17
Where’s the Background Music?
Alex stood on the other side of the road and looked up at the huge house on the hill; if she’d thought Ryan’s house was exquisite she hadn’t seen anything yet. She walked up to it and pressed her face to the large gate.
A grumpy looking man stopped his gardening and squinted at her, “what you want?” he asked, squinting daggers at her.
“I’m here to see Mrs. Hartley,” she replied.
“She ain’t seeing no visitors today, go ‘bout your business little girl,” he snapped and turned away from her.
Alex gapped. She hadn’t expected that, but not even a grumpy old gardener could make her change her mind. She had promised Ryan to be quiet but she didn’t promise to do nothing. There was no way she was going to stand by and let him drag what was left of her family down with him. She left the front gate and surrounded the area, hoping to find another way in.
With her cheeks pressed against the rough brick fence, she gripped the wall and pulled herself up to peer into one of the many square holes in the concrete fence in order to make a quick survey of the yard. She had to balance on the edge of the short wall over the drain, straining her toes in her tennis shoes.
Suddenly a disapproving baritone floated up to her and she froze.
“There better be a good explanation for you climbing that wall.”
“Oh God,” she moaned, feeling her hands grow sweaty where they gripped the wall.
“God? Hmm God especially has his ideas about doors, and thieves scaling walls,” he spoke with a coolness that wouldn’t be expected from a guy in his current position.
Alex took a deep breath, now realizing that this was probably not the best idea. She tried to step back from the wall only to find that she couldn’t find the bank with her feet. But as she was about to fall back and risk twisting her ankle, she felt a strong arm grab her about the waist, simultaneously swinging her feet over into another strong arm.
As the stranger held her, securely like a patient rather than a thief, a cool musky aroma wafted around her head; the hint of cologne that lingers on a man’s skin long after the occasion when he puts it on. Strong enough to survive hard work, the kind she could tell this guy had been doing before he caught himself a thief. She could feel the sweat on his shirt where her hands clung to him in panic.
Just as quickly as he’d grabbed her, she was back on her feet again. She lifted fearful apologetic eyes to his and found herself drawn to eyes the colour of ground cocoa. He couldn’t have been much older than her; mother’s milk was almost dripping off his smooth face.
“A pretty girl like you would look awfully dismal with no fingers,” he said, opening and closing his pruner so it made a blood-curdling squeaking sound.
She felt a chill sidle down her spine and stepped back, “I’m sorry... I”
He didn’t move, but continued to stare at her, one corner of his lip curving slightly in cruel amusement as he waited for the explanation.
“I wanted to see Mrs. Hartley, she knows am coming but that grumpy old man up front, didn’t even listen to me. I just thought there might be another way in...”
“Yes? And climbing her fence would surely get you into her good graces.”
She wrung her hands, “I wasn’t actually going to climb that wall,” she said, “I was just looking around.”
He nodded his head in agreement and the smile that had been playing across his face finally burst through.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t have found this amusing if you had dropped onto those flowers,” he said and her eyes shifted to where he had carried her from. There was a row of fragile looking plants mere inches from the wall. He’d lifted her over them.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay, they would’ve done a number on your skin,” he gestured to her bare legs, then extended his hand “I’m Julien, Mrs. Hartley’s God-son and volunteer gardener.”
She hesitated but eventually took it, “Angel, but everyone calls me Alex.”
“Angel, that’s nice,” he said, behind a smirk. He said this easily but his eyes didn’t shift from hers for a second.
She could feel the heat of her blush rising to her cheeks.
“Thanks, I prefer Alex though. So are you going to throw me out or am I going to get to see Mrs. Hartley?”
“Not much I can do now,” he pointed to a figure moving slowly toward them from the far corner of the garden. An ugly pug was running ahead of her, it stood up straight as though electrified and bared it’s sharp canines as Julien unlocked the narrow gate and ushered Alex in.
The woman was bent forward slightly and held a beautifully carved cane in her right hand, with arthritic knuckles gripping its handle. Her face was narrow with a sharp tipped nose and eyes drawn close together, with skin as pale and transparent as wax paper.
“She may be tiny but she is a formidable guard” she said, in response to Alex’s expression.
“Had her bred specifically for my purpose; didn’t come out so right but she’s worth a fortune...” she narrowed her eyes at Alex, “mind you, she doesn’t sit well with thieves.”
Alex looked at the still ranting dog, at its thin spiky fur and weakly frame, thinking that somewhere along the way someone might’ve bamboozled Mrs. Hartley. The dog merely looked like a hairless, sickly poodle.
“Doubt anyone will wanna steal that,” she murmured and Julien, having heard her, snickered, holding his fingers over his lips to conceal it.
“Now what are you doing here young lady?” the woman asked.
Julien cleared his throat, “I let her in Missus Hartley,” he said.
This was Mrs. Hartley? Alex swallowed hard, she’d spoken to her before on the telephone and she was just as intimidating then as she was now. Now that the objective of her mission was staring her in the face she didn’t know what she was supposed to do.
She searched the sharp aristocratic features for any resemblance of Ryan’s children, but she couldn’t find any.
“I need to talk to you” she said.
“About what?” came the grouchy response.
“I’m Alex, I spoke to you on the phone.”
The old woman squinted her eyes in thought, then nodded slowly, “oh yes Alex, hmm, let’s go in.”
Alex sat at the edge of the dainty cushion and leaned forward, she couldn’t help feeling out of place in the large expensively decorated room. Even the cushions appeared to be made of a rich fabric, fresh from the manufacturer. She was afraid she might leave a dent in it if she sat too comfortably.
“You have a nice living room ma’am, I love the painting.”
Alex complimented, trying to fill in the awkward lapse in conversation as the woman wobbled about the room fixing cushions with her knobby hands and straightening ceramic pieces.
“That’s a Willem de Kooning original,” the old woman turned and squinted at her, Alex couldn’t help shrinking under her dull hazel eyes.
“What did you say your name was again?” she asked as she made her way to the seat next to Alex.
“Alex” she replied, she was now starting to wonder why she’d come here, why she didn’t leave well enough along.
Where was her voice of reason that night she had sneaked into Ryan’s office?
“That’s a rather queer name for a girl” she said with a frown.
“Actually it’s Angel but no one calls me that, I use my middle name, Alexis.”
“Alexis well that’s better. Care for some tea?”
Alex shrugged; she had never been inclined to have tea at the middle of the day before. Tea wasn’t even part of her usual diet if she had one at all.
“Uh sure” but she understood that it paid to be polite, declining tea might be a major social don’t, just as her name seemed to be.
The woman turned slightly, “Yoland!” she called in her quaky voice.
>
In less than a minute a short dark woman appeared with a tray of tea cups and a floral ceramic mug. She looked up at Alex and smiled warmly, she had Julien’s eyes and straight peaked nose, on a darker but equally smooth shade of brown. She placed the mug on the table before them and without a word filled two cups.
Alex watched as the yellow liquid flowed from the mug, steam rising from it. She wondered if strangers showing up unannounced were a norm with Mrs. Hartley. Following the old woman’s lead, she picked up the other cup and tentatively sipped it, it was not as hot as she’d expected and it tasted like lemon; not at all unpleasant.
Meanwhile the woman looked at her through critical eyes, “let’s get right to the matter. You want to talk about that scoundrel Ryan.”
“Yes,” she said setting down the cup carefully, “I know you don’t have the best idea of him, but he’s a great guy and he really needs your help. I’m asking you to put aside your past hurts and think about your grandchildren…”
The old woman’s interest was clear, “they aren’t really my grandchildren, their mother wasn’t really my daughter, but a promise is a promise,” her smile was devious.
The week had been stressful for Alex and there were assignments still pending; packed up on the desk she shared with Rachel in folders and notebooks in a messy stack. But that didn’t stop her from jumping out of bed and dancing to the bathroom excitedly.
It didn’t stop her from sliding into the kitchen with her socks on while she spun her sneakers around her fingers singing ‘I feel Joy’ by Jermaine Edwards, filling in the missing words with grunts and a jerking head. Thanks to Reuben she had a new playlist.
Things had turned out great after all. She’d clarified things with Mrs. Hartley, now she wasn’t worried about Ryan finding out and trying to kill her and she’d met a really sweet and handsome guy, who she had no intentions or ideas about, not with Reuben on her mind all the time.
Sherry looked up from her breakfast and frowned, “what happen yuh so happy today?” she asked.
Alex shook her head and made a face at her before ducking into the fridge to take out the mug of lime juice.
“Where yuh heading for?” Sherry asked, as she got up to put her dishes in the sink.
Alex shrugged, “Out. The youth group in my church are having this beach thing,” she replied, as she poured a glass full.
“Drink some tea child,” Sherry upbraided, “and what kind of beach lime is that? I hope is not no funny business.”
Alex chuckled, “don’t worry moms, there’s gonna be lots of prayers, singing, food and maybe some decent beach games with some very polite ladies and gentlemen that don’t believe in funny business.”
“Hmm, yuh sound real sure of that, but man is man eh, just remember that. Whether they have bible under arm or under bed, them is still man, so be careful.”
Alex rolled her eyes, “haven’t I always,” she picked up two slices of bread and a sliced cheese.
“And why yuh wearing sneakers if you going on the beach? Where yuh slippers? Yuh a strange child nuh.”
Alex laughed, “I’m not wearing one because I don’t have one, you don’t really buy me things remember,” she explained.
Sherry sighed, “look by the door there and borrow mine, the brown one,” she said.
Alex rolled her eyes, but proceeded to take off her worn out sneakers and socks.
“Don’t stay out late,” Sherry warned.
As Alex was about to pull the door behind her, she paused, frowned and turned around, taking in the image of Sherry in the kitchen and replaying their conversation in her head. She shook her head and closed the door behind her. Did Sherry just tell her to drink some tea?
Alex sat on the blanket among the other teenagers, listening attentively to the youth pastor speak; he was talking about prayer; communicating with God. There were at least twenty of them gathered under the shade on the blankets but Reuben wasn’t one of them. It had disappointed Alex at first, when he’d called and told her he wouldn’t be able to pick her up and she had to wait out on the main road to get the bus like everyone else. But after hanging out with the others she found that they were not that bad to be around. As a matter of fact, she was quite taken with the fact that there could be this many fun yet caring, dedicated and trustworthy people in the same place at the same time. She thought Reuben was special because he was the first guy she’d known who seemed to really care. Yet here were the young people in his church and it seemed like that was characteristic of most of them, most of them.
“....so you guys, from today let your prayers be a permanent part of your life, pray in faith and wait on God with equal measure. Pay attention to his word, which was given as a guide and comfort to God’s people, and remember, prayer changes things,” the youth pastor was saying.
He was a tall, thin man, with a pencil shaped head, not traditionally handsome, but he had this warmth that extended to all he touched and a humour to match. His wife was Carol, she sat beside him, her legs folded underneath her. Her husband nodded at her. Now she looked at Alex, making her squirm and lower her gaze. Carol smiled.
“Well as you all know, we have some new faces among us these days, our newest being Alexis,” she smiled at Alex.
“Alex we want you to feel welcome among us at all times. I can see your interest and we all want you to grow in faith and make that very important step, which is to accept Jesus as your lord and saviour,” she turned and took up her beach bag.
“So to show how much we care about your salvation and future in Christ we want to give you this gift, that we hope you would cherish and spend as much time with as you can.”
She took out a package from her bag and handed it to Alex, leaning over to give her a friendly embrace, before she handed her the package. Alex smiled at her, feeling quite exuberant, not just because of the gesture but the love put into the gesture.
She opened it right there and unwrapped two books, the first was a small devotional. She took out the other and turned it over in her hand. Engraved on the face of it in gold were the words ‘Holy Bible’, Alex looked up at her appreciatively. If she’d been given this exact gift last year her reaction would’ve been different but a lot had changed in that time.
“Thank you,” she said solemnly, thinking that maybe the time had come to stop running from God, not that he was running after her.
“We’re glad you like it,” said Carol, “now go have fun at the beach!”
As though on cue, everyone leapt to their feet and took off toward the beach, chattering excitedly. Alex got up and pushed her gift into her bag, just as one of the guys called her out to her.
“Aye Alex, cricket. Yuh playin’?”
She grinned, “I’m on your team,” she called back.
Reuben didn’t show up until around lunch time and by then Alex was too busy with the others to pay him much attention. He stood on the shore and watched her play water tag, a proud smile on his face. When she came out and finally acknowledged him, she was beaming.
“Umbrella girl,” he greeted, “I’m sorry I was late this morning, but it seems like you didn’t mind.”
She shrugged, “it was fine,” she replied, “you’ll make up for it, but right now I need food!” she cried dramatically as another girl ran over and took her hand. She gave him an apologetic smile and allowed the girl to lead her away. Reuben laughed, seeing her so happy made him very joyful and from the look on James face, he too must’ve felt the same way. She deserved to be fun loving sixteen-year-old at least once.
It wasn’t until everyone was packing up to leave that Alex saw Reuben again, he was helping hoist a large grill onto a truck, his strong arms and back flexing his ample muscles. It had been a beautiful day, packed with activities, food and friendly faces and therefore quite tiring. Alex didn’t mind the burning under her heels or the tightness in her arms and legs though, she knew it was worth it, even more when she saw Reuben again. <
br />
“Hey Reuben!” she called as she approached him from behind, “Are you ready to leave?”
He turned to face her and his eyes widened as though he’d just registered her presence; he scratched his thin sideburns and shifted his weight uncomfortably.
“Oh Alex, I didn’t know you were still here” he said; his eyes looked everywhere except at her and Alex was no fool, she knew when she wasn’t wanted. Her eyes grew hard with suspicion. Anyone else could not want her around but Reuben, seeing this side to him really bothered her, considering his eagerness to talk to her earlier.
She replied carefully, her senses on high alert, “Why would I leave?”
Reuben shrugged, “uh… I don’t know” he replied with a nervous chuckle.
“Look Alex…” he started, “I’ve been meaning to tell you…”
“Roo!” a voice called.
Alex turned in the direction of the breathy voice that had so annoyingly addressed Reuben. A beautiful, slender young woman with dark-chocolate skin, glistening with beads of water, was walking toward them. Her long straight hair was held back in a loose bun and she was grinning from ear to ear. It was the girl from New Year’s night, the girl that had made Reuben angry, that had made him brush her off like she was nothing, and here she was again. Only this time Reuben wasn’t angry at all, as a matter of fact the only one that seemed uncomfortable was her.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Lisa said as she walked up to him and lodged herself familiarly under his arm.
Reuben looked flustered, he looked down at the girl next to him and then at Alex, whose confusion was written all over her face.
“Oh hello” the jolly girl greeted, “Well aren’t you gonna introduce me to your friend?” she asked.
Alex felt herself mentally scowl at her accent.
Reuben smiled, “oh yeah, this is my good friend Alex. Al this is Lisa…my girlfriend.”
Despite how nervous he was acting before, when he introduced Lisa as his girlfriend he sounded relieved, and broke out in a proud grin as he drew her closer to him.
Alex stood there gapping at them, she was slowly internalising what she’d just heard so it wouldn’t affect her too much, but that didn’t help the feeling of a knife being twisted in her gut. She looked at the girl next to him and instead of seeing a beautiful cheerful woman that she might actually like to get to know, she saw a conniving heartless man stealer.
The girl was smiling along with her boyfriend, neither of them seemed to be catching on to the effect their announcement was having on Alex.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Alex,” she said as she offered an extended hand.
Alex took it; she thought it made no sense right now to embarrass herself more by revealing just how she felt about everything. But as she held the girl’s hand she couldn’t help sneering at her.
“He told you about me?”
Lisa smiled, “Yep, he is always talking about you. Said he saw something in you from day one and each day you keep showing him just how right he was,” she looked up at Reuben who was smiling uncomfortably, “I’m just glad you’ve decided to turn your life around, given your circumstances it’s the best thing.”
Alex dropped Lisa’s hand and walked away without another word, there it was, as clear as day; Reuben never did like her more than a friend. As that realisation sunk in, her throat tightened and a part of her kept turning over all those moments they had, like that time in the car when he told her how special he thought she was or that day when he thought Robbie was her boyfriend. What he said when he’d looked so intently at her, and that beautiful broach he wanted to buy for her, what was all of that?
“Al!”
Reuben hurried after her, a confused look on his sun burned face. She stopped and turned to face him with a scowl.
“You okay?” he asked worriedly.
She continued to stare at him with her arms folded across her chest, daring him to say something that would make her do just what she wanted to do.
“I know I should probably not talk about you like that… I mean I’d be angry too if I heard my friend was talking about me like some charity case,” he gave a dry chuckle, but sobered when he noticed Alex wasn’t taking it as such a joke.
“Don’t be angry Al…please.”
She shook her head, “It’s not that Reuben,” she seemed to choke on her words, “I mean, that’s pretty horrible too.”
He took a step toward her, “Then what is it?” he asked.
She waved her hand about her and shrugged, “I can’t believe you could be so blind,” she muttered.
“Blind? What are you talking about?”
Alex shook her head, “Forget it. You know what? I’ve had enough of pretending to be something am not,” that was only partly true, the truth lodged in her throat like a fish bone. She couldn’t admit that she had been foolish, she didn’t want to tarnish what he thought of her. It would be stupid to admit that she’d only been going to church because she had a huge crush on him.
He looked genuinely hurt, “What? Alex what are you saying? I don’t understand.”
She took a deep breath and looked away at the ocean, the dark expanse now set on fire by the setting sun. Everything around her was so alive, she could feel the salty wind against her sticky skin, the musky smell of the beach mixed with the faint smell of burnt chicken and fresh fish. She could hear the sounds of chattering and retreating vehicles – that was reality.
She looked at Rueben, and all the flowers, music and odours of a dream faded from the background and only the confused man stood before her, arms outstretched pleadingly.
“I’m just…I’m done with this,” she said, shaking her head, “your girlfriend was wrong I can’t turn my life around. I am who I am.”
Reuben gapped at her, “What? No Alex think about this, not every situation in your life means you should give up on God,” he pleaded.
“Who said anything about giving up on God. I just said that I’m tired with pretending to be something that I’m not,” and she turned to walk away.
“Alex wait…let me take you home,” he called.
She turned around, “that’s alright I’ll hitch a ride with George,” she replied.
“Who? Alex!”
She didn’t turn back again, she knew that she was probably overreacting and making a scene that would probably come back to haunt her later, but she couldn’t think of any other way to escape Rueben and his girlfriend with the cute smile and engaging personality. It was clear to her that she’d had no chance from the very start.