“OhmyGod.” I gagged. Frantically waving my hand back and forth to clear the air, I tried to lean over the seat to hear what Kale was saying. With the kids pounding on the table, it was impossible. I could see his lips moving but couldn’t quite make out the words.
“Move!” Kiernan pushed me up onto the table. “He’s about to blow again.”
She pushed past, knocking over the kid’s soda can in her haste. It tumbled off the table and into the younger one’s lap, inciting an entirely new crying jag.
“Quick! She’s heading to the bathroom.” Kiernan jerked me forward before I could dismount the table. I slipped in the soda and crashed to the floor, dragging her down with me.
Of course the chaos didn’t end there.
The Six version of a classic Lucy and Ethel bit, Kiernan and I, sprawled across the floor, didn’t have time to move. A woman in a pencil skirt and tacky blouse—something I might have expected Dad’s flunky Mercy to wear—came rushing down the aisle. I tried to move my leg, but the area was too narrow, and there was nowhere for it to go. Since we had somehow managed to not break contact, we were still cloaked by Kiernan’s ability. The woman’s foot caught under my knee, and she went flying—right toward Kale, who’d just gotten up from his table. In an attempt to save herself, the woman made a grab for him, but he jumped back onto the seat and out of her way. She crashed to the floor with a shriek, skirt splitting up the side.
I didn’t waste time. Hauling Kiernan off the ground, I steered us around the cursing woman and into the bathroom.
“Ugh. I don’t understand it,” Jade’s voice growled. I should have had this wrapped up by now.”
I gave Kiernan an I-told-you-so grin and scrunched down to see which stall Jade was skulking in. Last one on the right. “Come on.”
Inside the stall, Jade mumbled something too low for me to hear, then said, “I swear. I’ll get him.”
Slipping in to the stall next to her, I carefully closed the door. “Here.” I braced my hand against the divider wall. One foot balanced on the edge of the toilet, I said, “Grab my leg.”
“Grab your leg? You’re going to what, watch her take a dump?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s on her cell.”
Kiernan sighed and grabbed my ankle.
Hauling myself up, I lifted onto my toes. “Crap. I’m, like, an inch too short. Hang on.” Twisting, I placed my right foot on the toilet paper dispenser and hopped up.
“Stop moving,” Kiernan snapped. “I almost let go!”
I ignored her and wrapped my fingers over the edge of the stall, pulling forward. “Bet if I knew Parkour, this wouldn’t be so damn complicated,” I mumbled. I’d just cleared the edge, the top of Jade’s red head finally in view, when something cracked.
“Um, Dez? What was—”
Under my right foot, the paper dispenser broke free from the wall and crashed to the ground. I went with it.
I hit the floor with a jar, knocking my head against the edge of the toilet. Something smacked me in the face. Fingers.
“Ow!”
Kiernan squealed. “Oh, my God. I think I’m sitting in pee!”
“Oh, my God,” Jade’s voice snapped from the stall next door. She pounded on the metal divider several times before sighing. “What are you doing in there?”
I reached for the coat hook and tried to haul myself up. “Relax. It’s probably just water.”
“I’m so not loving you right now,” Kieran breathed, pulling herself up. She unlatched the door and pushed it open. “And stop wiggling. She heard us because I lost contact, like, twice already!”
Next to us, the toilet flushed, and Jade’s door swung open. She straightened her shirt and walked across to the sinks. She shot a quick glance at the stall we were in, its door swinging open, then at the door, and shrugged.
“He might be weird,” she said, turning back to the mirror. “But he’s endgame material.” She turned on the faucet and soaped up her hands.
My boyfriend was not weird. He was perfect. Dragging Kiernan across the room, I kicked hard at the pipe beneath the sink. It took exactly three blows for it to come apart, sending water shooting in all directions.
We left Jade battling water and squealing like a five-year-old.
28
“Are you okay?” I heard Kale ask when Jade finally emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was slicked back, and her shirt was soaked.
She mumbled something and paid the bill, then followed him out the door.
The address Ginger had given them wasn’t far, so I was relieved when they decided to walk the rest of the way. It provided me with the freedom to walk next to Kale and really listen.
Not that there was anything to listen to.
Jade kept trying to engage him in conversation, but Kale being Kale, gave her simple, one-word answers. He wasn’t trying to be rude or dismissive, he was just being himself. If she knew anything about him, she’d know that for him to be really chatty, she’d only have to talk about simple things. Things people like her took for granted. Thunderstorms and snowfall. Bike rides and zoo animals.
One of the people on Brandt’s list, Andrea Durham, was an employee at the Bronx Zoo. We’d met her there over the summer to warn her about Denazen. And even though Kale wasn’t happy at first about the animals being caged, eventually he sort of fell in love with the zoo. We’d gone back four times since. His favorite part? The bears, of course.
By the time they got to the house, Jade looked like she was ready to explode. Reaching under a small porcelain frog statue, she pulled out a silver key and ushered Kale through the door.
The place was empty. There was no furniture, and judging from the smell, no one had lived here in quite some time. I wondered if Ginger knew the owners, or if we were squatting.
Time passed slowly. Two hours of watching Kale work on his control while listening to Jade try to provoke a reaction—any reaction. She’d tried sexy—batting her eyes and rubbing against him. He’d responded by telling her how much he wished I was there. She hadn’t been happy about that, scowling outright and sulking like a child.
She’d done concerned—further elaborating on her theory that I was only out to control him, just like my dad had. Kale simply thanked her for the concern but assured her that when she got to know me, she’d see how wrong she was.
And she’d tried bitchy—spouting off that Kale needed to open his eyes and move on. She even tried to tell him our inability to touch was a sign from the universe. That confused him just a little—which in turn confused her. The bitch was clueless about the inner workings of Kale’s mind.
By eight p.m. all the potted plants someone had kindly supplied were lined up against the wall, shriveled and gray, and they’d gotten nowhere.
“Let’s move out to the backyard,” Jade said, taking Kale’s hand. “It’s a beautiful night, and there’s plenty of green out there.”
He was frustrated. I could tell by the stiff way he moved. Tense. Kiernan and I followed them out the back doors to the patio.
“She’s lying to me,” Kale growled as he stalked back and forth.
Jade bent down and picked a maple leaf from a low-hanging branch. Handing it to Kale, she asked, “Who?”
He took the leaf and crumpled it in his palm, the dust drifting between his open fingers. “Dez. There’s something she’s keeping from me. She told me earlier.”
Jade let out an exaggerated sigh. “This is why you’re making no progress. I told you, this is all tied up in emotion. You need to clear your mind. Let it all go.”
“She said it was to protect me,” he continued as though she hadn’t spoken.
Jade rolled her eyes. “Protect you? Unlikely. Someone like you doesn’t need protecting. Personally, I think it’s something else.”
That caught his attention. “Something else?”
“I’d be a really horrible friend if I didn’t point this out, Kale. But really, don’t you see the way she looks at Alex? They’ve got history tog
ether. He’s obviously still got a thing for her, and I’ve seen the way she looks at him. She feels the same way.”
“You’re wrong. He hurt her.”
Her expression softened. “And you did, too. You almost killed her.”
He looked like she’d just sucker punched him, and at that moment there was very little holding me back. “I didn’t—that wasn’t my fault. I would never—”
She took his hand. I waited for him to pull away, but he didn’t.
“There’s no way he’s going to buy this shit…” I hissed. Tugging on Kiernan’s hand, I took a step closer. We were about four feet from them now. Every word, every expression, clear as day.
“I know you didn’t mean it,” Jade continued. “But Dez runs on pure emotion. She’s an all-or-nothing kind of girl. She can’t touch you, and maybe that’s just too much for her. Alex is available, interested, and she can touch him.”
“I’m gonna fucking kill her.” I tried to let go of Kiernan’s hand, but she held tight. Jade’s crap until now had been dirty, but throwing Alex in Kale’s face? That was an entirely new kind of low.
“Wait,” she whispered. “I wanna see how far this bitch is gonna go. Then we’ll kick her ass.”
Kale was shaking his head. “You don’t know her.”
“She saved you from Denazen. I get it. It’s totally natural to feel attached to her because of that—”
“I love Dez,” he said. The ferocity in his voice eased some of the tension in my shoulders, but it also sent a chill trickling down my spine.
“Are you sure? Maybe you should take a break from the underground. Go out and see the world. Get to know yourself. I’m not trying to confuse you, but, Kale, if you’ve only been able to be with her, how do you know there’s not someone else out there?”
He took a step back, and the breath caught in my lungs. I could see it. The understanding sparking to life in his eyes. “Dez said that to me once.”
The look on Jade’s face, the justification and smug satisfaction, made me sick to my stomach. “See? She knew it, too.”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he tilted his head to the sky. All the tension seemed to drain away. His shoulders, previously taut, his fingers flexed and flicking—all gone. He was the picture of relaxation.
Of acceptance.
It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. You see it coming toward you. You have plenty of time to walk way. But you can’t. You’re just glued. Waiting for the carnage.
Jade took his hand again. “I think you need to consider—”
“Can I kiss you?”
And there it was. The train.
“Dez, let’s go,” Kiernan said softly. She tried to tug me backward, but I wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t. My feet were suddenly filled with ten tons of lead, and my heart was on the verge of stopping. I had to see this through.
A part of me laughed at the fear clouding my brain. This was Kale. He’d never do it. He’d never kiss someone else. Another part of me cheered him on. Prove me right, it screamed. I knew this would happen. I told you so. I fucking told you.
“What?” Jade’s eyes were wide. She dropped his hand and stepped away.
“Can I kiss you?” he repeated.
“Dez,” Kiernan tried again. “You don’t need to see this.”
I couldn’t form coherent words, or I would have told her that yes, I did need to see this. I wouldn’t be able to believe it—to accept it—if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes.
Kale stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Jade’s waist. He didn’t linger for dramatic effect or caress her skin lovingly. He dove in for the kill, and the train rolled over me at full speed.
Dead. I was dead. Hollow. Cold. All I could hear was my own voice. Over and over. Itoldyouso. Itoldyouso. Itoldyouso.
It took a moment, but Jade threw herself into it. Giggling, she wrapped both arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. She had him now. No way was she letting go. The yard was eerily silent. Crickets, cars passing on the street out front, even the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears—it all disappeared. The only sound was Jade and Kale.
There’s this whole romantic notion about kissing. In the movies, it’s this mysterious thing back dropped by sweet music and fade-to-black moments. In reality, though, there’re spit and suction and slurping noises. And Jade was either a really sloppy kisser, or she was just going to town.
There was a tiny voice inside my brain fighting for attention. It tried to spew logic. Jade wasn’t into him. Not really. She was working for Denazen. For Dad. This was part of the plot to reel Kale in. And while that fact had consoled me each and every time I saw her shooting him the fuck-me eyes, it didn’t change the fact that Kale had fallen for it. He kissed her.
I didn’t mean to do it. It just sort of happened. One minute I was holding Kiernan’s hand, the next minute I wasn’t.
They didn’t notice at first. Too wrapped up in themselves, I supposed. Jade saw me first.
“Oops,” she whispered, pulling away from Kale.
29
Jade wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and at least had the decency to move away a few inches. I caught the barest hint of a smile before she looked in the other direction.
I laughed, a horrible sound that actually hurt my own ears. It was grating. Wrong. Broken somehow. “Some ninja, huh? I was standing here a whole twenty seconds.”
At first Kale didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look surprised. Or sorry. Then it must have hit him.
“Dez, I—”
I held out my hands. He needed to stop. I couldn’t listen to that voice. That voice I swore to myself would never lie. Never betray. I’d put him on a pedestal—which wasn’t fair, really—and he’d fallen.
“No. Seriously. It’s cool, right? You guys are great together. You know, ’cause you can grope each other without all the death and pain and shit.”
I took a step back. Kale took one forward.
“Wait. Dez, it’s—”
I laughed again. Even louder. And longer. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing. I’d snapped. Trauma had brought on the Supremacy crazies five months early because there was no other way I’d come unhinged like this. Not Dez Cross. Ms. Keep It Together. The whole thing reminded me a little of the way Fin had bounced down from that last step, giggling like a loony and spouting nonsense.
I didn’t live by many rules, but I had a few. Never let anyone see you cry, and never, ever let anyone see you fall apart. I tried, but I wasn’t able to hold back the tears. And since I’d broken rule number one, rule number two seemed like fair game.
“Not what it looks like? Is that what you were gonna spew? Did you know that’s what Alex tried to say to me? Or maybe you were going to tell me this was all some kind of setup? An act played out to shield me from something big and bad? Guess what? Alex said that to me, too. Matter of fact, for all the bad blood between you two, you have a hell of a lot in common all of a sudden. You both screwed me over for some cheap-ass whore.”
Jade snickered. “See? Notice how she keeps bringing up Alex?”
Everything turned red. I fell forward and struck out, putting all my weight behind the blow. Jade toppled back, losing her balance and hitting the dew-wet grass with a muffled thud. I knew she hadn’t felt anything, but it gave me some small amount of satisfaction. I watched her for a moment, our eyes meeting in rage-filled challenge.
And then I was running. Somewhere behind me, Kiernan called out, but I ignored her. Space. Distance. Miles. I needed a huge gap between me and Kale. Cities. Planets. Hell, nothing would be enough.
I got about a mile from the house and stopped to catch my breath. No stupid moves this time. Last time I’d run off, I’d ended up running into Aubrey and Able. Not that things could reach a whole new level of oh, shit, but why take chances?
So I found a dark corner and cried my eyes out. Five months ago my life hadn’t been perfect by anyone’s definition, but in my opinion, it’d been p
retty awesome. I was getting ready for senior year, made a hobby out of driving Dad’s blood pressure to new heights, and partied till dawn. I had friends, flings, and freedom.
Then I met Kale.
I’d never had so much faith in anyone before. In anything. Fierce. Loyal. Pure. That was Kale. He made me feel special. Whole.
Now I was sitting on the other side of the fence. Lost and alone. The poison was getting worse. It was getting harder to concentrate through the constant pain in my shoulder. Random waves of gravity-defying dizziness came and went in increasing increments. And the idea of food? Pass.
My time was up. I was going to have to come clean—if for no reason other than by morning, it’d be impossible to hide. From the time I’d seen Kale and Jade, to the time I’d arrived in the alley, the poison had almost reached my elbow. I was pretty sure it’d made it to the base of my neck. Kale might have noticed back at the house if the yard hadn’t been so dark.
And you know, he hadn’t been busy sucking Jade’s face off.
Icy fear started wiggling in my stomach. Before, I’d had something to focus on to keep my mind busy. Proving Jade was working for Dad. Now that I had that proof—I hadn’t seen her talking on the phone, but we’d heard the conversation just the same—all I could think about was the poison and how badly I wanted to run to Kale.
But that couldn’t happen. He was holding on to Jade now, and the poison seemed to be spreading faster. There was one bright spot in all of this. The Supremacy crazies weren’t going to get me.
I’d never make it that long.
But there was another option. One I’d originally thought was out of the question. Giving Dad what he wanted. Me for the cure. It was feasible now, wasn’t it? On one hand, by no definition did I want to fork myself over to Denazen—I knew what they did to people like me—but on the other, one of my main roadblocks was gone. If Kale was falling for Jade, then maybe he wouldn’t come after me.
A small whisper in the back of my mind tried to tell me again that something about this wasn’t right, but I was able to push it aside. The kiss was fresh in my mind. The image had been permanently embedded into my brain. The sounds. The smells. The look in Kale’s eyes. Pity. It had been pity in his voice. Everything was starting to make sense now. Kale had started falling out of love with me the moment Jade arrived. Ginger was right. We weren’t meant to be together because he and Jade were.