My heart sped, and I had to take a step back to keep from touching him. I couldn’t think straight when he looked at me like that. “Probably a better idea to get something fast and get back to the list.”
He took another step closer. I took another back. We did this until I’d backed into the side of the building.
“This is worse than anything Denazen ever did to me. To be so close and yet have so much distance. To know I could hurt you—or worse—but still want so badly to touch you.”
“I know how you feel.”
He was inches away now. Warm breath puffed softly across my face. “I know there’s something you’re not telling me. It…bothers me.”
I couldn’t deny it. Not with him looking at me like that. Standing so close. “There are things you don’t tell me,” I said, breath catching.
He frowned. “That’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. The things I don’t tell you are in my past. They’re unpleasant.”
“In the past or not, they still affect you. They’re still part of your life.”
Spreading his arms, he placed a hand on either side of my head, palms flat against the wall. “I don’t want you to think of me at that place. The things they did. The things they made me do. I don’t tell you to shield you from that.”
“In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m not the kinda girl that needs shielding.” I gripped his cloth-covered arms and pushed him back a few inches. “And this thing I’m not telling you? It’s something like that. Something I don’t want to tell you so I can protect you.”
“I don’t like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “How about a compromise? I’ll tell you half?”
He looked skeptical but nodded. “Okay.”
I tugged him around to the side of the building. Thankfully it was trash day, and the Dumpster had been emptied. When I was sure we were alone, I ran my hands through my hair, picturing the brown it’d been in the days just after Sumrun.
Kale reached out and fingered a small lock of hair. “That’s why your hair turned green last night. You can change it now.”
“You don’t seem surprised.”
He frowned. “It was green when you left last night. It was blonde with blue when I saw you this morning. As Alex so helpfully pointed out last night, you wouldn’t have had time to dye it.”
Um, duh. Of course he would have noticed. Which begged the question; who else had noticed? Everyone, of course. How could they not? Mom had asked outside the hotel last night. I ignored it and she’d let it drop, but she couldn’t have been the only one who’d noticed. It was green, for Christ’s sake. Seriously, what was wrong with me? I’d never been lacking in common sense before. Sure, it was a little odd no one had said anything, but I guessed with everything going on, changing hair color wasn’t the most immediate thing on their minds.
“It’s a little out of control, though, hence the green. I didn’t do that on purpose—it just happened.” I ran my hands through my hair again. Back to blonde and blue streaks. “It’s not limited to touch anymore. It works through visual. I see it, I can mimic it.”
“And you can’t control it?”
On the street across from the alley, a large truck passed, and I had to wait for it to get to the end of the road so Kale would be able to hear me. “I can do it when I want to—so far—but sometimes it happens when I’m not trying.”
“That could be bad.”
“Tell me about it.”
He was quiet for a moment, then frowned. “You can change parts of yourself?”
“You sound worried,” I said as the bell above Shaker’s door rang again. Even though we were around the corner, every time someone opened the door, the smell of pizza wafted out. It was making my mouth water.
“I like you the way you are.”
That brought a smile to my face. Old-school Kale. Simple and to the point. “I’m not changing, I promise. My clothes, on the other hand…” I checked to make sure the coast was still clear. A couple was passing in front of the alley, pizza box in hand. I wanted till they were gone, then grabbed a handful of my borrowed black sweatpants. The fabric got stiff and tightened to fit snug around my thigh. The pair of jeans I’d tried on at the beginning of summer. They did awesome things for my ass. “Much nicer, ya think? And it’s not just me I can change, either—I think.”
I laid my palm flat against his chest. It felt good to touch him, even if there was a layer of cloth between us. Closing my eyes, I pictured deep purple. I didn’t know if it would work, but it was worth a shot. When I opened my eyes, Kale’s long-sleeved T-shirt had changed color. It was also a bit more snug. This could have its uses.
“Plus major win—no more headaches or brain-blurring nausea!”
He smiled for a moment, but it didn’t last. “You didn’t want to tell me that your abilities had increased? What does this have to do with that other boy? Able.”
“Nothing,” I said. I’d started to believe Dad was telling the truth about Able’s poison, sort of, and that made me even less likely to tell Kale. I knew what he’d say and how he’d react.
I knew what he’d want to do.
“Then you haven’t told me what I wanted to know. There’s something going on, and it involves him.”
“He’s just another Denazen flunky that works for Dad. There’s nothing going on.”
“Dez…”
“You’re gonna have to trust me, Kale. I have everything under control.”
He backed up a bit and sighed. He wasn’t buying it, but let it go.
And I felt like the worst girlfriend in history.
27
When we finished everything on Ginger’s list, there was a note at the bottom that instructed us to be at Bella’s, the newly opened Italian bakery, at exactly five-oh-five. We were to sit at the fourth table from the door and order coffee. Ten minutes later, Mom and Dax settled across from us.
“Any trouble?” Mom asked, looking between Kale and me.
“Nada,” I answered. Reaching for the sugar with my left hand, I cringed.
Kale, never missing anything, saw. “I knew you hurt your shoulder last night.” He twisted in his seat, eyeing me.
“Just a pulled muscle. Nothing to call the paramedics over.”
Kale was going to argue, I could see it in the stubborn set of his jaw, but rescue came from the most unlikely source. Jade.
“So what’d we miss?” She pulled a chair from the next table and wedged it between Kale and Dax. Kiernan sat down next to Mom. They’d both changed clothes.
“We were just about to vote you off the island,” I said, stirring my coffee.
“You’ve got my vote,” Kiernan said enthusiastically, glaring at Jade.
Dax pulled out a blue slip of paper. Sliding it across the table to Kale, he said, “You and Jade are going to head to this address. Work on your control. Someone will be by to get you when it’s time to head to the party.”
Grinning, Jade stood, looped her arm around Kale’s, and practically yanked him from the chair.
I couldn’t help my smile when Kale pulled free from her grip and leaned over my chair. “What about Dez?”
“Dez and Kiernan are supposed to head back to Meela’s and lay low until the party. Shanna and I are heading out to meet Alex and Barge.”
Kiernan glared at Jade. “Why can’t Dez and I lay low with Kale and Jade?”
Mom pointed to Jade, then me. “You can’t be in the same room at the same time for more than five minutes without attacking each other. A whole evening? No. We stick to Ginger’s instructions.”
“You’d just get in the way,” Jade said. “All those longing, puppy-dog stares you throw at him all the time… It’s amazing the guy hasn’t suffocated.”
“Dez doesn’t throw dog stares at me,” Kale said, coming to my rescue. “She just likes looking at me.” He turned, pinning me with a stare that made my chest tight. “And I like looking at her.”
>
Jade snorted. “Why?” she mumbled under her breath.
I started to stand, but Mom grabbed my arm. “And on that note, everybody scatter. Stay at your designated places until someone comes to retrieve you.”
“Shall we?” Next to Mom, Dax stood and held out his hand. She took it without hesitating. Oh. Yeah. Definitely something going on there.
Lately, I’d noticed a slight change. I was starting to think Dax had a big part in it. There was a slight age difference between them, but if they made each other happy, then who was I to judge?
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Going to stay out of trouble?”
I nodded.
“Say it.”
Looking him straight in the eye, I smiled sweetly. He’d know it was bullshit, but I hoped he wouldn’t narc me out. I knew that while he didn’t dislike Jade as much as I did, he also didn’t trust her. “Absolutely.”
He hesitated for a moment, and I held my breath. Finally, though, he nodded and left with Mom.
Kale sighed. “Please go straight back to Meela’s.”
I flashed him an innocent smile. “Of course. That’s where they told me to go.”
He hesitated for a moment before grabbing the sides of my face. Enough time had passed. With Jade there, the pain wasn’t horrible, but it was there. When I didn’t object—or more likely, pull away screaming—his mouth covered mine. For a moment, I forgot about the acid churning in my stomach and the increasing warmth where his fingers pressed against my skin. My lips were beginning to numb, and my jaw ached. The pins and needles danced—hell, they were moshing—just beneath the surface, determined to keep us apart. I deserved an Oscar for acting like it had no effect on me.
My arm came up, and I ran my fingers through his hair. If Kiernan hadn’t kicked me, God only knows how far I would have taken it just to show him—to show Jade—I could.
I tried to pull way, but Kale stopped me before I got too far. “Are you okay?”
My heart was racing, and almost every muscle in my body throbbed, but I forced a smile. “Are you kidding? After a kiss like that? I’m better than okay.”
He didn’t smile. “Please be careful.” Turning to Jade, he said, “Let’s go.”
As soon as they were out of earshot, I whirled on Kiernan. “Anything suspicious?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. She asked me to wait around the corner so she could chat privately with your dad.”
“I’m serious.”
“Nothing suspicious.” Kiernan winked and nodded to the road. “But let’s go see if we can dig something up.”
“You read my mind.”
…
We were able to easily catch up to Kale and Jade because she’d insisted they stop for ice cream. What the hell did she think this was—a date? We watched her slip inside the ice cream place on Harbor Drive, dragging a reluctant-looking Kale behind, and hung back while they put in their orders.
“Showtime,” I said, grabbing Kiernan’s hand and dragging her toward the building.
They were sitting in seats at the very back of the room. Thankfully, the booth behind them was empty. Using Kiernan’s ability, we’d be able to scoot up and listen to their conversation from right over their shoulders.
“Um, Dez, what happens if someone sits here? No one can see or hear us, but if someone sits on us, trust me, they’ll know.”
I gestured to the row of empty seats. “There are a few other seats open. What are the chances someone’s going to sit here? Now shh. I wanna hear what she’s saying.”
“No one will know if we sneak a quick treat,” Jade was saying with a giggle.
“Where I’m from, it’s a bad idea to disobey orders,” Kale said casually. He sat against the wall and alternated between looking from Jade to the front door. There was a steady stream of customers for takeout, but only a few stayed to sit.
“You mean Denazen?” Reaching across the table, she took his hand in hers. “What was it like there?”
What was it like there? Who the hell asks a POW how the food was in prison camp? This girl was a hell of a piece of work.
Kale’s expression was sad. “Dez asks me that a lot.”
“And what do you tell her?” Jade leaned back as the waitress returned to set a large metal cup in front of her, along with a spoon and extra-long straw. In front of Kale, she placed a soda.
“Not much. I don’t like to talk about Denazen with her.”
“Why not?”
Kale picked his hand off the table, Jade’s still attached. “Your hand is smaller than hers. It feels different.”
“Different? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
Kale smiled. A kick-start-my-heart-with-a-car-battery kind of grin. Warmth bloomed in the pit of my stomach—until I realized it wasn’t me he was smiling at. It was Jade.
“Good different,” he said, letting go so he could unwrap his straw.
I didn’t have to see Jade’s face to know she was beaming. “Mother—”
“Shh,” Kiernan hissed, nudging me with her shoulder. “I can’t hear.”
“So was it really that bad? Denazen?” Jade asked, taking a sip of her shake. “And oh, my God. You have to try this!”
Kale, polite as always, refused when she all but thrust a spoonful of creamy brown ice cream in his face. “Why do you want to know about them?”
Finally. Some common sense. Maybe now he’d see she was fishing for information.
Jade sighed and stuffed the spoon into her own mouth. “My dad used to work for them. Not the one in this town. His was in Seattle.”
Kale tensed. “He’s dead?”
“Of course not. He quit.”
His eyes narrowed. “No one quits. They’re terminated. I’ve personally terminated four previous employees.”
“He came home in the middle of the night, grabbed Mom and me and my sister, and we left. Didn’t pack. Didn’t say good-bye. Just left. He refuses to tell me why. I didn’t even know what Denazen did until Ginger told me.”
“Ha,” I whispered as a child screamed by the counter. Apparently his vanilla cone was too vanilla. “See? I told you.”
Kiernan rolled her eyes. “Told me what? This doesn’t prove a thing.”
“If I had been in Seattle, your father would not have gotten away alive,” Kale said bluntly.
Maybe Jade made a face. Or maybe she teared up. Whatever her expression, it caused Kale to frown. “I apologize. That was…unnecessary. Dez says I need to be less blunt.”
“Sounds to me like Dez wants to change you.”
“Change me?”
“She doesn’t like who you are. She wants you to act differently. Be someone you’re not. That thing you told me about? The counting? Perfect example.”
Kale took another sip of his soda, then frowned. “That’s bad?”
“Not if you want to let her control you.” She tilted herself forward, no doubt giving him a bird’s-eye view down her low-cut shirt.
“No one controls me. Not anymore.” His voice was even, but I heard the darkness beneath the surface. The danger. “Dez is trying to help me fit in here. Not control me.”
“I’m just saying, I think you’re fine the way you are.” She waved her spoon in his direction. “That temper you’re trying so hard to keep under wraps? It’s who you are.”
“No. It’s not. It’s who Denazen wanted me to be.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a guy having a bit of a temper. In my opinion, it’s kind of sexy.”
“Holy crap. She’s practically licking him,” Kiernan hissed. She adjusted herself in the seat to get a little closer.
Jade leaned back. “So you never said. Why don’t you talk about Denazen with Dez?”
“I don’t want her opinion of me to change.”
The spoon made an annoying clank as Jade scraped the bottom of her cup. “Why would you think it’d change?”
I leaned forward, breath held. I should have felt guilty about spying—I was here to find out ab
out Jade, not pry into Kale’s life—but I didn’t.
“I was a monster. I can’t erase the things I did, so I must still be one. Dez says I’m not, but she’s wrong. She doesn’t know.”
Scraping the last of the thick shake from the bottom, she pushed the cup aside and leaned forward on the table. “Why do you think you’re a monster?”
Kale looked from her to the cup. He tipped it over, eyes wide. “You finished it already?”
Her shoulders shook, and an annoying giggle filled the air. “It was so delish! Besides, a healthy appetite is sexy, right?”
Kale nodded. “Over the summer Dez challenged me to a hamburger-eating contest. She won.”
Jade’s irritation at the mention of my name was obvious. She visibly deflated, shoulders stiffening. “So, monster?”
“I’ve punished fifty-two people since I turned twelve. Forty-three men. Eight women. One child.”
“‘Punished’?”
“Killed.”
There were several moments of silence. She was probably trying to pick her jaw up off the floor. “Oh, Kale. Don’t beat yourself up over what happened.”
Don’t beat yourself up? On top of being an annoying little skank, this chick was an idiot. He tells her he murdered fifty-two people, and that’s what she says? Don’t beat yourself up?
“They made you do it, right?”
“Their methods of coercion are—persuasive.”
“Ohcrapohcrap,” Kiernan chanted, shoving me in to the corner of the booth.
All the empty tables in the place and a man the size of a Volvo has to wedge himself into this one? He crashed into the seat backing Jade’s—the one Kiernan and I were in—and his two kids climbed in across from him. One had a can of soda, the other was waving a headless Barbie doll that looked like it’d been dragged through the mud.
We were squashed against the wall, a few inches of free space separating us from the booth’s large new occupant. “Now what?”
Pounding the table and kicking the seat, the two kids screamed, demanding hot fudge sundaes.
“What’s that smell?” Kiernan pinched her nose.
As if to answer, the man next to us leaned toward the aisle slightly and fired off the most foul-smelling butt burp ever launched.