“Might I suggest putting our son to bed?” Crew’s eyes lifted up the stairs to the second floor. “We’ve got to have a talk. A long one.”
I eyed the front door behind him. His brow lifted, a challenge in his eyes. Even with the full use of my body, I’d be lucky to make it past him to get out the door. I wouldn’t make it two steps with Keenan in my arms.
When I turned to move up the stairs, Crew followed me, pulling my phone out of my back pocket. “You’re smarter than you look.”
Keeping myself angled so I could keep one eye on Crew and one on the stairs, I took them one step at a time. I had so much adrenaline in my system when I reached the top, I could taste it in the back of my throat.
Crew stayed a few steps behind, stalking me the entire way up. He stayed at the door of Keenan’s room when I carried him inside. Laying him down and letting go was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, because I wasn’t sure if this was the last time I would get to hold my son. I wasn’t sure if this was the last time I’d get to see him.
Sliding the headphones over his head for the first time in weeks, I kissed his cheek. I silently said a few words to him in my mind, then I turned to face whatever awaited me. Crew stood in the hallway when I stepped out of the bedroom, closing the door.
His hand went behind my head, his fingers lacing through my hair, as he pushed me into our bedroom. “We’re going to have a discussion. About loyalty.”
When we were inside, he shoved me away, hard enough that my feet tangled and I hit the floor. He hadn’t even hit me, and I’d already fallen. The beating hadn’t even started, and I felt broken.
“Your definition of loyalty?” I curled my legs beneath me to stand. “Does this include or exclude you screwing Gina Meyers behind my back?”
Crew stopped in the middle of rolling up his shirtsleeves. “You caught me. Good for you,” he said, dripping condescension. “And you know what? It isn’t really a discussion I want to have about loyalty.”
Crew’s arm swung around, his fist connecting with my cheek. It was so powerful, my vision blacked out for a moment as I spilled to the floor again.
“It’s more of a lesson on loyalty.”
It took a moment for my vision to clear, the taste of blood mixing with saliva in my mouth. My head was ringing, and he sounded like he was speaking in a tunnel. The pain was searing, but the anger crawling out from deep inside me was stronger. He had taken so much from me, the smallest of those robberies being my sense of safety. I’d lost so much to him, given him too much—I wasn’t handing over one more fucking thing.
Forcing my hands beneath me, I lifted my upper half. Doing the same with my feet, I forced the rest up.
Crew laughed a dark note as he watched me try to stand. His eyes played that dark note next when he saw me succeed.
“Stay down.” This time it was his other arm, the other fist, my other cheek, that sent me crashing back to the floor.
More blood. More ringing. More pain. More anger.
Fight back. Brecken’s voice echoed in my head. You don’t play dead with the devil. You fight back.
I focused on my breath as I pushed myself up again, counting to three to clear my mind.
What parts of his body do you want to target? What parts of your body do you want to use?
It was as if he was with me, right now, in this room. It was as though this were just another training session, this one with blood and bruised knuckles.
When Crew’s arm came around this time, I managed to step out of the way. From the look on his face, I wasn’t sure he’d ever been so surprised by anything in his life.
“You think because you know a few self-defense tricks, it’s going to save you?”
As he circled around me, I circled with him. Never take your eyes off of the attacker. Never let them take you by surprise.
“No,” I answered, having to move my jaw to finish my sentence. “But I’m not going to be the only one bruised and bloodied this time.”
Crew stopped moving, his expression faltering. He recovered quickly, but I knew he was reeling. I knew he was trying to figure out what had happened to me and why I wasn’t curling into a ball on the floor while he beat the shit out of me like before.
When he moved, it was like lightning, a flash of movement before the crack echoed through the room. He was shaking his fist from this hit, my eye already swelling shut.
“Stay. Down.” Crew hovered over me, thrusting his finger at where I was spread out beneath him. A couple of his knuckles were split open, thin red slits smirking down at me.
As soon as I started to try to get up, he moved to hit me again. This time, I was ready. This time, it wasn’t the voice of my teacher in my head guiding me; it was my intuition and instincts. Brecken had managed to work his lessons deep enough into my subconscious that my actions had become automatic.
Kicking, I smashed my foot into the side of his knee. As hard as I could. I kicked the same spot again when it didn’t send him spilling over. He went down this time, and I used his temporary immobilization to put some distance between us.
For the first time in my life, I was thankful for the whiskey. I was thankful he’d downed enough of it to put a lesser man into a coma. His weakness became my strength. His downfall my foothold.
“Stay the fuck down.” His lip curled over his teeth as he clutched at his knee.
Bracing my hand against the wall, I crawled up it, one hand at a time, until I was standing. Above him. Over him. It was the first time I’d been on two feet while he’d been collapsed below me.
“No.” My voice didn’t shake as I stared down at him. “You’re never going to stop trying to knock me down. And I’m never going to let you keep me down again. So where does that leave us? Stuck on this twisted carousel ride?”
Crew grabbed hold of the footboard and used it to pull himself up. I could have used the time it took him to stand up to run. To grab Keenan and run. But I didn’t want to spend my life running from him. Not when I’d already spent so much of it cowering beneath him.
Limping on his injured knee, he shuffled a couple of small steps toward me. It wasn’t until he started lunging that I realized he’d been faking the extent of the damage to his knee.
Before I could shove away from the wall, he was on me, pinning me to it by driving his forearm into my throat. His eyes were unrecognizable, his expression an eerie calm as he punched me in the stomach. My cough caught in my throat due to the way his forearm was rammed into it, restricting my airway until I felt like my eyes were going to burst.
“There’s nothing more pathetic than a bitch who thinks she’s tough enough to fight back.” Crew put his face in front of mine, pressing into my throat harder when it didn’t result in the typical brand of fear he was used to seeing in my eyes. “If you were meant to have a pair of balls, they would have dropped when you were still in the womb. Get back in line already, woman.”
Harnessing every last bit of strength I had left, I drove my knee into his groin. He instantly fell back, his forearm releasing me as he covered himself like he was shielding himself from any further attack.
“Thanks for the reminder.” My voice was raspy from having a forearm smashing into my vocal chords, but I’d never felt so outspoken.
When Crew charged this time, I was expecting him. Leaning to the side, I drove my foot into the front of his other knee, causing a cry to spill from his mouth as he dropped to the floor.
“You bitch. Who in the hell do you think you are?” When he tried to stand, his knee gave out. His fist drove into the floor, a frustrated bellow coming from him at the same time.
“The woman you married.” I shoved off of the wall, sliding the ring off my finger. I threw it on the floor in front of him as the blood dripping from my face splattered around it. “Who in the hell do you think you are?”
At first he chuckled, like this was an amusing game. Then he fell forward, grabbing for my legs as I backed away. I’d almost put enough dista
nce between us, but I felt his hand snag one of my feet. Just enough to trip me up. When I hit the floor, the air rushed out of my lungs, but I knew I had to move.
He got a hand around my ankle before I could, and he used his strength to pull me back far enough that he could get his other hand around my other leg. “Come here, wife. I want to show you who in the hell I think I am.”
He twisted me around, getting both of my legs pinned beneath him so I couldn’t kick him. He kept his head just out of reach from my arms too, leaving me feeling powerless. He crawled up my body, sitting over me once he’d pinned my hips. When I moved to drive my palm into his throat, he blocked it, immediately following it with his own thrust to my throat.
I coughed, curling up off the floor as I reached for my throat. His fist came around to send me back down.
Trying to overpower him wouldn’t work. I had to be smarter. Flattening my hand, I moved to drive the knife-edge of it into the side of his throat. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed until I cried out from the pain. That only made him squeeze harder, clamping down until I felt like my wrist was going to snap off.
Right before I felt myself about to pass out, he let go. My arm fell like a piece of yarn to my chest, my wrist feeling as though it were burning from the inside out.
“What else have you got? What else did that soldier hero try to teach you to protect yourself?” Crew was smirking at me as he held his hands at his sides. “Because this is kind of fun. It’s turning me on when you fight back.”
When he rocked his hips into my stomach, I felt his erection straining against his pants. Bile rose up in my throat, churning my insides when I realized how there was no end to the sickness that ran in this man’s blood. When he rubbed himself against me again, I thrust both of my fists into him as hard as I could. He barely seemed to notice. Another chuckle was followed by his fists hitting their own mark.
My head lurched to the left from the second fist, my right ear ringing from where he’d hit me. I felt fresh rivers of warmth flowing out of me, my head throbbing so hard I felt sure my brain would dissolve. I’d never been in such a dire situation, but somehow, I felt indestructible.
I heard my phone ringing downstairs. The sound of my son breathing a room away. The beat of my heart drumming. The flutter of the moth’s wings beating against the window outside. I could hear every little sound except for the sound of the man still laughing above me. I’d become immune to him. Absolved of my monster.
That was when I saw what had been left under the bed. A belt. Crew’s. The same one he’d used to beat the shit out of me the night before he left in search of “help.”
Help was on its way.
My arm stretched under the bed. My fingers curled around the metal buckle.
Brecken’s voice was back in my head, his words and lessons playing on a loop. Use what you’ve got. A bottle. A shoe. A key.
The metal prong of a belt buckle.
Shoving the prong between my fingers, I swung my hand into him again.
He wasn’t laughing anymore.
When I pulled my hand back, a red dot started to bleed through his shirt.
He stared at his side, blinking like what he was seeing wasn’t real. The instant his body tensed, I slammed my hand back into his side, the prong piercing him again. He wailed, teetering to the side enough for me to crawl away. I kept the belt in my hand, primed and ready for when he came at me again.
But Crew continued to scoot away from me, keeping his hand pressed into his side as he moved toward the opposite side of the room.
Get up. Get out.
I could do this. I could find the strength I needed to push myself up, grab Keenan, and get out of here.
A floor below, there was a crash, followed by a shattering sound that echoed up the stairs, but I kept moving toward the door. Away from Crew. Away from this house of horrors.
In the back of my mind, I heard Brecken’s voice calling my name. It wasn’t in the same calm tenor as his instructions. It wasn’t until I saw the flash of movement in the doorway, followed by a bellow as he took in the room, that I realized I wasn’t hearing him in my head anymore. He was here.
Brecken flew in front of me, putting himself between Crew and me, and slid to his knees. “Oh Christ.” He was staring at me, looking lost as he scanned me spread out on the carpet. “What did he do to you, baby? What did he fucking do?”
The lost look left his face, something dark taking its place as his head twisted toward where Crew was still drifting into the corner.
“Brecken, I’m okay.” My free hand covered his, which was balling into a fist.
Hearing my words, followed by another inspection of my body, made him go rigid. His glare landed on Crew as Brecken’s body quivered from the emotions he was barely managing to keep control of.
“I’m going to kill you.” Brecken started to rise, his voice sinister. “But first, you’re going to suffer.”
My hand held on to his, winding around it tighter as he started to move away. “Brecken, look at me.” I waited for him to take another look. A different kind. Sitting up, I ran my hands down my body, my one hand still clutching the metal buckle. “Look at him.”
Brecken followed my eyes to the man slithering away.
“I did it. I fought back.” I got my feet below me to stand, using Brecken to guide me up. Standing beside him, I stared across the room, not missing the difference in the current shape or position of our bodies. “I won.”
Brecken’s hand lifted to my face, like he wanted to touch me but was afraid it would hurt. “Damn straight you did. And now I’m going to finish it.”
Crew’s gravelly chuckle came from his body on the other side of the room, now tucked between a window and the dresser. “Come on, hero. Hit a guy when he’s on the ground. Prove the kind of man you are.” Crew lifted his hand, inviting Brecken over in a mocking fashion. “Show her what you’re going to do to me.”
The first step Brecken took toward Crew, I cut in front of him. My hand molded onto his chest, my swollen eyes lifting to his. He was too focused on Crew to notice.
“Worst case, Brecken. This is it. I’m ready. Leave with us.”
That was when his gaze lowered. His face drew up when he saw my face up close. “I can’t let him get away with doing this to you. I can’t let him get away with everything he’s ever done to you.”
When Brecken slid me aside to pass, I moved in front of him again. “No matter what you do to him, it won’t change what he’s done to me.”
“No. But it will make me feel better.” Brecken’s lip curled when Crew’s chuckle continued to roll across the room.
“Come on, tough guy. I know you want to. I know you want to beat my ass for being the guy who fucked your girl for six years.”
“That’s not the reason I want to beat your ass, you son of a bitch.” Brecken’s finger stabbed in Crew’s direction. “I want to make you hurt because you beat the woman I loved for six years. You fucking tortured her.”
My hand lifted to his face, feeling the way his whole body was shaking. I gently tipped his head down so it was aligned with mine. “Leave with us. Don’t stay because of him.”
For a minute, the room was quiet. Then Brecken’s chest rattled as he blew out a breath like he was trying to purge himself of something evil.
“Camryn?” He swallowed, still fighting himself. “Go get Keenan and get in the car. When you’re both inside, honk once you make it into the street. I’ll meet you then.” He slid me behind him after that, blocking me entirely from Crew.
“I’m a beaten man.” Crew coughed. “What do you think I’m going to do? Spit on her?”
Brecken stepped toward him before stopping. “You try, and you’ll be spitting into a tube for the rest of your life.” When he noticed me still behind him, lingering, he pointed at the door. “Get Keenan. I’ll meet you both outside.”
A smile started to move across my mouth. He tried his hardest to mirror it.
“If you t
hink I’m letting you run away with my wife and my boy, you are one dumb fuck.” All notes of laughter were gone from Crew’s voice. “You aren’t putting a finger on my son.”
My body moved before my head had made up its mind. The moment my eyes reached the monster across from me, my decision was made.
“He’s not your son.”
Silence.
From Crew.
From Brecken.
They were so quiet, I wondered if I’d said out loud what I’d been trying to. God knew I’d been trying to vocalize it for years.
“He’s not your son.” This time, my voice filled the whole room, no mistake.
It was Brecken who responded first, his head turning toward me. His chest was rising and falling hard, his brows drawn together. “Keenan? He’s …”
“Yours,” I said. “He’s your son.”
More lines creased into Brecken’s expression, his throat moving as he tried to accept what I’d just told him.
My eyes were practically swollen shut, but tears fell from them. “Now you know why. Now you know why I did what I did.” I had to stop to keep from choking on the sob I felt rising from deep within. “My dad, if he found out, when he found out, he would have …” My eyes closed when I put myself back into the hopelessness of that period in my life. “I didn’t realize I’d only exchanged one monster for another until it was too late.”
Something caught in Brecken’s throat. “I have a son?” he whispered to himself. “I have a son.” This time he was saying it to me.
The belt fell from my hand so I could grab his. “You have a son. Keenan’s yours.”
As the reality started to set in on Brecken’s face, little by little, Crew let out a grunt. “Premature, wasn’t that how you explained it to me?” His eyes narrowed on me. “That kid was always a bit of a disappointment. I guess this explains it.” He waved her finger between Brecken and me. “He was mothered by a whore, and fathered by a guy who was dumb enough to get caught by the enemy.”