“Shit,” I exclaimed, clutching my hands into fists as I controlled the urge to punch a wall.
“Everything okay, Rear?” I turned to see Chris watching me wearily. “Are the baby and Aunt Z okay?”
“Yeah, buddy, of course, they’re both doing fine,” I said, feeling embarrassed about my outburst and guilty for making him worry. “C’mon, let’s go in with everyone.”
I shot one last look down the hall, then led Chris into the room with everyone to wait.
Chapter Thirty-Four ~ Chloe
I plastered on a smile and left my worries and frustrations at the door, then went inside to see my baby sister.
“Oh, Chloe, thank God you’re here,” Zoey said from her place in the bed. I could hear the beeping of the machines and see the cords and lines running from them to Zoey.
“Hey, Zo, you doing okay?” I asked as I walked to her, giving Gabe a smile as I passed him.
“Gabe won’t listen to me, so I need you,” she began. Her face was pink and there was a sheen of sweat on her forehead. I saw her teeth clench and her body tense and knew she was getting hit with a contraction.
“Don’t tense up, Zo, just breathe. Breathe and try to relax,” I said calmly, one hand going to grasp hers while the other brushed her hair back.
“Can you tell them,” she pleaded, and I saw her body sag as the contraction eased.
“Tell them what, baby?”
“I’ve changed my mind.” Zoey’s voice held a tinge of panic now. “Tell the doctors that I’ve changed my mind. I’m not ready. I want to go home.”
I wanted to laugh, but the frightened look on my sister’s face tampered it down.
“It’s going to be fine,” I assured her. “You’re doing great.”
Gabe crossed to her other side and picked up her free hand.
“You can do this, babe. Just think, today we get to meet our baby.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Zoey replied, her breath catching as she fought back tears. “You’re not the one whose body has thunder and lightning erupting inside of it.”
She turned back to me and pleaded, “I want to go home. Please, let me go home.” Then she tried another tactic and said, “We have to go feed the dog.”
“Zoey, honey,” Gabe said softly, “We don’t have a dog.”
Zoey started crying at that and said, “But I want a dog…”
Gabe looked adorably out of his element, and I could tell he was about to promise her a dog when his worried eyes caught mine. I shook my head, silently warning him that having a new dog and a new baby at the same time would not be a good idea.
“Don’t you want to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Gabe asked, trying to change the subject.
Zoey was crying and shaking her head, another contraction hitting her, when the nurse came back in.
“Let’s go ahead and see how things are going, shall we?” she asked as she positioned herself at the bottom of the bed.
“Can I go home?” Zoey begged, but the nurse just smiled gently at her and said, “Not yet, honey, but soon you and your baby will get to go home.”
“Is it too late for the epidural?” Zoey asked, her head popping up, and I passed her a tissue for her face.
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that; you’re at ten centimeters. I’m going to go get the doctor and be right back.”
“Oh no!” Zoey wailed, and I could see that the contractions were coming stronger and sooner now. “Chloe, you could get into bed and pretend to be me. I’ll sneak out down the stairwell.”
“Maybe you can write that into your next book,” I said happily as the doctor and nurse came back in. “But I can’t be a substitute for the miracle that’s about to happen.”
“Oh, shove your miracle,” Zoey said, but I just smiled and held on.
“All right, Zoey, don’t push until I tell you,” the doctor said.
“I have to push,” Zoey said suddenly, her breaths coming in shallow and sharp.
“Breathe,” I urged, then showed her how.
“It’s like I have no control; this baby is ready…”
“Okay, push.”
Zoey was right; her baby was ready, and after three pushes, I heard the beautiful cries of a newborn babe.
“She’s a girl!”
Suddenly we were all laughing and crying. Even Gabe had tears in his eyes as he cut the cord and their new daughter was laid across Zoey’s chest.
“She’s beautiful,” Zoey said, all thoughts of leaving and dogs gone.
“We’ll just get her cleaned up and bring her right back,” the nurse said.
Zoey started reaching out to snatch her baby back, when her face screwed up and she said, “Oh!”
“It’s just the afterbirth,” the doctor said. “Can you give me one more push?”
Gabe looked like he was about to throw up or pass out when he saw what the doctor pulled out, then his eyes hit mine and he said, “They didn’t say anything about that in the childbirth class.”
I laughed and turned to my sister.
“You did so great; she’s amazing.”
“Dad, would you like to come with us to give your daughter her first bath?”
“Yes,” Gabe replied eagerly, then turned back to Zoey. “Will you be okay?”
Zoey nodded and replied, “Just hurry and bring her back to me.”
Zoey laid back against the pillows, exhausted and happy.
“Once we’re done in here, we’ll get you cleaned up and moved to your permanent room. Your husband and baby will meet you there.”
While the staff did their business, I brushed my hand over Zoey’s cheek and asked, “Did you decide on a name?”
She turned her head on the pillow and said reverently, “Evie Noelle Lewis.”
“That’s perfect. She’s perfect.”
“I can’t believe it,” Zoey said, her eyes filling with happy tears once again.
“I know, you’re a mommy,” I replied, choking up myself.
“Can you call Mom and Dad for me? Everything happened so fast, that I didn’t get the chance.”
“I called them on the ride over.”
“Thanks, Chloe, I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”
“I love you, Zo. There’s no place I’d rather be.”
“I love you too, Chlo.”
“Okay, we’re ready to move you. We’ll be taking her to 1125,” the nurse called out, hands on the mobile bed Zoey was currently in.
“Is there anyone you want me to send in first?” I asked Zoey before they whisked her away.
“Just you and Christopher for now.”
Chapter Thirty-Five ~ Reardon
I waited until Aunt Annabeth and Uncle Zeke had some time with their new grandbaby before heading in to see my new baby cousin.
I’d gone to the gift shop, so I had a dozen pink roses in one hand and a giant teddy bear in the other.
“Hello, hello,” I called softly as I walked into the hospital room.
Gabe was seated on the edge of Zoey’s bed, and they were both gazing down at the little wrapped bundle in her arms. Their eyes shot to mine at my greeting, and the matching smiles of joy on their faces were catchy.
I placed the items on the window sill, which seemed to be the only available space, then crossed to give my cousin a clap on the back.
“Congrats, Daddy.”
“Thanks,” Gabe said, his eyes never leaving his new daughter.
“Great job, Zo,” I added, smiling at my cousin’s radiant wife.
“Thanks, Rear. Do you want to hold her?”
I took a step back and said, “Oh, uh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’ve never held a baby before.”
“It’s okay, you won’t break her, I promise,” Zoey replied with a happy laugh.
“Sit,” Gabe ordered, and I sat, watching warily as he picked up the squirming baby. “Hold out your arms.”
I held my arms straight out awkwardly, my heart beating lo
udly in my chest.
Gabe chuckled, but I didn’t care. All of my focus was centered on that little pink bundle.
“Keep her head cradled on your arm,” he instructed, laying her in the crook of my elbow. “Then bring your other hand underneath to hold her securely.”
“Like this?” I asked, my gaze darting nervously from his face to the baby’s.
“Yeah, just like that,” he replied, then backed away and went back to Zoey.
I wanted to call out and tell him to stay put, just in case she reacted like a jumping frog and bolted out of my arms, but I found myself speechless as I started down at her little face.
Her cheeks were rosy, and her little lips puckered. There was a shock of dark hair peeking out of the small knit cap that was covering her head, and her breathing was even as she dozed off in my arms.
I snuggled her closer, reveling in how soft and warm she felt against my chest.
“She’s precious,” I said quietly, so as not to wake her up.
“Isn’t she just the best?” Zoey asked, pride evident in her voice.
“What’s her name?”
“Evie,” Gabe answered, and I brought my head up to grin at Zoey.
“Great name.”
Gabe’s expression showed his confusion as he looked between me and Zoey.
“Let me guess,” he began as the light cleared. “Evie is the name of either a movie, comic book, or book character.”
Zoey and I just grinned.
“I should have known,” he said, then his face broke with a grin. “Doesn’t matter, she’s obviously Evie.”
I looked back down and her perfect little features and said, “Yeah, she sure is.”
The door opened and Chris came rushing in.
“Hey, Rear, isn’t my sister awesome?”
“She sure is,” I replied, my eyes on the door as I waited for Chloe to follow behind him. When the door remained closed, I asked, “Where’s your mom?”
“Oh, in the rush to get here, we kind of forgot my bag at home, so Chlo offered to go grab it,” Zoey explained.
I nodded, but inside I was worried that I hadn’t had the chance to see or talk to her since that scene in the waiting room. I hated that she left before I could respond, and that it had probably seemed to her like I hadn’t stuck up for her … for us. I needed to see her and get an idea of where her head was, and assure her that my aunt’s opinions had no bearing on our relationship.
The door opened again and a nurse walked in.
“It’s time to try and feed her again.”
“That’s my cue,” I said with a smile, then looked to my cousin and said, “I’m not ready to stand with her yet, can you grab her?”
Gabe lifted her out of my arms and snuggled her close, as if he’d been handling babies all of his life.
“Don’t worry, Evie, we’ll teach Uncle Rear what’s up,” he cooed as he gave her a kiss on her nose, then settled her in Zoey’s waiting arms.
“C’mon, Chris, let’s give them some privacy,” I said, then led him out of the room. “Hey, I was thinking of going out to grab food for everyone, want to go with?”
“Yeah, sure, it’ll be good to get out of here for a while,” he replied.
We went into the waiting room to take orders, but the consensus was that everyone needed to get a break, so we decided to all go out to dinner, then bring Gabe and Zoey food back.
I shot Chloe a text, hoping to meet up with her.
We are all heading to the Diner for food. Want to join or me to bring something back?
It wasn’t until we arrived at the diner that she texted back.
No, I’m good. I grabbed something on my way to get the bag. Can you bring Chris home with you when you’re done?
Of Course.
Thanks.
I was disappointed that I wouldn’t have the chance to see her and talk for another few hours, but I vowed that I’d speak with her face to face tonight, and sort this all out.
Chapter Thirty-Six ~ Chloe
I hadn’t lied, at least, not entirely. I had picked up a bag of chocolate chip cookies and a bag of Jalapeno Crunchers at the drug store when I went to buy five pregnancy tests. Maybe it wasn’t technically a meal, but I knew there was no way I could meet everyone at the diner and sit through a meal.
Not after what Annabeth had said.
And, not until I knew whether or not I had a baby growing inside of me.
I dropped off the duffle bag of Zoey and Evie’s hospital things to Zoey and Gabe. Luckily, Evie was breastfeeding and the nurse was answering their questions, so I was able to slip in and out quickly, mouthing “I’ll be back” to my sister.
I was grateful that Chris was with Reardon, not only so he could bring him back home later, but because that meant I had the house to myself. And I really needed to be alone for what I was about to do.
I threw everything except the pregnancy tests on the counter, then walked directly to the bathroom and started peeing. I peed on all five sticks, laid them out on the bathtub rim, and walked out.
After washing my hands, I set the kitchen timer and opened the bag of chocolate chip cookies and went to town while I waited.
What the hell is wrong with me, I wondered. Could history really be repeating itself right now? Is a drunken mistake at a wedding really going to result in my second pregnancy?
What is it about me and the men in this family? Am I cursed? Doomed? Fated to have another Lewis child out of wedlock?
My parents would be so proud…
The timer went off, so I set the cookies down and wiped the tears off my cheeks. Tears I hadn’t even realized I’d been shedding.
“No use in getting all worked up before I even know the results,” I chided myself out loud.
Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulder and marched back to the bathroom. Okay, maybe march was the wrong word. It was more like an elderly shuffle.
I was in no hurry to look at those damn sticks.
“Fuck,” I whispered, my hands holding onto the doorjamb of the bathroom, as if I were trying to keep myself safe during an earthquake.
I closed my eyes and mentally told myself to stop being a baby, then opened them and put my determined face on.
I moved slowly toward the tub, my neck craning to try and see before I got there, like I was looking out for spiders or something.
Stopping suddenly, my breath hitched as I noticed varying degrees of positive signs. A smiley face, two pink lines, one blue cross, one red t, and one that simply stated, pregnant.
I guessed it didn’t get much clearer than that.
Shit.
Sitting on the toilet, I dropped my head into my hands and wondered what the hell I was going to do.
I imagined all of the things Reardon and Gabe’s family would say and think. I imagined what Chris would think. Zoey. My parents. The entire town of Cherry Springs. I’d be forever labeled the woman who got drunk at parties and pregnant with Lewis babies.
Oh God … I’d come here to start fresh, and to give Christopher a chance to have a big, loving family, and now I’d gone and screwed it all up.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, on the chilly porcelain, my life flashing before my eyes for the second time in fourteen years, wondering woefully, why me? It must have been a while, because the next thing I knew I heard Chris yelling for me from somewhere in the house.
“Mom? Steve and Adrian are outside and wanted to know if I could come out … Can I?”
“Yes!” I shouted back, happy not to have to face him yet.
After a few more minutes, I heard footsteps in the hall, and then a knock sounded on the bathroom door.
“Chloe?”
It was Reardon, not Chris, who was seeking me out.
Oh, it was on.
Standing quickly, I rushed to the door and threw it open.
“Hey, are you o…” Reardon began, then he saw my face and stopped talking, one second before my palm slammed into his chest and mo
ved him back.
“You!” I shouted, years of pain, doubt, and shame erupting from me. I needed an outlet for my despair, and he was standing right in front of me. I was no longer able to think and reason; all I could do was feel.
“You’re no better than your cousin, the elusive, all-powerful, Gabriel Lewis. I should have known better. I did know better, but I let myself be charmed by your Viking good looks and geeky behavior. So stupid!” I was in full-on rant mode, so I didn’t notice when Reardon’s concern and shock turned to anger. I was too riled up.
“But you’re all the same, taking advantage of the fact that I’d been drinking. No, actually plying me with shots, even though I told you I didn’t want to do them.”
“Are you being serious right now?” Reardon managed, but I held up my hand to shut him up.
“Yes, I’m being serious,” I mocked nastily. “How else do you explain it, huh? How do you explain that fact that on two separate occasions, both of which I drank more than usual, both of which I did something completely out of character? Tell me, how?”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about right now, Chloe, or why you’re suddenly pissed off and regretting something that happened weeks ago, but comparing what’s happening with us to what happened that night with Gabe is a low fucking blow,” Reardon said, gently removing my hand from his chest and turning away.
“Don’t you walk away from me!” I shouted, and I vaguely wondered who this woman was that I’d become.
“You’re raving right now, and I can’t talk to you,” was his reply.
“Raving?” I raved, incredulously. “I’m raving? Well, how do you expect me to react when I find out that I’m pregnant, again, after a drunken encounter with a Lewis cousin, again?”
That stopped him in his tracks.
Reardon turned slowly until he was fully facing me. I could see the emotion playing across his face. Shock, awe, excitement, and finally utter joy, but I was too far gone to care.
“No,” I yelled, holding my hand up to stop him once again. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t talk to you, listen to you, or look at you … Just go.”