Irene’s face was distressed, her voice soft but on edge as she tried to remain steady despite the tears forming in her eyes – tears she was determined Max wouldn’t see her shed. “Don’t you get it? I didn’t tell you because I can’t bear the thought of letting you down.”
Max couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Irene’s words made him feel like she had just punched him in the stomach. Irene turned away from him swiftly and felt the tears start to blur her vision. Max saw her move away from him dejectedly, and he thought his heart was going to break. She explained, “I applied before you ever even applied to Columbia. Even if I do get in, I don’t have to go. That way we won’t be in New York together if that’s what’s bothering you.”
Max stood there stunned. He couldn’t believe that Irene thought he was upset because he didn’t want to be in New York with her. Her back faced him – her shoulders slumped – her arms folded in front of her – her hands held her upper arms – and he could tell she was crying. Max walked to her swiftly until he stood behind her. He reached out and pulled her to him, crossing his arms in front of her until her back touched his chest and his chin rested on the top of her head. “I’m not upset. Well, I guess I was initially – but that’s because I thought you didn’t care about telling me – not because you were afraid to tell me.”
Max tightened his hold on her. “Irene, how could you think that I’d be bothered about us being in New York at the same time?” She didn’t respond. He continued – his voice open and honest. “I’m relieved actually. I know that you’ll get into Juilliard. There’s no question – even though you still haven’t let me watch you dance.” She turned facing him – his arms still tight around her as she looked up at him. He moved his hands until they were holding the sides of her face, and he gently rubbed his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away her tears. “Irene, when are you going to realize that I love you and that I always will?”
Chapter 8
Several months later when Max arrived at the Duncan home, he checked the mail like he had been doing for the past few weeks. He and Irene had been anxiously anticipating the arrival of the letter from Juilliard – and that afternoon it finally arrived.
“Irene, it’s here!” Max called as he burst through the front doors.
In his hand he held a large envelope. Max’s letter from Columbia had arrived earlier that week but remained unopened on the kitchen counter since he and Irene had agreed to open their letters together.
Max headed down the hall toward the dance studio – knowing Irene would be practicing. Before he got to the door, Irene had opened it and came running out. She wore a black leotard, black dance pants, and ballet slippers. Her long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. She was zipping up a large, gray sweatshirt that she had thrown on over her leotard. Her face was flushed, and she was breathing hard – not only from her recent practice – but also from her anxiousness. Her face looked worried, and her voice sounded nervous. “It’s here?”
“Finally,” Max replied gesturing to the envelope he held in his hand. “It sure took long enough. Let’s hurry and open it. The anticipation’s killing me!” They both sprinted to the kitchen where he handed the envelope to Irene. He then picked up the envelope addressed to him.
“You first,” she said placing her letter on the counter. She clasped her hands tightly – not moving a muscle. She seemed far more worried than Max. “Hurry! I can’t handle the suspense.” Max swiftly sliced the envelope open with a letter opener. He removed the papers and turned them so that he could read them. Irene stood watching his face anxiously – trying to hide her impatience.
Max finished reading and looked up at her. “I got in!”
Irene clapped her hands as she started jumping up and down. “Of course you got in! Was there ever any doubt?”
“Well, you never know.”
“I’m so excited for you.” Irene ran to him sliding her arms around his waist as he pulled her into a tight hug. “I knew you’d get in!”
“Okay – now it’s your turn.” Irene walked back to where she had left her envelope on the counter and picked it up holding it contemplatively, her hands shaking. Max couldn’t hide his own eagerness. “Open it!”
“I can’t. I’m too scared,” she replied looking at him, her anxiety obvious. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Here – I’ll do it.”
Irene handed the envelope to Max. He opened the letter hastily, skimming it quickly, his face expressionless. Irene stood motionless – not taking a breath. She watched his face earnestly looking for any indication one way or the other. “Well?” she asked tucking a lock of hair that had come free from her ponytail behind her ear, then placing one hand self consciously on her lips as she tried to hide her concern. He looked up from the letter. “Just tell me, Max. You don’t have to break it to me gently.” She took an audible breath. “This is making me nauseous.”
“You’re in!” Max said ecstatically. He ran to her laughing, picked her up at the waist, and tossed her up slightly so that her arms were around his neck. They celebrated excitedly together as he swung her around the kitchen, her feet not touching the floor. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d do it!”
“I can’t believe it!”
“I can.” Max set her gently back on the ground. Her hands rested on his shoulders – his held her tiny waist. “Now that you’ve been accepted to Juilliard – guess what that means?” Max questioned, his face delighted. “Soon, I will finally get to see you perform.”
“You may not be as excited when you actually see me dance,” she cautioned jokingly.
He laughed at her – then his voice became serious. “I really am so proud of you Irene – and I know your mom is too.”
“Thank you Max. That means a lot to me.” He placed a hand tenderly on one of her cheeks, and then he kissed her on the other. Irene’s heart started pounding – yet this time it had nothing to do with Juilliard.
Max looked down at her for a moment as if he were considering something. Then the moment was gone, and he smiled. “Well, I guess that I had better go call Luke and tell him the good news.” He walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to the study to call Luke.
Irene stood alone in the kitchen. Although the acceptance letter had surprised and excited her – nothing had prepared her that day for the sudden and unexpected realization that she was in love with her best friend – and had been for a very long time.
Chapter 9
New York – Six Years Ago
The past few months had flown by and were some of the happiest that Irene could remember – despite their rocky beginning. Shortly after receiving their acceptance letters, Luke had insisted on celebrating the good news. There was a lot for the three friends to celebrate – Luke had also recently been admitted to law school at Yale.
They ordered takeout, played cards, turned up the stereo, and danced to their favorite rock bands. Because of the loud music, laughter, and dancing, none of them heard a knock at the door. They didn’t notice that Tweed had let herself into Irene’s home until they nearly ran her over as she stood by the kitchen doorway. Her arms were folded reproachfully. She looked furious, and it was obvious that she was seething because of the cozy party that she had interrupted – one to which she had not been invited.
“What’s all this?” Tweed asked tartly but with a strained smile.
“Just a little celebration,” Luke said smiling devilishly – enjoying Tweed’s lack of composure.
“And what exactly, may I ask, are we celebrating?”
Max interrupted before Luke could further antagonize her, “We’re celebrating our acceptance letters – we got in!”
“That’s fantastic! Max, I’m so proud of you,” Tweed responded holding on to the sides of his face – kissing him briefly on the mouth. Suddenly her smile vanished. She dropped her hands and walked into t
he room as she kept her eyes fixed on Irene. “I didn’t know that you had decided on college. Where are you going?”
Irene held her hands together in front of her. Her heart started pounding anxiously, and her face looked frightened. “I’m . . .” she cleared her throat. “I’m going to Juilliard.”
“You’re what!” Tweed was shocked and irate. Before Irene could explain, she continued, her voice becoming increasingly harsh. “Well, I’ll bet you’re excited – in New York all alone with Max.” She clicked her tongue, “My, my . . . I should have known that you’d apply to a school in New York because you couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from him for even an instant, could you?” Not stopping for breath, she spat out, “I just don’t know how you managed to get in. Oh, never mind – I do. Did your daddy have to make a sizeable donation so that they’d take mediocre talent such as yours?”
“Tweed! Stop it! That’s way out of line,” Max demanded.
“Tweed,” Irene responded quickly trying to explain before the tirade continued, “I swear I applied before Max ever . . .”
Tweed cut her off rudely and turned to Max – no longer trying to conceal her animosity toward Irene. “I won’t have it, Max. I won’t have you in New York with her. Do you understand me? If she goes, then you stay. Is that clear?”
Max’s demeanor turned frigid. His striking face looked angry, and he paused a moment to compose himself. “I think we should talk privately, don’t you?” It wasn’t actually a question but was an authoritative statement that left Tweed speechless. She nodded – too stunned to speak – and walked out of the kitchen without saying another word as he followed her.
“That was awkward,” Irene said finally drawing a breath as she looked at Luke.
“I actually found it enjoyable,” Luke joked as he let out a slow whistle. “Wow, Max was mad. I sure wouldn’t want to be Tweed right now.” They stopped talking when they heard the voices in the entryway grow louder and more argumentative. Suddenly the front door slammed, and the house was silent. Max walked back into the room and looked angrier than before.
“Dude, what happened?” Luke asked expectantly.
“We decided to spend some time apart so we can sort things out.”
“You just broke up?” Luke couldn’t believe his ears. Max and Tweed had been dating since high school – it had been nearly five years.
“We’re just thinking things over, and we’ll see what happens.”
Irene was surprised and felt guilty because she felt responsible for their break up. “Max, I’m sorry. It’s my fault you broke up. She doesn’t want us to be in New York together, and that’s why she’s so angry.” Her face was distraught with worry, and she nervously bit her lower lip. “What should we do?”
Max looked at Irene. “Look at me, Irene. This isn’t your fault – you understand?” He walked to her and placed his hands reassuringly on her shoulders, looked into her troubled face, and smiled. “What do you mean what should we do? We’re going to New York – too bad if Tweed’s got a problem with it. She’ll just have to get over it because that’s how it’s going to be.”
***
Months later autumn arrived, and Max and Tweed still had not reconciled. Max and Irene moved to New York as planned, Luke left for New Haven, and Tweed sulkily remained behind in Boston. This change marked a new chapter in Max and Irene’s relationship. This was the first time in years when they could be together and talk like they had when they were growing up. They were both busy with school, but they made a point of getting together whenever they could. Irene realized that the more time she spent alone with Max, the more she was in love with him. She tried her best to suppress her feelings. She masked them as well as she could – never wanting him to know the truth. She was terrified about what his reaction would be if he ever found out.
Chapter 10
“So, whose turn is it to pick this time?” Irene questioned as she walked from the kitchen into the cozy family room in Max’s upper west-side apartment. Tonight was Irene and Max’s movie night. Since the two of them had moved to Manhattan, they’d watched a movie together nearly every weekend. Irene carried a large bowl of popcorn, and Max followed her – carrying some cold drinks. They put the popcorn and drinks down, and then Max sat on the plush couch and put his feet up on the edge of the maple coffee table so that he’d be more comfortable. Irene walked over to the television and waited to start the movie.
“It’s my turn isn’t it?” Max asked in response to her question. He paused for a moment. “Yes, as I recall, the last time you chose and made me suffer through that awful Titanic movie,” he joked.
“It was sad!”
“I know it’s supposed to be epic, but in my opinion, I’d rather go down with the ship than watch it again.”
His sarcasm made her laugh. “All right, I’m sorry I made you watch it since you hated it so much. Just hurry up and pick something,” she said.
“Okay, let’s try a classic.” He paused, thinking to himself for a moment before he continued, “How about An Affair to Remember?” He smiled jokingly. “It’s heart wrenching, so you should love it!”
“I’ve seen it before – and you’re right – it is heart wrenching,” she said matter-of-factly, trying to keep a straight face. “Oh, and by the way, I do love it.” They both burst into laughter. Irene started the movie and then walked back to the couch and sat down next to Max. He handed her the bowl of popcorn, and she held it on her lap as he picked up a beverage.
Irene became engrossed, and they had been watching the movie for some time before she finally realized that Max wasn’t looking at the TV – but at her. It seemed like they were sitting closer together than when the movie had started. Irene turned her head so that she could look at his face. She was puzzled by his unusual behavior. He just stared at her – saying nothing – but he was obviously deep in thought. She wondered what was on his mind. “What?” Irene questioned as she shrugged her shoulders casually. She was feeling more uncomfortable by the second. “Is something wrong?”
Max didn’t respond to her question. He just continued to stare intently at her confused face. Irene’s heart was pounding, and she held her breath. Never taking his eyes off her face, he took the popcorn bowl out of her hands and set it on the coffee table. Irene sat there motionless, holding her hands nervously in her lap. It all seemed to happen so fast, yet time also stood still. He slid a hand behind her neck, his thumb resting on her jaw. He gently held her head in place while he searched her eyes for an answer to his unspoken question. When she didn’t pull away, he drew her face close to his, and then he put his lips on hers. He kissed her hesitantly at first, not knowing how she’d react; but when her interest was unmistakable, he grew more assertive. He put his other arm around her and pulled her tightly against him. The kiss lasted for a long time, yet it didn’t seem nearly long enough for either of them. When it ended, they stayed in one another’s arms. Irene hoped that Max couldn’t tell that she’d never been kissed before – well, at least she’d never been kissed the way that he had just kissed her.
Max was stunned. He had just kissed his best friend – someone he had treated like a sister – up until this moment. He didn’t know what surprised him more, the fact that he had just kissed her or the fact that he had enjoyed it so much. Irene waited patiently for Max to say something about what had just happened. Max soon regained his composure and echoed her earlier question. “Is something wrong?” He paused – “No, nothing’s wrong – well, not anymore!” Max could tell that Irene seemed uneasy. “Are you sorry it happened?”
She smiled a half-smile at him, suddenly becoming shy. “No. No, I’m not sorry it happened.” She paused. She knew she had to ask, but she was afraid and uncertain of what his answer would be, “Are you?”
He looked closely at her, his face serious. “Definitely,” he paused watching as she braced herself for what
she thought was going to be a rejection. Then he smiled boldly at her – seeming pleased with the situation. His voice was firm, his answer indisputable, “Definitely – not!”
Chapter 11
In the weeks that followed their first kiss, Irene and Max had started officially dating. For the first time in a long while, Irene wasn’t troubled by her feelings for Max. In the past she had worried that he would end up finding out she was in love with him when he didn’t feel the same about her. Since their first kiss, she had gradually started to let her feelings show.
Irene often reflected on all the fun memories they had shared together, and the places they’d been. They made it a goal to cross all thirty bridges and arches in Central Park. Once they had, she decided that her favorite bridge was the Gothic Bridge. They attended a baseball game at Yankee Stadium where the Boston Red Sox played the New York Yankees. Since Max was a die-hard Red Sox fan – he ended up without a voice for days following the game because of all the screaming he had done. They visited the Conservatory Gardens repeatedly to see the famous Frances Hodgson Burnett Statue. The statue had been sculpted in honor of The Secret Garden, which was her favorite children’s book. It was the last book her mother had read to her before she died. Irene and Max would sit by the statue while reading the classic tale aloud together. They jogged and roller bladed through Tompkins Square Park – which was their favorite park in New York because it was less frequented by tourists. They dined at Serendipity 3, where they sampled some of its acclaimed entrées and desserts that they had heard so much about.
One evening while at Serendipity, Irene told Max that she had a ballet performance coming up for school at the beginning of December. She told him that after careful consideration – and since they were officially dating – she was going to let him come to the performance. He was taken off guard. He told her that he never thought she’d budge on the terms of the deal they had made so long ago. She then informed him that she was going to be performing a principal role in the ballet. Otherwise, she would not have “budged” on the terms of their deal! He was thrilled about her invitation. Finally he was going to see her dance for the very first time. Irene was in love with him, more than ever before, and it seemed clear from his behavior that he felt something too.