers in South Carolina when I stopped for gas. It was midsummer after all, and I was covered from head to toe. The sun rose as I entered Virginia and kept crawling up the sky as I went further north. I ticked the states off as I passed: Florida… North Carolina… Delaware… Connecticut… and, finally, Maine.
I felt a strange warmth in my body when I realized I recognized my surroundings. I thought I was going to explode with anticipation. I couldn’t help but wonder over everything. How did Akinli look? How long was his hair? Did he ever go back to school? Were Ben and Julie married yet? Did Casey somehow manage to get mauled by a bear?
I could only hope.
As I saw the sign for the village, the one that used to give me hope, I got nervous. What was I doing here? What did I hope to find? If Akinli was still doing well, what would that do for me? And, if he wasn’t, what could I do for him? What was I hoping to accomplish? There were no reasonable answers. Whatever I thought I would achieve, I was going to fail.
As the town limits came into view, I felt it for sure: I was making a mistake. I would suffer for it, but I had to go make it.
I had come this far. I was going to see his face.
I left the car and my bag in the parking lot by the cement barrier we had once hopped. Through the windshield, I could see the little stretch of sand where Akinli laid above me, kissing me until I thought I would faint. It had been nearly a year, but the memory of his rough hands twisted in my hair felt so real that I had to lift my hand to my neck to make sure they weren’t really there.
I shook the thoughts from my head and stepped out of the car. It would be easier to go on foot. I took any proof of my stolen identity with me though. I thought that was best. It was still dark out— a little more than twenty-four hours after I had left the girls. I hoped they weren’t angry. With the darkness as my ally, I crept quietly into t
he woods. He rescued me in the middle of the night once, so I was afraid I might pass him on the street. The Ocean could not know, so the trees were my only option. I knew where I wanted to go. I could see the way to the house in my head.
That house was my home. A sudden horror struck me: Would it still be their home? So much can happen in a year.
It was a strange impulse. I had to keep going, even if only to discover he was gone. I knew this venture could make me even more unhappy, but I just had to see.
I loved him.
There wasn’t a thing to be done to change that. I just loved Akinli. And I was prepared to risk my life just to look at his empty house. And maybe, if there was any luck left for me in this world, I could see him, too. It was all I could have: glimpses from a distance. And I would take them at almost any price.
Though my body was strong and unbreakable, I didn’t exactly have night vision. So I stumbled through the woods on my way to the house. My sense of direction was imperfect as well, but it was like the house itself had a magnet in it that drew me closer. I ached at how slowly I moved, but I felt like I was taking more action than I did when I was driving. At least I was showing the effort.
Then the trees parted, and I saw it. My house. It looked beautiful. It’s such an average sight to anyone who might pass it, but it looked like a kingdom to me.
I had my first sign of hope when I looked towards the garage. The garage itself wasn’t used for cars. I knew that. It was full of odds and ends in storage bins all piled up next to Ben’s guitar, keyboard, and drum kit that he kept “just in case” he ever broke into the music scene. So Ben’s smelly car was there, parked in the driveway. They were still here. And then, like the shining prize she was, Bessie was on her kickstand at the side of the house. If Bessie was there, then he was there, too.
I should have worn a watch; I was completely oblivious to the time. It was a flaw in the plan. I would have to depend on the sun to know what they would do.