“Jules!” I called when I caught a glimpse of her across the hall. My hands shook at my sides.
She smiled and did this little funny dancing jig to make me laugh, not caring one bit about the pairs of eyes staring right at her. She was blissfully unaware of how effective it was, temporarily melting away the fear of my morning from my mind.
“Hi,” she flirted.
“Hi sweetheart,” I said, kissing her neck, reigning in my feelings of fear just enough not to tip her off.
“Gross,” said Taylor behind us, rolling her eyes and shrugging past us to her next class.
Of course, we ignored her. Jules and my world was an amazing one. World War III could be clamoring around us and she’d be asking me if I remembered to write down the name of that obscure Indie film we had wanted to see.
She snuck her left hand into my right jacket pocket, as she always did, and let it set there to get warm against my body. Her hands were always frozen. I dipped to get her to remove her hand so I didn’t reveal anything through touch but she thought nothing of it. We moved to the tile wall behind Mrs. Kitt’s door to let traffic through.
“What happened in Art today?” I asked, avoiding the inevitable.
My heart was beating at a million miles an hour. I breathed deeply to regulate, hoping I wouldn’t give it away. I knew I had to tell Jules what had happened but I would have paid an exorbitant amount of money in that moment not to.
“Not much,” she said, scrunching her nose.
Uh oh.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Well,” she said, “Taylor Williams.”
“Enough said.”
We both laughed.
“Exactly. How was History?” She asked innocently, asking the very question that usually deserved a mundane answer.
“Well,” I sang.
“Uh oh,” she said, repeating my previously unspoken comment.
“Jesse Thomas and I got into a fist fight.” Guess what else baby? He’s also a psychopath.
I tried to make it sound like it was not a big thing. No sense in worrying her at school
“What?!” She almost screamed.
Heads whirled our way. They would find out soon enough but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them.
“Shhh,” I said, placing my forefinger to my lips, “I don’t want to talk about it now. Besides, class is about to start.”
“Okay,” she said pointing her finger at me, “but at lunch. Everything.”
I nodded.
“Elliott?”
“Yes honey?”
“I can read you from here you know? You’re nervous and that’s making me exceedingly nervous.” She paused, her bottom lip began to quiver. “Are you sure you can’t tell me now?”
I shook my head and we drifted into class.
“At lunch, I promise. Just not now. Let me gather myself. I’m just glad to have you next to me.”
On our way to lunch we walked slowly behind the rest of the class.
“Spill,” she said as soon as we reached the threshold of the door.
“Jules, what if I asked you to run away with me? Right now. This very second.”
“I’d say you were avoiding telling me what happened this morning.”
I stopped her and grabbed her arm, swiftly removing it before I bombarded her with my fear.
“Would you do it? If I asked you to? Would you do it without explanation?”
She sighed, “If you could look me straight in the eyes and say it was absolutely necessary. Yes, I would. I trust you.”
Alright, that was good to know. No sense in worrying her anymore than needed. I decided to tell her the bare minimum.
“Alright,” I said, steadying myself to blurt it out. “Jesse Thomas told me that I needed to break up with you and that I needed to give you to him.”
She thought seriously for a moment.
“As in, he wants to be with me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
That was the truth. I didn’t actually know why but do the insane need to justify their reasons to anyone? Their reasons are their own. I got the distinct impression that Jesse didn’t feel the need to divulge his reasoning at all.
“That’s really sad.”
“Why?”
“Well, it sort of confirms a suspicion of mine.”
“What Jules?” I asked seriously.
“ I wasn’t sure at first, but at the movies,” she hesitated, “now don’t get mad, but he kept staring at my legs.” I let out a deep breath. “So, he must like me. Hmm. He must be suffering and all on account of me, that makes me feel terrible.”
Must teach Jules not to assume anything ever again. Assumptions are dangerous things.
“Is there any way we can fix it?” She asked, genuinely wondering if she could help him.
For now, I had decided to let her assume whatever she wanted though, for her sake, not his, of course.
“I don’t think so Jules. The last thing a guy wants when he’s trying to get over somebody is that somebody helping him try to get over them. It’s sweet of you to want it, but I’m thinking it would just be cruel.” Not to mention incredibly dangerous. No, Julia Jacobs, I will never allow you near him again.
She nodded in agreement.
“No wonder he gave me such a horrible time. He was lashing out,” she said.
“Uh, yeah. Lashing out. That makes sense.” I cleared my throat, “On your date, did he do or say anything else that was strange?”
“Uh, kind of, but I just assumed he was being his usual kooky self.”
There she went assuming again.
“What happened?” I held my breath.
“He kept asking me all these extremely personal questions. Like, what time do you go to bed? Do you wear pajamas or sleep in your underwear? How far have you gone with Elliott? I think we can safely assume he knows that now after yesterday’s blow up. He asked me if I thought I was going to marry you and I started to think maybe his line of questioning wasn’t all that strange, like maybe I was overreacting or something, but then he asked me something that made my hair stand on end.” She shivered, but not because she was cold.
“What?” I gulped.
“He asked me if I knew what scarification was.”
“What? Oh my God!”
“Yeah, I know. I said, ‘that was out of left field!’ I asked him why he wanted to know but he evaded it. I thought about ringing you on my cell at that point but he did this complete one-eighty on me and started acting like the perfect gentleman again, holding doors, you know, things like that.
“The theater was full so we were forced to sit in the only two seats available toward the side. My seat had a piece of gum stuck to it and he laid down his leather jacket so I wouldn’t ruin my jeans. So, after that, I figured he was just kooky or socially inept. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it to you. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Jules! That’s not kooky! It’s creepy!”
“I’m starting to think you’re right.”
“Starting? Jeez Jules! You’re gonna’ be the death of me.” I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me, I thought. This new piece of information made me more afraid than I’d ever felt before.
“Calm down. Sheesh. I think you’re overreacting,” she said.
No, I’m not.
“Maybe this whole thing will blow over,” she hoped.
“Maybe,” I said, knowing full well it was not going to blow over. Better start figuring out where we’re going to live when we have to flee. How do you legally change your name anyway without others finding out who and where you are? Could we even get our diplomas and make it to university without anyone’s help?
For then, that was the end of that conversation, with her and myself.
That night, we sat on our rock bridge with a fleece blanket underneath us as well as one to
cover us. We sat cozily side by side and stared into the stars.
“Wow,” I said.
“I know,” she concurred.
She stole my eyes away from the starry night and I gazed upon her radiant face.
“I love you Jules.”
“I love you too Elliott,” she said turning to face me. “So, what’s up?”
“I actually want to talk seriously about our future.” About something so dear to me that not even what happened with Jesse Thomas today could keep me from talking to you about it.
“What’s to talk about? You’re my future and I feel confident in saying that I’m yours.”
“I mean the technicalities babe.” God, she was cute.
“I know,” she shrugged her shoulders.
“Well, I want to know how long you’d like to wait before we’re married.”
I just came right out and said it because it felt natural and after the day I had with Jesse I was at my wit’s end. It had taken me practically the whole day to calm down. I know it was sort of anti-climactic and all that but we felt it in our guts that we would someday be married to one another anyway. She knew it. I knew it.
“Elliott!” She laughed. “I thought you were going to say something like ‘Are you okay with never seeing me for the next seven years since I’ll be knee deep in cadavers’.”
“Jules, you’re a punk. I’m being serious. I know it’s premature, but I was thinking about it the other day. Then there is the night we almost lost it and.......” and today’s insaneness. Mostly today’s insaneness.
“You mean the night that I almost lost it.”
“No, we both almost lost it. Anyway, while I was in bed that night, I was thinking that I might want to get married as soon as we graduate.”
“College?” She asked.
“No, high school Jules.”
“No way Elliott!”
“Why not?”
“Because that would be too Bramwell-like of us, that’s why.”
“Oh who cares if it is! Are we or are we not from Bramwell anyway? Besides, I wanted to go to Philadelphia and actually be there with you.” If we can even go to Philadelphia now.
“Oh my gosh Elliott. Listen,” she laid on her back and turned onto her side. She patted the spot next to her and I followed suit, laying with my hands behind my head. I always tried to restrain my hands one way or another when I was near her.
She scooted closer to me and continued, “I am actually hyperventilating at the very idea of it because it sounds so tempting, but I think that it would be the death of our careers. I can just imagine getting pregnant while we’re in school and then I’d have to quit to take care of our baby and then you’d never see us for years because you’d be becoming a physician Elliott! You won’t have time for anything else. No. We’re just going to have to wait.”
I almost jumped out of my skin from excitement at the prospect of having children with her. I surprised myself with that one.
“You want to wait? I can handle that, but I don’t want to wait another ten years Jules. Can we compromise?” I offered.
“Like what?” She asked, turning onto her back and tucking her hands behind her head as well. It made me wonder if that was her own restraint device as well.
“Like, can we at least get married after we’ve earned our bachelors? I don’t think I can wait any longer than that.”
She thought for a really long time. Like, ‘sweat started to line my forehead’ kind of time.
“I think I can deal with that,” she said with a smile.
My hands escaped. I grabbed her and began to tickle her knee.
“Oh yes! You will deal with that! I am Elliott! King of compromises! And you, Julia Jacobs! You may be my court jester! Now dance for me!”
I continued to tickle her until she could barely breathe let alone speak she was laughing so hard. I caught a ‘please’ every now and then but ignored it. When I was done teasing her I laid beside her once more and bound my hands again. I knew she wanted to retaliate but could see her rethinking her strategy. She knew I’d go into torturing her for awhile until I was tired and we’d start the whole process over again. I guess she deciphered that the risk outweighed the reward and couldn’t help herself.
“Why do you keep doing this to yourself Jules?”
Again, not able to speak.
“Stop!” She finally shouted.
I let up and she caught her breath.
“You’re such a jerk!” She shouted, still laughing.
“Aww, I’m sorry love.”
I grabbed her little frame and squished her body with mine. She grabbed the blanket and wrapped the both of us with it and we stared at the stars again.
“You know something?” She asked.
“What?”
“Thanksgiving is coming up and as you know my family is going to my aunt’s house in Mauch Chunk.”
“I know. It sucks.”
“What if it didn’t have to suck?” She asked, her right eyebrow raised.
“That’s a sneaky look if I do say so myself.”
“Seriously. Maybe you could convince your parents it would be a good idea, with my parents and our whole extended family crammed into the house they’d have to know we’d respect the proper boundaries. What do you think?”
“I think it would be awesome, but I very seriously doubt my mom would say yes,” I said with certainty, “and I am pretty secure in the knowledge that your parents would also object. So, two major hurdles are a little out of our league.”
“Shows how much you know. I already cleared it with the parentals. You’re good to go baby. It never hurts to ask Elliott. The worst they could say is no.”
She was right. I was a pretty well behaved kid and although I had very serious doubts I decided it wouldn't hurt.
“I’m kind of getting my hopes up now,” I said.
I kissed Jules goodbye at her door and ran back to my truck. I decided I’d ask my mom that night if it’d be okay so I could surprise Jules with the good news, hopefully, the next morning.
When I strolled into our living room both my mom and dad were sitting on the couch together, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching television. Told you they were in love. Maddy sprawled on the floor doing homework.
“Elliott,” Maddy said, “will you help me with this math problem?”
“Sure.”
I plopped myself on the plaid chair next to her and grabbed her book.
“Which one is it?”
“Number thirty-four.”
“Okay.”
I figured it out quickly, she is almost seven years younger than I am. When I was done re-teaching her the lesson her teacher should have taught her in the first place, she discovered she had done almost every problem incorrectly and I could tell she had wished she had never asked me for my help. She threw herself in a huff back onto the floor and vigorously erased her entire worksheet. It got really quiet and I decided Thanksgiving with Jules was the perfect topic to break the silence.
“Mom? Dad?” I reluctantly said.
“Yeah son?” My dad said.
“Jules’ family is going to her aunt’s house in Mauch Chunk for Thanksgiving and they’ve invited me along. What do y’all think? Can I go?”
I made eye contact with my mom so she knew I wasn’t planning anything devious.
“I don’t think so Elliott,” my mom said.
“Well, if you say so,” I said, disappointed, “but if it makes you feel any better, her entire family will be there, including her extended family. We’d be chaperoned well and her parents are comfortable with it.” Please say yes.
“Oh let him go Shelby,” my dad said hoping we’d shut up so he could catch the end of his program.
“Hmm,” she deliberated, “I’ll call her mama in the morning and get the details. As long as it will be as well chaperoned as you claim it will be I don’t have a problem with it. Are you okay with being away from the family on such a holiday?”
> “I’ll miss you very much mom,” I got up and kissed her forehead.
That made her more comfortable. She made me promise that, if I went, I’d call her the day of and I crossed my heart that I would.
“Y’all are stupid,” Maddy said with audacity, eyes still focused on her worksheet. “I would never let my boy do something like that.”
All three of us stared at the pre-teen lounging in all her false glory. I left the room so I wouldn’t have to witness the disrespect smacked out of her knowing I would hear it through the walls as it was.
“Maddy check your tone before you find yourself grounded the entire Thanksgiving break,” my dad said.
“Imagine that Mark!” My mom said. “Maddy giving us advice! We’re so lucky to have birthed her and raised her to be more intelligent than us. Wouldn’t you agree Mark?”
“You’re right Shelby. Where would we be without her?”
I couldn’t see it but I’m sure my mom had a look of disgust on her face and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of it. I bounded up the stairs to my room and went to sleep happily dreaming of turkeys.
The next morning I was really excited to pick Jules up for school. When I got there, I bounded up the smallish incline to the bottom of the steps of the covered porch just as she was locking the door.
“You didn’t!” She squealed with delight when she turned around and met my eyes.
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“I can feel it in your chest Elliott Gray. You asked and they said yes!”
It was handy, most of the time. I had a feeling I’d never be able to surprise her again though. She dropped her bag on the wood porch with a loud thud and she leaped into my arms from the top step in excitement.
“You’re gonna’ love Mauch Chunk,” she said.
“I’ve been there before Jules. Granted, I was pretty little and don’t remember much, but I have been there.”
“Oh, you’ll remember this trip,” she flirted.
“I bet I will,” I teased.
“We’re going to have to start picking out our road trip music starting today,” she said, gesturing excitedly with her hands. “We only have a week!”