One of them deposited several coins into the tampon machine on the wall and turned the knob. “Boy, it’s just my luck to start tonight. Now I’ll be bloated and cramping all evening.”
“Well, at least you caught it before it ruined your dress,” her friend replied.
Idly, I did some mental calculations. It seemed like it had been quite a while since I’d had my monthly. Hadn’t it been due the day I’d talked to my father about Nick? But that was a little over two weeks ago, and I was never late. Slowly, I lowered the hand holding the paper towel and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
Nick hadn’t left me alone after all, I thought, stunned. I was pregnant. His child was growing inside me. A slow-building excitement gripped me. I was going to have Nick’s baby, a baby that would be mine forever, a part of him no could take away.
Dazed, I wandered out of the restroom and sat down on the first chair I came to. I don’t know how long I was there before Hugh found me. When he waved a hand in front of me, I blinked, then focused on his face. Oh, God. I’d forgotten about Hugh.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes, but we need to talk.” It was way past time to put this charade to an end. I didn’t want to hurt him, but he would know the truth soon anyway. Everyone would know, I realized. My chin went up. Well, they could think what they wanted, but they better not let me hear any of their gossip. No one was going to treat our child the way people had treated Nick.
Hugh took my hand and helped me stand. “Where do you want to talk?”
“Outside.”
The night air was much warmer than the ballroom had been, but I wasn’t hot anymore. I felt better than I had since Nick left. I had a reason to go on now.
We walked to Hugh’s car in silence and leaned against the side. It was beautiful out, the moon big and full. I glanced at Hugh, trying not to remember a similar night, a rusty pickup, a dirt-covered country road, and a fifteen-year-old boy.
“We can’t keep going like this, Hugh,” I told him softly. “You don’t love me. Both of us have been letting our parents push us along. We should have stopped it a long time ago.”
He was staring down at the ground, hands tucked into his pockets. “Why now?”
I took a deep breath and faced him. “Because now I’m pregnant. Everyone will know it soon.”
His gaze lifted, his face expressionless as he studied me. “Is it Nick’s?”
“You knew about us?”
A wry smile turned up the corners of his lips. “Yeah. I saw the way you looked at each other that night at the gas station.”
“I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”
He shrugged. “I guess I kept hoping things would change. Can you reach him, let him know?”
“No.” I turned away. I’d already tried to find out where he was stationed, but the sheriff was the only one who knew where Nick had been sent and he wasn’t talking. “He made it pretty clear he wasn’t coming back and told me to forget about him.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe leave town. I can’t put my family through this again. It would kill them. But I won’t give up my baby either.”
“How far along are you?”
“About a month, I think.” I wasn’t sure why he wanted to know, but I owed him the answers to any question he asked.
It got quiet again, the only sound coming from the traffic out on the highway.
“You’re wrong about one thing, you know,” Hugh said finally. “It might not be the kind of grand, world stopping passion you want, but I do love you. I have since we were kids.” Slowly, he pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened it. In his palm rested a blue velvet box, and my eyes filled with tears when he showed me the sparkling diamond ring inside.
“I was going to do this later, but there’s no sense in waiting.”
“Hugh...” My tears spilled over and ran freely down my cheeks.
“Please, let me finish.” He took a deep breath. “You need a husband and the baby will need a father. I’m asking you to let me be both. Alix, will you do me the honor of agreeing to be my wife?”
I couldn’t believe this was happening. “But the baby isn’t yours,” I stuttered.
“It will be if you let it.” He shrugged. “And everyone will think it is, anyway. Let them think it, Alix. I swear, I’ll love it like it was mine.” He wiped the tears from my cheek. “Think about it. We can get married tonight and no would ever have to know the truth. Your family won’t be disgraced, you wouldn’t have to leave, and the baby will never have people looking down on it. We can even have the justice of the peace backdate the marriage certificate so everyone will think we were married secretly months ago.”
“A J.P. would do that?”
This time his smile was full-fledged. “I know one who will. My family spends a lot of money on his campaigns.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you care about me at all, Alix?”
“Of course I do. You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”
He nodded. “Then say yes. We can make this work.”
Maybe I was in shock, or maybe I was simply a coward, but what he was offering was more than I was capable of refusing right then. Respectability for myself and my child, a loving, safe home to raise it in, and someone who honestly cared about me. If I’d had a week or two to think about it, my answer might have been different, but I didn’t have that long. Hugh was waiting and I couldn’t hurt him again.
“Yes,” I whispered, trembling as he slid the diamond on my finger.
The justice of the peace never batted an eye when we showed up on his doorstep. He merely complied with Hugh’s request, accepted an undisclosed amount of money, and told us to bring him copies of our birth certificates next week. All the forms were filled out and the ceremony performed in his den with his wife and housekeeper as witnesses. According to our marriage license, we had been married since February second.
Back in the car, I turned to my new husband. “Now what?”
“Now, we go pick up something to eat, and then I’ve got a surprise for you.”
He went to the drive-through window of a fast food joint and ordered burgers and fries for both of us, a soda for him and milk for me. When the food arrived, he put the car in gear, heading back toward Morganville. Just outside of town, he turned right and I stared at him in surprise. The road he’d turned onto led to Fair Oaks, the new subdivision.
“Hugh, what are you doing?”
“You’ll see.” He steered the car into a long, sweeping driveway that ended at a darkened house. One of the newest, I realized. It was long and sprawling, with curving flower beds along the front, empty now, but waiting for someone to fill them.
“What do you think?” He waved a hand at the house.
“I think it’s beautiful, but won’t we get in trouble for being here?”
“No, it’s ours. We closed on it last week. All you and I have to do is buy some furniture and move in.” He opened the car door and gathered up the food. “Come on, Mrs. Morgan. Lets go look at our new home and do some talking.”
And that’s what we did. Hugh took me on a tour of the house that lasted half an hour. It was undoubtedly a dream home, even if it wasn’t exactly what I would have chosen for myself. Wide open spaces graced with huge floor-to-ceiling windows made the rooms flow into each other. The kitchen was an ultra-modern fantasy come true, and there was even a swimming pool and hot tub on the patio behind the house.
After the tour was completed we sat on the floor in the dining room, facing each other as we ate and talked. I can’t say I was happy, but being honest with Hugh had brought such relief that combined with my knowledge of the baby, I was almost euphoric. After all the past months of pretending, I could finally be myself with him again. Together, we got our stories straight and decided we’d tell our parents Monday night after the graduation ceremony. Our marriage was going to cause enough cha
os. The news about the baby would have to wait another month.
It felt good to laugh with Hugh like we’d done when were children, and it gradually began to dawn on me that if it hadn’t been for Nick, I would probably have fallen in love with Hugh, would have married him happily. Was it possible fate was righting itself? I didn’t know. I only knew that I intended to work as hard as I could to make Hugh happy. He deserved no less.
It never occurred to me that night that Hugh and I would have to share a bed, and if it occurred to him, he didn’t mention it. We talked until the sun began to peek over the horizon, and then he took me home, walking me to the door and kissing me goodnight just like he’d always done.
“I’m sorry, Nick,” I whispered, slipping his pendant from my neck. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
CHAPTER TEN
Resentment is a funny thing. It can sneak up on you for some of the craziest reasons. I suppose its human nature, our way of protecting ourselves emotionally. I’d read enough to know that one of the symptoms of grief was a deep anger at the loved one who’d died, anger that impaired your judgment, made you want to scream and curse because they’d left you. But Nick hadn’t died, and I didn’t realize that I was suffering the symptoms of grief.
Over the weekend it gradually soaked in that I’d married Hugh, that even if Nick showed up at that very second it would be too late. And as I began to think about that day at the police station, I started to believe a lie. Maybe I had to believe it in order to keep going, to put one foot in front of the other as Aunt Jane had said I must.
Because there was no real reason for Nick and me to be apart. He knew, and I knew, that I would have followed him happily to the ends of the earth and back. But he hadn’t wanted me. The more I thought about it, the deeper my sense of resentment became. It turned into a slow, simmering anger that colored everything I did.
Graduation day dawned bright and sunny, the sky a deep cerulean blue with fluffy cotton-ball clouds decorating the heavens. The temperatures were already hitting the nineties during the day. I spent most of Saturday sleeping after the all-nighter Hugh and I had pulled. Sunday, Hugh spent the day with us, and we practiced our graduation speeches on each other. When I asked him where he’d been the day before, he smiled mysteriously and told me, “Making plans for Monday night.”
I slipped him a copy of my birth certificate so he could take it to the justice of the peace the next day. He gave it back to me Monday when he arrived, and I returned it to Mama’s drawer with no one the wiser.
The ceremony that night went off without a hitch, my family and Hugh’s applauding wildly after our speeches, and again when we were called to receive our diplomas. Afterward, we spent a tearful thirty minutes saying goodbye to our classmates who were leaving, promising to stay in touch. And once again, a sense of unreality descended on me. I’d always envisioned this day with Nick sitting beside my family on the bleachers, smiling down at me proudly. But he’d made it clear he didn’t want me, and I convinced myself he wouldn’t want the baby either.
It’s okay, I promised silently, one hand on my stomach. I want you. We’ll always have each other.
Ian and Helena invited my whole family out to eat at the country club after the ceremony, and I managed to talk Jenna into coming along. I knew her father well enough to understand his idea of a celebration was to park himself in front of the TV for the evening with lots of beer on hand. Besides, I wanted her with me when Hugh and I broke the news.
We were a noisy bunch that evening as we found our places around the linen covered table. Several different conversations were going on at once, everyone laughing and talking. Hugh had asked me to put my rings on during the drive over, and my stomach was in a knot waiting for someone to notice them. So far, it hadn’t happened, and I tried to keep them hidden under the edge of the table.
My father inadvertently brought on the announcement. He had positioned himself beside my mother, directly across the table from Hugh and me, and the way it happened, I would have sworn he and Hugh arranged it beforehand.
“So, Hugh. Are you going to start work right away, or take a few days off first?” Daddy was surveying the menu when he asked the question.
Hugh casually draped his arm across my shoulders. “I’m going to be taking a few weeks off.”
From the end of the table, Ian’s head came up. “I thought you were going to start tomorrow?”
“No, there are a few more important things I have to take care of first.”
Both Ian and Helena frowned, and Ian carefully put his menu down on the table. “What could be more important than the business?”
Hugh glanced at me and smiled. “A honeymoon. We’re leaving later tonight.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out an airline folder. Stunned, I took it and glanced at the destination. Hawaii. “I promised Alix we’d go as soon as school was over.”
You could have heard a pin drop from fifty feet away, it got so quiet.
“A honeymoon?” my mother said weakly, one hand covering her heart as she stared at my rings. “You’re already married?”
My stomach knotted at her expression, and regret filled me. I knew how much she’d wanted me to have the big wedding she had never had. “I’m sorry, Mama. We wanted to tell you, but you were so busy planning everything we didn’t have the heart.”
“But, when?” Helena stammered.
“February second,” Hugh told her. “We didn’t really want a big wedding, and we didn’t want to wait.”
My father was staring at me as if I’d suddenly developed huge purple spots all over my face, and there was no doubt he’d demand an explanation the first chance he got. He knew only too well how I felt about Nick, and he wasn’t buying the elopement story for a second.
For that matter, neither was Jenna. To my surprise, her blue eyes were swimming with tears when I glanced at her. Before I could say anything, she jumped to her feet, mumbled an “excuse me,” and darted toward the bathroom.
Hastily, I shoved my chair back and went after her. She was locked in a stall when I got there. I checked to make sure we were alone.
“Jenna, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
There was the sound of toilet paper tearing away from the roll and a sniff, but no answer.
“Please, I know you’re upset with me, but can’t you be happy for us?”
“Happy?” She half-laughed, half-choked the word out. “Does Hugh know its Nick you love?”
“He knows,” I said quietly. “He knows everything.”
There was the click of a lock turning and the stall door opened. Jenna faced me. “Are you really married?”
“Yes. We got married prom night.”
“But why? Why did you marry him when you don’t love him?”
I took a deep breath and checked the room once more. “I’m pregnant. Hugh and I had a long talk and I told him the truth about everything. He wanted to marry me anyway, Jenna. He even wants the baby.”
Her face whitened as she stared at me. “You’re using him to give Nick’s bastard a name.”
I stiffened as equal measures of pain and anger ripped through me. I might expect that sort of reaction from people who didn’t know me well, but not from my best friend.
“Yes, Jenna. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I set the entire thing up to trap Hugh. And since you so obviously disapprove, don’t feel obligated to continue the pretense of being my friend.” I turned and marched out of the bathroom, my head held high.
Mama, Aunt Darla, and Helena had their heads together, excitedly making plans for a big reception to announce our marriage when I slid into my chair. Hugh arched an eyebrow at me.
“Where’s Jenna?”
“She wasn’t feeling well. I think she went home.”
I sat numbly through the rest of the meal, letting Hugh handle our respective families. He managed to convince them not to schedule the party for another few weeks, and insisted that he and I preferred picking out our own furnitu
re when it appeared the families were going to take over that area, too.
Afterward, we barely had enough time to run home and throw some clothes in a suitcase. I was happy I’d avoided Daddy for a while. I didn’t think I could stand another scene like the one with Jenna. Not right now.
Mama dug out a bag of rice while I was packing, and when we left, they pelted us with the white grains. Everyone got hugged and Mama cried a little, and the Judge squeezed me a bit tighter than normal, his eyes damp. When Daddy hugged me I promised him quietly we’d talk when I got back and told him not to worry.
Once in Hugh’s car, I relaxed a little. “I think they bought it.” I shifted to look at him. “When did you come up with the idea of the trip?”
“Saturday.” He smiled and closed his fingers around my hand. “I figured it would give them a week to calm down and get used to the idea without driving us crazy. I hope Hawaii is okay with you?”
“It sounds wonderful. I’ve never been out of the state before.”
“We went a few times for vacations. It’s a beautiful place.” He glanced at me again. “Are you going to tell me what really happened with Jenna?”
I sighed. “She said I only married you to give Nick’s bastard a name.”
His hand tightened on mine. “I’m sorry. You two have been friends for a long time. She was probably hurt because you didn’t tell her sooner. I’m sure she’ll come around when she has time to think about it.”
“Maybe.” I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive her, though. Calling me names was one thing. Calling my baby a bastard was something I couldn’t and wouldn’t tolerate.
The airport at Jonesboro was a small one, mostly flying commuter planes to bigger cities like Little Rock and Memphis. Ours went to Memphis, where we caught a jet for the islands after a short delay.
We were somewhere over the ocean, Hugh dozing beside me, when it finally hit me exactly what a honeymoon was for. Dear Lord, Hugh wasn’t simply my friend anymore, he was my husband and this was no game we were playing. For better or worse, we were married and that gave him the right to make love to me.