Which was a good thing. The knock came a fourth time – harder and louder.
Whoever it was, they had no intention of going away.
Fine. I was feeling mean enough to chase the person away. It might even feel good.
I jerked open the door, a snarled What on my lips.
It died at the sight of the man standing there.
Ryder looked so incredibly gorgeous, dressed in a suit with a coat thrown over the top of it. His hair was unruly, and it didn’t look like he’d shaved at all since I’d seen him.
My heart raced as our gazes locked.
Ryder searched my eyes.
I gripped the doorknob and tried to will strength into my legs.
“Can we talk?” he asked softly.
Unable to speak, I just stood aside and let him enter.
He looked around my little apartment, and I realized I hadn’t exactly given him the grand tour. Not that there was much to see – my space consisted of two small bedrooms, a kitchen that also served as the dining room, one bathroom, and the living room.
The tour would take two minutes.
I almost seized on the idea of doing it because at least I’d have something to say.
Ryder turned to look at me.
My knees quaked.
Hurrying around him, I settled down on the couch and grabbed a throw pillow, hauling it against my chest. “Have a seat,” I said, staring at a point past my shoulder.
He did…right next to me.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Better. Not as sore.” I darted a look at him from the corner of my eye. “I talked to the police. Esmail is still in jail.”
Ryder nodded. “He’ll stay there until his trial.”
“I know.” It had been a relief when Officer Matthews assured me that Esmail wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he told me softly.
I flicked another look at him, drinking in his ruggedly beautiful face. “What I said?” I echoed.
“About me needing time to adjust and figure things out with how my life has changed.” He blew out a breath and nodded. “You’re right. I do need some time. But there’s one thing that I’m certain of – one thing I don’t need to think through. And that’s you, Breanna.”
He slid closer to me.
I held my breath as he brushed my hair back from my shoulder and dropped a kiss on the skin left bared by my tank top. “I only need to be with you to know that this feels right,” he said, voice rough.
The sound of it sent a shiver down my spine.
“What about Natanael?” I asked, my resolve already crumbling.
“What about him? How can you being in my life hurt him?”
“I…” Licking my lips, I eased away from him. I didn’t want to – I wanted to curl up around him and never let go. But I needed to think. “That little guy has been through a lot. He needs some constancy in his life. I don’t know if that’s something we can give him…if we…”
Ryder pressed his thumb to my lips.
“I want you in my life. I want you in our lives, Breanna. Mine and Natanael’s.” He took my hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it. “I’ve been falling for you since pretty much the first time I laid eyes on you. I tried to pretend that it was something else, but it’s not. I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Tears sprang to my eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered.
“I’m not…I…well…” The tears broke free, and I hurriedly wiped them away. “Are you serious? Are you sure?”
“I know I don’t want to think about living my life without you in it.”
He leaned forward, and I held still as he pressed his lips to mine. “You want me too,” he murmured. “I know you do.”
“I do.” Laying a hand on his cheek, I gazed into his eyes. “You’re all I think about. All I want. I just…I have to think about what’s best for you now that Natanael is in your life. Whatever we do affects him.”
“I know.” He turned his face into my hand and kissed my palm. “But I think what’s best for us is you.”
I had to wipe away tears again. “I’m sorry…I’m just…I’m a little emotional. A little overwhelmed.”
“I can wait until you’re ready,” he assured me.
But I didn’t need him to wait. I already knew what I wanted. Slowly, I slid my hand back and curved it around his neck. “You don’t need to wait,” I whispered against his lips. “I already know what I want.”
He groaned into my mouth as I kissed him.
I went to reach for him, and the bruise on my chest had me gasping and pulling away.
“You’re still hurting,” he said, his forehead crinkled with concern.
“Just when I move the wrong way.” I tried to pull him back.
He didn’t let me. He slid from the couch and bent over, lifting me up into his arms. “Then let me do all the moving,” he said.
He found my bedroom with unerring accuracy and placed me on the bed like I was made from the finest, most delicate crystal.
I reached for him, but he caught my hands, guiding them back to my sides. “Let me do this,” he said softly.
So, I sat there as he stripped me naked, lifting my hips so he could slide my panties off. Once the last of my clothes were gone, I reached for him, but he again evaded my hands.
“This is all for you,” he said, coming closer and nudging me until I laid down, my hips hanging over the edge of the bed.
Ryder’s eyes darkened as he looked down at me and a grimace twisted his features as he traced the ugly bruised that went diagonally across my breasts. “From the seatbelt,” I said, my voice shaking.
He nodded and bent over me, pressing a gentle kiss to the worst of the mark.
The feel of his mouth on me had me curling my hands into fists.
I wanted so much more than that light kiss though.
I tried to sit up, but Ryder stopped me. “No. Let me do this for you,” he said. He watched me with insistent eyes, and I let myself go lax against the mattress.
He trailed a line of kisses down my torso, pausing to suck on the patch of skin just above my hipbone.
I felt that touch echo through me, in my breasts, low between my thighs where I was already wet for him.
Wet, aching…empty.
Ryder stroked his hands down my thighs, pushing them wider.
He held my eyes as he went to his knees, settling his shoulders between my legs.
I bit my lip in anticipation as he lowered his head.
The feel of his mouth pressed against me was sheer perfection, and I moaned, reaching for him. He didn’t stop me this time, and I curled my fingers into his hair, urging him closer.
He didn’t need that urging though.
He pressed his mouth tight to me like he couldn’t get enough.
I shuddered as he trailed his tongue through my folds, then up, circling it around my clitoris.
When he pushed two fingers inside me, I arched up.
Dimly, I felt the bruises I had protest, but I didn’t hurt enough for it to dispel the pleasure he gave me as he licked and ate and sucked on me.
He twisted his wrist, screwing his fingers in and out and I clamped down around him, so achy and needy.
He muttered something against me.
I had no idea what, but the words were following a hungry groan as he closed his mouth around my clit.
The fire that burned in me was already raging out of control, and Ryder seemed to want that, pushing me closer and closer to climax with every second.
When the climax did come, it wasn’t a brutal wave of pleasure or an assault against my senses that left me dazed, though.
It was…beautiful. Sweet and lazy, and he kept bringing me right back to that point, repeatedly until I was so drained, I couldn’t even lift my hand to stroke his head.
He rose back up and bent over me. His mouth was
wet from me, and I shivered as he licked his lips, eyes drooping like he found the taste intoxicating.
I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing.
I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again, he was easing me under the covers. I reached for him. “What are you doing?”
“Putting you to bed,” he said. “You’re worn out.”
I caught his wrist and tugged him closer.
“Stay with me,” I said.
He bent over me and kissed my forehead. “If that’s what you want.”
“I want.”
27
Breanna
By the time Saturday rolled around, I felt close to normal. If I didn’t bend or twist in a certain way, I could move without pain, and even that pain was getting better.
Figuring I was out of the woods, I did some light housework and made myself lunch.
As I was eating, Ryder called.
I answered, already smiling. “Hey, you.”
“Hey back. How are you feeling?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“Better. I’m not hurting so much now, so that’s a plus, right?”
“Absolutely.” His voice deepened. “Once you’re good and mended, I’ve got all sorts of things in mind that I want to do to you.”
“Oh…” Even though he wasn’t there, I felt myself getting overheated. Fanning myself, I smiled into the phone. “That sounds…good. Sounds really good.”
“I’m counting down the days.”
“You don’t have to count,” I told him. “Come on over, and…we can do those things now.”
He chuckled. “No. You need to be in better shape for what I want from you.”
Just the raspy sound of his voice was enough to weaken my knees, and I decided it was a good thing I was sitting down.
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to sit here and wait then.”
“Yes.”
We talked for a little while longer and made plans to get dinner on Monday.
“I’m going to spend the weekend with Natanael. We’re still getting to know each other,” he said as the conversation wound down.
“That sounds like a good way to spend the weekend.”
“I can only think of one thing that would make it better,” he told me. “But you need rest.”
We hung up shortly after, and I finished eating with a goofy smile on my face.
As good as I’d felt Saturday, Sunday rolled around, and I lounged around in bed, although it was almost noon. I’d gotten up to go to the bathroom and take some ibuprofen, but then I went right back to bed.
“I don’t need this right now,” I grumbled as a sharp pain shot through my belly.
It had been a long while since I’d had cramps – the same painful cramps that were the entire reason I’d started taking the pill in the first place. It was a low dose, but those little pills had changed my life. I no longer spent three or four days a month half bent over from the pain.
Maybe it was because it had been a while since I’d hurt like this, but it seemed far worse than normal.
I’d frequently had issues with cramping up until the doctor found the right kind of birth control for me. The doctor had diagnosed me with endometriosis, and I knew from experience there wasn’t much I could do about the pain except ride it out.
My phone rang, and I answered it, wincing at how pitiful I sounded.
“Wow. I thought you told me you were feeling better,” Stella said in lieu of a greeting. “You sound terrible.”
“I feel terrible. I’m cramping.”
“Oh, honey…”
“I’ll be okay, it’s just…” I grimaced as another spasm shot through my belly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything like this.”
I wasn’t sure if my cramping had ever been this bad before. It had to be the stress from the accident and everything going on with Ryder and Natanael and DeLaria.
Stella and I talked for a few more minutes, then she hung up, telling me to get some rest.
I’d love to, except the pain seemed to be getting worse, spreading up from my belly to my chest, then my neck and torso.
I was practically crying from the pain when I heard a knock at the door, followed by Stella’s voice.
“Hey, honey…” She appeared in the doorway.
I squeezed my eyes closed.
“Wow. You really are hurting, aren’t you?” Stella said, sitting down on the bed. She dropped a plastic bag next to me and reached up to brush her fingers down my face. “I brought you some of the self-heating pads, thinking maybe it would help.”
I smiled as best as I could through the pain. “Thank you.”
She got the box open and handed me one of the self-adhesive pads. I placed it over the lower part of my belly where the pain seemed to be the worst.
Stella sat with me for a little while, and I waited for the pain to ease.
It wasn’t getting any better though.
I got up and checked the time. It was probably too soon for it, but I was taking more ibuprofen. I shuffled into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
After taking the medicine, I went to use the toilet.
The moment I pulled my black yoga pants down, I froze.
I had blood on me.
A lot of blood.
I swayed, slamming a hand against the sink as a wave of dizziness washed over me. The dizziness only got worse as I cleaned myself up and shuffled back outside into the bedroom, wearing a loose pair of jogger pants that I’d left draped over the tub.
“Any better?” Stella asked, worry creasing her brow.
“No.” I shook my head, but just as I went to say something else, a sharp pain had me doubled over.
I almost fell. I would have if Stella hadn’t rushed to my side.
“Honey, I don’t think this is normal,” she said. “Even if you have had rough periods before. This isn’t…it’s not right.”
I clung to her as she helped me over to the bed. The dizziness was getting worse, and a wave of weakness washed over me. “I think you’re right. Maybe I should go to the hospital.”
“I think that’s a damn good idea. Come on. I’m taking you now.”
I sat rocking in a chair as Stella hurriedly filled out the paperwork. She kept asking me questions, and I answered as best as I could as sharp pains continued to twist my insides. It was like some giant had his hand inside and was slowly squeezing my internal organs into mush, it hurt so bad.
I eased my way to the edge of the chair and stood up. “I’ve got to move. This…this just hurts so bad. I can’t sit still.”
The room wobbled around me, and Stella lunged to my side just as I started to topple sideways.
“What is wrong with me?” I asked her, my voice breaking.
“I don’t know, but we’re going to find out.” My legs tried to fold beneath me, she cursed, her arms going around me tighter. “I can’t hold you up forever, sweetie. Come on. I know it hurts, but you’re better if you’re off your feet.”
I nodded and let her turn me around.
The chair seemed awfully far away, and I blinked, trying to clear my head. We’d only taken two shuffling steps when another spasm hit, and I cried out, doubling over again.
This time, Stella wasn’t enough to help me keep me on my feet, and I crumpled to the ground. Another painful cramp twisted through me, and I gave Stella a helpless, terrified look.
But she wasn’t looking at me.
Dimly, I heard her shouting.
“Help!”
Help…that sounded…good…
I woke up to a fresh bout of cramps.
I hurtled upright and realized I was in a bed.
Stella was there with me, talking to a man in a white coat.
She saw me and rushed to my side. “Sweetie.”
I couldn’t reply. It was taking everything I had not to start bawling from the pain.
“Ms. Parrino.” The doctor moved to the other side of the bed. He spoke to m
e, asking questions that I answered as best as I could.
Finally, he nodded. “We need to run a few tests. They won’t take long.”
“She was in a car wreck last week. Could this be from that?” Stella asked.
“I’m not sure.” The doctor gave her a patient smile. “But the sooner we start those tests, the better.” He looked at me. “What hospital were you treated at?”
“Here,” I gasped out. “They brought me here.”
“Good. It will make it easier to access those records. Somebody will be in to get you shortly.”
Everything turned into a blur of pain, cold chills, and nausea. I vaguely recalled somebody taking some blood from me, asking me questions about my last menstrual period and if I was sexually active.
I clung to Stella’s hand until they made her let go. “We have to go do another test,” I heard somebody say. “You can wait in the waiting room. We’ll get you as soon as she’s done.”
The lights blurred together over my head as they pulled the rolling bed out from the curtained area where I’d been.
I lost myself in another wave of pain, and when I could finally breathe again, we were in a dark room.
“I need you to be still…”
I looked toward the sound of the voice and saw a woman smiling down at me. I nodded, fisting my hands in the sheets as she pushed my gown up over my belly.
Something cold was smoothed over me and then she pressed something hard to my belly. I cried out.
“I know…I know…I’ll be quick,” she said. Urgency underscored her voice as she continued to speak. “But I need you to be still…”
I fought the urge to curl up into a ball, crying at how much I hurt.
I just wanted this to end.
The doctor bent over me, staring at me with serious eyes.
“Do you understand what I’ve told you?” he asked. I nodded, half paralyzed with terror. “A nurse is on her way to get you ready.”
“Where’s Stella?” I asked him pitifully. “Where’s my friend? Can I see her?”