***
Irene arrived at Max’s apartment late one Monday evening. The two had agreed to meet earlier that day when they talked on the phone. She hadn’t seen him since the previous Thursday because he needed to go home to Boston for the weekend to take care of some personal matters. She knocked on the door and waited patiently for him to answer. When he opened the door they both smiled, and he stood aside so that she could walk through the doorway. The November night was frigid. She wore a quilted black coat, scarf, and gloves – which he helped her remove after he shut the door. Her cheeks were red from the cold, and her eyes were bright. She rubbed her hands together, trying to warm them up. She looked at Max and smiled. “It’s freezing out there. I’m glad you’re back. Did you have a good trip?”
“Yeah, it was fine. I don’t remember last year being quite this cold. Come on and sit down,” he said gesturing for her to sit on the couch. She sat down – yet he remained standing. He started to nervously pace back and forth – not sure exactly how to begin.
Irene sensed his anxiousness and spoke trying to make things easier for him. “I’m glad you called, Max. You said that you needed to tell me something – and I have something that I need to tell you.”
“You go first,” he responded quickly.
Irene looked up at him, still seated on the couch. She was no longer comfortable. Self-consciously she tucked her hair behind her ear and clasped her hands together to prevent their shaking. She took a deep breath. The moment had finally arrived to tell Max the truth about how she felt about him. “We’ve known each other a long time. Max, you’re my best friend, and you know how much my family loves you.” She paused trying to collect her scattered thoughts before continuing, “I have loved being here in New York with you the past few months. I mean we’ve spent so much time together. It feels just like the good old days. It’s been so amazing, and I want you to know that I have enjoyed every minute of it.”
Irene drew an audible breath. Max looked at her but remained silent, not certain where the conversation was going. She stood up and turned her back to him. “What I’m trying to say and . . . struggling really hard to, is that,” she turned back to face him, “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I finally admitted it the day that we opened our admission letters together.” She smiled sweetly at him. He stood motionless, still not speaking. “Please say something, Max.”
He cleared his throat. “Irene, I called you this afternoon and asked you to come here because I need to tell you that,” he paused, “Tweed and I have decided to get married.” Irene’s smile vanished. Her expression was one of disbelief, and her bright eyes were now beginning to fill with tears. “You know that we were taking a step back to think things over. Well, we’ve stayed in touch during the last few months, visiting each other off and on. Things have been going really well lately. This past weekend I actually went home to Boston to see Tweed,” he paused, trying to explain his actions as best he could, “and I asked her to marry me. I’m sorry Irene. I never meant to hurt you.” She was devastated by the words she had just heard. She was embarrassed and felt like a fool.
“You went home to visit Tweed and didn’t say anything?” Irene felt acute humiliation. While she had been in New York waiting anxiously for him to return, he was in Boston proposing to his old girlfriend – someone who hated her. She ran her hand through her hair dejectedly. While she and Max had been together, he had also been in contact with Tweed. She really couldn’t blame him for choosing Tweed over her. She was gorgeous and confident, and everyone worshiped her. She felt that the contrast between her and Tweed was more marked at that moment than ever. She felt even more self-conscious, plain, and pathetic than before. Irene felt betrayed and hurt in a way that she had never known or imagined.
“Irene, I’m so sorry. You know how much I love you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Please Max, you don’t need to explain. I get it – really I do.” She paused and tried to collect what was left of her dignity. “You love me – you’re just not in love with me.”
“Irene, let me explain . . .”
She looked down at the floor and tried to pull herself together. She gathered her coat off the couch, walked toward the door, turned and looked back into his eyes, and said, “Goodbye, Max.”
Chapter 12
Max walked into the theatre for Irene’s ballet performance. An usher gave him a program, and he proceeded to take his seat. He was eager to see Irene.
Max hadn’t been in contact with her since the night that he’d told her about his engagement to Tweed nearly a month ago. He’d called her repeatedly – he’d gone on numerous occasions to the Meredith Willson Residence Hall where she was living – and he’d also waited outside of several of her classes hoping to talk to her, to explain things to her – but so far, he hadn’t had the chance. She hadn’t returned his calls, and it wasn’t long before he learned that she had disconnected her cell phone. After several attempts, he finally caught up with Irene’s roommate as she was leaving the Samuel B. and David Rose Building where the residence hall occupied the top twelve floors. She was also unable to help Max – further explaining that she and Irene rarely saw each other. They had been assigned a room together, as was required of all freshman students attending Juilliard, yet they weren’t close.
It was clear Irene was avoiding him, but he wasn’t going to allow it any longer. She’d have to see him tonight after her performance. He had wondered how Irene would feel about his coming tonight, but this was the first chance he’d had to watch her dance. He wasn’t going to miss the opportunity – even if she didn’t want him there.
He removed his overcoat, sat down in his seat, and opened the program to glance through it. Inside was a small sheet of paper announcing that Irene Duncan would not be performing that evening. Someone else would be filling in for her. Max sat there for a moment, too surprised to move. Why was Irene not performing tonight? His mind started racing, and he grew increasingly worried. Finally, the anxiety was more than he could stand, and he collected his coat and quickly left the theatre.
Max arrived at Irene’s dorm and was just about to walk into the Rose Building when a girl walked out its front door and stopped him. The girl recognized him – she had seen him with Irene – and thought Irene was lucky to be with someone so handsome. She smiled at him flirtatiously but tried to keep her voice innocent. “Sorry to bother you, but haven’t I seen you around before with Irene Duncan?”
He stopped but was too preoccupied to notice or care that she was flirting with him. He smiled at her politely. “I guess so,” he responded as he tried to end the conversation. “I was just on my way to see if I could find her.” He started opening the door of the building so that he could go inside.
“But Irene’s not there.”
“What?” Max asked turning to face the girl as he let go of the door.
“I said she’s not there.”
“Do you happen to know where she is or when she’ll be back?”
“I don’t know where she’s gone, but I know that she won’t be back – seeing as she moved out.”
Max was silent, too taken back to speak. His heart started pounding, and in confusion he repeated, “She moved out?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
The girl paused for a moment, thinking to herself, and then looked at Max. “About a month ago, I’d say. Yeah, that’s about right. I passed her as I was coming in one day. There was a cab out front waiting with some luggage in it. She walked past me on her way out, said goodbye, and got into the cab. I haven’t seen her since.”
“She’s been gone for a month?” He was becoming more alarmed by the second. He’d been trying to track down Irene for weeks, and the whole time she’d been gone. When he had tried to see her in Boston at Thanksgiving, Duncan informed him that she had decided not to come home for the ho
liday. Max assumed that Irene had simply decided to stay in New York with friends over the break. That was obviously not the case. Max was growing more anxious. “Thanks for your help.”
He hurried off to his apartment. He was online booking a flight to Boston. He was determined to be on a plane that very night.
***
Max’s plane from New York arrived in Boston later that evening. He went directly to the Duncan home, knowing it was very late – but not caring. When he arrived, he rang the doorbell rather than letting himself in, due to the time of night. He paced nervously back and forth across the porch while he waited for an answer. Finally, the housekeeper, Mrs. Lewis, answered the door. She was dressed in her pajamas and appeared as if she had been disturbed from a sound sleep.
“Max! Is everything all right?” Duncan exclaimed as he walked down the front stairs into the entryway while he tied his burgundy, silk robe. “Is Blake okay?” With that last question, Mrs. Lewis stood aside so that Max could enter, closed the heavy oak door, and left to return to her room.
Max stopped in the entryway. “Blake’s fine, Duncan. That’s not why I’m here.” He paused for just a moment never taking his eyes off Duncan’s confused face. Max continued, “Where is she?”
“Who?”
“What do you mean, who?” Max replied sarcastically. “Irene, of course. Why didn’t you tell me that she’d moved?” Max was irritated and was getting angry. “When I came to see her at Thanksgiving, you didn’t say anything about it! You told me that she was still in New York!”
“Actually, if you’ll recall, I never said that Irene stayed in New York – only that she had decided not to come home for the holiday, which she didn’t. So, what I told you was accurate.”
“Duncan, please just tell me where she is.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I promised I wouldn’t.”
“Why would you promise that?” Max questioned.
Duncan hesitated a moment feeling uneasy. “Because Irene asked me not to.”
“She did what? Why would she ask such a thing?”
Before Max could go on Duncan interrupted, “Don’t ask me where she is because I won’t tell you.”
“When is she coming back?”
“She’s not. Max, she may never come back.”
“Please tell me where she is,” Max pleaded. He looked tormented.
“I’m sorry, Max.” Max took a breath and braced himself for what he knew was coming. “I love you like a son, but I won’t let you hurt her again. You broke her heart – and seeing her like that broke mine.”
Chapter 13
“All right, Dude, what’s the big emergency?” Luke asked as he walked into Blake’s home. “This had better be good. I haven’t even had a chance to go home yet. I drove straight here when I got your call.”
When Luke was driving home from New Haven for the Christmas holidays, he got a call from Max on his cell phone. Max said that he needed to see him as soon as he was in town and that it was very important.
“Let’s talk in the kitchen.” Max walked to the kitchen and Luke followed. Luke sat down on a bar stool and looked at Max. Max stood, leaning his weight against the granite counter, his arms folded. He said nothing.
Luke observed Max’s appearance. Although Max looked composed, he was far from it. Luke couldn’t help himself and said, “What’s up? You look like crap.” Max didn’t smile or respond to Luke’s joke. He waited patiently for Max to speak, but he didn’t. Luke was growing confused, took a breath, and cleared his throat. “So, are you going to tell me about your ‘big emergency’ or not? I mean as excited as I am too see you, don’t you think it could’ve waited until after I saw my family and unpacked?”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“How about the beginning, genius?” Luke’s face turned serious when he sensed Max’s discomfort. “I was kidding. What’s the matter with you?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Then you’d better start talking.”
“Well, of course you know that Tweed and I are engaged.”
Luke interrupted, “Who doesn’t? Tweed hasn’t stopped talking about it since it happened.” He laughed. “And I thought she liked to talk before. Now it seems that there’s no shutting her up!”
“Yeah, well, my problem comes down to the moment when I told Irene about our engagement. I guess you could say it was kind of a surprise for her.”
“Well, we were all a little surprised when it happened . . . I mean, you guys had broken up, and it seemed like it just kind of came out of nowhere.”
“I guess you could say that for Irene it really came out of nowhere.”
Luke paused for a moment. He knew where this was going and asked pointedly, “And why did it really come out of nowhere for Irene, any more so than for the rest of us?”
“Because we were sort of . . . um, dating at the time.”
“You were what?” Luke questioned in disbelief. After the initial shock, Luke’s mouth spread into a mocking grin. “You and Irene were dating? Now I find out! Man that’s some news that’s actually worth knowing.” Luke sat back and crossed his arms, enjoying Max’s discomfort. “So, Maxwell,” he jabbed, “exactly how long had you two been dating?”
“We started soon after we got to New York. We had a movie night almost every week. One night I couldn’t help myself, and I kissed her.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why’d you kiss her?”
Max took a deep breath as he recalled the fond memory of when he’d kissed Irene for the first time. His voice was a whisper, and he said longingly, “Because I wanted to.” He looked directly at Luke’s silent face. “I wanted to kiss her, Luke – I really wanted to.” He was admitting that fact to Luke – and to himself for the first time.
Luke nodded. “Okay, you kissed her. Then what?”
“We started dating. We were together whenever we had time. We did so many things together. I loved being with her.”
“Let me get this straight. After dating Irene for a while, you came home and proposed to Tweed?”
“That’s right. It’s hard to invest so much time and energy in a relationship – and when things started going well again with Tweed – I felt like I needed to give it another chance. I mean, we’d been together a long time.”
“So, let’s see if I understand this correctly. You broke things off with Tweed – started dating Irene – and loved every minute you spent with her – but you were also seeing Tweed at the same time. Things started going well again with Tweed – and you ended up getting engaged because you’d already invested so much in that relationship. Does that sum it up?”
Max looked depressed and nodded, “Basically.”
“So, what do you want to do now?”
“I want to see Irene.”
Luke shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, then see her.”
“She’s gone. She moved before the semester ended, and Duncan won’t tell me where she is.”
“Irene left New York!” Luke was surprised. “You’ve got to be kidding me. She dropped out of Juilliard in the middle of the semester?” Max nodded but said nothing. Luke thought to himself for a moment and then continued, “I’m assuming that she left after she found out that you and Tweed were engaged?” Max nodded again but still didn’t say anything. “And now Irene’s gone, and her father won’t tell you where she is. Is that right?” Again Max nodded – more uneasy the more Luke clarified the situation. Luke paused then continued without any reservation, “I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t tell you where she was either, you big schmuck!”
“I know, okay? I’ve felt horrible since it happened, and that’s not the worst of it. Not only we’re we dating, but right before I told her I was engaged, she had told me that she was in love with me . . . and that she had been for a long time.” Max was
distraught. He ran his hand through his hair. “How could I have done this to her?” His voice clogged with emotion. “It all just happened so fast. I made a mistake, and before I could try to explain, she was gone. She’s gone, Luke.”
“Can you blame her? She probably felt humiliated. I mean she told you that she was in love with you, and you told her that you were engaged to someone else!” It seemed obvious that Irene had felt so embarrassed about what happened that she ended up leaving without telling anyone where she was going.
Luke knew at that moment that although Max was engaged to Tweed, he definitely had feelings for Irene. Finally, Luke asked quietly, “So, I guess the question now is what do you want to do?”
“I want to see Irene.”
Luke nodded. “Then you should.”
“It’s too late. I should have told her that I was still seeing Tweed and tried to explain things to her. Now I may never get the chance.”
Chapter 14
“You’re what!” Tweed screamed at Max. “You’re calling off our engagement? Nobody breaks up with me, and you can bet that nobody’s stupid enough to break up with me twice.”
“Tweed, I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore.”
“But we are engaged!”
“Were engaged.”
“But I thought . . .”
“I know what you thought and I’m sorry, but I made a mistake.” Max tried to remain calm, despite that at any moment he was sure Tweed was going to lose it. He felt that she might end up maiming him before they finished this turbulent encounter. Max knew that Luke would have loved to have been there. When Max had told him earlier in the day that he was breaking things off with her that evening, Luke begged him to let him come and watch the spectacle. He told Max it was one of those things when hearing about it simply wouldn’t do it justice. Max knew that Tweed was going to be furious but realized it was time to end their relationship once and for all.