“You’re drunk.”
“Very. But not as drunk as your Kadar.” He stripped the tunic over Kadar’s head and then bent to slip off his sandals. “Not surprising—it’s clear he’s a man who rarely lets himself overindulge. Those who have purpose usually manage to outdrink me. Your groom had purpose.”
“Take him to his chamber.”
He shook his head. “That would spoil everything. He said there were complications that kept him from your bed.” He rolled Kadar’s naked body in the cover. “Behold, no complications.” He started for the door. “So simple.”
“Wait. You can’t—”
It seemed he could. She was talking to air.
Her gaze shifted to Kadar. He appeared so helpless. She had never seen Kadar drunk. As Vaden had said, Kadar was always wary, always in control. He was certainly not in control now. What was she to do with him? she wondered in exasperation. She had thought long into the night, but she was not ready to face Kadar yet. Particularly not a drunken sot of a Kadar.
Ready or not, he was here and she must accept it. She slipped from bed and crossed, naked, to the window. The first rays of dawn were lighting the sky. She didn’t have to stay here. She could dress, go and sit in the garden, and then come back after Kadar woke. He might even leave before she returned. It had not been his desire to intrude on her. She could stay out of his way until he—
Don’t hide from me.
Was she hiding, as Kadar claimed? The plan to avoid him had come so easily.
Accept what I am.
She wasn’t prepared yet. She had to think, to let the thoughts he’d planted come to fruition.
Trust me.
How she had battled with that question of trust.
Good God, why was she standing here shivering at the thought? She had never been one to cavil at facing anything else. In truth, the decision had already been made.
She turned and strode back to the bed. She stood there looking down at Kadar for a long moment.
Then she slipped into bed beside him to wait until he woke.
Kadar didn’t open his eyes until late afternoon.
Then he immediately closed them. “Good God, my head hurts. . . .”
“It serves you well,” Selene said.
His eyes opened again. “What are—” His gaze wandered from her face to her obviously naked body covered by the blanket. “God in heaven.”
“Go cleanse your mouth. You stink of wine.”
He gingerly sat up and then flinched as he turned his head to look down at her. “What am I doing here?”
“You didn’t come on your own, if that’s your concern. Vaden brought you. He dumped you on my bed like a limp salmon.”
He flinched again as he carefully stood up and moved toward the washbasin. “I hope you didn’t use that comparison to Vaden. I’ve found he has a perverse sense of humor.”
“He didn’t give me a chance to say anything. He seemed to be too full of glee at ridding you of ‘complications’ to bother with anything else.”
“Instead, he’s piled on a mountain more.” He splashed water in his face and then rinsed his mouth. “And I can scarcely wait until I’m myself again so that I can go break his neck.”
“I’d not go that far. I found his directness to be helpful.”
He stopped in midmotion of drying his face. “What?”
Selene drew a deep breath. Don’t hide. Honest. Open. “I believe you heard me. Now, if you can come near me without making me intoxicated from that foul odor, I’d like you to come back to bed.”
He slowly put the towel back on the washstand. “Why?”
“I wish to couple with you.” She moistened her lips. “Though I don’t know why when you saw fit to rob me of my wedding night.”
“Selene.”
“Stop arguing.” Her gaze went to his body. “I’m not blind. I can see you’re ready for me.”
“But are you ready for me?”
He meant the question more than physically. “I think—” She met his gaze and said clearly, “Oh, yes, I know I’m ready for you.”
A brilliant smile lit his face. “I suppose I should ask questions and give you an opportunity to question yourself. It would be the noble thing to do.” He was across the room in three strides and tearing the cover off her. “But I’ve been down that path and I’m not going there ever again.” He parted her thighs and moved between them. “I’ve been noble enough to last me for a lifetime.”
“I never asked you to be—”
She lost speech and breath as he sank deep and the rhythm started. Her arms closed tightly around him.
Accept. Trust. Belong.
Oh, yes, belong . . .
“You performed very well.” Her lips brushed his shoulder. “I admit I had my doubts. I’ve never seen you drunk before.”
“I was inspired.” He lifted himself on one elbow and looked down at her. “And I didn’t perform well, I performed magnificently.”
“Braggart.” She thought about it. “Perhaps the first time.”
“I was even better the third time.”
She smiled slyly. “I was too weary to notice.”
“You wound me.” He brushed the hair back from her face with a gentle hand. “But, it’s true, I did perceive a lack of enthusiasm in you. I thought I’d taught you that a woman must be as skilled as a man in this—” He inhaled sharply. “Will you—please remove—your hand?”
She squeezed. “Actually, a woman doesn’t have to be so skilled. I’ve found you to be responsive to the simplest things.”
“Simple?” He went rigid as her thumbnail caressed him. “If you don’t wish to couple with me again in the next minute, I’d remove your hand.”
She laughed and released him. “Not until I’ve had my supper.” She swung her feet to the floor and stood up. “And afterward I wish a hot bath.” She carelessly draped the length of blue material around her. Layla was right, this garment had many uses. She liked the feel of the softness against her breasts. Her body felt as sleek and silky smooth as the material. “And then I’ll see what other simple things amuse you.”
She could feel his gaze on her as she strolled to the window. Night had fallen hours ago, and the moonlight shimmered on the rectangular pool. So serene. She felt serene too. Only minutes ago she had been lost in the most frenzied of passions, yet now she felt as tranquil as that cool, still pool.
“What are you thinking?” Kadar asked.
“That emotions seldom remain the same for very long.”
“Some emotions do.” He paused. “Love. Hate.”
“Yes, but that’s not the same.” She came back toward him. “And I don’t want to think about hate right now.” She knelt on the floor beside the bed and laid her cheek on his hand. “I do love you, Kadar,” she whispered. “I’ve loved you for so long.” She rubbed her cheek back and forth. She added haltingly, “I thought I could live without you. I thought I’d be fine. I was wrong. I have to be with you.”
“Selene.”
“So you have to take care of yourself,” she said fiercely. “Do you hear me? I won’t have you dying on me.”
“You won’t?” He turned his hand and cradled her cheek in his palm. His voice was uneven. “I’ll try to oblige you.”
“And you have to promise to love me forever.”
“That’s an easy task.” He lifted her chin and gazed directly into her eyes. “I’ll love you until the day I die, Selene.”
“I like these vows far better than the ones we gave the priest,” she said shakily. “I’ll love you until the day I die too, Kadar.”
An indefinable expression flitted over his face for only a second and then was gone. “I thank you.” He bent his head and brushed her lips with his own. “I’ll try not to violate your trust.”
“You’d better not. I’ve just learned the way of it.” She rose to her feet. “But I never do things in small measure. I’ll trust you now no matter what you do.”
“You wil
l?” There was a strange note in his tone. “Are you sure?”
She smiled. “I’m sure.”
“That makes everything much more difficult for me.”
“I’d think it would simplify.” She looked at him from beneath her lashes. “We’ve already established my liking for simplicity.”
He moved his shoulders as if shrugging off a burden. He grinned. “God bless simplicity. Are you sure you need to eat now?”
“No.” The folds of blue silk pooled at her feet. She stepped over it and moved toward him. “We’ve taken our own vows, and they should be celebrated in some way.” She slipped into bed and into his arms. She whispered, “And it need not necessarily be a very simple way. You’re very good at complications.”
“I’ve been patient long enough.” Vaden strode into Selene’s chamber and slammed the door. “Out of bed and into your clothes.”
Kadar sat up and quickly pulled the cover over Selene. “It’s courteous to knock, Vaden.”
“He doesn’t know how,” Selene said sarcastically.
“Would you have answered my knock? Tarik says you haven’t been out of this chamber in two days. Coupling is all very well, but it can’t interfere with the business at hand. Since I was the one who threw you into her bed, I felt obligated to allow you some extra time to enjoy her, Kadar, but I—”
“Allow?” Kadar repeated.
“Don’t be testy. You wanted my services. You have them. I won’t be kept waiting while you pleasure—”
“Get out, Vaden,” Kadar said.
Vaden sat down in a chair. “When you do.”
“Go on, Kadar,” Selene said. “I’ve no desire to lie here while you argue. Besides, perhaps he’s right. Keeping him waiting was discourteous.”
Vaden gave her a brilliant smile. “Thank you. It’s seldom I meet a woman who is both beautiful and just.”
He was the one who was beautiful, and she wondered how many women had melted at that stunning smile. “I’m not beautiful, and I’m not stupid enough to believe such flattery. Take your sweet words out of here while I dress.”
He blinked and then rose to his feet. “As you command.”
Kadar was throwing on his clothes. “Where are Tarik and Layla?”
“On the terrace. They seemed in no hurry to disturb you. Do I detect a hint of reluctance in them?”
“More than a hint, but it won’t affect your fee.”
“Of course it won’t.” He moved leisurely toward the door. “Since I tremble at your lady’s wrath, I’ll wait outside in the hall for you.”
Selene doubted if he had ever trembled in his life and certainly not at any woman’s displeasure. She had never seen a cooler, more confident man.
As soon as he was gone, she said to Kadar, “Don’t wait for me. I wish to cleanse myself. I’ll join you as soon as I’m dressed.”
Kadar nodded. “Though we should really keep Vaden waiting. It’s not good for him to have his way in everything.”
“And have him burst in here again? I’d rather have privacy than give him lessons in manners.”
He had finished dressing and bent to brush her lips with his own. “I could break his head,” he whispered. “This isn’t the way I wanted it to—”
“End?” she finished as he stopped. “Nothing has ended. What are you thinking? We couldn’t stay here like this forever.” She kissed him long and hard. “Don’t settle anything of importance until I join you, no matter how impatient Vaden becomes.”
“I wouldn’t dare.” He smiled and gently touched the hollow of her cheek. “I, too, tremble at the thought of your wrath.”
“As well you should.” She pushed him away and tossed the blanket aside. “Now go and keep Vaden from attacking Nasim before I manage to make my toilet.”
He was gone almost before she finished the sentence. In spite of his words, she could see his eagerness. Sensuality and coupling were all very well, but Nasim was shimmering on the horizon and Kadar could never resist a challenge.
Nasim.
Fear clenched the muscles of her stomach. This was what she had wanted: a final confrontation and Nasim punished for his sins. It was what she still wanted. Right was right.
But, dear God, what of Kadar? She had been so fanatically determined to accomplish her goal that she had barely allowed herself to think of anything else. She had needed his help and told herself she would involve him as little as possible.
But no one could stop Kadar from involving himself if he decided that was what he wanted to do. She should have known that better than anyone else. No argument would sway him. He would just go his own way.
And he could die as Haroun had died, as her baby had died.
She would not allow it. After all they had been through to reach this point, she would not lose him now.
She drew a deep breath to ease the tightness of her chest. She must not panic. Kadar mustn’t see either her terror or any reluctance regarding his participation. That child-woman who had helplessly pounded her fists against his resolve was gone and must never return. She must think and plan and find a way to make sure that Kadar survived.
“It’s time you joined us.” Vaden’s smile was as brilliant as sunlight, but his tone was edged. “Very clever of you to send Kadar to pacify my impatience and then tell him not to speak until you arrived.” He glanced at Kadar. “I told him he was too new a groom to be so hagridden.”
“It’s been far less than an hour. Since you roused me out of my bed, it should have taken longer.” Selene moved forward and sat down beside Layla. “And better that Kadar have to deal with you than me. He has more patience with such rudeness.”
“Ah, yes, patience is one of my prime virtues,” Kadar murmured. “That and my passionate love for simplicity.”
Rascal. She felt the heat flush her cheeks but refused to look at him. “I’m here now, Vaden.” She glanced at Tarik and Layla and deliberately addressed her apology to them. “I regret keeping you waiting.”
Tarik nodded. “As you know, I’m in no rush for any of this to come into being. I’d just as soon have Nasim grow impatient, pack up, and set sail.”
“He won’t grow impatient,” Kadar said.
“And I would have known if he’d moved his camp,” Vaden said. “I’ve not gone to all this trouble to have him slip the net.”
“What trouble?” Selene asked.
“My men are gathered, armed, and camped south of the city.”
“That seems a great deal of trouble for them, not for you.”
Vaden grimaced. “I hope Ware had greater fortune with his choice of wife, Kadar. Though I thought I saw the same signs of willfulness.”
Kadar smiled at Selene. “I’ve grown used to it. I wouldn’t have her any other way.”
“But that’s because you’re obviously besotted. Is your mind clear enough to put it to such mundane things as a battle plan?”
Kadar’s gaze shifted back to Vaden. “We use the grail. I meet with Nasim first and tell him I’ve managed to steal the grail from Tarik. It’s the task he sent me to do, and it won’t seem unreasonable to him. Since he no longer has Selene as a hostage, I’ll tell him I’m in a position to demand a price for the grail. I’ll set up an exchange point to receive payment and give him the grail at a location where he won’t be entirely surrounded by his men. I’ll argue it would be too easy for him to take the grail and dispose of me as he sees fit. He’ll still demand a small protective force and twenty of his men are worth fifty of yours.”
Vaden shook his head.
“Believe me, it’s true. Nasim’s followers are fanatics who would die for him. Would your men die for you?”
“I hope not. I’d rather they live and wreak havoc among my enemies. You mean me to attack his force on the way to the meeting place?”
“That won’t be possible. You won’t see the assassins until they want to be seen and he’ll probably select the site and then send a message to me after they’ve arrived. He’ll expect me to reconno
iter the area and make certain everything is safe for me, but I’ll be watched. You can’t come too close.”
“It’s difficult to attack from a distance,” Vaden said dryly.
“You can’t attack until I accomplish what I have to do.”
“And what is that?”
“Kill Nasim.”
Selene had known it was coming, but she still tensed.
Vaden raised his brow. “And what of his guards you say are willing to die for him? What are they going to be doing?”
“I’ll have to find a way to get him alone. After I’ve killed him, I’ll signal you to attack.”
“I realize Nasim is a most unpleasant fellow, but why can’t we attack and you kill Nasim after we’ve secured the camp?”
“He could slip away. He’s not a warrior with a warrior’s code. I trained under him. I know him. He’d think nothing of leaving his men to die in an attack, if it meant his survival.”
“And what will be the signal?”
Kadar shrugged. “I won’t know until an opportunity presents itself.”
“It’s not as safe a plan as I’d like.”
“Nothing is safe with Nasim.” Kadar looked at Tarik. “You know Nasim. Can you think of a better plan?”
Tarik shook his head. “What of the grail?”
“It can’t be just a lure. I’ll have to take it with me and actually show it to him. Otherwise I’ll be dead two minutes after I reach the camp.”
“And what if Nasim slips away?” Layla asked. “You know he’ll take the grail.”
“You’ll have to trust me to make sure he doesn’t slip away.”
“And what of me?” Selene asked. “This plan is all you and Vaden. I’m the one who set all of this in motion. Am I to sit and wait and do nothing?”
“The whole reason for the meeting relies on the fact that you’re not a hostage and out of Nasim’s reach.”
“Then think of another plan.”
Kadar shook his head.
She turned to Layla and Tarik. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I agree,” Layla said. “Both for Kadar and the grail.”
“Then give me another plan that has a chance of working as well,” Kadar said.