The last day had been the most wonderful in her life. And it was all because of Karl, who had just raced away to assist a young man from third class he seemed to know. It was exciting to see him take charge that way, as if he was born to it or had been doing it for many years. And yet he was so young. No matter what he said about being older than he looked, she knew that he could not be more than in his mid-twenties – too young to wield such authority.
She compared the man who had just left with the youth who had kissed her on the deck yesterday afternoon. They were worlds apart. That Karl had been unsure of himself, overcome by emotions he did not know how to handle. The kiss had sizzled right down to her toes, but not because it was confident or skilled.
In her younger years before her parent’s death, she had been kissed aplenty by boys in her town and at college. Those kisses had been sweet and ranged from amateur to highly skilled. On the other hand, the kisses Peabody had forced on her had been anything but sweet. She shuddered at that memory and forced it away.
Karl’s kiss had been inexperienced but overwhelming. It had threatened to send her over some unknown cliff edge into a place that felt both unsafe yet enticing. However, the deeper into that kiss she’d gone, the more insistent the memory of Peabody became, until she’d recoiled from Karl as if he were that other man.
And she’d hurt her new friend, more than he would admit.
For the rest of the evening, he’d been on his best behaviour, shepherding her around and taking her to dinner. They’d even walked along the Boat Deck as the sun set over the Channel and the Titanic slipped slowly into Cherbourg to begin the process of unloading and reloading passengers and cargo once more. It had been so romantic standing up there with him warmly pressed against her side, the sun a golden ball sinking into the molten sea in front of them. Yet he made no move to repeat his embrace or kiss. It was as if her rejection had forced him down another track in their budding relationship; a track that she didn’t want.
What did she want? Love and marriage? How could she even think of it with another man’s illegitimate child inside her? He’d be repulsed if she were to tell Karl what really happened. He’d blame her or, at the very least, see her as defiled. Even so, if she didn’t tell him how could she enter into an honest relationship with him with such a lie between them? He deserved better than that. He deserved better than her.
Earlier that morning when she was trying to sort out her worries in her mind, she had gone to the library on C Deck to sit quietly over a book. While she was there, she’d met two young American women called Felicity Carmichael and Rose Travers. They were married ladies who, it transpired, were also with child. But unlike her, they each had a loving husband who was the father of their soon-to-be offspring.
They had shared a happy hour chatting in the library until a disgruntled reader lost patience with them and asked them to be quiet. The girls had taken their leave then so Lizzie could continue her reading, and she had hopes of meeting up with them again. It was amazing how many women she had met who shared her condition. Of course, in terms of the number of people on the ship, there was probably nothing abnormal in it. Nevertheless, to her it felt like she was drawing pregnant women to her like flies.
Over lunch, she had mentioned the women to Karl and he had seemed interested to meet them. For some reason, he was fascinated by motherhood. She wondered if her condition was the only thing he found interesting about her. But no, that would be selling him short and that was unfair. Karl liked her, she was sure of that. And he genuinely seemed to enjoy her company, pregnant or not.
Gertie, or Trudy as she preferred to be called, had been at each of their meals, and the more Lizzie saw of her husband, the more she disliked him. Trudy seemed to be a pleasant young woman who deserved better than that overbearing bully of a man. Unfortunately, unless Karl had some mysterious way to lure her away from the oaf, she could see no other future for the girl.
Now, too restless to relax, although she was exhausted from her sleepless night with her snoring and complaining roommate, she had gone back up to the library in search of a quiet place to sit. She had barely seated herself when Karl came into the room, his eyes searching the space until they found her. Once he'd caught sight of her, he beamed and hurried over.
However, before they had a chance to greet each other, the American women, dressed in pale summery dresses, also entered the library and came toward her. It seemed the perfect opportunity to introduce them all.
‘Mrs Jones,’ called Felicity, the younger of the two women. ‘We were looking for you and hoping to convince you to join us for tea.’
Lizzie smiled her pleasure as she rose slowly from her place and took Karl’s arm. She led him the short distance to meet her two new friends.
‘I would love to, as long as you would welcome my friend, Mr Langman, too. Karl, this is Mrs Carmichael and Mrs Travers. They are both returning to America for their laying-in because their husbands think it safer. Ladies, Mr Langman is a doctor who has just now been down to assist a young boy who was beaten badly by bullies. How is the boy, Karl?’
The two women were instantly interested and concerned.
‘Oh, Bart is a bantam rooster. He is down, but he is by no means out. A cracked rib, missing tooth and some bruised internal organs.’
‘Oh, the poor lad. How old is he?’ asked Rose, the short, plump one.
‘He is nearly eleven but small for his age. He has a penchant for taking on opponents twice his size. Usually he wins. Unfortunately, that was not the case this time, as his opponent had two assistants who held Bart while he did his worst. If one of the waiters from the first class restaurant had not been passing and put a stop to it, it would have been far worse.’
‘I wouldn’t have expected that kind of to-do in second class,' Felicity commented frowning.
‘It was in third, actually.’
‘You went down into third? But that is not done, is it? I was told that if we passed into third for any reason, we would have to undergo a thorough health inspection once we arrived home. They can carry diseases you know.’ Felicity's frown increased. She was the tall thin one with metal-framed glasses that sat on the end of her freckled nose.
‘Disease, if it were on board, would know no class barriers, I do assure you, ladies.’
‘How do you know the lad?’ Lizzie asked. ‘When the waiter told you his name you were quite concerned.’
‘He is the son of a friend of mine.’
‘You have friends in third class?’ Rose asked in surprise.
‘You have spent too much time in Europe, dear lady. In the Americas, there is supposed to be only equality for all.’ There was a note of censure in his voice.
Lizzie looked at Karl in surprised agreement. Not that she’d ever thought about it much, but she had heard America was free of such artificial divisions and been glad of it.
‘You are right, of course, sir. But there is a natural division between men, is there not? You are a physician and would naturally gravitate to those in your field. What would you have in common with labourers and such? Those people in the third class on this ship?’ Rose asked.
‘You would be surprised, Mrs Travers, you would be surprised. Can I escort you all to tea?’
With little titters of assent, the two young women joined Lizzie and Karl around the tables that had been set up especially for afternoon tea.
Once settled with their cups and a large plate of freshly-made iced-biscuits between them, the conversation drifted on to many topics of light conversation. Then Karl mentioned a book he had read and interest sparked immediately.
‘H G Wells’ Time Machine? Why of course I have read it,’ Rose announced with enthusiasm. 'Wells has such a vivid imagination, don’t you think?’
‘Is that the story about the man who travels into the future and back?’ asked Lizzie with interest.
‘Yes, that is it. The hero goes through time, watching the place in which he resides change with the passing years, until he comes to
a time when the world is a violent place filled with monsters,’ Rose volunteered with much delight.
‘Do you think it is possible to travel through time?’ Karl asked them. His tone was light, but Lizzie was getting good at reading his emotions, and there was something here that went deeper than a light chat about a fantastic topic.
‘I think anything is possible. After all, it was not so long ago that man thought the world was flat or that we could not fly. Who is to say that, in some future time, man can do all manner of things, even fly to the moon!’ This was Felicity, her more relaxed tone in stark contrast to Rose’s vivacity.
‘Yes, I do believe you are right.’ Lizzie nodded her head thoughtfully. ‘But I wonder what it would be like, that future world that could invent a time machine.’
‘Better than ours, I would hazard to say,’ Felicity said, languidly. ‘They would have educated every child, fed the starving and stopped war.’
‘But man will still be man. He will always want to wage war or see himself rich while another is poor,’ Lizzie replied sadly.
‘It will take near extinction to change man’s ways,’ Karl said, his voice oddly hollow.
Lizzie glanced at his closed face, wondering what he was thinking and why he had started this strange discussion in the first place.
‘I agree. There is talk of war even now, and our men have not yet recovered from the Boer uprising. We have a lot to learn before a Utopian world is our legacy.’ Felicity frowned again.
‘But it would be exciting to visit other times,’ put in Rose breathlessly. ‘I would like to see Ancient Egypt and the pyramids as they were being built.’
‘Would you like to visit the future too?’ Karl asked Lizzie, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair.
Lizzie was becoming more and more concerned by the direction this conversation was taking. It had become far more than just idle chatter and Karl's edginess was disconcerting. What was going on?
‘Yes and no. What if it were awful there? Like in the book,’ Lizzie hedged.
‘What if it was beautiful and peaceful? And you could choose to follow any life-direction you wanted.’ Karl was staring at her intently now, his eyes burning bright.
Rose cocked her head to the side and smiled. ‘A utopian world? Yes, I would like to go there.’
‘Would you, Lizzie?’ Karl asked, never taking his eyes from hers.
‘Would you be there?’ she asked playfully, trying to ease the tension in the air.
‘Oh, yes, I will be there. At your side, as long as you want me.’ He smiled a gentle smile that seemed to take the strain from his face. But his eyes continued to burn as they held her gaze.
‘Would I get to come back here?’ she asked. She noted that the others were now listening intently.
‘No, because there would be no life here for you once you left. It would appear as if you had died.’
Lizzie thought about this very carefully, considering all she would be leaving behind if she were to go to this make-believe future with Karl.
She would lose her brother and his new family. But she felt as if she lost her brother many years ago. Reuniting with him now was just the only doorway that had opened for her. What if there was another doorway, one that had Karl in it?
‘Yes, I would like to go to that utopian future world, even if I had to leave everything here behind.’
Karl smiled at her approvingly and reached across to squeeze her fingers with his own. ‘I am glad. Really glad.’
‘I would like to go, but I have my husband and family to consider,’ Rose said, sighing deeply.
‘What if it were the only choice? What if… say… this ship was about to sink and you knew you were going to drown and the only choice was to travel to a new life in another time?’
‘Oh, now I know we are in the realm of fantasy,’ said Felicity with a sniff. ‘As if the Titanic could sink. Better to say there was a fire on the New York docks on our arrival.’
‘All right,’ Karl allowed, smiling at Felicity indulgently. ‘Whatever catastrophe you like. However, this man from the future knows it will happen and offers you a way out, a way to survive. Do you take it?’
‘Of course, that is too easy a choice. If it were death or a new life in utopia, then of course I would choose a new life. Anyone would.’
‘Not anyone. For some, losing everything that they loved would be worse than death.’
‘I have my baby to consider,’ Felicity said very seriously now. ‘I would never choose death, when I would be choosing it for my child as well.’
‘Excellent answer, Mrs Carmichael! So, if the Titanic sinks, I will make sure there is a place in the time machine for you then.’ Karl gave a light laugh, trying to lift the mood.
‘Me too,’ Rose piped up. ‘I want to come too. I think it would be very exciting.’
‘Then your place is booked as well, Mrs Travers. And one for Lizzie. And what about Gertie?’
The women considered this for a moment.
‘I think she would be happy to get away from that awful husband of hers. She would be at the head of the line,’ Felicity said with a cynical laugh.
‘Oh, you are quick to sign his death warrant, aren't you, cruel woman?’ Lizzie joked.
‘If you took him along, he would do nothing but complain. Have you heard him going on about this ship? You would think he was travelling on a tramp steamer rather than the Ship of Dreams.’
‘He thinks we should have the same luxuries as first class and yet not pay for them,’ Rose said with a scowl. ‘My Freddy would have a word or two to him about his ingratitude.’
Lizzie knew that Rose’s husband was a missionary in Africa. That was where she had been until her condition changed. Her husband had then put her on the first steamer north, determined to keep his wife and child safe. She would go home to Pennsylvania until the baby was old enough to survive the many illnesses that ran rampant through the native populations.
‘My Maurice would do more than have a word with him if he spoke so disparagingly to Trudy in front of him. Oliver is a spineless bully who picks on those who are weaker than him. Maurice hates that.’ Felicity dropped her china cup back onto its saucer with a clatter.
‘So, we coax Trudy into coming with us on the time machine then,’ Lizzie said lightly. ‘And leave her husband to make his way the best he can.’
‘Agreed,’ Rose said with a laugh.
Lizzie glanced at Karl out of the corner of her eye. He seemed strangely satisfied by the way the conversation had gone.
After tea was finished and the Americans had decided to go back out on deck, Lizzie took the moment to inquire further about the incident in third class. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed odd that Karl would know these people so well, that they would choose to call him down from the upper decks rather than go to the doctor on board.
‘How do you really know those people in third class? They obviously think highly enough of your medical training to have sent for you over the surgeon. And they knew where to find you.’
Karl turned to look at her intently, as if weighing up possibilities. ‘Let us say, just as a hypothetical, that people in the future could travel through time as we were saying. And that those people knew that this ship was about to sink, taking two-thirds of the people on-board to their death. They might send a team of people back to rescue who they could. They would need to spread their team across the different classes so they wouldn’t miss locating the people they needed to rescue. However, if anything untoward should happen to one of them, they could call on the assistance of another of their team somewhere else on the ship.’
‘Karl,’ she exclaimed with frustration. ‘I do not want to play this game anymore. If you do not wish to tell me how you know those people, that is your right, as I do not want to intrude on your privacy. But at least say so directly…’
Karl leaned over and took her hands in his. He turned them over so he could look at the lines on their palms.
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Running his finger along the lines slowly, he became even more serious. ‘I am not playing a game, Lizzie. Everything we have been discussing here this afternoon is not the realm of fantasy. It is fact. In a few days’ time the Titanic will sink and you will not survive it unless you come with us to the future.’
She pulled her hands away from his and stood up, wishing that her head didn’t become light at such sudden movements. Clutching her brow, she shook her head.
‘Are you delusional? Or are you playing some cruel game with me?’
Her voice was louder than she wanted, and several other ladies finishing up their tea looked over in their direction. She wanted to walk away with her shoulders back proudly, but her legs were so wobbly under her that the best she could manage was a stagger.
Karl was at her side in an instant, supporting her with his warm strength. It took everything she had to draw away from him.
‘Please, let me go. I do not wish to continue this conversation a moment longer. Good day to you, sir.’
She walked out onto the aft promenade and drew in several cleansing breaths. The ship was under a full head of steam now that they had left Queenstown behind them. All she could see was grey ocean and a solid line of the horizon where it met the pale blue sky. It was quite beautiful, she realised. But she couldn’t appreciate it in this moment because it felt as if her heart had just been torn out of her chest.
Karl was a mad man. He thought he came from the future in a time machine and that he was going to whisk her away before she died in some terrible calamity. What had he said first before Felicity pooh-poohed his suggestion? That the Titanic would sink? How absurd a fantasy was that? Everyone knew that the ship they sailed on was the safest in the world. People called it unsinkable. Why would he create such a fabrication when it was so blatantly wrong?
She felt the warm tears trickling down her cold cheeks. He seemed so genuine, so caring and so sane. In the moments she thought they were talking about a future together, she had been happy to consider the idea, even when she had known him for only a few days. Back then, she’d even been hopeful that he might understand the awful thing that had happened to her and not think less of her for it.
However, now that dream was smashed. And she must pick herself up, as she had been forced to do so many times in the last year and a half, and soldier on. Karl had to be put behind her. She only hoped that he would heed her wishes and stay away. She might have to warn the other women about him too.
What if he were dangerous? What if he would not leave her alone and kept on about this crazy idea? Would she need to report him to the Captain? That would be an extreme measure. But she had been the object of one man’s crazy infatuation and she would not be another's. Whatever she had to do to protect herself and her baby, she would.