16
First Love
“You’re the nicest lady friend I’ve ever seen my dad with.”
Sherry couldn’t help being flattered by his simple words, no one had ever referred to her as nice; she had been called all the negative names that could possibly be given to a woman in this country.
“You think so?”
He nodded, “and so does my dad and that says a lot. You’re not the first woman he’s dated since our mother died you know.”
She did know that, but she’d never felt inclined to dwell on it, she wasn’t exactly one to judge and the idea of Ryan with another woman in this house as she was now was too bothersome. It made her somewhat fearful about the outcome of their relationship.
Leon must have noticed the uneasy look in her eyes or he may have suspected the direction of her thoughts by the brief flicker of fear and jealousy across her face.
“But you’re the first he’s ever asked to move in. I have a good feeling about you.”
“A good feeling huh?” she grimaced. Was this the way the men in her life felt? Like they were on trial, wondering if Sherry would keep them, or rather when she would let them go?
Leon smiled; a mischievous twinkle in his dark brown eyes. “At first I was kinda sorry for you, when I heard you were pregnant, because that’s my dad. If a woman is pregnant, he would move mountains to do the honourable thing, and be with his child. But then it turned out that you weren’t, and my dad... seemed somehow relieved, he was happier. So I waited and I waited but nothing happened, you two are still together and he is still head over heels for you. So that’s when I realised that that bounce in his step wasn’t because he was relieved that there was no baby to tie him down. It was because he knew now that he had you all to himself, no baby to come between you just yet. I just know that you’re here to stay.”
Sherry couldn’t help smiling; she too was surprised by Ryan’s reaction to the baby issue, he was a bit upset at first that she didn’t come to him right away, and that she thought he was only there for her because she was pregnant with his child. But after their boisterous quarrel, everything was well again.
“One question Sher, do you love my father?”
Sherry was pensive for a moment; she did not expect him to ask that question, so for a moment she was fearful that she might not know how to answer. Surprisingly though, the answer was right on the tip of her tongue and without thinking she replied.
“I do, I love yuh father” she smiled at Leon, “As a matter of fact, he is the second man that I ever feel that way about, and strangely is like I have a place for him and that other person too. I guess once you love, you love for long, you know.”
Leon made a face that said he had no idea what she was talking about and Sherry smiled.
“You have time.”
“Hmm I keep looking for proof that it exists…”
Sherry didn’t reply, she wasn’t always a firm believer in love. She knew what it was to be used, rejected and abused, love… love had come around once for her, until Ryan proved that it could happen again. Still she was waiting for the ball to drop, that inevitable heart break that comes with it.
After a brief pause Leon spoke up, “So if Ryan’s the second who was the first? If you don’t mind me asking”
She looked down at her hand, “I don’t think I should Leon, you might…”
“Sherry it doesn’t matter to me, Ryan and I don’t get along that well so you don’t have to worry about me accidently spilling; besides he isn’t perfect.”
Sherry sighed, what was she afraid of anyway? Declan had lost his hold on her the day he left.
“His name were Declan” she said.
She smiled sadly, “He was the first man I ever fall in love with. We met at a fair, he was so handsome; tall and sexy with hair that looked almost black as night. He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Me and all my friends noticed him, but they was too busy noticing his white skin and thin lips to see what I seen. They say he was just ah out of place white man, trying to look like he belong. But me, I saw a kind man who knew how to take care of a woman, a man with class and proper upbringing. You could imagine my reaction when he walk up to me...
Declan walked up to Sherry the minute she was alone, he didn’t know she’d drifted away from her friends just to accommodate him. She was captivated by his timid smile and oval eyes; a cool blue, almost grey, that reminded her of rain.
“Hello, I’m Declan.”
“Hi” Sherry was suddenly shy; she didn’t know if it was his sincere gaze or his accent that had suddenly turned her timid.
“Are you having fun?”
“Yes is a very nice fair this year,” she was now conscious of her English, she wondered if she phrased it right. He didn’t seem to notice.
They stood awkwardly side by side for a little while. Sherry didn’t know what to say to break the ice and that was strange considering she was usually a talkative flirt. Then again, this was a man of a different calibre, and it didn’t help that he wasn’t as bold as most men she knew. Usually all she had to do was play along with them when they flirted. The fact that this stranger didn’t, posed a problem for her charm.
He looked over at her suddenly, with determined eyes, as though he had been summoning the courage during the silence and he’d decided to just get it out.
“I’ve been watching you all evening and I think that you are absolutely gorgeous, breath taking really. I would be an utter fool to allow this night to come to an end without at least getting your name,” he rambled, his thick accent making it hard for her to understand, so that even after he was finished she was still deciphering what he’d said.
She was surprised at his sudden outburst, but even more she was flattered at what he’d said, no man had ever spoken to her like that before. With so much respect and timid fear as if rejection from her was mortifying. Her, Sherry Moore, the village’s hottest topic.
She smiled up at him and she thought she saw his magical eyes dance.
“Listen eh, I gonna give you my number and name, but only after you dance with me.”
“But....am afraid I’m a terrible dancer,” he sputtered, “I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”
Sherry smiled and grabbed his hand, a sudden excitement taking her over, “You think I don’t know that,” she said as she pulled him into the crowd.
He smiled as she playfully tiptoed to his ear and whispered sultrily, “after all, I been watching you all night.”
Sherry looked up at Leon who was leaning forward, eyes wide with interest, as she told her story.
“That night we had so much fun together, when he left I was disappointed because I thought I never would of never see him again, what would a man like him want with a girl like me?”
She sighed and shook her head as the memories played back in her head, “so I was shocked when he turned up on my doorstep with flowers to ask me out. I was real touched Leon. I hadn’t been treated like that before; no man had ever asked me out before, like a real date. He was nervous like he was afraid I would turn him down, of course I didn’t. He didn’t just get my name that night, he get my heart too.”
Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. Talking about him now, like this, brought back not only the memory of what happened but the feelings he’d evoked in her, the love she had for him and the heartbreak she’d endured for years even before he’d gone.
“He moved in with me after about a month and by the next year we had Alex.”
Leon perked up, “Declan is Alex’s father? You never said that. What happened?”
“What does always happen, he move on.”
It felt strange talking about all that after so long, but it was refreshing nonetheless. She wondered what Alex would think if she told her that she had been madly in love with her father and would never have let him go, even if he’d made it so difficult to hold on.
Reuben folded his
hands behind his head and spun his chair around with his feet, “for the umpteenth time James I am not calling Alex.”
“Why?
Reuben dropped his hands and stared at James quizzically.
“You’re really gonna ask that question? Okay let’s see, I just dropped her home from church after spending most of the morning with her, she has an SBA to hand up tomorrow, and she’s way behind on her study plan. So she’s really not all that warm and cuddly as you may well understand. And I don’t blame her, considering the exams that will determine the rest of her academic future is merely a month away.”
James sighed and started tossing Reuben’s basketball across the room again, after a couple throws, he pouted his lips and shook his head.
“She’s not at home studying,” he said.
Reuben rolled his eyes, “Won’t you relax? She’s fine. You saw her in Church this morning, doesn’t she look... like she’s moving forward.”
“It’s easy to say we’re moving forward when everything is going right, but then we don’t know the value of the faith we’ll need when things get tough... and they will, especially for Alex. She’s still holding out on God, she’s afraid to trust Him, she’s afraid to trust us.”
“Everyone has their own pace man, chill out. What’s with you and Alex’s salvation? If you’ve been a Christian as long as I know you’ve been, then you’d understand that not everyone gets it.”
James glared at him, “I never thought I’d ever hear you talk like that. She’s dying James! She’s dying just as I was dying when God saved me...” he stopped and shook his head suddenly overcome with emotion.
Reuben leaned forward, “I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean it like that.”
He wouldn’t admit to James then, but what he said shook him. Sometimes he forgot what salvation meant, but hearing James put it like that, made it clearer in his head. Alex was dying and God wanted to save her.
He sighed deeply, “what’s Alex to you James?”
The silence that followed seemed to have extended over the whole neighbourhood, but Reuben waited for the answer he knew James would eventually give. Until he felt the vibration against his leg and the annoying ringtone pierced the silence.
“Hold that thought,” he said as he reached into his pocket and took out his cellular. He watched the number flashing across the screen.
“It’s Lisa,” he said with a sigh.
James looked up at him and narrowed his eyes. Reuben stared at his phone.
“Aren’t you going to answer it?” he asked.
Reuben pursed his lips and tossed the phone on the bed, then turned back to James with a smirk,
“Today is Sunday, he said, “I’m taking a rest from the drama.”
“Ahhh that’s the way,” James said, nodding proudly, “so I guess you’re finally over her.”
Reuben shook his head, “I wish, but don’t try to change the subject,” he said, jabbing a finger at James.
James chuckled, “You know what....” he started just as Reuben’s phone started ringing again.
Reuben rolled his eyes, “oh come on,” he moaned.
“Maybe you should hear her out,” James suggested.
Reuben picked up the phone, “you think so?”
James shrugged. Rueben closed his eyes briefly, uttering a quick prayer for patience as he lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hello. What?... oh no… Lisa slow down,” he looked up at James who was looking at him quizzically.
“Hey, hey, don’t worry, I’ll be right over.”
He hung up and frowned, “I have to go,” he said.
“What? No, dude, you don’t have to go to her whenever she calls.”
Reuben got up and pulled on his shoes, “no, but I can’t just leave her when she needs me just because she broke my heart. She’s still a sister in Christ.”
James rolled his eyes, “then let another brother in Christ deal with it, a brother like.... hmmm I don’t know, Craig.”
But Reuben was already out the door. James tapped his head with the ball and shook his head, “that guy is so sprung,” he muttered.
Lisa fell into his arms, while his hands were still lifted to knock; he gapped, staggering backward, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Lisa...” he started, holding her awkwardly.
“Roo, I know you must be so confused right now, but I had to see you, I’ve missed you so much,” she crooned, lifting her big, bold brown eyes toward him. The eyes that had captured his heart from the very start and the ones that still haunted his sleep even now.
He drew her away at arm’s length, eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“What about your Grandmother?” he asked, “you said she fell.”
She shook her head, smiling, “it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” she said, “but when I saw you something just soared inside of me, I’ve missed you Roo-Roo.”
Reuben pursed his lips, deliberately avoiding her eyes as he looked through the opened door.
“Well, where is she? he asked.
Lisa sighed and released him. Taking him by the hand again, she led him inside to her Grandmother’s room. He tried to ignore the way her hand felt in his, she wasn’t his anymore.
The spirited old lady was sitting up in her chair knitting, an ice pack resting on her knee as she hummed a hymn. She looked up just as Reuben and Lisa entered.
“Oh my!” she exclaimed, dropping her knitting.
“Hello, Sister Hagley,” Reuben greeted, going to her to plant a light kiss on her cheek.
Sister Hagley smiled contentedly, “oh I was so sad when I hear allyuh break up, but I am so glad yuh here now...together,” she looked at him and winked mischievously and Lisa bowed her head in embarrassment.
“Oh no, Sister Hagley, we’re not back together,” Reuben explained as he took a seat on a stool next to her bed.
“I just came by to make sure you were okay. Oh by the way, mom said she’d send over the vegetables she promised you tomorrow... if I remember to remind her.”
Sister Hagley smiled pleasantly, “oh yuh such a sweet boy,” she crooned, reaching up to tap his face appreciatively, “I don’t understand why Lisa would ever want to break your loving heart,” and she shot the girl a cutting stare behind Reuben’s back.
“Anyway, ease your mind darling, am alright. Just a little tumble and a bump on the knee, as far as I see it there are bigger matters needing attending to than my little knee.”
She lowered her head and regarded the two of them over her spectacles. Reuben chuckled nervously and turned to look at Lisa, who shrugged and gave an awkward smile.
“You know she’s right Reuben, we do have things to talk about.”
Reuben nodded, feeling his chest tighten with apprehension.
“Would you like to go out in the veranda and talk?”
“Sure,” he said with a strained smile, then turned around and placed a reassuring hand on Mrs. Hagley’s arm, “see you in a little Sister.”
Out on the veranda, things were awkward. Reuben stood staring outside with his hands shoved deep in his pocket, looking rather thoughtful. Lisa stood wringing her hands thinking of the best way to launch a conversation.
“Reuben I am really sorry,” she said finally, “I was confused, I had a hard time in New York and I was re-evaluating a lot of things in my life and I made a mistake because I thought our relationship was putting a strain on me. But it was a rash decision, ‘cause now I realize not having you around was the heaviest weight I had to carry.”
Reuben inhaled sharply still not daring to look right at her, “so what about Craig? Did you think he was a lighter weight than I was, so you just exchanged me for him,” he was rather calm compared to the emotional tumult inside of him.
Lisa gapped, shaking her head, “I... it wasn’t anything like that Roo, I just... didn’t think.”
Now he turned to look at her, “so what do you want to
do now?” he asked.
Lisa sighed, “whatever you want to do,” she replied, “I’m done making the decisions in this relationship.”
He lifted a brow, “In this relationship?” he retorted.
“Whatever we go through Roo, whether we go through it together or apart, you’ll always be the one I love, and I’ll always be your rib,” and she smiled sweetly, reassuringly, pleadingly.
Reuben swallowed hard, how was he supposed to overcome the storm raging within him? How was he supposed to suppress the joy that was bubbling up with her looking at him like that? Saying all the things he’d always longed to hear her say; all mixed up with that feeling of betrayal; that still raw hurt.
There was only one thing left to do, and that was to wrap her in his arms and pray with all his might that she could feel what he couldn’t say. And as he did, Lisa clung to him and he could feel her smiling against his chest but to his surprise that was all he really did feel. She looked up at him now with those bold brown eyes and smiled, “I love you Roo-Roo.”
His only response was to smile and nod, maybe he needed to give himself time to adjust to her being his again and then everything will be just the way it used to be.