CHAPTER XIX
WE APPEAR IN A NEW CHARACTER
It seemed that the man and woman in the middle of the road were theostler and chambermaid to the inn, who had just been convicted of agrave misdemeanour. The language in which it was designated anddescribed by the host and hostess, energetic in form and warm in colouras it was, could not, I fear, be reproduced in this chaste narrative.It must suffice to say that the guilty persons had been discharged at amoment's notice. They were now resenting this extreme course fromtheir station in the middle of the road; and whatever were the coloursin which their own conduct had been depicted, it is greatly to bedoubted, whether they could possibly have been more vivid than thoseapplied to that of their late master and mistress.
To these people in the midst of their altercation came Cynthia and I.Almost at the same instant a similar thought entered the minds of usboth. Why should we not apply for these vacated situations? We hadhad no experience of such duties, it was true. Our lot indeed would bearduous. But we should at least be provided with a shelter for thenight; and we could relinquish our unaccustomed tasks the moment wemight feel ourselves better served by doing so. A brief whisperedconference as we stood apart in the road, and we decided to makeapplication. Never for an instant did the idea cross our minds thatsuch a highly superior ostler and chambermaid could be anything butacceptable to the good people of the inn. Yet when taking our couragein our hands we came up to the door, and I put forward my suggestionwith a becoming modesty, the landlord seemed by no means so eager toclose with this tempting offer as I had fully expected he would be.
"Have you a character?" says he sharply.
"Oh yes, I think I have a very good character," says I.
"Humph," says he, "you think you have a very good character, do you?Well, my lad, I should like to see it."
"Well," says I, "a character is not very easy to see, unless there issomething to show it by."
"I am quite aware of that," says the landlord sharply. "However, wewill leave this precious pair and go inside, light a candle and look atit."
With that, man and wife led the way within, and we followed meekly,leaving the discharged couple in the road to pursue their own devices.In what way a candle would enable them to discern our characters wecould not tell, although we were half inclined to think that the commonphrase "to hold a candle to" might have in fact a more literalsignificance than any we had dreamt of. The inn kitchen presented arosy fire and a cosy appearance. The sight of it seemed to increasethe sense of our unhappy plight, and I think we both anxiously awaitedthe landlord's judgment, for it was impossible to contemplate beingturned out into the night again with equanimity.
"Now then, my lad," says the landlord, "I will thank you to let me seeyour character."
"I do not know how I can show you my character, sir," I ventured tosay, "until I have been some little time in your service."
"Come, that won't do, my lad," says the landlord, "I must either seeyour character or out you go."
Filled with misgiving, I was about to ask the landlord for anexplanation of this odd demand, when it suddenly occurred to me that hewished to have it in writing, like any other master who was about toengage a servant. I had to confess that I had not a character.
"Ha," says the landlord keenly. "Then why did you leave your lastplace?"
I had to confess that I had never had a last place.
"You don't mean to tell me," says the landlord, "that you have had theimpidence to apply to me when you have never had no experience of thedooties?"
I had to explain that such was the case, but earnestly stated thatwhatever I might lack in knowledge I would certainly make up in zeal.For all that it was like to have gone hard with our engagement had itnot been for the intervention of the landlord's wife. It may have beenthat vanity which is inseparable from the male character, but it didseem to me that from the first the good woman had been disposed toregard me with favour.
"Well, Joseph," says she at this critical moment, "he is a very properlooking young man, I am sure, and as honest looking as the day. I amsure he will do his best if he says he will. Besides, they are man andwife, which is a very main thing."
This reference to the pair of us had the effect of diverting the worthylandlord's attention to Cynthia. No sooner did he observe her than hisobjections became sensibly less formidable than they had been. And Iam afraid it was my little madam's _beaux yeux_ and not ourqualifications and accomplishments that got us the situation. Yet evenwhen we had been duly engaged at four pounds a year and our keep, therewas like to have been a hitch. The landlady's closer inspection of usrevealed the fact that although I might, as she had been good enough tosay be "a very proper-looking young man," Cynthia in her opinion wasvastly too fine-looking a young woman. She even went the length ofdescribing her as "a blue-eyed slut." Whatever the force of herobjections, however, as she herself was entirely responsible for theengagement of the ostler, she could hardly have gainsaid, much as shecould have wished to have done so, her husband's right to engage thechambermaid.
It was in this singular but fortunate fashion then that we foundourselves once more provided for. The inn being on a coaching road wasnot such a mean one as we had at first supposed. The host and hostessof it did not seem to be such bad people either, and as they did notexcept to have company in the place until later in the evening, andobserving that our travels had left us in a sorry condition, theyallowed us to make a rough meal, and afterwards to sit by the fire abit.
It went to my heart that my poor little companion should be brought tothis pass, but she acquiesced in it so cheerfully, and with such amerry sense of the occasion as did a great deal to diminish my concern.She was indeed a courageous little creature; and there was somethingabout her new duties that seemed to amuse her, for she went about themwith a humorous zest as though she was laughing at herself while shedid so. All the same we were genuinely glad when at last the hour camefor our retirement. We were thoroughly wearied and footsore too.
We rose in much better heart betimes on the following morning, and setabout our unaccustomed tasks with a vigour that compensated for ourinexperience. After all, they were of an elementary character, not atall difficult to learn. To be sure it was more than a little strangeat first to find ourselves engaged in such lowly capacities, but whenafter an hour or two the singularity had worn off, they became by nomeans irksome. Indeed, the novelty of the thing might be said to passthe time pleasantly. But as it happened, we were to be startled out ofthese pursuits in the rudest manner.
It chanced that about noon I had led the horse of a gentleman, who hadpassed the previous night at the inn, out of the stable round to thefront door. And while I was holding its head against its master'sdeparture there arose a clatter of wheels on the road. In a minute, orless, a chaise drew up at the door. No glance was needed at itsoccupants to tell me to whom it belonged. The peculiar shape andcolour were quite sufficient to advertise me of that matter. It wasthe Duke in person, accompanied by the indefatigable Mr. Waring. HisGrace lost no time in relinquishing the reins, and together theystepped from the vehicle to ease their legs somewhat, and entered theinn in quest of any little refreshment it might afford them. Happilyneither paid much heed to me. Indeed beyond an order to give an eye tothe horses and to fetch them a drink of water, I claimed no share oftheir attention.
No sooner had they entered the inn, however, than in the midst of someself-congratulation on my present impunity from discovery, I was besetwith a sudden fear of Cynthia. What more likely than that they shoulddirectly encounter her, unless she could be apprised of theirproximity? She must be warned at all costs. Fortunately at thatmoment the owner of the horse, whose head I was holding, appeared andrelieved me of its charge. Thereupon I hastily entered to adviseCynthia of her danger. Yet I did so only to find that the worst hadhappened already.
From the parlour the Duke's voice issued in a tremendous key. Therecould be no doubt that it was as I feared.
I lost no time in hasteningto my poor little one's assistance, if only to divert a portion of herfather's wrath. The scene that confronted me when I entered the innparlour would not by any means have been devoid of a certainwhimsicality had it not had so sinister a bearing on our fortunes. Theinnkeeper and his wife stood aghast. Mr. Waring was languidly helpinghimself to a pinch of snuff with an air of the frankest amusement.Cynthia was in a dreadful taking, and weeping bitterly. The Duke, herfather, was hopping about like a pea on a hot plate, and threatening togo off any minute into an apoplexy. At my appearance he very nearlydid so.
"You villain," he squeaked, shaking his fist in my face, and dancinground me, "you impudent, unblushing villain! Have I routed you out atlast? Have I run you to earth, you damned young scoundrel? By God,you shall pay a price; yes, you shall, so help me. Your purse may bebankrupt, but you shall pay this account with the last drop of bloodthat is left in your black heart. Pass your box, Humphrey."
Mr. Waring passed his box with a grim chuckling countenance; and hisGrace paused in the midst of his violent denunciation to make use ofit. It appeared to lend him succour, whereon he continued with renewedvigour. I would not like to set down here the number of hard names heput his tongue to, every one of which was levelled at my devoted head.To be sure I had used him pretty badly, but I fear that I was not inthe least repentant. I listened to his passionate abuse which hedelivered in a curious senile staccato, with an amusement possibly asgreat as Mr. Waring's own, and certainly more cynical. I don't thinkat the moment I cared much about the pass I was come to. I was utterlydesperate.
Poor little Cynthia, bitterly frightened as she was, and despite thetears that streamed from her eyes, was still very brave. She could notbear to hear my name degraded in this manner. In the face of herfather's wrath she came to my side and took my hand, and I loved herthe better for the deed.
"Landlord," says his Grace, "don't stand gaping there like a pig on aspit. Just have the goodness to bestir yourself, and fetch theconstables. This young scoundrel shall not go out of my sight, exceptin custody. The law hath wanted him long, and as I'm a person, itshall have him, too."
It was somewhere about this point in the scene, I think, that a boldexpedient came unexpectedly into my head. It had a full measure ofaudacity befitting the occasion. If only we could make a dash out intothe road and gain possession of the chaise one short instant before ourenemies, all was not lost even now. It was truly a remote chance, yetit was the only one that offered. Therefore no sooner had it enteredmy mind than I set my will to work to put it in practice. With thisend in view I gave a furtive eye to the position of the parlour door.I found myself even now the nearest person to it. I must contrive toget still nearer and acquaint Cynthia of the nature of my desperatedesign without arousing the suspicions of our furious papa or thelanguid Mr. Waring.
As the landlord stood hesitating as to which course he should adopt,the Duke directed some attention to him, and gave him freely of hisorders. It was while our papa was thus engaged that I bent down toCynthia and whispered my audacious plan into her ear. From that momentwe turned all our energies towards getting closer to the door withoutbeing suspected of doing so. Every step we could encroach mightpresently be of the greatest possible service. Unfortunately the factthat the parlour-door was closed was a great barrier. We should nothave time to open it and get away.
The Duke having at last prevailed on the landlord to go for theconstables, it was with inexpressible anxiety that we watched him goout of the room. If he would but leave that door unlatched we had justa chance of getting to the chaise in time. With a thrill ofsatisfaction we saw him go out, leaving the door wide open behind him.The Duke and Mr. Waring were apart at the other end of the room, quiteoblivious of any scheme we might be evolving. They had forgottenapparently that a chaise and a pair of horses stood outside the door.Carefully noting the actions of our enemies and the degree of attentionthey thought fit to pay us, we sidled nearer and nearer, an inch at atime, to the parlour-door. And at last, having concluded that thelandlord had got well clear of the premises, and was therefore notlikely to present any obstacle, I decided that now or never was themoment. I whispered my last brief instructions to my little companion;and then taking our careless captors entirely unawares, she darted outthrough the door, and I as swiftly followed her.
The scheme had been thoroughly matured in my mind. To allow Cynthiatime to run on and gain access to the chaise, a proper control of thereins, and to set the horses in motion, I did not follow her at once,but preferred to bang the parlour-door in the face of our pursuers, andclung with both hands to the handle that they might be impeded as muchas possible. Once aroused to their danger, they lost not a second oftime in besieging the door, but with my back firmly planted against theopposite wall I was quite a match for them in the matter of hauling. Iwas able to detain them the wrong side therefore, until a cry fromCynthia informed me that she had fulfilled her part of the business.Thereon I suddenly released the handle, and our enemies foundthemselves so unexpectedly in possession, that they fell back one uponanother, whilst I ran forth to the chaise.
It was already starting briskly down the road. I was able to overtakeit and get in by the time the Duke and his friend showed at the door;and though they ran after us for a few yards they soon came to theconclusion, with the horses fleeing faster and faster, that immediatepursuit was hopeless, and relinquished the chase accordingly. We hadnot gone very far, however, when we overtook the landlord on his way tofetch the constables. That puzzled fellow made no effort to detain us,and in that I think he was well advised.
It was some little time before we could get the excitement engenderedby these events out of our minds, and realize that we were still inpossession of our freedom, that most cherished thing, for which we weredoing and suffering so much. We had a chaise and a pair of horses too.But I do not think that any two persons could have looked so little intheir places in such a handsome vehicle. The appearance we presentedmust have been highly ridiculous. Neither of us had cloaks orcoverings for our heads, whilst I, in the pursuit of my lateoccupation, had divested myself of my coat in addition. We were thusin absurd contrast to our fine manner of procedure. Having put anhonest mile between us and the inn, we began to examine the contents ofthe chaise with an eager curiosity, not unmingled with anxiety. Thefirst articles to rejoice our hearts were several thick rugs, which welost no time in putting to use. There was a case of pistols, too; andover and above these things we discovered to our supreme satisfaction acouple of travelling valises, the property of Mr. Waring and his Grace.
Our straits were much too dire for our minds to be greatly oppressedwith the morality of things. To us it seemed as though thesetravelling valises had come from heaven. Robinson Crusoe on his islandcould not have had a devouter thankfulness when he recovered thearticles from the wreck than we had in the contemplation of ourtreasure. We experienced an exquisite curiosity as we speculated onwhat they might contain. However, we deferred the opening of them,partly because the time and place would for the present be ill-chosen(we must put many more miles between us and the enemy before we couldventure to draw rein) and again, because we desired, like a pair ofchildren, to draw out to the outmost the pains of our deliciousexpectation.