Going back to that time in his life brought up an excessive amount of pain he was hesitant to revisit, even now. He forged ahead despite his growing apprehension, hoping that sharing wouldn’t resurrect the guilt he’d been trying to put behind him.
“Let me start before all of it happened.” He looked at her and chuckled sadly. “I was a happy-go-lucky kid once, with a bright future and a harem of admiring girls at my beck and call.”
“What? You telling me you were a rock star or something?”
He smirked. “Nah, can’t play a lick of music, but I can handle a football like it was my bitch.”
“You were a jock in high school?” Mary looked him over and nodded. “Yeah, I guess I can see that, but aren’t you a little too scrawny to be a football player?”
“What I lacked in bulk I made up for in accuracy. Besides, being a quarterback takes more than just throwing skills. The leadership I brought got me on the varsity team in my sophomore year. I was the shit back then.”
Mary raised an eyebrow. “The shit, huh?”
“Big shit.” Faelan got up and pulled out his high school yearbook from his bookshelf. He handed it to her, not wanting to look, knowing Trevor’s picture was in there. He said in a light tone to hide his growing unease, “My dad saw a bright future ahead for me. I had Oklahoma, Texas, and Florida in my sights after high school.”
Mary flipped through the pages and stopped. A grin spread across her lips. “Oh, look at you. Quite the lady-killer, even back then. And that smile…” She looked up from the page. “I haven’t ever seen you smile like that.”
“That was a different life. I’m not that person.”
Mary ran her fingers over the pages. “Well, I would have fucked this all-American boy and then shown him a thing or two in the process.”
Faelan took the book from her and closed it. “Yeah, I bet you would have taught me a thing or two. My girlfriends back then were definitely vanilla.”
“What was your family like? Not as shitty as mine, I take it.”
“No, my parents were awesome back then. My dad believed in me and pushed me hard, but, rather than resenting it, I appreciated his support. As far as my mom, she had her hands full with my sister. Lisa was a problem child in middle school. Poor kid. She really struggled under my shadow and it infuriated her that her friends all flirted with me. I, myself, found it quite amusing.”
“I bet.” Mary smirked.
Faelan thought back on the kid he used to be, so confident with nothing standing in his way. How ironic that he was the one to ruin it. In one fell swoop, he became his own worst enemy—and an enemy of the entire town.
It was a long, hard fall to the bottom.
“The accident happened the night we’d won the game against our biggest rival. Man, that was some victory. One for the books. I was flying high because the state championship was in our sights. Clinching that win was a big deal, and the best part? I threw the winning pass. I remember Coach Clide slapping me on the back afterward and telling me, ‘You’re going to go far kid. Mark my words.’”
Faelan paused. Everything up to that point had been easy to talk about, but what came next was his living nightmare.
One he relived.
Every.
Damn.
Day.
“Don’t hold back on me now, baby. I’m all ears,” Mary encouraged.
Faelan braced himself for the emotions he was about to unleash. “I was a smoker, back when a sixteen-year-old could buy a pack. I thought it made me look older, which was important to the upperclassmen on the team.”
“Never was tempted to try them myself. That shit kills.”
The weight of his self-loathing increased with her statement, making it hard for him to continue. “Yeah…”
He was now regretting he’d started down this path with her but was committed. “I was flying high after pulling out that win and was speeding home to celebrate with my dad. I lit the cigarette without giving it a second thought, but the match fell between my legs. I totally freaked out trying to put the flame out.”
Faelan stopped, tears forming in his eyes.
“Go on, baby.”
“I was so busy swatting at the match, I never saw the car…” He swallowed hard as the vision of the crash played in his mind. “I looked up and realized I was in the other lane headed straight for it. The car might have tried to swerve out of the way, but there was no time to react. My headlights fell on the driver just before impact. I saw it was Trevor just before we hit.” Faelan shook his head. “I will never forget the look of terror on his face.”
Talking about it wasn’t helping. The horror of that moment, the sound of the cars colliding, the acidic smell of the airbag exploding, and the sweet odor of radiator fluid mixing with burning oil—they all were etched in his mind.
However, it was the last moment of Trevor’s life that Faelan could not let go of. That look of horror was how he would forever remember the boy.
It was his cross to bear.
“So you actually knew the kid?” Mary asked.
Faelan looked back at her. “We weren’t friends. Well, at least not by that time. Trevor and I went to the same schools growing up. Early on in elementary school we started a club together, can’t remember what the heck it was about though. We went our separate ways when I got involved in football. He wasn’t the athletic type. Trevor was more of a brainiac. You know, the kind of guy who might cure cancer or something when he got older. I keep thinking about it.”
“You can’t know that.”
“My only focus was playing football, but Trevor had bigger plans.”
“How do you know?”
Faelan closed his eyes. “His parents told me.”
“Oh God…”
“Yeah, it was bad. By the end, the whole town turned against me and I couldn’t blame them.”
Mary wrapped her arms around him, but he felt numb.
“What about your parents, didn’t they defend you?”
“Yes, and by doing so they came under fire as well. My entire family suffered because of my mistake. It got so ugly, they were eventually forced to move. That’s why my parents live in a cabin, alone in the mountains now. They left in shame for something I did. They didn’t deserve that. Neither did my poor sister.”
“Damn. How old were you again?”
“Sixteen.”
“You were just a kid.”
“So was Trevor.”
“But it was a fucking accident.”
Faelan rolled his eyes, knowing he was at fault and there were no excuses. “I was a new driver and I was speeding. I should never have been lighting up at the wheel. It was a fatal mistake that took Trevor’s life.”
“Shit, you really are fucked up.”
“Too fucked up for you?”
“Hell no. But why have you let it mess with you so bad? Accidents happen. Life goes on.”
“Yeah, my therapist tried to convince me of the same thing. But she wasn’t there. She didn’t face the grief of Trevor’s parents or watch my family go through hell because of it. I didn’t ruin just one life, I destroyed two families that night.”
“Fuck, I’m telling you, if my father felt one-tenth the remorse you do, I might be able to forgive him.”
Faelan shook his head, not wanting forgiveness. “Remorse can’t change the past.”
“But it goes a hell of a long way in validating the person who was wronged. Seriously, it means something. It counts.”
“It didn’t for Trevor’s parents.”
“Did you personally ask for their forgiveness?”
He nodded. “I did, but I wish I hadn’t. I only added fuel to the fire.”
That haunting conversation sprang to his mind, tormenting him as he relived it.
“Can we see the boy?” a male voice asked just outside his hospital room. Faelan tensed.
“Let me ask him.”
A nurse walked into Faelan’s room and told him, “Trevor’s par
ents are outside, Mr. Wallace. They would like to speak with you if you feel up to it.”
Fear gripped his heart. How could he face them knowing he’d caused the crash that killed their son? He glanced warily at the doorway, but nodded his consent.
The two walked in, avoiding eye contact with him. After the nurse left, however, the father shut the door and they both turned to face Faelan as one unit.
“Murderer.”
Faelan looked at Trevor’s mother, the guilt crippling him to the point he couldn’t breathe as he listened to her. “My son should be alive, not you.”
Lying in the hospital bed completely defenseless, having barely survived the accident himself, Faelan could do little else but take their wrath.
Tubes ran out in every direction and the pain in his side was excruciating. But nothing as painful as this. The anger and hatred in her eyes hurt far, far worse.
“I’m sorry…” he croaked, his whole body stiff and raw from the recent trauma.
“What good does ‘sorry’ do me when my son lies dead in the ground?” she demanded.
Trevor’s father glared at Faelan with a dark, cold stare. “You stole our only son. There is nothing you can do or say that will ever atone for what you’ve done.”
Still reeling from the fact he’d killed a person—someone he knew and had grown up with—Faelan said nothing.
Less than twenty-four hours ago he was throwing the winning pass and hailed the hero of the high school. Now he was a murderer.
“Why couldn’t it have been you?” Trevor’s mother cried, turning to her husband for solace.
“I—”
“I’m sorry to disturb you,” the nurse interrupted as she opened the door. “It’s time to check on my patient’s vitals. Would you two mind stepping out for a bit?”
“We’re done here,” the father said. He pointed at Faelan. “I will tell the world what you’ve done. When I’m finished, you’ll wish you were never born.”
Trevor’s parents exited the room, leaving their threat hanging over Faelan like a noose.
Putting her hand on his arm, the nurse tried to comfort him. “They’re upset and grieving. Don’t take what they say to heart.”
“I killed their son.” When he closed his eyes, he saw Trevor’s face at the moment of impact. It jolted him physically. Then a new vision began to form. Trevor locked in a coffin, pounding against the lid in panic, begging to be let out.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she adjusted the tubing and had him lie back.
Tears came to his eyes when he confessed. “I should have died. The accident was my fault.”
The nurse smiled kindly without judgment. “You survived for a reason. Embrace the gift and make the most of each day, for Trevor’s sake and yours.”
Faelan turned his head away from her, the words of Trevor’s parents still ringing in his head. He knew with icy certainty that Trevor’s father would follow through with his threat.
Mr. Fisher was a man of wealth and power.
“Like I said,” Faelan sighed, looking back at Mary, “it didn’t go well with Trevor’s parents. My family paid the price, but it was my sister who truly suffered.”
“Why, what happened to her?”
That was one subject he was not prepared to talk about and he suddenly regretted mentioning it to her. “We’re done.”
She gently grasped his arm. “Come on, Faelan. It’s easy to tell whatever happened still eats you up inside.”
Shaking his head, Faelan got up and walked away from her, needing to physically separate himself from the memories he’d just evoked. “Let it go, Mary.”
She frowned, looking as if she was going to argue.
Faelan warned her not to push with a stern look.
Still wanting to force the issue, Mary remained silent but her thoughts were easy to read on her face.
There were times when it was important to tiptoe around her feelings, but this was not one of them. “Your thoughts speak for you and are the same as if you had said them aloud.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up his hand to stop her. “Don’t make me regret having shared with you.”
“My therapis—”
Failing to start her sentence with an apology was a serious error. It weakened his trust in her. Why would he ever choose to walk down that emotional road with her if she could not respect his limit now?
Faelan did not want this incident to define their future. He desired an open and trusting relationship. One where they both felt safe to share their darkest moments.
He needed to trust her.
Mary’s willful disobedience when he had asked for her understanding was disappointing. “You will go to the bed and kneel beside it until I call for you. Do you understand why you have earned this punishment?”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I didn’t listen to you.”
“You did not. While I appreciate your concern for me, I know my own boundaries. I expected you to respect them, just as I have yours. Your total disregard for my feelings as well as my position as your Dom is deeply disappointing.”
Mary wilted when he uttered those last words.
“Go now.”
She bowed, saying quietly, “I’m sorry, Faelan.”
“Those should have been the first words from your lips when I confronted you, but I accept your apology.”
Mary walked off to begin her punishment. Rather than being upset, she seemed content. Fealan understood her well enough to know Mary needed the reassurance he was in charge whenever she overstepped. Had he let this slide, it would have undermined her confidence in him as well as his trust in her.
Being a Dom to a submissive like Mary was not easy, but he had learned to circumnavigate her many complexities.
Her Terms
Faelan should have known something was going to happen. He woke up feeling too happy, the kind of exuberance that seems out of place.
He didn’t question it however. Opening the shower door, he joined Mary, ignoring the fact it would make them both late.
“Let me ravage this body of yours,” he growled.
Picking up on his positive mood, she readily agreed. He ran his hands over her body, reveling in the firmness of her breasts and the roundness of those shapely buttocks. He slapped her ass, causing water droplets to fly.
Mary cried out in pleasure.
Pushing her against the cold tile, he grabbed her buttocks and spread her open, admiring the view of her pink outer walls and that hole that begged to be fucked. “We don’t have time for more than a quickie,” he explained, knowing their time was short.
“Exactly what I want,” she purred. “Hurt me with that nasty cock.”
“Hurt me, Master,” he corrected.
She turned her head back and smiled mischievously, “Please, Master, hurt me with your hard, fucking cock.”
With no warm-up, he shoved his rigid shaft into her tight pussy, then began pumping deeper into her. Biting down on her shoulder, he thrust harder as her body began coating him with her desire.
Faelan’s growls became animalistic as he rammed into her body, focused on only one thing—coming inside that beautiful cunt.
Mary cried out in ecstasy, getting off on the rough sex. “Can I come?” she begged.
Wanting her to enjoy the morning jaunt as much as him, he readily agreed.
Mary snuck her hand between her legs and began rubbing her clit rapidly as he fucked her harder.
When the buildup had reached maximum intensity, he grabbed her hips and slammed into her. Mary screamed as she rubbed her clit more vigorously, wanting to come with him.
Faelan rammed her against the shower wall, forcing the last of his come deep inside her. He was pleased when he felt Mary’s vaginal muscles begin milking his spent cock.
“Good girl,” he growled.
Mary answered him with a loud moan, continuing her vigorous motion until the last of her pulsations ended.
As they were tow
eling off, Mary told him, “You haven’t fucked me like that in a long time.”
“I’m feeling in a particularly good mood today.” He ran his fingers over the scars on his abdomen. “It appears your nursing skills must be paying off.”
Mary licked her lips as she stared at him lustfully. “I’m hoping to be treated in the same manner when I get home from work tonight. Maybe even a little rougher.”
Faelan grabbed her wet hair and twisted it, pulling her head back. “You will get exactly what I want you to have.”
Mary smiled up at him. “Yes, Master.”
Faelan let her go and the two quickly got dressed for work. Grabbing nutrition bars for them both, he handed her one on their way out the door.
He didn’t see the envelope lying on the doormat and would have passed over it if it hadn’t been for Mary.
“Wait a sec…what’s this?” she asked, bending down to pick it up. She looked to Faelan to see if he was playing a trick on her.
Faelan looked at the envelope with trepidation, a sense of foreboding settling over him as she turned it over and started to open it.
“It’s not from me, Mary.”
She stopped for a moment and then smiled even wider as she ripped the rest of the way and pulled out the notecard inside. “It has to be from my fairy godmother, don’t you think?”
Faelan stared at the note, feeling violated by this unwanted intrusion.
Mary opened it up and began reading aloud. “Miss Wilson, I hope you have enjoyed my gifts through the years…” She looked up at Faelan, grinning. “I told you it was from her.” She looked back down at the note and continued reading, “And now I would like to meet you in person. Please call me at your earliest convenience to arrange a date. I trust you won’t mind flying to LA. Sincerely, Mr. Greg Holloway.”
Mary stared at the familiar name, a stunned look on her face.
Faelan could not shake the growing feeling of dread. If he thought it would help, he would have torn that note from Mary’s hands and ripped it into pieces. “Mr. Holloway. Is that the same man Brie has worked with in the past?”
Mary looked up from the note and nodded. “Brie always said the man had some kind of thing for me, but I just assumed…