“That doesn’t make him less than me. Just because I was born a princess does not make me worthier or in any way better than him,” she argued.
“I agree with you, but it is the way of our society. You must marry within your own class. It’s the way it has always been.” I didn’t agree with it either, but I understood that anyone of noble birth who married a commoner would be shunned and treated with disdain. I did not want that for my sister.
“And how will that ever change if we aren’t willing to take the first step?”
I returned to the chair I’d been sitting in before Thomas had arrived and looked at my younger sister. “In so many ways, you are wise beyond your years. I wish I had an answer for you. You are right, we should set the example for change. But any time there is change, there is trouble. I don’t want you to have to be the one who bears that burden.”
“You cannot protect me from everything, Allete.”
“You certainly try to protect me from everything,” I pointed out.
“That’s different. You are important. You’re the firstborn. You need to continue Father’s lineage.”
“It’s a male who carries the lineage, and please don’t ever insinuate that I am of more importance than you or Lizzy. We are all of equal importance, and unique in our own ways,” I said, hoping she would hear the sincerity in my words. I had never thought myself to be somehow worth more than my sisters. Yes, I was firstborn, but that did not place a greater value on my life.
“Neither of us possesses the power that you have,” Dayna pointed out. “No matter how unique we are, we cannot heal others. That does make you more valuable.”
I didn’t know how to argue that point, though I still did not agree. I did not know why I had been giving the ability and my sisters given none. Magic had no rhyme or reason, as far as I could tell. Some people had it, and some people simply did not.
“What are your plans for the day?” she asked.
I breathed out a tired sigh and sat back, folding my hands in my lap. “I just want to enjoy quiet and rest. Obviously, I want to stay as far away from Cathal as possible.”
“No one blames you there,” she said.
“I had Lidia inform Torben and Brant that they were to stay at their post and not let anyone in before speaking with me first. I know that he will be here soon, considering I did not attend breakfast.”
“Do you want me to leave?” Dayna asked.
I could see that she hoped I would decline. She hated being alone. I had never been uncomfortable with solitude, but for Dayna it was almost a form of punishment. “You can stay,” I said finally, not wanting to be the one to make her feel as though she was being punished.
“Would you mind if I gathered your laundry, my lady?” Lidia spoke up. Sometimes it was easy to forget the quiet servant was there. From what I had learned from Lidia over the years, when servants went through training before being allowed to work in the palace, they were taught two important things. Servants were not to be heard. Servants were not to be seen. Basically, she said it meant that they were to do their job to the best of their ability without disturbing the people of the house.
It didn’t bother me to notice Lidia, and I never wanted her to feel like she couldn’t make noise in my presence, but her training had been drilled into her mind. She did her job very, very well.
“That would be fine. Thank you, Lidia,” I said and caught the small smile she let slip.
When I turned back to Dayna, she was holding a deck of cards in her hands. “What mischief are you up to?”
“After Cathal makes his appearance and stomps off in a huff, let’s get Brant and Torben to play cards with us. Maybe throw in a few wagers.”
“Where did you learn to play for wagers?” Before she could answer I held up my hand. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”
There was a booming voice from outside the door. I felt a sudden headache coming on, and if it had a name it would have been Cathal.
“I demand that you open this door this instant, or I will hang you myself,” Cathal snarled.
I supposed I should have at least tried to look scared by his threat, but I was too angry. It was like dealing with a disobedient child.
“The princess is not feeling well and has given strict orders that she isn’t to be bothered by anyone. Therefore, I am not required to acquiesce to your demand. That means I do not have to do what you tell me.”
“I know what acquiesce means, you cad.”
I shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure there would be no misunderstandings. I will let the princess know that you came by to inquire about her.” I nearly gagged on my own words. He hadn’t come by to check on her, that was sure. He’d come by to make demands, bully her, and take what did not belong to him.
“I am to be her husband. Her orders do not apply to me. I can see my bride whenever I damn well please. Now, for the last time, open this door!” His face was turning an interesting shade of purple, and his teeth were gritted so tightly together that I was sure they would break at any moment.
I began to answer, but the door behind me opened and closed quickly. Lidia, the handmaiden to Allete, stood next to me, her shoulders pulled back and her chin up proudly.
“My lady says to bid you good morning, but she cannot see you. She has been ill this morning.” She indicated the linens in her arms as if to insinuate that Allete had been vomiting on them. “She doesn’t want to expose anyone else, and her chambers need a thorough cleaning.”
When I looked back at Cathal, I almost laughed. His face showed a level of disgust that I had frequently observed on new soldiers in battle who’ve seen the belly of a man cut open and watched the intestines spill out. The man wasn’t even concerned that his wife-to-be was ill.
“Very well,” he said as he straightened his tunic and took a large step away from Lidia and the soiled linens. “Please tell her I wish her a speedy recovery.” He turned on his heel and strode quickly away.
“Did he just say something that wasn’t an insult?” Brant asked.
Lidia chuckled. “I do not think he cares about the recovery for her sake. I imagine it has more to do with the upcoming wedding. He doesn’t want to have to take a sickly bride to the altar.”
I nodded. “Yes, that seems the more likely motive.”
Lidia stepped in the opposite direction Cathal had gone and looked at Brant and me. “My lady also said that once Cathal was gone, she wanted you both to enter her chamber.”
My eyes widened. “Why?”
She leaned forward and whispered. “She isn’t really sick. These linens aren’t soiled. She’s tired and does not want to deal with anyone today. But Dayna is spending the day with her because, well, she’s Dayna. And the young princess suggested a game of cards. You two were invited to play.”
She turned and moved off down the corridor while we stood staring. Allete wanted us to play … cards? I should probably regretfully decline and explain that I needed to be at my post to keep watch, but I didn’t have the self-control to do such a thing. I wanted to be near her. I wanted to keep her from attempting to put space between us because she thought we couldn’t be together.
“Up for a game of cards?” I asked Brant.
“With the lovely Dayna? Always.”
I knocked on the door and waited until she bade us enter. Allete and Dayna were already seated at a small table, and Brant and I joined them. I was itching to touch her. But it might look strange if I just reached out for no reason and took her hand, and even stranger still if I attempted to braid her hair the way I had the night before.
“What kind of cards do you two play?” Dayna asked them.
“I’ve only played a few times,” Brant said. “But I do not remember the name of the games.”
“What about you?” she asked me.
“Same.”
Allete frowned. “I thought all guards played cards. Aren’t you all notorious gamblers?”
I wished I could tell her yes
, but the truth was I had no idea what guards did during their time off.
“Brant and I aren’t always the most social of men,” I hedged.
Allete gave me a look that said she was not convinced that my words were entirely true. She was too perceptive for her own good.
“We can teach you a new game, but I’m afraid there might be some wagering involved,” Dayna said as she shuffled the cards. “I’d hate for you to lose anything too valuable.”
“A little betting never hurt anyone,” Brant smiled.
Allete chuckled and shook her head. “If you believe that, then you are more naïve than I would have guessed.”
He pressed a palm to his heart and scrunched up his face. “You wound me, Your Highness. I have the weakest of constitutions.”
The sisters snorted together.
“I will believe that when I see Cook relinquish her carving knives,” Dayna said.
“Deal the cards, Dayna, and explain the game,” Allete ordered. It was obvious that she was trying to keep her sister on task. Dayna seemed to be distracted by Brant, and the young girl couldn’t quite keep her eyes on what she was doing. Brant was simply grinning at her, knowing full well the effect he was having on her. He would be insufferable to be around for at least a week.
I was surprised that the day continued without any disturbances. In between games and talking, Brant and I would step out into the hall and walk up and down the corridors to make sure no one was hiding, and to talk about the girls, of course. Then we’d returned to Allete’s chamber for more cards and pleasant conversation.
Everything felt natural and relaxed. At one point, I felt less like a guard and more like a companion, an equal to the two women. I wondered if Allete felt it. By the time the moon had replaced the sun in the sky, and the darkness at last lay like a blanket over the kingdom, I knew we needed to call it a night.
“While I have had had a wonderful time,” I began as I stood from the small table. “I think it is time we returned to our posts. You both need rest.”
“You need rest as well, Torben,” she said gently. “You’ve been up all night and all day.”
“I need to guard you,” I said, knowing that it would be very difficult to entrust her safety to someone else.
“Please choose two men you trust and have them take your place at least for a few hours so that you may sleep,” she said, the tone of command in her voice.
I nodded. “As you wish.”
I glanced at Brant who was busy whispering to Dayna and grabbed his tunic. “Let’s go, lover boy. We must not overstay our welcome.”
Before we could close the door behind us I heard Allete’s quiet voice and turned to look at her.
“Thank you, Torben, for being here.”
I bowed my head and made sure my eyes held hers. “There is no other place I would rather be than by your side.”
“No matter how long you’ve known someone—even if you’ve grown up with them, known them their whole life—they can still surprise you. Somewhere along the way, they grew and changed and you missed it.”
* * *
~Diary of Allete Auvray
It was late when a knock on my chamber door woke me from a light slumber which I had not fallen into easily. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and sat up, attempting to tame the hair that had escaped my braid.
“Come in,” I called, not wanting to climb out of bed. I suspected the identity of my visitor, and I knew Torben’s man would not allow entrance to anyone who would do me harm.
The door made a creaking noise as Lizzy pushed it open. It was a small thing, something that went unnoticed during daylight hours, but now seemed to echo throughout the castle, causing me to irrationally wonder if it would wake the entire house.
My sister stuck her head in. Her face was lit by the glow of a lantern as she held it out so she could see into the dark room. “I’m sorry to wake you, but I need to speak with you.”
I motioned her to come in and grabbed the dressing robe that Lidia had laid on the end of my bed. Once I’d slipped it on, I pointed at the chair. “Have a seat, Lizzy, you look dead on your feet. What have you been doing? We haven’t seen hide nor hair of you in a couple of days.”
“I am sorry that I had to leave after what happened to you,” she said. “Dayna stopped me on my way in and gave me a good scolding for not being around.”
I smiled. “She is overly protective.”
“And rightly so. I should have been here for you. I just don’t understand how that man could do such awful things to his future wife? He has no shame. No sense of honor.”
“No, he does not. He is a vile man ruled by his wants and desires and the pursuit of power. Father was not aware of his true nature when he promised me to the monster.”
Lizzy’s eyes widened. “Is he aware now?”
I nodded and explained that Dayna had told our mother and father. When I was finished, relief flooded my sister’s face.
“What is he going to do?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Dayna and Thomas want to assassinate him,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Good,” my sister spat. “It’s what he deserves.”
This took me aback. It would be something I would expect from Dayna, but not Lizzy.
“Father has not spoken of violence. Since when were you so comfortable with the taking of a man’s life, sister?” I asked as I watched her face carefully.
She shrugged. “Any assault on a royal family member, especially the eldest princess, would be grounds for a hanging. Why should it be any different with Cathal?”
“Because he is a king. His death would bring terrible consequences.” I knew she had not come only to speak about Cathal. I could tell that something else was agitating her, but she was stalling. For some reason, she was avoiding the topic.
“Where have you been, Lizzy?” I asked again. “Have you been tending the sick?”
After several minutes, she shook her head. “No,” she said softly.
“Are you going to voluntarily tell me where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”
She took a deep breath and then looked up from where she’d been staring at her fidgeting hands. “I’ve met someone.”
This was a declaration I had not expected. I kept my face relaxed as I spoke. “And I assume this is someone that we do not know, otherwise you wouldn’t need to sneak around.”
She nodded.
“Where did you meet him?”
“While walking out around the castle grounds.”
Okay, so Lizzy was going to make getting this information as difficult as getting Thomas to behave like a grown man.
“Who is he?” I asked.
“He is from Cathal’s court,” Lizzy admitted
I wasn’t sure what I should say to that. I had imagined Cathal’s men as nameless, faceless monsters, following the example of their vile leader. But it wasn’t fair to judge an entire kingdom because of its king’s actions. Still, the news was unsettling.
“What do you know about him? What is his name? How long have you been seeing him?” A barrage of questions flew from my mouth. I tried to keep an accusatory tone from my voice but feared that I was unsuccessful.
“I met him in the tavern one day when I’d gone in to get lunch with Mrs. Topper. I’d been gathering herbs, hoping to find something that would help her cough. He was sitting at a table alone. He looked so troubled, I couldn’t ignore him. After Mrs. Topper left, I admit that I lingered in the common room.” She paused, and her eyes seemed to become unfocused. “He caught me staring at him and came over and said hello. We sat and talked for an hour, and I agreed to meet again the next day.”
“And how long ago was this?”
“Almost three weeks,” she answered.
“With no chaperone?” I tried not to sound upset, but I clearly was. A single maiden alone with a man was not proper, and I didn’t want anyone gossiping about my sister. It wouldn??
?t matter if Lizzy had not done anything inappropriate with the man; the implication of what could happen would be enough for people to condemn her. “Did you consider what could happen? You, of all of us, are the one with good sense, Lizzy. Why would you behave in such a manner?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed and leaned back in the chair. Her hair was windblown and dark circles adorned her eyes. “Something about him just makes me forget my surroundings. I get caught up in our time together. He hasn’t been forward with me, and he’s never acted like anything but a gentleman.”
“He should have asked to speak with Father and to have a chaperone. That is what a gentleman who cares about a woman’s virtue does to protect her,” I pointed out. I could tell she was disappointed in herself, and I hated to see her hurting.
“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter now,” she said. “There’s something more important I need to tell you. It’s urgent.”
“What?” I asked, now truly perplexed.
“Something is going to happen, but I can’t tell you about it yet.”
“What are you talking about?” Butterflies were forming in my stomach.
“If I wait to tell you until the last moment, then you can honestly say you knew nothing about it. You won’t be able to be accused.”
“Okay, now you’re beginning to scare me, Liz. What is going on?” There was a prickling sensation running down my spine, and a voice in my mind yelling, ‘Danger!’
“I truly can’t tell you now.”
“What does it involve? Is it dangerous?” There I went with the bombardment of questions again. But I had this desperate need to know that she would be safe.
“It is dangerous, yes, very dangerous. But—” She held up her hand before I could interrupt. “It is also going to solve a lot of our problems, especially for you.” She reached over and grabbed my hand, clutching at it like a lifeline. “Everything is going to be okay, Allete. Please trust me, okay?”
I wanted to trust her. I wanted to believe that what she was saying was absolute truth, and all of our problems would go away. I didn’t want to be stuck with Cathal. I didn’t want to move away. I didn’t want to be away from Torben. I scoffed at myself. Even if I could be near Torben, I could never marry him.