“What?” Lily asked.
“I’ll make love to you when you’re recovered. Right now, you’re still not yourself.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
Something about that made her heart flutter. She didn’t understand completely why but she felt it was important.
“Go to sleep, darling,” he murmured into her hair.
She decided she liked it when he called her darling. She knew she shouldn’t but that didn’t change the fact that she did.
Exhausted from the day’s events, in fact, the events of the past two weeks and in his comfortable bed with his warmth behind her, she fell into a deep sleep the like of which she had not had for years.
She woke, what seemed a year later, rested, relaxed, contented… and aroused.
“Nate?” she mumbled sleepily.
Apparently Nate had decided she was herself again for, at the sound of her voice, he took his hand away which had been up the hem of her nightgown, cupped at her breast with two fingers not-so-idly fondling her nipple. He flipped her on her back and in an instant he became her entire world. His hands, his mouth, his tongue, they were everywhere and the vague sense of relaxed, contented arousal boiled away in seconds as hot desire flooded through her.
She gloried in it, had been waiting years for it and now she knew it was finally to be hers.
Within minutes he had her meagre clothing off her body and the heat surging through her like a burn. She was moaning his name, her hands in his hair as his mouth was at first tormenting one breast then the other then down, down…
Then he stopped and his head jerked up dislodging her hands. Abruptly his body fell to the side, its weight coming off her and his immense heat leaving her made Lily feel suddenly cold.
Disoriented, she tilted her chin down to see what had stopped him and her body stilled at what she saw.
Nate was laying on his side, up on his elbow and his eyes were riveted to her belly.
It had been eight years since anyone had seen her naked and in the heat of the moment, the thrill of the sensations, she’d forgotten all about it. She wasn’t the biggest fan of her body, in fact, she mostly disregarded it, it did what it was told most of the time and that’s all she required of it.
Now, she felt vulnerable and embarrassed, especially that he was looking at her stomach. It wasn’t precisely her favoured area of her body, not that she had a favoured part of her body.
Lily’s flushed face started to burn and she looked down to see what caught his attention and then saw the scar from Tash’s c-section.
It wasn’t hideous but it was a scar and scars were never very attractive. She saw his hand reach out toward it and she grabbed it in embarrassment before he could touch her. She wanted to throw the covers over her but his eyes moved to hers.
The instant they locked on hers, she became mesmerised by them. They were glowing with something she couldn’t read but whatever it was made her forget her embarrassment entirely.
“Tash?” he asked, his voice husky.
She nodded, wondering what he was thinking.
Then to her astonishment, his head bent and his lips touched the scar at one end and slowly ran along the length of it.
“Nate,” she whispered, witnessing his tender gesture, the tears suddenly came, clogging her throat, making her voice croaky.
And then she couldn’t think of crying, couldn’t think of his tenderness because he’d shifted his body and his head was going down even more, his mouth finding her between her legs and all she could think about was what he was doing to her, what he was making her feel and the absolute beauty of it.
He made her climax with his mouth and while she was in the throes of it, the waves of pleasure sliding through her body, he surged up and filled her. She cried out his name as he drove into her, not being gentle in the slightest, his thrusts were sheer, controlled violence. It was a possession, a claiming and his hand came between them, went straight to the highly sensitised core of her even before she’d completed her orgasm, bringing another one instantly.
She was panting, clawing at his back, mindlessly whispering his name between breaths, wrapping her legs around his hips as the glorious sensations tore through her at having him again. She loved the feeling of him slamming into her just like she’d dreamed so many nights and even daydreamed during the light hours.
And finally, when she was certain she’d live for eternity in the heady spasm of a climax, his hand came from between them, both his hands lifted her hips and he drove into her one last time, moaning his release into her mouth.
After, Lily lay there, the weight of Nate pressed against her, his face buried in her neck, her limbs wrapped lovingly around him and she allowed herself the tiniest moment of joy that they finally, after years and years, had the beauty of what they used to share back.
His head lifted and his mouth came to hers.
“Sweeter than I remembered,” he murmured against her lips and she was so intoxicatingly spent she could do nothing but nod.
Lily didn’t remember that he’d told her that he did remember everything. Therefore, she had no idea what his words meant.
It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, she’d just had a multiple orgasm during a coupling with a lover, not just a lover, her dream man who she thought had been dead for eight years.
She was beyond processing the importance of murmured statements after climax.
Instead, she immediately began to drift to sleep. Her eyes were closed and Nate was stroking the hair away from her temple. She thought that felt nice.
“Lily?” She heard his soft, deep voice still rough with desire.
“Just going to rest my eyes a bit,” she mumbled something her grandmother Sarah used to say before napping. She wrapped her arms and legs tighter around him, he was still on top of her, still inside of her and she nuzzled her face in his neck.
On her trip to dreamland, she felt Nate’s body shake with amusement and normally she would have found this irritating but she was, at that moment, way, way beyond irritation.
It had, Lily thought, as she took a shower in his shower cubicle that could have easily fit three (or even more) people, been a little slice of heaven. As she scrubbed the peony scented bath gel that Laura bought her into her skin with the fluffy sponge Laura also bought her, she looked around Nate’s state-of-the-art bathroom (it took her five minutes to figure out how to work the taps in the shower) and distractedly realised it was bigger than Natasha’s bedroom.
This luxuriousness brought other things to mind.
Marriage to Nate, Lily thought, might not be that bad. Firstly, Natasha would have her father. Secondly, Natasha would learn how to ride a horse, indeed, at the rate Nate was going, she would likely own one by the end of the week. Thirdly, perhaps, just perhaps he would take care of them.
He certainly dropped everything to take care of Lily yesterday. She’d seen his work spread across his massive, twelve-seat dining room table last night. She could imagine what a penthouse apartment cost not to mention being able to throw around fourteen million pounds in a week, buy her a Mercedes and whatever Nate had arranged for Tash’s trust fund.
Eight years ago, he’d worked relentless twelve hour days and even, sometimes, made business calls to different time zones in the evenings. It likely wasn’t so easy for Nate McAllister to drop everything because the wayward mother of his child happened by for a surprise visit and then had a medical semi-emergency.
She stepped out of the shower and towelled off, wrapping the thick towel around her hair and sorting through Laura’s various tubs and bottles – at least a two year supply for Lily, even if she could have afforded those brands, which she couldn’t.
While Lily lotioned her body and went about putting on her face, she also resolutely set aside how Nate took care of her yesterday. She didn’t think of his soft voice or the intense feeling flowing through it when he spoke. She didn’t think of him carrying her urgently to the car or pressing a flannel to her hea
d or urging her to tell him how he could help. And lastly, she tried not to think of his admission that she scared the hell out of him and what that might mean.
They would be husband and wife so they could be mother and father to Tash, a family whole at last, just as Lily had while growing up. Lily was happy to accept all that came with it, the companionship (if it lasted), the lovemaking (which was very nice and always had been), the security (clearly, Nate could take care of them financially, they most likely would never have to worry again about the fridge breaking down and what that might mean to their grocery budget).
She would let him, indeed, welcome him into her home, her life, her family and her bed.
But she was going to have to guard her heart.
Nate wasn’t going to let her in to his that was clear. She’d practically had to beg him to tell her she’d scared him with her migraine.
Therefore, she wouldn’t, couldn’t let him in to hers. Not again.
They were, she thought as she put on one of Laura’s outfits, strangers that somehow seemed to be closer, have more of a history than they actually did, merely because everything had been so intense, so much compacted into such a short period of time.
But they were strangers and Lily had to remember that.
She combed out her wet hair one last time as Nate had no hair dryer (alas), mussed it with her fingertips and she looked at herself and her new outfit in the mirror.
The skirt was so long it was to her ankles, white, flowy and tiered with a pretty, minty-green, gauzy top that was nearly so sheer you could see through it. It’s wide neckline fell off her shoulder, exposing the strap of the pastel green camisole and matching bra she wore under it. The top was belted at the waist with a piece of wide fabric that matched the blouse.
Laura had exquisite taste. Lily tried not to think of the expense of the clothes, she knew the designer names in the labels and shuddered at what they likely cost. She resolved to find a way to pay Laura back and soon. She really didn’t want to be indebted to the Roberts.
Lily strapped on the gold sandals she wore the day before and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall in search of food to quell the growling in her stomach. She wondered if Nate still had his groceries delivered but figured he likely did, the idea of Nate wandering the aisles of a grocery store was so preposterous, it made her smile.
Lost in her thoughts, the smile still on her lips, she walked into Nate’s gigantic living room and stopped dead as she saw both Nate and Victor standing around the work that was still spread out all over Nate’s dining room table.
Nate’s head jerked around when he saw her enter the room. He was holding a file open, the papers arched for him to read and his face had been blank. The minute his saw her, though, his lips curved into one of his breathtaking smiles that a lone gymnast in her belly liked especially and therefore executed a perfect back hand-spring at the sight.
Lily’s ignored the gymnast and her antics and her eyes flicked to Victor. He was smiling at her too, his far more tentative. She didn’t know what to make of that so she nodded to him silently.
Nate was approaching her, his long legs eating the distance swiftly and she tilted her head back because, within seconds, he was at her side.
“Good morning,” she said as she gazed up at him.
“Morning.” His low voice rumbled and his head came down to give her a brief but hard kiss. His strong hand settled at her waist and flexed there and her hand went up to flatten on his shoulder to push back, not wishing to engage in a Nate-style public display of affection in front of his father.
His head came up and he completely ignored the pressure of her hand.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
“Better.” She watched his black eyes flare and instantly took his meaning. “Good,” she whispered for his ears only and felt the blush creep up her cheeks just like she was a twenty-two year old virgin and not the mother of a seven year old girl.
“Good?” His voice had a faint teasing tone that the lone gymnast also liked, very much, and the corners of his lips tipped up in a lazy grin.
She leaned into him conspiratorially, her eyes shifting around his shoulder to Victor then back to him.
“Your father,” she said, sotto voce, reminding him they had company.
For some reason, this made him snatch her into his arms and he buried his face in her hair as he chuckled against her neck.
And somehow, making him chuckle, Lily felt that she’d just reached the top of Mount Everest even to the point of having trouble breathing as she’d reach such altitude.
He let her go, though she felt it was somehow with reluctance, when the mobile phone on the dining room table started ringing. Nate strode back to the table and she watched him go, thinking he had such a powerful gait that it was beautiful, like the trained power of an athlete.
Then her eyes fell on Victor.
She felt funny around Victor. He’d hurt her in more ways than putting his hands on her in violence to the point of bruising her. He’d broken her trust by doing it.
She thought of him, when she first met him, as a kind of father-figure in absence of Will. Now Will was gone and both Tash and Lily were left with Victor and Lily didn’t know what to think of that.
He’d done what he’d done out of love and loyalty for Nate but it still didn’t change the fact that he’d lost his temper to the point of manhandling her.
“Lily,” Victor greeted softly as she walked toward him cautiously. Her eyes moved to Nate who had answered his phone. He was talking on the mobile but also watching her, watching them, and not missing a thing. He was not, this time, inspecting a bug under a microscope. Nate’s dark eyes were active, engaged and aware.
“Do you want some coffee?” Victor pointed to a silver service and Lily nodded.
“I’d kill for some coffee,” she answered and Victor moved to get her a cup. “Two sugars and milk,” she told him.
“I’m not surprised you like it sweet,” Victor mumbled to himself as he poured her a cup. “Laura made it, so you don’t have to worry, it tastes good. You just missed her. She left not five minutes ago.”
He offered her the cup and Lily took it.
“Please thank her for me, for what she did yesterday, for the clothes.” She put her arm out to show him her outfit. “If she gets me the receipts, I’ll pay –”
“Rubbish,” he snapped and she tensed immediately, her eyes flying to Nate who, she noted, regardless that he was on the phone, was watching her so closely she couldn’t imagine he heard a word that was said by the person on the line.
She moved her gaze back to Victor and she just stopped herself from taking a step back at the intensity she saw in his eyes.
“We owe you more than a pretty skirt,” he was saying.
“I’m sorry?”
“Jeff, Danielle… me. We owe you more than some bits of fabric.” Lily held her breath at his words and he lifted his hands in a gesture of agitated frustration then he spoke with surprising bluntness. “How do you go about paying a girl back for eight years of her life, marking her with bruises?” He was still intense but seemed, underneath it, lost and uncertain.
She was shocked at his honesty, shocked and touched.
“Victor…” She moved toward him, responding to the “lost and uncertain” bit and without taking a sip, she set her coffee back on the table.
She was only feet away from him when Victor announced, “I disowned them.”
At these words, Lily froze. Then she breathed, “What?”
“Jeff and Danielle, cut them off without a penny. The wills are already changed, Nate, you and Natasha inherit everything.”
Lily blinked. “But they’re your children,” she protested, forgetting, for that moment, how truly hideous they both had acted, taking her note, not telling Nate her parents had died, telling Lily Nate was dead. This was not the behaviour of kind, good people.
But disowning them?
Sara
h had always threatened to disown Lily or Becky or Will, depending on who angered her but it was always an empty threat and she didn’t have much to give anyway, not like the Roberts did.
But to go so far as do it?
“Yes,” Victor replied firmly, “they are my children and for that reason they have whatever’s left in their trust funds and I’ve left them to their lives each with a good education to make something of themselves, finally.”
Lily took another step forward. “I hope you left the door open, just a crack, in case they’re sorry and they come back,” she said softly and hesitantly she put her hand lightly on his arm.
He looked at his arm where her hand rested and then at her. The intensity drained from his eyes and the Victor she knew replaced it.
“You have a kind heart, Lily,” he told her quietly. “I’ll take them back only if they convince you and Nathaniel to forgive them. Not before and if you don’t, not ever.”
She squeezed his arm and moved into him another several inches. “Laura?”
Victor put his hand over hers on his arm. “She agrees.”
Lily closed her eyes as the pain of another mother ran through her.
She opened them again and said, “It had to cost her.”
Then he said something strange, something that made Lily immensely curious, scared her out of her wits and, most importantly, it rocked her to her core. He said it in a low, quiet voice that was meant not to be heard outside their tête-à-tête.
“Nathaniel had suffered enough in his life. He didn’t need to suffer the last eight years. Laura knew that and I know it too. He’s our son, they hurt him, what were we meant to do?”
For the briefest second she thought it was a statement in the guise of a question but then she realised he expected her to answer. To tell him she approved, to give him other guidance or show him another way.
She shook her head and because her answer was unworthy, she turned into him and closed her arms around his shoulders, enfolding him in a hug.
She closed her eyes tightly and whispered in his ear, “I don’t know what to say.”
His arms came around to embrace her and there was violence in it, an affection so strong, it took her breath away.